Just how important is buffet access at wedding/party/function gigs?!?

[EBS_freak]

24 minutes ago, stingrayPete1977 said:

That's about what our band gets for the actual gig, lol. 

Man, I need to tell you about this gig I did on Tues in London. Pie tonight.

[EliasMooseblaster]

I know myself well enough to be aware that I'll feel "hangry" if I have to go hungry. It's always good to know in advance whether I'm going to have to feed myself - and as I don't often play functions, I tend to be left to my own devices in that respect.

I think the most awkward position I've found myself in was when the food was promised in place of a fee. Not a function, but a gig where all the bands involved were friends of each other, and the band organising it had very proudly announced that the venue would pay the bands for providing an evening's entertainment. Which was just as well, because as the date drew nearer, I had just enough money left to pay the rent for the month and get myself and my gear to the venue.

As the last few days ticked away, the offer of money had been revised down to "the musicians can eat for free" - apparently this place had a very good Indian buffet. If they hadn't all been friends, I would have insisted that I couldn't do this without being paid; at least with this new arrangement, there was the promise of a decent meal. Perhaps if I could even line my guitar case with samosas and naan bread to keep me going for a couple of days afterwards.

Somehow, in the couple of days between this disappointment and the soundcheck, the other band's spectacularly inept negotiating skills had brought our recompense down yet further. If we wanted anything from the buffet, they told me, we had to pay like everybody else. Or, in other words, we were getting literally nothing for playing this gig.

The temptation to walk was palpable - overwhelming, even. It would have left the band I was playing for with no bassist, and the event in question with no bass amp, but I was livid. Not to mention quite hangry. But I didn't. I had enough change in my back pocket to get a sugary drink from a nearby shop and keep myself going, without causing a scene or swearing at anyone.

(And even after all that, they somehow talked me into operating the f***ing mixing desk after nobody else could work out how to use it...)

[Muzz]

2 hours ago, ambient said:

You mean he doesn't like the cheese and pineapple or cold greasy sausages on cocktail sticks.

You name it, he doesn't like it...and we've played some very very well-catered weddings...the last but one we played was at a very nice hotel somewhere in Leicestershire, and the food was from the restaurant...I thought lobster and truffle ravioli might raise an eyebrow, but nope...

[ambient]

2 minutes ago, Muzz said:

You name it, he doesn't like it...and we've played some very very well-catered weddings...the last but one we played was at a very nice hotel somewhere in Leicestershire, and the food was from the restaurant...I thought lobster and truffle ravioli might raise an eyebrow, but nope...

I was at uni with an Italian guy who was aghast the first time he witnessed someone making a cup of instant coffee.

[Muzz]

We went over to his home town in Italy (Lecce)  last year to do some gigs, and I'll never forget the look of head-shaking disappointment on his face when I suggested one afternoon we pop into McDonalds for a quick bite...we didn't go in... 😕🙂

[King Tut]

On 28/11/2018 at 15:52, magee said:

This is all very posh. I play pubs not functions or weddings. The only time I've been fed was at a rough pub in Linwood (struggling, de-industrialised place outside Glasgow) where it was a teenager's funeral. Halfway through the night they put a board over the pool table and covered it in boxes from the chip shop - sausages, random kebab meat, spare ribs, pizza and about half a ton of chips. They told us to tuck in and we did. Second set was snoozy and greasy, but we were happy. 

Later that night two middle aged women started knocking lumps out of each other. We just played on, and loaded out later through a haze of blue lights - the police had the place surrounded as a precaution at chucking-out time. 

 

Proper rock n roll!

[Muzz]

1 minute ago, King Tut said:

Proper rock n roll!

Yep: the best bit being 'We just played on...' 😀

[King Tut]

1 minute ago, Muzz said:

Yep: the best bit being 'We just played on...' 😀

I remember it kicking off at a gig in Kettering while we were playing 'Riders on the Storm' . . . . play on lads - perfect!

[Delberthot]

Depending on whether or not it's an agency gig it's sometimes in the contract but the first thing we try to do before we've even brought anything inside is to chat to the bride & groom to let them know that they can relax knowing that the evening's entertainment is sorted etc.

This not only puts their minds at ease but also gives them the opportunity to invite us to beast into the buffet later on

I think last year was to be the year of the hog roast. This year has been the year of cheese. Luckily I love cheese and there have been many wedding cakes made out of various cheeses

Unfortunately the traditional fruit wedding cake seems to have vanished which is a shame I considered myself to be quite a connoisseur of them

Coffee varies from tasty to pretty ropey

We've never had any issues with joining in the buffet queue with the other guests as we always like to have a laugh with them in the queue so they're happy for us to be firing into the potted hough and vol au vents or whatever that night's culinary treats are

Edited November 29, 2018 by Delberthot

[Count Bassy]

14 hours ago, Delberthot said:

Coffee varies from tasty to pretty ropey 

Not so much at Giogs, but I'm amazed how many pretty decent restuarants follow up a good meal with really crap coffee that tastes like mud (well it was only ground only 10 minutes ago, sir)

[magee]

20 hours ago, King Tut said:

Proper rock n roll!

