Flakes and Fantasists!

[stewblack]

27 minutes ago, Woodinblack said:

I am suspecting that maybe she might have had more to do with the writing of that than him.

And who would blame her with a bowel of porridge!

 

Yeah, the only genuinely funny bit was most likely a mistake

[lowregisterhead]

12 hours ago, lowregisterhead said:

Thanks for the reassurance - there's been a few times when I've thought we might be being a bit hard on him.

And yet, it gets murkier - today he WhatsApped us all again - he's only gone and got us a gig!! Still doesn't want to rehearse until 2 weeks before, though. It makes me wonder... was he keeping it to himself and planning to bring in some mates to do the deed until we forced his hand? Seems mighty convenient!

 

1 hour ago, uk_lefty said:

Jeez how much do your rehearsals cost if he is so out of pocket he needs a gig to cover it?

The princely sum of £12 a head for a 4-hour session. We're a 5-piece, and it's London prices, but it's a very nice studio. But I don't think it's the money, it's more the principal he objects to, that he shouldn't be putting in what he sees as 'so much effort' for a longer-term return. If he was note-perfect, I wouldn't mind so much, but he drops huge clangers at every gig.

[steve-bbb]

rocks up at rehearsal .... sorry not had a chance to learn that one yet

its a song ...it got lyrics .... it got melody... listen to it on your commute or whatever ...over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over  

GRRRRRRRR

its not like you're learning the drum or bass part is it ? 

am i being unduly harsh? personally i have this silly tape recorder memory thing going on and find it relatively easy to learn and memorise stuff, i guess some people, including singers, might indeed have the polar opposite? maybe? i dunno? JUST LEARN THE FKN SONG  🤣🤣🤣

 

 

[lowregisterhead]

1 hour ago, musicbassman said:

 

Well, you aroused my curiosity, so about 40 years after the event, I opened up the Big Book of Internets yesterday evening and after some digging I came across this.

He had an unusual name, so chances are this really is the very same guy, and it all sounds about right...... I rest my case.

Currently working on the A14 near Cambridge and cheating on my wife. I'm a pretend bodybuilder and claim to have competed at the highest level possible in this country although no one has actually seen proof of this. I love listening to music with a varied taste from u2 or anything guitar orientated through to Alfie Boe which my beautiful wife introduced me to as I had never heard of him before I met her. I love good food, good wine even though I don't drink cos I am an alcoholic. I'm a rubbish listeneras I believe what I have to say is way more important than anything you want to say but a bit shy as far as ladies are concerned, although i do try behind my wife's back. I think i'm romantic and quite possibly a bit of a knob head. I am a gypo, so will take everything of yours, show you no respect a compulsive lyer and I believe all women are second class citizens including my wife.
I am married to a beautiful woman who gives me her whole being. We have had a horrendous few years living in a caravan like a couple of skanky old pikey's in a field with no money. At one point we literally had a bowel of porridge between us for the day , honest truth!, we had no toilet and she had to do her business in a plastic bag. Sometimes I had to leave her for weeks on end with only the dogs to talk to to go and work. She has given up her whole life for me, her home her family and her friends and constantly reassures me that it will all be ok and we will get thro this. We are now in rented accommodation but even right here right now I have left her out in a village with no furniture , she is sitting on a cover on the floor and has no car or money. And I am up here trying to see other women whilst she is there with nothing. And I know she will not leave me even after doing this to her. What a great guy am I !!
By the way, my black hair is almost all grey now, I do have a child and I couldn't give a damm about them. your weight matters to me a lot, the fatter the better, which is the complete opposite to my beautiful wife who trains every day and has a fantastic body, she tries her best every day to look good for me, I'm not athletic, I've got a fat belly, I get out of breath going up stairs and I smoke like a chimney and I didn't go to school. As for children, my girl was prepared to take on my five nieces and nephews when their parents died despite being estranged from her own thro no fault of hers. She also supports me in every thing I do. She has and still does sacrifice her whole life for me, .......she makes me laugh and is my best mate.........Still, who cares she is the most wonderful woman I have ever met and I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with her, her but Im still gonna mess around behind her back. So, in conclusion, I'm a fat, bald, lying, cheating gypsy who spends all my money on fags and will happily share my chlamydia with you.

