Just how important is buffet access at wedding/party/function gigs?!?

[magee]

This is all very posh. I play pubs not functions or weddings. The only time I've been fed was at a rough pub in Linwood (struggling, de-industrialised place outside Glasgow) where it was a teenager's funeral. Halfway through the night they put a board over the pool table and covered it in boxes from the chip shop - sausages, random kebab meat, spare ribs, pizza and about half a ton of chips. They told us to tuck in and we did. Second set was snoozy and greasy, but we were happy. 

Later that night two middle aged women started knocking lumps out of each other. We just played on, and loaded out later through a haze of blue lights - the police had the place surrounded as a precaution at chucking-out time. 

 

[Muzz]

15 minutes ago, EMG456 said:

Any function bands I've played in and there have been many, the perceived success of the evening is generally directly related to the quality of the buffet!

This. The next day, when my other/better half says 'How was the gig?', the first thing I mention is the food... 😀

[casapete]

5 minutes ago, Muzz said:

This. The next day, when my other/better half says 'How was the gig?', the first thing I mention is the food... 😀

Ha, remember doing the same when I was in a function band.

We used to quite enjoy it when the booker gave us money to go and source our own food rather than have to eat at the event. Pretty much their way of saying they didn’t want musicians being seen mingling with their guests I think! Over the years I’ve had some spectacular meals provided on gigs though, with memorable ones being a 7 course meal for band members and their partners every New Years Eve at a Gala Dance in Scarborough, as well as a great hotel room being part of the deal. Also the best steak I’ve ever eaten at a castle in Ireland whilst playing at a wedding there, and the most amazing breakfasts (including Champagne!) at a five star hotel in Majorca when performing at a corporate event there. Strangely, at the most upmarket gigs we did in London I don’t recall being that well fed. Probably thought all us Northern blokes wanted chips with everything.....😄

[spike]

I used to love buffets when I played in a function band. Best meal I had was a full sit down Christmas dinner at RAF Benson officers mess, worst buffet ever was just raw vegetables and dips at a 25th anniversary in Luton.   

[bassace]

Always be very nice to the caterers/waitresses and it’ll pay dividends in the form of good food.

Best buffet? We played at a Christmas party put on by a mega hotelier. He had top waiters from most of his hotels just serving the buffet. We went up and the guitarist exclaimed ‘have you seen the raffle, guys?’ Fool, that was the buffet.

Going home, I slid the car off the road. It was that good.

[Graham]

Love the buffet at a wedding or party, when they've got outside caterers doing curry it tends to be particularly good

[fretmeister]

I did some table magic at an awards thing and in the green room I was given a full set of the same meal that the guests got.

 

That was nice of them! It paid really well too.

[Guest MoJo]

It's the only reason I do Wedding gigs

[Woodinblack]

7 hours ago, BigRedX said:

If you have dietary requirements it is always best to bring your own food.

I've been a guest at functions where the "vegan" option was a plate of limp undressed salad leaves.

I have been to restaurants where it isn't much better.

After enquiring before we sat down of the staff in a local 'restaurant' if they did gluten free vegan buns for a burger they were offering, and been told they did, it turned out they could do vegan and gluten free, but not at the same time. 

[stingrayPete1977]

Our guitarist used to work most Sundays after he got divorced, if we played a function on a Saturday or any day for that matter really he used to take a packed lunch from the buffet, he even had a roll of tin foil in his kit bag! 

From every venue he did this he took a plate and another plate on top then wrapped it all in foil, in the end he had to start throwing the plates away as his cupboards were too full at home. 

If there was a hog roast he'd wrap two full buns in his foil and put them in the back of his Fender Twin to keep warm for after the gig. 

He even slept for free at the hotel one night as they used to give us a room key to the nearest room to the function room as a store for empty cases etc! 

[Passinwind]

One of the toniest gigs I ever played was a 50th wedding anniversary party at a very posh cliff side hotel overlooking the Columbia River. The "host" wanted to sing a set and insisted that only I could play bass, which was problematic since I was a dep in that band. No problem; he hired the other guy too, for full wage, and we split the night. I had to scramble to find the right clothes but it worked.

