Guitarists are weird

[Gman]

I hooked up with a guitarist once...guy called Bernie - he used to demo Washburn guitars at shows. Now he could do all the sexy legato Holdsworth stuff...man I was blown away, I was soooo freaking excited!! That was until a guitarist mate asked him to play a simple rhythm part and he just couldn't do it (it was so simple, I could have played it), he just kept cocking it up.

So many of them spend hours working out every permutation of modes on the fretboard and don't bother to learn any chords or how to play a chuggy rhythm.

Another band I was in the guitarist had clearly learnt to play from watching 70's pornos. Every time we had a jam the same old porno 'waaaah wocka wocka wack wack wocka' came out. It only varied from song to song by the amount of flanger on it!

Guitarists...can't live with em....can't live with em.

[EssentialTension]

[quote name='skankdelvar' post='359220' date='Dec 19 2008, 10:01 PM']That would be me then...well, I might recognise a chord chart.

As long as it's in the key of A.[/quote]

If you can recognise a chord chart then I don't mean you. My own theory etc is not very advanced but , sheesh, at least people should be willing to have a go at talking the formal language of music just as they should be willing to have a go at improvising.

[EssentialTension]

[quote name='Gman' post='359239' date='Dec 19 2008, 10:33 PM']Another band I was in the guitarist had clearly learnt to play from watching 70's pornos. Every time we had a jam the same old porno 'waaaah wocka wocka wack wack wocka' came out. It only varied from song to song by the amount of flanger on it![/quote]

There was a lot of work in the 70s backing strippers.

[simon1964]

[quote name='ARGH' date='Dec 18 2008, 01:04 AM' post='357490']
Yeah Like an almost 'Simple music Autism'

/quote]

I think our guitarist suffers from this! He can learn any solo, note for note, and play it the same every night. Talk to him about improvisation or ''feel'' and he looks at you as if you're from another planet. They're a weird buch

[ARGH]

The further symptoms include CPC

(Cant Play Clean....it HAS to be distorted)

[Golchen]

[quote name='ARGH' post='359308' date='Dec 19 2008, 11:58 PM']The further symptoms include CPC

(Cant Play Clean....it HAS to be distorted)[/quote]


That's because it covers a multitude of sins!

[markytbass]

Reading some of the comments so far makes me feel quite lucky. Ian, the guitarist/singer who's blues band I play bass in can improv really well. We can play any song (in our set) in almost any key (where it sounds right). All in all it means that we can extend some songs with more/longer solo's or even jam it out. The previous drummer (so I'm told) wanted every song played as it was recorded or not at all

I have been to some open mic nights where one guitarist knows a song in A and the other knows it in G and neither is willing to change, what fun that is.

[escholl]

I feel quite lucky, in that our guitarist is actually pretty good, both as a guitarist and a person. Doesn't understand any theory, but I can forgive him for that, and he doesn't seem to suffer from CPC...thankfully.

But for some reason, he tends to play every single note or chord with the same exact intensity; that is to say completely flat without any variations in dynamics or rhythm or anything. I suppose dynamics might be tough to control with so much distortion, but really the end result is that it sounds like a poorly-programmed MIDI track. I tried explaining this to him once, but, you know...blank look

He also doesn't seem to be aware of the fact that some of the fancier stuff he tries just gets completely lost in a wall of distorted noise.

[skankdelvar]

[quote name='EssentialTension' post='359275' date='Dec 19 2008, 11:23 PM']the formal language of music[/quote]
Gtr: "It's in A"
Bass: "It's in G"
Gtr: "No it isn't"
Keys: "It's in G on the album"
Gtr: "Not on the live album"
Singer: "I haven't got the live album"
Bass: "Well it starts with a G"
Gtr: " Yes, but then it modulates to A"
Keys: "That's not a G, it's an F#m"
Bass: "So it's not a modulation, it's the relative minor"
Gtr: "The relative minor of G is Em"
Bass: "But you said it was in A"
Gtr: "It is"
Keys: "Where does it go after the A?"
Bass: "If you want it in A, I could put a Capo on"
Gtr: "Capo on a bass? You can't do that"
Keys: "McCartney did"
Bass: "Well, [i]you[/i] could put a capo at the 3rd fret and play it as an E"
Gtr: "F*** off, people will think I'm a total amateur if I put a capo on"

Rehearsal room manager: "5 minutes lads"

All: "Oh b******s. Let's do Johnny B Goode"
Gtr: "In C?"
Bass: "No, it's in Bb"

Ad inf.

[EssentialTension]

[quote name='skankdelvar' post='359638' date='Dec 20 2008, 03:35 PM']Gtr: "It's in A"
Bass: "It's in G"
Gtr: "No it isn't"
Keys: "It's in G on the album"
Gtr: "Not on the live album"
Singer: "I haven't got the live album"
Bass: "Well it starts with a G"
Gtr: " Yes, but then it modulates to A"
Keys: "That's not a G, it's an F#m"
Bass: "So it's not a modulation, it's the relative minor"
Gtr: "The relative minor of G is Em"
Bass: "But you said it was in A"
Gtr: "It is"
Keys: "Where does it go after the A?"
Bass: "If you want it in A, I could put a Capo on"
Gtr: "Capo on a bass? You can't do that"
Keys: "McCartney did"
Bass: "Well, [i]you[/i] could put a capo at the 3rd fret and play it as an E"
Gtr: "F*** off, people will think I'm a total amateur if I put a capo on"

Rehearsal room manager: "5 minutes lads"

All: "Oh b******s. Let's do Johnny B Goode"
Gtr: "In C?"
Bass: "No, it's in Bb"

Ad inf.[/quote]



Very good.

[skankdelvar]

I thang yew...

[noirpunk]

I'm the opposite to the guy mentioned at the beginning of the thread. I can't play most solos, I improvise them.... Also I can't read music.
Strangest guitarist I ever met was this guy who I was supposed to be joining a band with. One of my mates is a really good female rock vocalist, so she asked me to get involved with a new band on guitar. I met up with the other guitarist only to find out he was left handed, played the guitar strung up for a right handed player and played in open tuning.
He was a complete tosser with it...

[EssentialTension]

[quote name='noirpunk' post='362094' date='Dec 23 2008, 03:59 PM']I'm the opposite to the guy mentioned at the beginning of the thread. I can't play most solos, I improvise them.... Also I can't read music.
Strangest guitarist I ever met was this guy who I was supposed to be joining a band with. One of my mates is a really good female rock vocalist, so she asked me to get involved with a new band on guitar. I met up with the other guitarist only to find out he was left handed, played the guitar strung up for a right handed player and played in open tuning.
[b]He was a complete tosser[/b] with it...[/quote]

er ... left handed or right handed with that?

[noirpunk]

[quote name='EssentialTension' post='362101' date='Dec 23 2008, 04:06 PM']er ... left handed or right handed with that? [/quote]

haha. Seriously for such a poor (and frankly lazy) guitarist he was a complete tosser. He was a bit of a James Blunt (writing wise and cockney rhyming wise )

[stingrayfan]

Tried out a guitarist once for a gigging cover band I was in. He was the archetypal arrogant t*ss*r. Swanned in, was aloof, told us we were playing the songs wrong (we'd changed the intro on one of the songs so it sounded better for us), played too loud on everything and then flounced off, leaving us with open mouths.

I sent him the "thanks, but no thanks" email and got in reply: "No problem, I'm used to playing to a higher standard anyway..." In his bedroom, maybe.