Eurovision 2019

[drTStingray]

I was driving whilst this was on Radio 2 and am thankful for it giving me quite a few major laughs  and keeping me awake - not least the listener voting - that the Russians could receive 250 odd and the U.K. 3 says a great deal - and the Germans zero. Hilarious I thought!! 

I suspect some of this is caused as much by taste irregularities in some countries but also probably more by a feeling of certain countries having a parriah-like image - ours is probably fuelled by idiot politicians (or non politicians - well at least policy-less politicians like that that trouble maker whose name rhymes with garage (but only when pronounced poshly and unlike the music genre). 

FWIW I thought our entry was pretty good - certainly not out of place with the Dua Lipa/Calvin Harris style stuff on commercial radio - and it was heavily Bass orientated. The Iceland entry was hilarious - death metal vocals on Eurovision..... unbelievable. 

Long may the Eurovision Song Contest continue - it's really a quite hilarious mismatch of very diverse cultures with over production to the nth degree. I'm sure the anti Europe brigade politicians think it's a huge waste of money - well some of us would prefer to think they're a divisive huge waste of space.

Someone pointed out to me the other day that if we come out of Europe we can still enter the  song competition as even Australia and Israel take part....

Edited May 19, 2019 by drTStingray

[RobF]

Listen to the Albanian entry, they nicked the intro from 'be my baby ' 

[Marc Day]

I've never involved myself in discussions like this before and don't plan to make a habit of it, but it has to be said. Rather than reliving the nightmare by talking about it, I'll just paste in the message I posted on Facebook last night. It sums up my feelings on it pretty well.

I thought having to sit through this year's Euro torture was bad enough, but no!
Just as I was thinking it had reached an all time low Madonna showed up and somehow managed to be even more c**p than most of the contestants!
Christ almighty!!! 

[Frank Blank]

I thoroughly enjoyed the whole thing but I think that’s because I totally ignored the songs, or rather none of them did anything musically or lyrically that aroused the slightest interest. Also I was waiting for Madonna, I’m hardly what you’d call a fan but as her career is on the downslope and this was a worldwide broadcast I thought she might do something radical or even controversial, unfortunately not, in fact she just blended quite well into the unremarkable pap.

[HazBeen]

8 hours ago, Jazzmaster62 said:

Isn't this why we voted Brexit? 

I thought the entry was akin to Brexit, messy and seemed to drag on for ever. I also do not get what Israel and Australia have to do in Eurovision so me thinks once Brexit finally does become a reality you will still not be rid of the horrid ordeal.

Edited May 19, 2019 by HazBeen

[Shaggy]

The usual entertaining guff, mainly worth watching for the Cyprus singers costume.  

Mrs Shaggy always correctly picks the winner, I never can.  I personally liked the Albanian entry best, but of the contenders and from a performance point of view thought it should have been Australia.     Shame about Madge - she's easy to knock, but an artist I've a lot of respect for.  

[skankdelvar]

It's really very simple. Eurovision is not about the music. Basically it's the epicentre of over-the-top, glitzy campness and we just haven't been building our entries to spec. Want to win Eurovision? Here's how:

* The performer is more important than the song so choose someone with an intriguing back story, a willingness to wear heavily perforated bondage gear and the ability to weep like Niagara Falls without the aid of a freshly peeled onion

* Come up with a dance routine that would scare your mum, possibly involving near-naked people juggling blazing chainsaws

* Select 'basic EDM 4/4' on your drum software. Turn down the snare, turn up the kick. Switch off cymbals.

* Choose two chords. Any two chords will do.

* Write lyrics which detail the performer's urgent desire to 'be themselves' and not 'anyone else'.

Ker-ching!

Edited May 19, 2019 by skankdelvar

[Marc Day]

1 hour ago, Frank Blank said:

I thoroughly enjoyed the whole thing but I think that’s because I totally ignored the songs, or rather none of them did anything musically or lyrically that aroused the slightest interest. Also I was waiting for Madonna, I’m hardly what you’d call a fan but as her career is on the downslope and this was a worldwide broadcast I thought she might do something radical or even controversial, unfortunately not, in fact she just blended quite well into the unremarkable pap.

Spot on Mate.

[drTStingray]

16 minutes ago, skankdelvar said:

* Select 'basic EDM 4/4' on your drum software. Turn down the snare, turn up the kick. Switch off cymbals. 

You've clearly been coaching the drummer in one of the bands I play in!! 

[drTStingray]

22 minutes ago, skankdelvar said:

It's really very simple. Eurovision is not about the music. Basically it's the epicentre of over-the-top, glitzy campness and we just haven't been building our entries to spec. Want to win Eurovision? Here's how:

* The performer is more important than the song so choose someone with an intriguing back story, a willingness to wear heavily perforated bondage gear and the ability to weep like Niagara Falls without the aid of a freshly peeled onion

* Come up with a dance routine that would scare your mum, possibly involving near-naked people juggling blazing chainsaws

* Select 'basic EDM 4/4' on your drum software. Turn down the snare, turn up the kick. Switch off cymbals.

