solo4652 Posted November 1, 2018 Author Share Posted November 1, 2018 2 minutes ago, Dad3353 said: All my ex-floozies Did me down low But now I see clearly I'm past that, and how..! Ha! 😁 You want dodgy doggerel? - I'm your man. You want catchy song lyrics - speak to Dad 3353! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monkey Steve Posted November 1, 2018 Share Posted November 1, 2018 1 hour ago, solo4652 said: Now that hadn't occurred to me! However, for me, lyrics should be meaningful. Also, they should rhythm, and they scan. Maybe this is where I'm going wrong - trying too hard. Here's an example. I've just been to the barbers. While waiting, I jotted down a few lines. Bear with me. Please be gentle with this heart of mine. Most of my women inhabit my past, and all of those women took me to task. Never so lonely, now ever so clear that fear of short-falling should stay in my past. More verses would tell of moving on, recovery, growing, optimism, being cherished for the first time ever. I'd re-work the last line of that first verse for the last line of each verse. Title = Future past. Too deep for song lyrics? Trying too hard? I think you’ll find that’s a limerick Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
phil.c60 Posted November 1, 2018 Share Posted November 1, 2018 3 hours ago, Cuzzie said: And don’t ever end a line with the word Orange Unless your name is Gorringe...... 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheGreek Posted November 1, 2018 Share Posted November 1, 2018 (edited) 4 hours ago, MacDaddy said: Buy a decent rhyming dictionary and a thesaurus. This...I recall, many, many years ago, Dean Freedman being on "Multicoloured Swapshop" and donating his rhyming thesaurus as a prize.... Obviously not this one but.. https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/merriam-websters-rhyming-dictionary-merriam-webster-inc-staff/1007523900#/ Edited November 1, 2018 by TheGreek Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PaulWarning Posted November 1, 2018 Share Posted November 1, 2018 4 hours ago, MacDaddy said: Sterling advice from Sir Tim Rice: Buy a decent rhyming dictionary and a thesaurus. no need it's all free online, saved me hours trying to figure out what rhymes with what Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
skankdelvar Posted November 1, 2018 Share Posted November 1, 2018 (edited) 4 hours ago, solo4652 said: Too deep for song lyrics? Trying too hard? Fine as confessional poetry but not so much as a song lyric. It's not that it's particularly 'deep' but the lengthy process of going through rejection, moving on, growing, optimism and being cherished places too many demands on the casual listener - unless the purpose of writing those lyrics is simply to help you put a frame around things that have happened to you, which is a perfectly admirable reason for writing things down. If you're writing songs for other people to listen to, you might be better off choosing two consecutive points in your journey ( [Rejection > moving on] or [growing > optimism] or [optimism > being cherished] or even [being cherished > rejection]) and writing a song about that shorter journey. Try to do the whole process in one go and you're in for five or six verses of reflective stuff and dense, poetic words which is fine if one is Leonard Cohen, not so much if one is not. So: why not write about a simpler, shorter journey and maybe take the personal edge off it by writing it in the second or third person. Oh, and get the hook into the song within 28 secs or it'll never get past a radio playlist committee Edited November 1, 2018 by skankdelvar Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
solo4652 Posted November 1, 2018 Author Share Posted November 1, 2018 2 hours ago, skankdelvar said: Fine as confessional poetry but not so much as a song lyric. It's not that it's particularly 'deep' but the lengthy process of going through rejection, moving on, growing, optimism and being cherished places too many demands on the casual listener - unless the purpose of writing those lyrics is simply to help you put a frame around things that have happened to you, which is a perfectly admirable reason for writing things down. If you're writing songs for other people to listen to, you might be better off choosing two consecutive points in your journey ( [Rejection > moving on] or [growing > optimism] or [optimism > being cherished] or even [being cherished > rejection]) and writing a song about that shorter journey. Try to do the whole process in one go and you're in for five or six verses of reflective stuff and dense, poetic words which is fine if one is Leonard Cohen, not so much if one is not. So: why not write about a simpler, shorter journey and maybe take the personal edge off it by writing it in the second or third person. Oh, and get the hook into the song within 28 secs or it'll never get past a radio playlist committee Thank you. That's exactly the sort of advice I was looking for. