Best Heckle

[uk_lefty]

Inspired by the "worst ever gig" thread, What's the best Heckle you've ever had? Meaning funniest, weirdest, best timed, etc? 

Mine, in other thread, wasn't a heckle as such but while doing a solo acoustic spot in one of those cosmically aligned timings where everyone in a rowdy pub is quiet at the same time I heard "he's a good guitarist but stinky poo singer!" And the offender was.... My own Dad!  

Edited September 17, 2018 by uk_lefty

[arthurhenry]

1 hour ago, uk_lefty said:

Inspired by the "worst ever gig" thread, What's the best Heckle you've ever had? Meaning funniest, weirdest, best timed, etc? 

Mine, in other thread, wasn't a heckle as such but while doing a solo acoustic spot in one of those cosmically aligned timings where everyone in a rowdy pub is quiet at the same time I heard "he's a good guitarist but stinky poo singer!" And the offender was.... My own Dad!  

So the classic comeback of "Thanks Dad" wouldn't quite have worked!

[MacDaddy]

To a particularly bad originals band:

"Play a song we know!"

Followed by:

"Try playing a song you know!"

 

[Dood]

Many years ago, I played in a band with the very talented worldwide talent that is Andy James, with Matt Goom on drums (ex-Quireboys, ex-Glenn Hughes). 

We had just slammed our way through a covers set and being as our singer and guitarist both loved a bit of Bon Jovi, we finished with "It's My Life".

Last note punched out when out dashed behind us (via the toilet next to the stage) Papa Lazarou shouting, "It's MAaaaaaaa Wiiiiife, now!"

The funniest thing ever and also the most profound upstaging I've ever experienced!

 

[DJpullchord]

Hello daaaaaaaaaaave

[Vinny]

Singist: ...and this one is Remedy.

Punter: Er...by the Black Crowes?

Singist: Yep.

Punter: Please don't.

Singist: Why not?

Punter: Because I simply cannot take any more pleasure.

Legend-level sarcasm or not? You decide.

[steantval]

Our vocalist for a laugh started singing Fly Me To The Moon

Our guitarist asks the audience - will someone buy him a f*cking ticket.

[Linus27]

My mate used to be brilliant with heckles. The best one he threw at me was "play one the bass player knows" 😁

[bazzbass]

we heckle ourselves

 

"Thank YOU, you're a lovely audience, Wayne"

[Dom in Dorset]

"I'm not Cobby"  - you had to be there.

[Baxlin]

1 hour ago, Dom in Somerset said:

"I'm not Cobby"  - you had to be there.

Funny, that, I’m just off out to meet a mate whose name is Cobby.......

[Fozza]

Not music related but I've always loved the story of the stand up comedian who started his act with the line, "Hello, I'm schizophrenic."

A voice in the audience calls out, "Well, you can both f**k off, then!"

[Raymondo]

Having spent many a year playing the "social clubs" I have heard many of the classics..

"play summat we know" was a regular in the Yorkshire clubs, followed with "play summat ya know" of course.

" can you play over the hills and far away" was quite clever.

At a club in Leicester they had the habit of placing written request on the edge of the stage. One night a quite pleasant looking young lady handed a request to our ,rather fabulous female singer...she really was very good indeed....... Her face paled when she read it and she went rather quiet for a while. At the break she showed us the note it read..." Can you flip off you are stinky poo!" ( I realise that the profanity filter will play havoc with that but you'll get the drift).😉

We were enjoying quite a joyous response with calls for a third encore at a club in one south Yorkshire town ( forget which) with the compare asking if they should let us play on some more an unusually packed crowd were all shouting yes when, in a lull, a loud very Yorkshire voice shouted out... "Don't forget we have the last house of Bingo to play!"

 

We did the encore, with very little enthusiasm and walked straight off at the end despite shouts for further songs....Support to the Bingo, highlight of my life.😎

[mikel]

One often leveled at vocalists in the North East back in the day "You couldn't shout COAL"

[thepurpleblob]

Just this weekend... (to set the scene we are all 'mature' and have got pretty good gear)... "you lot certainly know how to spend money!!"

[mikel]

4 minutes ago, thepurpleblob said:

Just this weekend... (to set the scene we are all 'mature' and have got pretty good gear)... "you lot certainly know how to spend money!!"

That is priceless. Subtle yet deadly.

[Geek99]

11 minutes ago, thepurpleblob said:

Just this weekend... (to set the scene we are all 'mature' and have got pretty good gear)... "you lot certainly know how to spend money!!"

"yes, we bought instruments this time but normally yo momma earns it off me by the hour" 

 

 

best make sure the lady concerned is not in the room at the time.

Unless she laughs in which case its okay

Edited September 18, 2018 by Geek99

[chris_b]

At the end of a gig the singer was winding up.

He said, "Thank you, we've had a great night." "It wasn't this one, but. . . . "

[leroydiamond]

Was doing a gig when this youg lady, at least 30 years younger than me started to heckle. I informed her that I was wearing the latest Lynx deodorant and would she like to get closer to the stage for a whif. She duly did and immediately roared into the mic "it smells more like old spice to me"

Edited September 18, 2018 by leroydiamond

[Count Bassy]

Seen on you tube

Singer "Any requests?"

Audience Member "Yes, can I have my money back?"

[MacDaddy]

10 minutes ago, Count Bassy said:

Seen on you tube

Singer "Any requests?"

Audience Member "Yes, can I have my money back?"

"we've had 2 requests. I can't do the first as the bass is too wide..."

[Buzzy]

My best heckle was when I played  gig in a pub that had been taken over by bikers, the landlord told us absolutely no encores and we must finish at 11:00.

End of the second set they are all shouting for more, we get the nod from the landlord that we can do one more song.

Guitarist ( who doesn't like encores) "ok, you've twisted my arm , we'll do one more"

Voice from the crowd " We'll twist your f*****g head if you don't.

[Japhet]

1 hour ago, Count Bassy said:

Seen on you tube

Singer "Any requests?"

Audience Member "Yes, can I have my money back?"

Also, 'We've had a request, but we're going to keep playing'.

[cetera]

Heckling the audience can be fun too!

"There are some beautiful women in the house tonight!"
To the woman leaning on the stage at the front.... "Go on love, turn around, take a look...!" 😂😂

[Japhet]

14 minutes ago, cetera said:

Heckling the audience can be fun too!

"There are some beautiful women in the house tonight!"
To the woman leaning on the stage at the front.... "Go on love, turn around, take a look...!" 😂😂

To a woman wearing all black who had a really loud, raucous laugh

'Don't clap like that love or I might throw you a fish'.