Whats the most ridiculous thing you have been asked for on stage?

[Krysbass]

Gigging as a 5-piece, all male 1980s covers band with a set list of well-known 80s songs to suit our line-up - then at one gig; along comes a request for anything by Kylie Minogue......?
 

 

 

[Geek99]

How about the wet patch in my bed ? That was one of hers ... possibly 

[Woodinblack]

40 minutes ago, Krysbass said:

Gigging as a 5-piece, all male 1980s covers band with a set list of well-known 80s songs to suit our line-up - then at one gig; along comes a request for anything by Kylie Minogue......?

If you are an 80s pop band (rather than say NWOBHM) it doesn't seem that much of a stretch request, she was around in the 80s

[ubit]

29 minutes ago, Woodinblack said:

If you are an 80s pop band (rather than say NWOBHM) it doesn't seem that much of a stretch request, she was around in the 80s

Thats what I thought. No offence but Kylie was pretty big in the 80's.

[ubit]

I have actually being singing and playing bass and someone I vaguely knew came up and was like alright? Hows it going? What's doing? What are you up to? Im trying to carry on singing and I'm thinking are you serious mate?

[Muzz]

Change for a fiver. He’d already asked both the singer and guitarists. He was really disappointed when, amazingly, the drummer didn’t have change on him either...

[dmccombe7]

50 minutes ago, Muzz said:

Change for a fiver. He’d already asked both the singer and guitarists. He was really disappointed when, amazingly, the drummer didn’t have change on him either...

Did you have change ? 

Dave

[lownote]

On 07/05/2020 at 18:35, odysseus said:

My mate's girlfriend's mum asked me if I'd like to 'do her in the shower' at one gig about 25 years ago. I said 'no thanks'. I was about 24 and she looked like Olive from On The Buses.

It's so embarassing. When I was 24 I thought anyone over 30 was compost, no matter how well they scrubbed up. Chance would be a fine thing now I'm 65. 

[SH73]

We played an indoor gig , about four different bands back in the days. It was pure heavy metal in the late 80s. Some drunk punters got in the venue, and began asking for folk music. Our singer said that we don't know any but the next band, headliner would play some. 

[dmccombe7]

20 minutes ago, SH73 said:

We played an indoor gig , about four different bands back in the days. It was pure heavy metal in the late 80s. Some drunk punters got in the venue, and began asking for folk music. Our singer said that we don't know any but the next band, headliner would play some. 

Sneaky 

[paul_5]

On 10/05/2020 at 11:07, ubit said:

Thats what I thought. No offence but Kylie was pretty big in the 80's.

Really? She must have had a tough life, cos she’s only 5 foot 2 now!

[ubit]

7 minutes ago, paul_5 said:

Really? She must have had a tough life, cos she’s only 5 foot 2 now!

 

[uk_lefty]

On 19/01/2019 at 20:50, MacDaddy said:

I think the most ridiculous thing, is when punters try and ask the vocalist something, halfway through a song while the vocalist is singing.

That calls for the Jimmy Carr response: "I'm trying to work here. I don't come round your workplace and knock all the sailors' Cox out your mouth, do I?!" 

[Lfalex v1.1]

"The bassist's phone number"

"Turn down" (vocals only through PA...)

[ubit]

We once made the cardinal sin of leaving the PA turned on during our break at a wedding. We were alerted by the grooms head case sister ranting over the microphone about some girl that had hit her. She would have deserved it because she was absolutely fruit loops. We had to scramble up and get the mic turned down and then she ranted about that to us. Turn it up, I demand to be heard. It seemed an age before help arrived and escorted her out of the premises. What a mood killer!

[bassace]

A few things are coming back to me. ‘This is a small room so you’ll have to keep the tempo down’.

We did a very upmarket gig as a seven piece Dixieland band in about 2003. We had to park in the town car park and transfer all the gear to a shuttle bus which went up the hill to this house. There was a ‘performers’ village’ in the grounds where all sorts were holed up. People walking around on stilts, fancy dress, etc. And a bossy woman with a clipboard. Things were getting all behind timetable, bossy woman getting more and more frazzled and we were missing our slot. So there was a bit of a discussion between the boss and bossy woman. Boss comes back, ‘ The bad news is we go on later and finish half hour after contract finish time. The good news is we each get a hundred quid extra. 

[mcnach]

17 hours ago, bassace said:

A few things are coming back to me. ‘This is a small room so you’ll have to keep the tempo down’.

We did a very upmarket gig as a seven piece Dixieland band in about 2003. We had to park in the town car park and transfer all the gear to a shuttle bus which went up the hill to this house. There was a ‘performers’ village’ in the grounds where all sorts were holed up. People walking around on stilts, fancy dress, etc. And a bossy woman with a clipboard. Things were getting all behind timetable, bossy woman getting more and more frazzled and we were missing our slot. So there was a bit of a discussion between the boss and bossy woman. Boss comes back, ‘ The bad news is we go on later and finish half hour after contract finish time. The good news is we each get a hundred quid extra. 