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Happy Jack Posted November 1, 2018 Share Posted November 1, 2018 4 hours ago, Monkey Steve said: I think you’ll find that’s a limerick I don't think so. I really don't. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maude Posted November 1, 2018 Share Posted November 1, 2018 (edited) If stuck for inspiration try writing about everyday characters you see around you. That lonely busker with the weathered guitar. He had a career but it didn't go far. His worldly possessions in a bag by his side. His previous life washed away like the tide. His family still love him but he'll never return. He's doing alright, he's got eight quid to burn. What you think he's lacking won't ever get him down. He's the Lord of his manor, the King of his town. Blah, blah, etc, etc. Pick an interesting person, couple, group and make up their story. It stops it feeling too personal when singing to others. It worked for the Kinks. 😊 Edited November 1, 2018 by Maude 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lozkerr Posted November 1, 2018 Share Posted November 1, 2018 42 minutes ago, Maude said: If stuck for inspiration try writing about everyday characters you see around you. Sound advice. Also, try free writing - you just write and write. Doesn't have to rhyme, look like lyrics or even make sense. It can be doggerel, obscenities, anything you like, but if you try to keep a theme or idea in your head while you're doing it, things can pop out of nowhere. It might be something alliterative or onomatopoeic or a play on words - anything. But even a short sentence can be enough to get you going. I'm working on a TV series at the moment, and free writing is a godsend when I hit a wall. I just put my characters into mundane situations and type away. Most of it goes into the bit bucket, but I've come up with some gems that I'm very pleased with. You do have to be ruthless and self-critical to a fault, though. It's quite normal to write ten thousand words and chuck almost everything away; and what's left may need a lot of changes before it works. But when it does work, it's immensely rewarding. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lozkerr Posted November 1, 2018 Share Posted November 1, 2018 57 minutes ago, Maude said: If stuck for inspiration try writing about everyday characters you see around you. Or do some people watching: I stand alone on a silent street in a town so far away While they picture me as I post a letter saying where I went today Did this, did that, got drunk, bought tartan tat As the rows of blank-faced windows glared and told me to go away ... etc 🙂 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
skankdelvar Posted November 2, 2018 Share Posted November 2, 2018 (edited) 3 hours ago, solo4652 said: Thank you. That's exactly the sort of advice I was looking for. You're very welcome. Also, doing one-step journeys means you can get three or four songs songs out of your greater 'journey'. Then - if you like - you can join them up with some short instrumental interludes and - Hey Presto! - you got yourself a mini rock opera. Ker-ching! Slightly unbelievably, some of the best lyric writers operate in the Country genre. Example: I can hardly bear the sight of lipstick On the cigarettes there in the ashtray Lyin' cold the way you left them But at least your lips caressed them while you packed And a lip print on a half-filled cup of coffee that you poured and didn't drink But at least you thought you wanted it, that's so much more than I can say for me A Good Year For The Roses - Writer: Jerry Chesnut / Performer: George Jones Edited November 2, 2018 by skankdelvar Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bolo Posted November 2, 2018 Share Posted November 2, 2018 Tell them what the song is called or about Introduce the situation and the main characters Why is it not straight forward for this situation to evolve into a happy ending, what's the trouble. Tell them what the song is about or the name of the song Do that again How was the trouble resolved, describe the happy ending Tell them the name of the song some more. There you have it. The ultimate songwriting guide! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Happy Jack Posted November 2, 2018 Share Posted November 2, 2018 OK, that's War And Peace, now let's see you summarise A La Recherche De Temps Perdu ... 