 

Blogs and personal online content in general can be something of a confessional, but this guy sounds like he should get counselling. A lot of people I've known in music over the years who displayed what might be loosely termed as 'the artistic demeanor' have had borderline personality disorders. It's what makes them (us?) creative / windswept and interesting / sexy / dangerous / nauseating / massive pains in the backside (delete as appropriate). May it ever be so, of course.

[Monkey Steve]

31 minutes ago, steve-bbb said:

am i being unduly harsh? personally i have this silly tape recorder memory thing going on and find it relatively easy to learn and memorise stuff, i guess some people, including singers, might indeed have the polar opposite? maybe? i dunno? JUST LEARN THE FKN SONG  🤣🤣🤣

 

 

I never get this with singers - they only have to learn the words to a song that is written in the language they speak, and assuming that they don't have dyslexia, they can bring the lyrics to the practice with them!

Never had an issue with this for any singers in my bands, but I've seen it a lot at auditions - send them a 3 song CD or a list of covers a couple of weeks ahead of the practice, they rock up and all they know is one song, and refuse to sing the others.  never once recruited any of those...although not because of this in itself, but because I've never found once who was actually any good at singing

[uk_lefty]

51 minutes ago, lowregisterhead said:

The princely sum of £12 a head for a 4-hour session. We're a 5-piece, and it's London prices, but it's a very nice studio. But I don't think it's the money, it's more the principal he objects to, that he shouldn't be putting in what he sees as 'so much effort' for a longer-term return. If he was note-perfect, I wouldn't mind so much, but he drops huge clangers at every gig.

It's the cost of being in a band. Even if he was note perfect I wouldn't want to gig with a stranger. Sounds like an entitled, deluded so and so... Which is like every keys player I've met.

[uk_lefty]

7 minutes ago, Monkey Steve said:

I never get this with singers - they only have to learn the words to a song that is written in the language they speak, and assuming that they don't have dyslexia, they can bring the lyrics to the practice with them!

Never had an issue with this for any singers in my bands, but I've seen it a lot at auditions - send them a 3 song CD or a list of covers a couple of weeks ahead of the practice, they rock up and all they know is one song, and refuse to sing the others.  never once recruited any of those...although not because of this in itself, but because I've never found once who was actually any good at singing

It's just a poor attitude. I don't mind if someone says "I've had a listen but not and chance to play it yet" (for a practice, for a audition I'd take a different view!!!) and then they have a go, but to refuse and to not even have a listen and try is poor. Our singer sometimes stops and asks someone more familiar with a new cover what the timing is for coming back in etc. It's fine, it shows he wants to get it right 

[Monkey Steve]

3 minutes ago, uk_lefty said:

It's just a poor attitude. I don't mind if someone says "I've had a listen but not and chance to play it yet" (for a practice, for a audition I'd take a different view!!!) and then they have a go, but to refuse and to not even have a listen and try is poor. Our singer sometimes stops and asks someone more familiar with a new cover what the timing is for coming back in etc. It's fine, it shows he wants to get it right 

exactly - that's the whole point of practices, to work on the songs, not to refuse to try because they haven't "had a chance to work on it".  I've had a guitarist where that was code for "I don't like the song so I'm not going to learn it".  For a singer, even if they've only heard the song a couple of times - the bare minimum you should expect if they've had a few days warning - then they just need the lyric sheet and they're away.

For auditions I'm quite forgiving if the person trying out hasn't got the exact structure of any originals - I'd rather have them sing over the guitar solo than refuse to sing at all, because at least it shows if they've got a good voice, the rest can be fixed later

[NikNik]

7 minutes ago, Monkey Steve said:

exactly - that's the whole point of practices, to work on the songs, not to refuse to try because they haven't "had a chance to work on it".  I've had a guitarist where that was code for "I don't like the song so I'm not going to learn it".  For a singer, even if they've only heard the song a couple of times - the bare minimum you should expect if they've had a few days warning - then they just need the lyric sheet and they're away.

