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I've done a very stupid thing. Ebay bid dilemma


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15 minutes ago, Ricky 4000 said:

That's codswallop, guv'

Dear Ricky

There I was, blamelessly pressing wildflowers in my commonplace book when the computing device made that 'bloont' noise which signals that someone is doing something on BassChat.

Setting carefully to one side my Hall & Ball miniature pruning snips I clicked on the 'Alert' to discover a not entirely ill-founded but nevertheless unsubstantiated speculation that in the event of the Russian Navy having determined one of their nuclear submarines to be surplus to requirements and offering the vessel for open purchase I might have expended a portion of my not inconsiderable treasure upon said submarine for such purposes as shall remain entirely private but may become clear at such time as certain of my plans come to fruition.

At one time I might have responded to a public disquisition of a frankly impudent nature by picking up the telephone and placing a call to my close personal friend the noted (and - it may be said - much-feared) legal counsel Mr Wolf J Flywheel, this with the express purpose of instructing The Great White Wolf (as he is known to friend and foe alike) to commence legal proceedings against whomsoever might be bruiting rumour in respect of my activities.

Somewhere between learning that Wolf's attention is currently 120% taken up by his class suit against Universal Music Group in the matter of the destruction by fire of 500,000 master tapes (including a priceless and unreleased 1936 recording of the child star Miss Shirley Temple singing Swanee River, a performance which in these fragile times might be accounted both 'offensive' and culturally appropriative yet still be of interest to students of problematic cultural tropes) and discovering that my daisies had begun to wilt I came to the conclusion that faced with a range of mostly unpalatable options I should observe the maxim μὴ χεῖρον βέλτιστον (trans: "The least bad [choice] is the best." ) and proceed along the following lines:

* Stay my retribution
* Divert the topic elsewhere
* Deploy a 1960's TV reference
* Throw in some gags
* Deny everything and blame someone else
* Sit back and await developments

I hope this clarifies matters.

Yours

Del Var

 

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19 hours ago, skankdelvar said:

31842224_aquaphibianterrorfish.jpg.231162760ca2ac48e94652d729514d22.jpg

In the event that I elect to pursue The Life Aquatic I shall instruct my people to build a full-size version of this above, an Aquapibian Terror Fish as deployed by His Majesty King Titan out of the TV documentary series Stingray.

Obviously I shall demand that my vessel be considerably more terrifying than the model above which exudes - rather - an air of cheerful gormlessness.

I want that. Did you get it off the Gerry Anderson site??

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35 minutes ago, skankdelvar said:

Dear Ricky

 

Dear Mr Del Var

I certainly didn't imagine that you were, at the time, 'busy' pressing flowers. I pictured you more likely to be parked-up in international waters, relaxing on the sun deck, with a 9x19mm Makarov automatic pistol on your lap.

Things were getting a bit boring, so I remembered the anecdote about the Russian sub, and thought (rightly), that it would be like catnip to a... cat. It would only have been more delicious if David Van Day had bought it. :laugh1:

Regarding your toothless lion of a legal representative - you can tell him from me that (without prejudice), the internet is like Radio Caroline was, meets the Wild West. In other words, I've got no money to be worth suing.

 

P.S. Stingray was not a documentary!

P.P.S. Did you see that documentary about the Russians selling handfuls of plutonium out of the back door, to supplement unpaid wages at the power plant (weapons factory), in the 1990s?

 

I remain your servant and greatest friend,

Richter Van Rickenbacker

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1 hour ago, NikNik said:

I want that. Did you get it off the Gerry Anderson site??

I don't own one of these, sadly.  I just got the image off a Google image search.

There's various Stingray related stuff on eBay so I assume the tin fish toy probably comes up for sale every so often. But I bet it costs a packet.

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1 hour ago, Ricky 4000 said:

It would only have been more delicious if David Van Day had bought it.

My good friend Mr Van Day tells me that he has recently purchased a Ford Transit with the intention of converting it to a pleasure vehicle.

'I'm going to name it after myself so people will say "Look, there goes David Van Day's day van 'David'. It'll be a motorised palindrome, basically'.

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Just now, skankdelvar said:

My good friend Mr Van Day tells me that he has recently purchased a Ford Transit with the intention of converting it to a pleasure vehicle.

'I'm going to name it after myself so people will say "Look, there goes David Van Day's day van 'David'. It'll be a motorised palindrome, basically'.

Shouldn't that be David Van Day's yad nav divad? :crazy:

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12 hours ago, BassApprentice said:

I think this might be the furthest off topic I've seen a thread go on Basschat 😂

I'm going to get t-shirts printed with a picture of a Caterpillar sitting on a mushroom smoking a hookah and playing a bass guitar. Underneath will be the words "BassChat Forums - and you thought Alice went down a weird rabbit hole"

Any takers?

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5 hours ago, skankdelvar said:

I don't own one of these, sadly.  I just got the image off a Google image search.

There's various Stingray related stuff on eBay so I assume the tin fish toy probably comes up for sale every so often. But I bet it costs a packet.

When I was about 7 I had a pair of Stingray swim fins - basically little plastic fins that clipped onto your wrists; they didn't work, but you looked cooler whilst you were drowning.....

Just thought I'd share that 

Anyone remember Marine Boy and his Oxygum? (enabled him to breathe underwater) :scratch_one-s_head:

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30 minutes ago, Shaggy said:

When I was about 7 I had a pair of Stingray swim fins - basically little plastic fins that clipped onto your wrists; they didn't work, but you looked cooler whilst you were drowning.....

Just thought I'd share that 

Anyone remember Marine Boy and his Oxygum? (enabled him to breathe underwater) :scratch_one-s_head:

Oh yeah!

@ 15 seconds > you can see Del Var's underwater base!

 

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9 minutes ago, Ricky 4000 said:

Oh yeah!

@ 15 seconds > you can see Del Var's underwater base!

 

Jeez, I'm come over all nostalgic - and the first EVER time that I've it seen it in colour!

Thanks for sharing, Ricky 9_9

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5 minutes ago, Shaggy said:

Jeez, I'm come over all nostalgic - and the first EVER time that I've it seen it in colour!

Thanks for sharing, Ricky 9_9

Amazing that 50 years on, it's still there in the memory bank!

Black Beauty is one I remember from Saturday morning cinema (she was a horse - no sniggering at the back)!

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6 hours ago, skankdelvar said:

My good friend Mr Van Day tells me that he has recently purchased a Ford Transit with the intention of converting it to a pleasure vehicle.

'I'm going to name it after myself so people will say "Look, there goes David Van Day's day van 'David'. It'll be a motorised palindrome, basically'.

With his more than passing resemblance to Fred; mystery-solving pal of Scooby-doo, I'd imagine him driving one of these.....

image.jpeg

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10 minutes ago, Ricky 4000 said:

Amazing that 50 years on, it's still there in the memory bank!

Black Beauty is one I remember from Saturday morning cinema (she was a horse - no sniggering at the back)!

Aw; there's another thread in the making there - White horses, Singing ringing tree, Robinson Crusoe, Banana Splits........o.O

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