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Recrystallised using nature's power, apparently


Rich

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https://reverb.com/item/17839883-collection-elements-water

https://reverb.com/item/17839892-collection-elements-fire

Now, you might think that these look like a pile of old cack, but hold on. These things have been made using a special "*EZO Energy/Space Method of wood, metal, and ctr. treatment." Yeah. Try asking Fender for that.
"Modifications: mass crystallisation (wood), resonating in human emotional range." See? They're not just screwed together, they have a metaphysical birth.

Well worth 120 grand, I reckon.

 

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Lets see now...

Purchase this and you'll immediately get a fantastic gig and maybe some New Age friends, although you can't actually really play !

Free enrolment into School of Gullibility !

Contains shakric crystals!

Monks (or something similar) chanting whilst it was made!

Built on a ley line, and then suspended on warm stones for 3 days !

Genuine Realisation Mantra written on old scrolls concealed in neck pocket (plenty of room there) !  

 

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These basses are perception changing, elemental works of nature. They are hand-crafted to free the supertonal characteristics that have been breathed into the forces locked within them. They are a timeless testament to the very heartstones that dwell withing all living things, and which bind us all into one.

I particularly like the fact that they have a price on them that ends "and eighty-five pence", as though they were washing up bowls from Wilko (which, when I think about it, are also full of water)?

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5 minutes ago, Deanol said:

 

I particularly like the fact that they have a price on them that ends "and eighty-five pence", as though they were washing up bowls from Wilko (which, when I think about it, are also full of water)?

That's probably just currency conversion from their currency local to where they were made, sorry, breathed into life, the currency being the Papua New Guinean Trundle. Probably. Or the Kow-Pat.

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You're wasting your time ... the vendor won't even know about the auto-rejection of your pathetic bids.

Get with the program, guys. 

Everyone send him a private message through eBay offering him three million moonbeams in payment, or a pair of zircon-encrusted tweezers, or a baby's arm holding an apple, or something.

 

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"*EZO or ES Method – Energy/Space Method of wood, metal, and ctr. treatment. 
Modifications: mass crystallisation (wood), resonating in human emotional range.
Sound effects: real presence with element of reverb and chorus.
Developed by Mr. Papian."

 

I was reading this in the ad and I thought, that's familiar. Then I remembered, it's one of Jon Anderson's lyrics from side three of Tales for Topographic Oceans. 

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