So when we got there the rules were set out: band eats outside, cold processed cheese product on white bread. Don't go near the appetizers or the seated and served food spread. Stay away from the good wine. And whatever you do, don't engage with the  lovely couple's daughter -- poor dear is recently divorced and tres triste. Plus the usual show up very early, set up, and wait a few hours before starting. Just play the charts, minimal improv or soloing. Above all else, make the host look good, it's all about him.

Naturally it played out a bit differently. The maitre d' was an old friend and he came by personally with a tray of bacon wrapped scallops and  offered anything else we fancied as long as it fit on an appetizer tray . He then broke out the very nice private reserve Cab, maybe a little too gleefully. I played a quote from Smoke On The Water during Autumn Leaves, and managed to offload almost the entire host's set to the other bassist, who was just bored to tears and happy to have something to do. And of course I had a long conversation with the daughter during that set, who was quite beautiful, a very intelligent MD, and anything but a sad panda. Would to be single again! At the end of the night the blessed couple came by to personally thank me for taking care of their daughter and adding a little color to a rather staid evening. Predictably, the host got bombed and never noticed any of our shenanigans. I think this all fits into "don't try this at home", but I've always despised playing weddings and function gigs, and of course I already had a dep onsite if needed.

 

[Raslee]

Second set fatigue if it’s a cheapskate beige buffet 😴

[atsampson]

"Feed The Band?" is on our booker's checklist. I've never had a gig that was memorable for how much we got paid (sadly) but several that have been memorable for how good the food was!

Echoing @magee's comment above, one of these was in a small town just outside Glasgow where catering was done by the local chip shop - who appeared at half time with a six-foot-high stack of pizza boxes containing apparently infinite quantities of everything that it's humanly possible to deep-fry...

[Trueno]

1 hour ago, spike said:

I used to love buffets when I played in a function band. Best meal I had was a full sit down Christmas dinner at RAF Benson officers mess, worst buffet ever was just raw vegetables and dips at a 25th anniversary in Luton.   

We were always looked after at RAF bases.

Anyway... nowadays I only eat blue M&Ms.

[Mickeyboro]

A band I was in used to take Tupperware containers to hoover up what was left at the end of the night. 

At the other extreme, in 1981 I was at a photo shoot for Women’s Own magazine - mock ye not, the fan mail I got was unprecedented. It was a ‘how to throw a Charles and Di street party’ feature. Their best cooks prepared the food and the assembled scouts and guys devoured it like locusts as we, the jazz band, played on...

Edited November 28, 2018 by Mickeyboro

[mingsta]

Some funny stories going on right here. But it's good to see that we are generally well taken care of and that love of a good buffet is universal!!! 

But a word of caution, don't let the buffet cause you to forget yourselves and what you are there for... which is to be the personal minions to your singer!

We did a 50th anniversary a few weeks ago where our singer did a crooner set to backing tracks as a freebie/warm up. He likes to have us all hovering around him in these situations, feeding him ice water, making micro adjustments to the desk/laptop, keeping an eye on time and general waiting at his beck and call. Mid way through his set, the buffet arrived and we all disappeared to fill our boots. It was only 30 mins later that he showed up at the buffet fuming and we realised we'd all abandoned him. We felt pretty bad. But his diva strop evaporated as soon as he had a nice warm plate in his hands too... 

[casapete]

4 hours ago, Trueno said:

We were always looked after at RAF bases.

We did gigs for all the Forces, and were always looked after really well. Reckon their thinking was that copious food and drink kept us onside for long evenings, and they were usually right! Our band, and in particular the brass section, could put away frightening amounts of food and drink and yet still play fine afterwards. I gradually developed this skill, but as I've got older I find that I can't hack it so much now. My current band (playing theatres) rarely get food supplied, although we did have a small buffet at a venue recently which was greatly appreciated as it meant we didn't have to go out and track down some food. ( Depending on where we are / how much time we have, this can mean the inevitable Wetherspoons etc, which quickly gets tedious ).