* Choose two chords. Any two chords will do.

* Write lyrics which detail the performer's urgent desire to 'be themselves' and not 'anyone else'.

Ker-ching!

This is right on the nail. 

And we are lamenting the days when it was obligatory for our Eurovision entry to either be written or change somewhere into 3/4 - presumably to appeal to certain country's judges, and to contain copious amounts of onomatopoeia (Boom Bang A Bang - Boom Boom Boom Boom etc) 

Edited May 19, 2019 by drTStingray

[leschirons]

I remember the good old days, these two were the first Brit winners I think.

I know he's dead, but I'll  try and trace her and see if she's  busy next May.

[pbasspecial]

Madge was bonkers.  She's like Dickens Miss Haversham and doesn't realise she has been dumped and no one gives a toss about here any more.

On the positive side who can forget the Polish Milkmaids from a few years ago.  Thought I'd accidentally tuned on to one of the naughty channels

 

[Doctor J]

This chorus is a banger by any standard. The accent, maybe not so much 😂

 

 

[Marc Day]

49 minutes ago, pbasspecial said:

Madge was bonkers.  She's like Dickens Miss Haversham and doesn't realise she has been dumped and no one gives a toss about here any more.

On the positive side who can forget the Polish Milkmaids from a few years ago.  Thought I'd accidentally tuned on to one of the naughty channels

 

Doubt even the Polish girls could have made a difference. There were already far too many tits on this show as it was!

[lowdown]

12 hours ago, RobF said:

Listen to the Albanian entry, they nicked the intro from 'be my baby ' 

Not the first to borrow that "but I dropped a stick"* intro either. Far from it...Probably won't be the last either. 

I should think Hal Blaine's intro might be the most covered drum part in history (played, sampled or programmed). 

 

Edited May 20, 2019 by lowdown

[Davo-London]

Here's my plan for minimal embarrassment:

1. Stop bankrolling the event
2. We will have to qualify
3. We will hardly ever qualify so no embarrassment in the final
4. If we do qualify and all the voters who take this seriously might just vote for us because we have been through the qualifier and they have heard the song.

 

Davo

[Leonard Smalls]

12 minutes ago, Davo-London said:

Here's my plan for minimal embarrassment:

Or alternatively, get someone who knows something about music to choose the song and artist, not just stick the 1st X Factor wannabe up there!

[Shaggy]

54 minutes ago, Davo-London said:

Here's my plan for minimal embarrassment:

1. Stop bankrolling the event
2. We will have to qualify
3. We will hardly ever qualify so no embarrassment in the final
4. If we do qualify and all the voters who take this seriously might just vote for us because we have been through the qualifier and they have heard the song.

 

Davo

Now that we've lulled Europe into a false sense of security for the last 30 years, we get Led Zeppelin to re-form as our entry next year......

[Doctor J]

54 minutes ago, Shaggy said:

Now that we've lulled Europe into a false sense of security for the last 30 years, we get Led Zeppelin to re-form as our entry next year......

Baaaaaaaaaaaaabe, I'm gonna leave you!

[Barking Spiders]

In Twitterland there were all these comments that the UK's dismal showing was Brexit related. Wrong! the UK's been a pariah nation  the whole of this century so far. 😁  As well as bottom place this year and  3rd last in 2018, the UK came last in 2003, 2008, and 2010. Other near last placings were in 2005 - 2007, 2012, 2013, 2015 and 2016.

 

 

[Barking Spiders]

1 hour ago, Shaggy said:

Now that we've lulled Europe into a false sense of security for the last 30 years, we get Led Zeppelin to re-form as our entry next year......

guaranteeing another last place 😉. 

[NancyJohnson]

14 hours ago, skankdelvar said:

...glitzy campness...

I'm unsure how to phrase this question without upsetting someone, so just take it as it comes, please.

When exactly did Eurovision make the jump from it just being a reasonably good-natured, albeit awful, entertainment event to the current, umm, anything goes format? 

I've got a couple of gay friends and they see this thing as the televisual event of the year.  Party time at theirs.  Was this always the case?

[lowregisterhead]

I was gigging on Saturday, so I finally got around to searching for Madonna's performance on YouTube. Spot the difference...

 

The 'original':

 

and Madonna's Vevo YouTube channel version:

 

[KevB]

However much it gets tweaked and reimagined I can't help feeling that at it's core it belongs with beauty pageants and dressing chimps up for tea parties. The world has moved on.

[HazBeen]

1 hour ago, lowregisterhead said:

I was gigging on Saturday, so I finally got around to searching for Madonna's performance on YouTube. Spot the difference...

 

The 'original':

 

and Madonna's Vevo YouTube channel version:

 

I find this quite shocking and totally logical at the same time....... I wish autotune would die, expose 99% of the so called singers in an instant.