The atmosphere was febrile and we thought something was going to kick off. So the singer and I bet each oother the petrol money home on whether there was going to be an actual punch up or not (rules: actual fists had to be thrown, pushing and shoving didn't count; it had to be inside the pub, the car park didn't count; it had to be during one of our sets). 

The singer took the 'there will be fisticuffs' side of the wager. So when the action started he turned round to me, didn't skip a beat mid-line, and made a fist-pump gesture of gleeful triumph. He'd earned it, though I did think the timing was a bit inflammatory, but nobody noticed. 

[knicknack]

On 29/11/2018 at 11:44, EBS_freak said:

I'm probably on my own here... but I always think that the focus that function bands place on food is very rude. Weddings are very expensive affairs and paying for bands to have a meal when you've already paid for the band is very presumptuous of the band.

I can't think of any other job where there's such demands on being fed. If you are a tradesman for example and working on site all day, you make provisions for food. You don't go to your employer and demand food.

I see it like this, if there's no plans for food set out, take your own. If you are invited to partake in the buffet, then good - but only when told to... never before the guests unless told to do so. I've played with some miserable bands that just shock me when it comes to their expectations and "right" to food to the point where they cause a scene. It particularly annoys me when bands visibly baulk when presented with a tray of sandwiches. If you want a hot meal, get one on the way to the gig.

Early conversations with the clients way before the events can avoid awkwardness - such as asking if there's opportunity to get food at the facilities in advance, will usually avoid embarrassment and win you friends. I know a lot of bands put it into contracts... but that doesn't mean a great deal. And you aren't going to win any friends at a wedding if you start talking food and "in the contract".

In some cases, you may actually win for being polite - I remember a wedding where we asked in advance about the food situation and when we got there, there was an envelope waiting for us - "Sorry, there's no space for you guys to eat anywhere and the post breakfast buffet is only finger food, so please find some cash enclosed to get yourself into town and get some food before showtime." - The contents of the envelope worked out to be £30 a head.

Fully agree with this... I run my own band in Devon and really get wound up when the guys start pushing in or being demanding. In our contract there's a 'Things that help us but are not demands' section that allows the clients to let us know if we're being fed, watered and green roomed, no pressure. Means we can plan in advance, and there's no excuse for anyone to arrive and whine about being hungry. Usually we're fully invited to all, in which case it's just about behaving respectfully. Have done plenty of dep gigs where I feel uncomfortable about the way the band are acting towards the client on this subject, especially when the demands are super picky for peoples requirements!

[Japhet]

When I played in a functions band (many years ago) we were always looked after apart from one quite astonishing incident. We went down to the South coast to play a function for an obscenely wealthy individual. He had personaally finance the UK entry in the Americas Cup ocean going yacht race one year - yes, that wealthy! We'd driven a long way and it was a long day. We were given a plate of cheese sandwiches (1 each) and that a bottle of beer was £2. We were surrounded by toffs spraying each other with bottles of Bollinger and throwing platefuls of lobster in the bin. Quite bizarre really. We'd charged a decent but not extortionate fee but we really were made to feel like the hired help. One of those things you often wonder if it really happened - but it did.

[paul_c2]

Maybe the right thing to do, would be to ensure that its made clear at the time of booking (presumably with a fee) if the deal includes/excludes a proper buffet/meal (or maybe sandwiches etc). I've been on jobs where buffet is included; and where sandwiches were provided instead, but I've always know beforehand.

[Muzz]

Exactly - if it's in the contract, everyone knows waaaayyyy upfront, so it's done professionally, and no-one has to tug a forelock to get fed 🙂

[paul_c2]

31 minutes ago, Muzz said:

 no-one has to tug a forelock to get fed 🙂

If that's the deal, then I'd want an extra £10!!!!

 

 

 

 

 

Okay, £5

[gjones]

I hate wedding gigs but have reluctantly played a few.

 

I remember once turning up at the venue, to find out that it was the estate of the groom's father (filthy rich banker). We went up the grand steps to the front door, to be told by the housekeeper, who opened it, to go around to the 'Tradesman's Entrance'.

We were told that we would be having our tea with the housekeeper, groundsman, cook and various maids, in the kitchen of the big house. I remember it well, it was stovies and a cup of tea (look up stovies if you aren't Scottish).