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lurksalot Posted November 2, 2018 Share Posted November 2, 2018 The first thing I find is a spark of inspiration , it’s difficult to conjure up a story without knowing what you want to say. the genre makes a massive difference to the lyric type and content and style. have a stab at the monthly composition challenge , it offers a great starting point. you get a subject given to you , you get a visual scene presented and most importantly , you have a deadline , you can write stuff forever but until you actually start to press the publish button it doesn’t seem done to me. Like everything else, practice works, just keep knocking them out and one day you might start to like one or two of them 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MacDaddy Posted November 2, 2018 Share Posted November 2, 2018 or try the'Disaster Area' approach: Their songs are on the whole very simple and mostly follow the familiar theme of boy-being meets girl-being beneath silvery moon, which then explodes for no adequately explored reason. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Fozza Posted November 2, 2018 Share Posted November 2, 2018 1 hour ago, Happy Jack said: OK, that's War And Peace, now let's see you summarise A La Recherche De Temps Perdu ... http://www.montypython.net/scripts/proust.php Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lozkerr Posted November 2, 2018 Share Posted November 2, 2018 8 hours ago, skankdelvar said: Slightly unbelievably, some of the best lyric writers operate in the Country genre. Example: Heh, Country's easy. Here's a starter kit: DO-IT-YOURSELF COUNTRY & WESTERN SONG KIT I met her [1] [2]. I can still recall [3] she wore. 1. 2. 3. on the highway in September that purple dress in Sheboygan at McDonald's that little hat outside Fresno ridin' shotgun that burlap bra at a truck stop wrestlin' gators those training pants on probation all hunched over the stolen goods in a jail cell poppin' uppers that plastic nose in a nightmare sort of pregnant the Stassin pin incognito with joggers the neon sign in the Stone Age stoned on oatmeal that creepy smile in a treehouse with Merv Griffin the hearing aid in a gay bar dead all over the boxer shorts She was [4] [5]. 4. 5 sobbin' at the toll booth in the twilight drinkin' Dr. Pepper but I loved her weighted down with Twinkies by the off-ramp breakin' out with acne near Poughkeepsie crawlin' through the prairie with her cobra smellin' kind of funny when she shot me crashin' through the guardrail on her elbows chewin' on a hangnail with Led-Zeppelin talkin' in Swahili with Miss Piggy drownin' in the quicksand with a wetback slurpin' up linguini in her muu-muu and I knew [6]; [7] I'd [8] forever; 6. 7. 8. no guy would ever love her more I promised her stay with her that she would be an easy score I knew deep down warp her mind she'd bought her dentures in a store She asked me if swear off booze that she would be a crashing bore I told her shrink change my sex I'd never rate her more than "4" The judge declared punch her out they'd hate her guts in Baltimore My Pooh Bear said live off her it was a raven, nothing more I shrieked in pain have my rash we really lost the last World War The painters knew stay a dwarf I'd have to scrape her off the floor A Klingon said hate her dog what strong deodorants were for My hamster thought pick my nose that she was rotten to the core The blood test showed play "Go Fish" that I would upchuck on the floor Her rabbi said salivate She said to me [9]; But who'd have thought she'd [10] [11]; 9. 10. 11. our love would never die run off with my best friend there was no other guy wind up in my Edsel man wasn't meant to fly boogie on a surfboard that Nixon didn't lie yodel on "The Gong Show" her basset hound was shy sky dive with her dentist that Rolaids made her high turn green on her "WorkMate" she'd have a swiss on rye freak out with a robot she loved my one blue eye blast off with no clothes on her brother's name was Hy make it at her health club she liked "Spy vs. Spy" black out in a Maytag that birthdays made her cry bobsled with her guru she couldn't stand my tie grovel while in labour [12] goodbye. 12. You'd think at least that she'd have said I never had the chance to say She told her fat friend Grace to say I now can kiss my credit cards I guess I was too smashed to say I watched her melt away and sobbed She fell beneath the wheels and cried She sent a hired thug to say She freaked out on the lawn and screamed I pushed her off the bridge and waved But that's the way that pygmies say She sealed me in the vault and smirked 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EliasMooseblaster Posted November 2, 2018 Share Posted November 2, 2018 Another instructive example: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nicko Posted November 2, 2018 Share Posted November 2, 2018 Personally I think when writing lyrics I dont think rhyme is that important, and there are some awful lyrics that seem to have been written just to get a rhyme (George Ezras Shotgun, Oasis' She's Electric), whereas its perfectly OK to have prcatically no Rhyme except repeated phrases: Elbow's Grounds for Divorce