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Whats the most ridiculous thing you have been asked for on stage?


ubit

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3 minutes ago, Muzz said:

I've mentioned this before, but we play a bit of Irish stuff on a regular gig in an Irish pub, and we have the following conversation a lot:

Punter: 'Play 'The Black Velvet Band*' lads...

Me: Sorry, we don't know it

Punter: Ahhhh, you do...

Me: No, we don't

Punter: Sure, you do: it goes 'Tah diddle day-ay-trah-la...'

Me: Nope, sorry; we don't know it...

Punter: You dooooo...

The singist came up with the best response to this unending cycle: 'We'll play it at the end if we have the time'

We never have the time...

 

* Substitute obscure/inappropriate Irish tune here, although that one is particularly awkward anyway: it's a right old dirge, and we usually get asked for it as the place is bouncing...

Yeah and I have had people argue with me that we played it last week. I say no, we were not playing here last week. That wasn't us. Yes you were etc. You cannot argue with drunk people. They think you are not playing it because you don't want to.

We once had a guy say to us switch off your machine and let's hear what you can play like live. It was a drum machine. I said we are playing live mate but he wasn't convinced. I suppose that was a bit of an off handed compliment in a way.

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we play a gig twice a year where an old woman comes in about half way through the first set and asks for Sex on Fire, we just tell her she's missed it and get here at the start next time, she never does, it's got to be a standing joke now.

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1 minute ago, PaulWarning said:

we play a gig twice a year where an old woman comes in about half way through the first set and asks for Sex on Fire, we just tell her she's missed it and get here at the start next time, she never does, it's got to be a standing joke now.

We have used that one and they still say play it again then. You just can't win. One group of girls asked us to play whisky in the jar soon because they were just going somewhere else. How to endear yourself to the band!

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16 minutes ago, ubit said:

We once had a guy say to us switch off your machine and let's hear what you can play like live.

Ha ha - many years ago I had a run of gigs with a Welsh comedy showband doing cabaret around the clubs.

The band used to play the same half a bar over and over again at the end of one number to imitate a stuck record, and then the singer would produce a comedy sized inflatable hammer and whack it down on the bass amp, at which point we'd abruptly stop playing.  On numerous occasions punters would laugh and jeer - but I suspect not because the idea was ridiculous and funny, but because they genuinely thought we were miming to a record.

Maybe they weren't the sharpest tools in the box, mind you. :/

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4 minutes ago, ubit said:

 One group of girls asked us to play whisky in the jar soon because they were just going somewhere else. How to endear yourself to the band!

yeah we've had that one as well, really gypsy's kisses the band off

edit, Gypsy's instead of p i s s e s?

Edited by PaulWarning
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Just now, musicbassman said:

because they genuinely thought we were miming to a record.

I was in a bar once when a band were on and everyone in my company was raving about how good they were. I pointed out that apart from the acoustic guitar and vocal it was all sampled. Some people have no clue. 

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3 minutes ago, PaulWarning said:

yeah we've had that one as well, really gypsy's kisses the band off

edit, Gypsy's instead of p i s s e s?

Yeah I guessed that one mate 😂

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We were doing a gig once with a nice girl singer. The woman who booked us asked if she could borrow the mic. To use in the next door room. We told her it was set up in this room  ‘But it’s a radio mic’ she said triumphantly. But the amp/speakers are in this room, we explained patiently.

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1 hour ago, bassace said:

We were doing a gig once with a nice girl singer. The woman who booked us asked if she could borrow the mic. To use in the next door room. We told her it was set up in this room  ‘But it’s a radio mic’ she said triumphantly. But the amp/speakers are in this room, we explained patiently.

That reminds me of a pub gig I played when I was using my new wireless system. There was a social club directly opposite over the road. Halfway through our set, a woman arrived from said social club and shouted to us at the end of one number, "Whoever is using the wireless system, turn it off because you're ruining our bingo night!".

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3 hours ago, Muzz said:

I've mentioned this before, but we play a bit of Irish stuff on a regular gig in an Irish pub, and we have the following conversation a lot:

Punter: 'Play 'The Black Velvet Band*' lads...

Me: Sorry, we don't know it

Punter: Ahhhh, you do...

Me: No, we don't

Punter: Sure, you do: it goes 'Tah diddle day-ay-trah-la...'

Me: Nope, sorry; we don't know it...

Punter: You dooooo...

The singist came up with the best response to this unending cycle: 'We'll play it at the end if we have the time'

We never have the time...

 

* Substitute obscure/inappropriate Irish tune here, although that one is particularly awkward anyway: it's a right old dirge, and we usually get asked for it as the place is bouncing...

Yes, the old 'of course you know it ............it goes la la la la la la la.........'. I think they think we can just play whatever we hear in our heads (although some obviously can).

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3 hours ago, PaulWarning said:

we play a gig twice a year where an old woman comes in about half way through the first set and asks for Sex on Fire, we just tell her she's missed it and get here at the start next time, she never does, it's got to be a standing joke now.

I was depping once in a band with a notoriously outrageous front man and a woman came up and demanded Sex on Fire over the microphone. Tom, th frontman immediately responded with 'You get your knickers off and I'll see if I can find some matches'.

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