[Gareth Hughes]

15 hours ago, Bigwan said:

@Gareth Hughes

How important?!?!?!?!? As the song said - 'If you have to ask, you'll never know'. Yes, I am that bass player that stands BEFORE the bride at the buffet.

[chris_b]

On 27/11/2018 at 23:25, mingsta said:

To me, it's everything.

We were given our own table when we played at a charity function at the RAC Club down in Epsom. We got the same 5 star food as the paying guests. Forget kebabs I want a Michelin star chief on all our gigs now.

[scalpy]

I used to bass for a Ceilidh band and there was a set of clients that insisted, in the Scottish tradition apparently, that the band ate first. A meal I remember with particular fondness is Eastor Castle banquet hall, all to ourselves, roast pork with sweetbreads and all the trimmings. Delicious!

[EBS_freak]

I'm probably on my own here... but I always think that the focus that function bands place on food is very rude. Weddings are very expensive affairs and paying for bands to have a meal when you've already paid for the band is very presumptuous of the band.

I can't think of any other job where there's such demands on being fed. If you are a tradesman for example and working on site all day, you make provisions for food. You don't go to your employer and demand food.

I see it like this, if there's no plans for food set out, take your own. If you are invited to partake in the buffet, then good - but only when told to... never before the guests unless told to do so. I've played with some miserable bands that just shock me when it comes to their expectations and "right" to food to the point where they cause a scene. It particularly annoys me when bands visibly baulk when presented with a tray of sandwiches. If you want a hot meal, get one on the way to the gig.

Early conversations with the clients way before the events can avoid awkwardness - such as asking if there's opportunity to get food at the facilities in advance, will usually avoid embarrassment and win you friends. I know a lot of bands put it into contracts... but that doesn't mean a great deal. And you aren't going to win any friends at a wedding if you start talking food and "in the contract".

In some cases, you may actually win for being polite - I remember a wedding where we asked in advance about the food situation and when we got there, there was an envelope waiting for us - "Sorry, there's no space for you guys to eat anywhere and the post breakfast buffet is only finger food, so please find some cash enclosed to get yourself into town and get some food before showtime." - The contents of the envelope worked out to be £30 a head.

Edited November 29, 2018 by EBS_freak

[casapete]

19 hours ago, casapete said:

We used to quite enjoy it when the booker gave us money to go and source our own food rather than have to eat at the event. Pretty much their way of saying they didn’t want musicians being seen mingling with their guests I think!

 

6 minutes ago, EBS_freak said:

In some cases, you may actually win for being polite - I remember a wedding where we asked in advance about the food situation and when we got there, there was an envelope waiting for us - "Sorry, there's no space for you guys to eat anywhere and the post breakfast buffet is only finger food, so please find some cash enclosed to get yourself into town and get some food before showtime." - The contents of the envelope worked out to be £30 a head.

Absolutely - politeness is always the best policy. Regarding sourcing our own food, think our personal best was £25 a man, so you did well! Mind you, IIRC most of our band got a takeaway and spent the rest on beer......😋

[EBS_freak]

You can add to my pet peeves bands that abuse a free bar.

[ambient]

20 hours ago, Muzz said:

We have a picky eater in our function band - the drummer is Italian, and has very forthright opinions about English food. Like all picky eaters, we just shrug and ignore him... 🙂

For a wedding gig, we have it in our contract that we are fed and have one drink, and I don't recall any client who has objected. As for the order of buffet access, if the client wants us to go on immediately after the buffet, we politely request we get an early run at the buffet so we're done in time. Again, we've never been refused.

The hardest part is maintaining a facial expression of delight when the fifth client in a row announces proudly "We've got a hog roast!" Oh goody... 😕🙂

 

You mean he doesn't like the cheese and pineapple or cold greasy sausages on cocktail sticks.

[stingrayPete1977]

1 hour ago, EBS_freak said:

The contents of the envelope worked out to be £30 a head.

That's about what our band gets for the actual gig, lol.