The guests and the bride and groom were all obnoxiously, brash, filthy rich and privileged. Eventually, after one pished, braying, stockbroker type,  in the obligatory red braces, clicked his fingers at us one too many times, while asking us to 'play a f***king fast one!',  or ' Play a f**king slow one', we went on strike.

Packed our gear up and headed off, but not before we grabbed our cheque from daddy. Who was lying pished in his bed.

I have no problem with the seriously posh, they usually have very good manners, and are usually quite poor (distressed gentry) but the nouveau riche bring out the Bolshevik in me.

[gjones]

48 minutes ago, Japhet said:

When I played in a functions band (many years ago) we were always looked after apart from one quite astonishing incident. We went down to the South coast to play a function for an obscenely wealthy individual. He had personaally finance the UK entry in the Americas Cup ocean going yacht race one year - yes, that wealthy! We'd driven a long way and it was a long day. We were given a plate of cheese sandwiches (1 each) and that a bottle of beer was £2. We were surrounded by toffs spraying each other with bottles of Bollinger and throwing platefuls of lobster in the bin. Quite bizarre really. We'd charged a decent but not extortionate fee but we really were made to feel like the hired help. One of those things you often wonder if it really happened - but it did.

I know the feeling....

[Trueno]

I know I'm getting off the subject here, but I was once in a functions band that played in what seemed like a castle. We played in a massive baronial hall and got changed in the billiards room. I remember one of the women there saying in a very posh and too loud voice: I mean, look at them... they're no better than animals. We were a strange mixture at the time... a couple of guys on beneits, a car salesman, a Tory councillor at a large city council, a church organist and me (an accountant).

on topic... I think we got fed there, though.

Edit: I missed someone out. It was the drummer... he was... erm... a drummer.

Edited November 30, 2018 by Trueno

[mingsta]

3 hours ago, Trueno said:

I know I'm getting off the subject here, but I was once in a functions band that played in what seemed like a castle. We played in a massive baronial hall and got changed in the billiards room. I remember one of the women there saying in a very posh and too loud voice: I mean, look at them... they're no better than animals. We were a strange mixture at the time... a couple of guys on beneits, a car salesman, a Tory councillor at a large city council, a church organist and me (an accountant).

on topic... I think we got fed there, though.

Edit: I missed someone out. It was the drummer... he was... erm... a drummer.

We've never been likened to animals, yet. But we did a wedding a few years ago at a posh stately home style venue where the guests were all aspiring upwardly mobile types in their mid 30s. They all had the usual shiny German motors parked out front and we overheard a few of the guests having a chuckle at us when we turned up in our armada of mad max style vehicles. 

Two of us are well paid professionals, but we're at that stage in our lives where we don't give a monkeys about having a flash car as long as it can hold 3 kids (real kids, not the singist and guitard) and a PA system, preferably both at the same time. 

We got well fed though! 

[Count Bassy]

1 hour ago, mingsta said:

We got well fed though! 

Probably felt sorry for you.

[josie]

Imho it's more about respect than food.

I've never (yet) played in a function band, but I've twice booked a band for a function - for my wedding in 1999, an excellent local pub covers band with the wonderful name of Gene Therapy and the Chromosomes, and for my 60th birthday party in 2015, Kyla Brox, and Virgil and the Accelerators. Both times I made it clear in advance that they would have as much to eat from the buffet as they wanted, and an open tab at the bar. For the first they only arrived to set up after the other guests had helped themselves, but there was plenty of everything left. For the second the musicians got first dibs. 

All were musicians I'd seen live and chatted to many times, and I'd booked them because I liked and respected them, but I'd have done the same for anyone I was prepared to book.  Musicians aren't servants, they (we?) are skilled professionals and should be treated as such. As I said to the buffet and bar staff on both occasions, "Musicians are important, and should be looked after." 

[EliasMooseblaster]

13 hours ago, josie said:

I've never (yet) played in a function band, but I've twice booked a band for a function - for my wedding in 1999, an excellent local pub covers band with the wonderful name of Gene Therapy and the Chromosomes, and for my 60th birthday party in 2015, Kyla Brox, and Virgil and the Accelerators.

Nice! I remember seeing Virgil and the Accelerators opening for Joanne Shaw Taylor...god, it must have quite a while ago now, as the latter had only just released her first album. But I remember them being good!

[mrtcat]

Food is always covered in our contact. It's not something we've ever specified needing just something our agents include as standard. On the night we're just grateful for anything and after endless hog roasts and beige buffets we are happiest with a plate of sarnies. 

Edited December 1, 2018 by mrtcat

[King Tut]

Tonight's before and after!