Unknown_User Posted June 18, 2019 Share Posted June 18, 2019 https://www.joinmyband.co.uk/classifieds/im-handsome-like-phoenix-and-play-all-instruments-t1171847.html Quote I like the USA, specifically the Southwest. I feel like I was born in Houston, Texas. I've been an established film director since I was 18. I quit because I'm intolerant to intellectuals, artists etc.. I hate them. Now I'm all about fun, booze and girls. The only things that really matter. I'm handsome, young and cool and I only play with good looking young people. I'm all about aesthetics and sex appeal. I played bass, drums, guitar and sang in bands since I was 10. I've been into so many bands just because I make the difference. I'm all about the show. I'm a show expert. I'm currently listening to Phoenix, Chvrches, Hunny, The Killers, MGMT, Grimes, The Horrors and sometimes Justin Bieber and Dua Lipa. Phoenix is my favorite tho. Summer is my favorite period of the year and I always hope it never ends. I was born in July and I want to do happy music. I like summer bands. Don't even ask me if I have stupid demos or videos. I'm not into that. So you either trust me or f*ck off. I can send pictures tho. I hate Brit Rock. Oh god how much I hate it. I'm only into people who are not politically correct and stuff like that... So get in touch, I'm willing to play any instrument. I'm dying to show off. I'm getting really good vibes off this guy! 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LeftyP Posted June 18, 2019 Share Posted June 18, 2019 He doesn't sound like a team player. Would you really want to be stuck in a lift with him? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daz39 Posted June 18, 2019 Share Posted June 18, 2019 He sounds like he's trying really hard not to let slip that a) he lives in his mom's basement and b) he's an Incel. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Unknown_User Posted June 18, 2019 Author Share Posted June 18, 2019 I just can't come to a conclusion about what the best bit of it is. Is the ridiculous boasting? Is it that he specifically likes the south west of the US but feels he was born in a city on the east coast? Is it that he is "intolerant to" artists but is advertising for musicians and though he hasn't got any "stupid demos" to send he is happy to send pictures without explaining what they are of and what use they'd be in a musical context? Perhaps he meant to post it on a dating site or something. I am probably wrong to laugh at it but it's a masterpiece of weirdness. Best of luck to the handsome, young, artist and intellectual intolerant polymath anyway! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lozz196 Posted June 18, 2019 Share Posted June 18, 2019 I think he missed his calling, auditions for Motley Crue were in 1980! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
yorks5stringer Posted June 18, 2019 Share Posted June 18, 2019 (edited) Sorry but I don't trust him..... and looks like he has posted nationwise so he may have trouble getting to auditions? Edited June 18, 2019 by yorks5stringer Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ezbass Posted June 18, 2019 Share Posted June 18, 2019 Reeks of troll. Established film director who doesn’t like artists. Firmly established in his bedroom, under the bridge methinks. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
steantval Posted June 18, 2019 Share Posted June 18, 2019 3 hours ago, ezbass said: Reeks of troll. Established film director who doesn’t like artists. Firmly established in his bedroom, under the bridge methinks. With his hand firmly on his d*ck. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stingrayPete1977 Posted June 18, 2019 Share Posted June 18, 2019 I'm not young, cool or good looking so I'm safe. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
arthurhenry Posted June 18, 2019 Share Posted June 18, 2019 It's clearly a joke. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fleabag Posted June 18, 2019 Share Posted June 18, 2019 Natch Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tauzero Posted June 18, 2019 Share Posted June 18, 2019 7 hours ago, Daz39 said: He sounds like he's trying really hard not to let slip that a) he lives in his mom's basement and b) he's an Incel. Dunno about an Incel, he could be either a Cancer or a Leo. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Buzzy Posted June 18, 2019 Share Posted June 18, 2019 He's on Gumtree as well... https://www.gumtree.com/p/musicians-available/i-m-handsome-like-phoenix-and-play-all-instruments/1343697483 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rich Posted June 18, 2019 Share Posted June 18, 2019 He really is a knob with a capital Nuh. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
yorks5stringer Posted June 18, 2019 Share Posted June 18, 2019 2 hours ago, Buzzy said: He's on Gumtree as well... https://www.gumtree.com/p/musicians-available/i-m-handsome-like-phoenix-and-play-all-instruments/1343697483 Gumtree says contact 'James' but the ad is signed 'Alex'....actually does anyone really care? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skinnyman Posted June 18, 2019 Share Posted June 18, 2019 5 minutes ago, yorks5stringer said: Gumtree says contact 'James' but the ad is signed 'Alex'....actually does anyone really care? Well I wasn’t going to put my real name, now was I? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
yorks5stringer Posted June 18, 2019 Share Posted June 18, 2019 Just now, Skinnyman said: Well I wasn’t going to put my real name, now was I? Clapham not Cleethorpes! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skinnyman Posted June 18, 2019 Share Posted June 18, 2019 8 minutes ago, yorks5stringer said: Clapham not Cleethorpes! Or address, obvs..... 😁 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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