Mondays is for drinking to the seldom seen kid I've been working on a cocktail called "Grounds For Divorce", whoa Polishing a compass that I hold in my sleep, whoa Doubt comes in on sticks, but then he kicks like a horse, whoa There's a Chinese cigarette case and the rest you can keep And the rest you can keep And the rest you can keep There's a hole in my neighbourhood Down which of late I cannot help but fall There's a hole in my neighbourhood Down which of late I cannot help but fall Mondays is for drinking to the seldom seen kid (Ooh, ooh) There's this whispering of jokers doing "Flesh by the Pound" To a chorus of supposes from the little town whores There'll be twisted karaoke at the Aniseed Lounge And I'd bring you further roses but it does you no good And it does me no good And it does you no good There's a hole in my neighborhood Down which of late I cannot help but fall There's a hole in my neighborhood Down which of late I cannot help but fall There's a hole in my neighborhood Down which of late I cannot help but fall Someday we'll be drinking with the seldom seen kid (Ooh, ooh) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PaulWarning Posted November 2, 2018 Share Posted November 2, 2018 26 minutes ago, Nicko said: Personally I think when writing lyrics I dont think rhyme is that important, and there are some awful lyrics that seem to have been written just to get a rhyme this is very true, I always think of Macca's "my love don't give me presents, but I know that she's no peasant" as a perfect example of this, but get it right and a rhyme is better than a non rhyme. If there was a template for writing good lyrics everybody would be doing it Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RonMac Posted November 2, 2018 Share Posted November 2, 2018 I'm a firm believer in planting a seed first. ... Maybe it's a phrase, maybe just a word. But plant that first in your brain and forget about it. ... If it's good it'll come back again and again. ... Try not to get fixated in rhymes. ... The moon/june/swoon tune. You can always do that later when you're cleaning it up. ... Editing is a big part of writing. ... I wrote a book and the editing was the most painful part. ... Bob Dylan was asked where his early songs came from, Watchtower, Highway 61, etc, and he had no idea and said he could never write like that again. ... I like to write story songs so they have a beginning, a middle and an end. Then you know it's over. ... Study songs you like and try to figure out why they appeal to you. ... Writing is a commitment. Work at it and you'll be good. ... 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nicko Posted November 2, 2018 Share Posted November 2, 2018 3 minutes ago, PaulWarning said: this is very true, I always think of Macca's "my love don't give me presents, but I know that she's no peasant" as a perfect example of this, but get it right and a rhyme is better than a non rhyme. If there was a template for writing good lyrics everybody would be doing it I couldn't agree more Billy Bragg has a great way with unexpected rhymes: In the end it took me a dictionary To find out the meaning of unrequited While she was giving herself for free At a party to which I was never invited The point I was making is phrasing is more important that forcing a word to fit just because it rhymes. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RonMac Posted November 2, 2018 Share Posted November 2, 2018 (edited) 15 hours ago, lozkerr said: "While they picture me as I post a letter saying where I went today" ... This is a very good line and should be the start of that verse. ... And maybe just "Picture me, posting a letter of where we went today. ... "Where we went" is a strong coupling. The listener would want to know where? ... "I went" sounds a little love-sick, like to miss someone. ... There are mental images attached to pairings. ... "Picture me posting a letter of where we went today. The park, the zoo, on the patio sat a table for two." ... At this point it could go either way, you could continue discribing your day but, maybe the day you are discribing is only in your head because that other person didn't show up. But, you still discribe this great day you had. "When the waiter asked, I had nothing to say. ................ (and) you" ... That completes the rhyme of today-say and two-you. Quote 🙂 Edited November 2, 2018 by RonMac Tried to fix 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Barking Spiders Posted November 2, 2018 Share Posted November 2, 2018 Just think up any old ballcocks as a euphemism for coitus etc and the job's done 👍. Phrases like 'love rocket', 'love pump' , 'putting my log in your fireplace', 'squeeze my lemon' , 'shoot to thrill' etc are handy to have Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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