For auditions I'm quite forgiving if the person trying out hasn't got the exact structure of any originals - I'd rather have them sing over the guitar solo than refuse to sing at all, because at least it shows if they've got a good voice, the rest can be fixed later

A tenor sax player I once played in a band with would sometimes just stop playing his part, letting the alto carry on. He made it look like he didn't have a part to play yet to us, and maybe to the audience, it was obvious that the tenor part was missing. It was the same at rehearsals with him and he put it down to 'drawing a blank'. He's still in the game, very much so, but as a singer and not as a tenor sax player. And, get this: he doesn't forget his words!

[knirirr]

If I may be allowed a singer anecdote:

Approx. 1994, charity gig in a chaplaincy, various bands with a short slot each, no smoking indoors, cheese and wine served (exciting stuff). We arrived, checked in with the MC and were given a slot roughly half-way through. Later, when the MC approached us to tell us to get ready to go on next we realised that none of us had seen the singer for some time. None of her friends we could find knew where she was or had seen where she went either. We searched the building, including both bogs but there was no sign, and she wasn't outside smoking - very mysterious, and concerning. We were told that the next band could go on instead and if she reappeared in time then we could be slotted in a bit later.

As we were at the back of the audience watching the next band she appeared and a loud conversation along these lines  (assuming my memory is accurate after so long) ensued:

Singer: What are you all doing standing around at the back? Why aren't you on stage? Why are they up there, in our timeslot?
Me: We couldn't find you and the MC had to move us to a later slot - we should be on in about half an hour.
Singer: How dare he! That was our slot, and I told all my friends I'd be on then. You should find him now, and get us up on stage at once.
Me: It's too late now. Perhaps you should have been here on time.
Singer: I had to go out for a smoke.
Me: We looked outside but couldn't find you.
Singer: You can't expect me to smoke outside - it's too cold. I went to the pub down the road with a few friends.
Me: Not much I can do then, we'll have to wait our turn.
Singer: Outrageous! You couldn't organise a fosters up in a brewery! That's it, we're not playing, I'm going home.

As the rest didn't want to perform without her and I wouldn't grovel, someone else had to volunteer to run down the road after her and beg her to perform, which she graciously consented to do.

Edit: Nice profanity filter correction!

Edited February 8, 2019 by knirirr

[steantval]

52 minutes ago, knirirr said:

If I may be allowed a singer anecdote:

Approx. 1994, charity gig in a chaplaincy, various bands with a short slot each, no smoking indoors, cheese and wine served (exciting stuff). We arrived, checked in with the MC and were given a slot roughly half-way through. Later, when the MC approached us to tell us to get ready to go on next we realised that none of us had seen the singer for some time. None of her friends we could find knew where she was or had seen where she went either. We searched the building, including both bogs but there was no sign, and she wasn't outside smoking - very mysterious, and concerning. We were told that the next band could go on instead and if she reappeared in time then we could be slotted in a bit later.

As we were at the back of the audience watching the next band she appeared and a loud conversation along these lines  (assuming my memory is accurate after so long) ensued:

Singer: What are you all doing standing around at the back? Why aren't you on stage? Why are they up there, in our timeslot?
Me: We couldn't find you and the MC had to move us to a later slot - we should be on in about half an hour.
Singer: How dare he! That was our slot, and I told all my friends I'd be on then. You should find him now, and get us up on stage at once.
Me: It's too late now. Perhaps you should have been here on time.
Singer: I had to go out for a smoke.
Me: We looked outside but couldn't find you.
Singer: You can't expect me to smoke outside - it's too cold. I went to the pub down the road with a few friends.
Me: Not much I can do then, we'll have to wait our turn.
Singer: Outrageous! You couldn't organise a fosters up in a brewery! That's it, we're not playing, I'm going home.

As the rest didn't want to perform without her and I wouldn't grovel, someone else had to volunteer to run down the road after her and beg her to perform, which she graciously consented to do.

Edit: Nice profanity filter correction!

That would have been a P45 for her, straight after that gig.👎