 

I would love for all my gigs to go like that, where do I sign???

 

I'm talking about the extra £100. I'm not a stranger to finishing later than planned, but it would generally be £100 to share, not per person... and I tend to play in bands with anything between 6-10 members, so yeah, the extra £10-15 are really really useful. I might splash on the way back and buy a hot chocolate with EXTRA cream on top and marshmallows on some road services stop...

 

[bassace]

15 minutes ago, mcnach said:

 

I would love for all my gigs to go like that, where do I sign???

 

I'm talking about the extra £100. I'm not a stranger to finishing later than planned, but it would generally be £100 to share, not per person... and I tend to play in bands with anything between 6-10 members, so yeah, the extra £10-15 are really really useful. I might splash on the way back and buy a hot chocolate with EXTRA cream on top and marshmallows on some road services stop...

 

Oh, that’s very much the exception, as you would imagine. Although the boss had done quite a bit of TV etc he hadn’t quite made the big time in the jazz world - does anyone? But he still had the odd delusion of grandeur and wasn’t backward in coming forward. I remember doing a Dutch jazz festival with a different band where we slept on the floor of a pub, all seven of us with four inches space between each sleeping bag. A year later I went over with the aforementioned and stayed in the best hotel in the city, one en-suite room to each. All the foreign tours were like that. It was a great ride.

[gjones]

Playing a gig in a bar next to BBC studio in Edinburgh, during The International Television Festival, sometime in the 90s. TV bigwigs all around us one of them comes up and asks to sing Eric Clapton's Cocaine (I suspect it was to be sung ironically). We told him to sling his hook and he spoke these classic words in response, 'Mark my words, you shall never, ever play on London Weekend Television, not while I am in charge!', and walked away.

And Guess what? .........we never did. 

[FinnDave]

1 hour ago, gjones said:

Playing a gig in a bar next to BBC studio in Edinburgh, during The International Television Festival, sometime in the 90s. TV bigwigs all around us one of them comes up and asks to sing Eric Clapton's Cocaine (I suspect it was to be sung ironically). We told him to sling his hook and he spoke these classic words in response, 'Mark my words, you shall never, ever play on London Weekend Television, not while I am in charge!', and walked away.

And Guess what? .........we never did. 

Should have told him you didn't know it, only the JJ Cale song of the same name. That's enough to confuse most of them!

[mcnach]

2 hours ago, bassace said:

Oh, that’s very much the exception, as you would imagine. Although the boss had done quite a bit of TV etc he hadn’t quite made the big time in the jazz world - does anyone? But he still had the odd delusion of grandeur and wasn’t backward in coming forward. I remember doing a Dutch jazz festival with a different band where we slept on the floor of a pub, all seven of us with four inches space between each sleeping bag. A year later I went over with the aforementioned and stayed in the best hotel in the city, one en-suite room to each. All the foreign tours were like that. It was a great ride.

 

Oh the glamour, eh?

 

[Japhet]

At a functions gig

Irish Woman; Play Brown Eyed Girl.

Singer; Sorry, it's not on our set list.

2 minutes later

Irish Woman; Play Brown Eyed Girl!!

Singer; Sorry, we'd need to learn it.

2 minutes later;

Irish Woman yelling; Play Brown Eyed Girl fof f**ks sake!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Singer; F**k off you headcase!

 

[MattW]

Playing in an original blues band in a local pub last year with a gritty female vocalist - think female Howlin' Wolf - and a punter asked if we could play some Kylie!?!

Singer was taken back she just didn't know what to say, so I chipped in with "You should be so lucky..."! 😁

[Muzz]

On 15/05/2020 at 17:38, bassace said:

‘This is a small room so you’ll have to keep the tempo down’.

That's fantastic in every way... 😁

[Muzz]

On 16/05/2020 at 19:27, Japhet said:

At a functions gig

Irish Woman; Play Brown Eyed Girl.

Singer; Sorry, it's not on our set list.

2 minutes later

Irish Woman; Play Brown Eyed Girl!!

Singer; Sorry, we'd need to learn it.

2 minutes later;

Irish Woman yelling; Play Brown Eyed Girl fof f**ks sake!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Singer; F**k off you headcase!

 

I've mentioned this before, but we play a bit of Irish stuff on a regular gig in an Irish pub, and we have the following conversation a lot:

Punter: 'Play 'The Black Velvet Band*' lads...

Me: Sorry, we don't know it

Punter: Ahhhh, you do...

Me: No, we don't

Punter: Sure, you do: it goes 'Tah diddle day-ay-trah-la...'

Me: Nope, sorry; we don't know it...

Punter: You dooooo...

The singist came up with the best response to this unending cycle: 'We'll play it at the end if we have the time'

We never have the time...

 

* Substitute obscure/inappropriate Irish tune here, although that one is particularly awkward anyway: it's a right old dirge, and we usually get asked for it as the place is bouncing...