Bass Players & Hats

[Teebs]

I notice that lots of bass players wear hats on stage - there have been threads on here about it before.

Why?

Is it to hide a bald spot, or does it improve your bass technique / add irresistible sex-appeal / keep your head warm / other?

Do I need to acquire a hat, and what would you recommend?

Thanks in advance

[cetera]

Personally, I perspire heavily from my head so I find a hat both helps with this AND shields my eyes from stage light glare. Also, with my band it's a point of reference/style. Everyone knows who I am, recognises me for it...

[skankdelvar]

1 hour ago, Teebs said:

I notice that lots of bass players wear hats on stage - there have been threads on here about it before.

Why?

I'm glad you asked.

Musicians have for thousands of years worn hats. Thucydides remarks in book IV of his 'Pantechnicon':

"Οι μουσικοί όλοι φορούσαν φρυγικά καπάκια. Θεώρησαν ότι τους έκανε να φαίνονται έξυπνοι, αλλά μοιάζουν με Smurfs"

(trans: The musicians were all wearing Phrygian caps. They thought it made them look smart but they just looked like Smurfs)

Lyrist and Flautist in Phrygian caps serenade man with stick

The practice persisted down through the ages but the most influential manifestation of the musical hat came to pass when jazz musician Lester 'Prez' Young saw a wide-brimmed pork pie hat in a shop window and thought 'That would be a nice change from my customary straw boater which is looking a bit past it if I'm really honest'. 

That night Young wore his new hat to a jam session at the house of his friend Dexter 'Moondog' Van Buren^*. Young's hat excited widespread approval, Van Buren observing: 'Ah mo gits me a hat like ol' Prez hyah, mebbe gits me sum jelly-roll too, Dad'.

Lester 'Prez' Young with hat

Young's hat became such a trademark that Frank Sinatra bought one and upon Young's death Charles Mingus composed the song 'Goodbye Pork Pie Hat' ^**

Subject to a certain narrowing of the brim the pork pie hat has remained pre-eminent among jazz head wear, outlasting trends such as the beret, the turban and the snap-brim fedora. The pork pie's high visibility among musicians noted for their technical prowess has made it an obvious choice for ageing pop and rock musicians no longer able to trade on their fading good looks or bodily tautness. The pork pie hat says to the audience: 'I may be a wrinkly old geezer who can't get it up but by Christ you will respect my chops and say stuff like "He's playing better than ever. It's called maturity, y'see" '

For older bass players the pork pie is not simply optional; it is essential. Nobody cares about bass players anyway and the older bass player is in the worst place of all: a non-entity with one foot in the grave. A pork pie hat adds a tiny hint of zing where none existed hithertofore.

That is why bass players wear hats.

 

1 hour ago, Teebs said:

Is it to hide a bald spot, or does it improve your bass technique / add irresistible sex-appeal / keep your head warm / other?

Possibly /  no / no / yes / possibly

 

1 hour ago, Teebs said:

Do I need to acquire a hat, and what would you recommend?

You do not need to acquire a hat. In fact, I would counsel a contrarian stance and advise you not to acquire a hat. But if you must get a hat either commit yourself 100% to the pork pie hat or seek out exotica such as a Native American War Bonnet or a U-Boat Commander's Sou'Wester with Kriegsmarine insignia

 

1 hour ago, Teebs said:

Thanks in advance

You're entirely welcome.

 

* Dexter Van Buren was an emigre middle class college lecturer from Croydon, England and given to affecting jazz patois.
** Mingus composition story is true.

Edited July 5, 2019 by skankdelvar

[DoubleOhStephan]

@skankdelvar I'm going to have to insist that you start writing a blog. Do it. Do it now. 

[Teebs]

7 minutes ago, skankdelvar said:

I'm glad you asked.

Musicians have for thousands of years worn hats. Thucydides remarks in book IV of his 'Pantechnicon':

"Οι μουσικοί όλοι φορούσαν φρυγικά καπάκια. Θεώρησαν ότι τους έκανε να φαίνονται έξυπνοι, αλλά μοιάζουν με Smurfs"

(trans: The musicians were all wearing Phrygian caps. They thought it made them look smart but they just looked like Smurfs)

Lyrist and Flautist in Phrygian caps serenade man with stick

The practice persisted down through the ages but the most influential manifestation of the musical hat came to pass when jazz musician Lester 'Prez' Young saw a wide-brimmed pork pie hat in a shop window and thought 'That would be a nice change from my customary straw boater which is looking a bit past it if I'm really honest'. 

That night Young wore his new hat to a jam session at the house of his friend Dexter 'Moondog' Van Buren^*. Young's hat excited widespread approval, Van Buren observing: 'Ah mo gits me a hat like ol' Prez hyah, mebbe gits me sum jelly-roll too, Dad'.

Lester 'Prez' Young with hat

Young's hat became such a trademark that Frank Sinatra bought one and upon Young's death Charles Mingus composed the song 'Goodbye Pork Pie Hat' ^**

Subject to a certain narrowing of the brim the pork pie hat has remained pre-eminent among jazz head wear, outlasting trends such as the beret, the turban and the snap-brim fedora. The pork pie's high visibility among musicians noted for their technical prowess has made it an obvious choice for ageing pop and rock musicians no longer able to trade on their fading good looks or bodily tautness. The pork pie hat says to the audience: 'I may be a wrinkly old geezer who can't get it up but by Christ you will respect my chops and say stuff like "He's playing better than ever. It's called maturity, y'see" '

For older bass players the pork pie is not simply optional; it is essential. Nobody cares about bass players anyway and the older bass player is in the worst place of all: a non-entity with one foot in the grave. A pork pie hat adds a tiny hint of zing where none existed hithertofore.

That is why bass players wear hats.

 

Possibly /  no / no / yes / possibly

 

You do not need to acquire a hat. In fact, I would counsel a contrarian stance and advise you not to acquire a hat. But if you must get a hat either commit yourself 100% to the pork pie hat or seek out exotica such as a Native American War Bonnet or a U-Boat Commander's Sou'Wester with Kriegsmarine insignia

 

You're entirely welcome.

 

* Dexter Van Buren was an emigre middle class college lecturer from Croydon, England and given to affecting jazz patois.
** Mingus composition story is true.

An excellent and exhaustive summary of the predicament.

I shall refrain from becoming a be-hatted bassist

[Skinnyman]

13 minutes ago, skankdelvar said:

such as a Native American War Bonnet

And then you look around you at your fellow musicians and discover a policeman, construction worker, naval rating and a cowboy on stage with you.

Bad things come from bad hat choices.

Some people can wear hats, some can't. Some could stick a plant pot on their head and look cool, trendy and sophisticated. Others (and i count myself among them) could wear the coolest of cool hats while stood in a fridge in the middle of December and still look like a pillock. Every hat I've ever worn has managed the trick of looking embarrassed to have me stuck to its a£se.

So, listen to Del Var's sagacity and wisdom, heed his advice, take his words and hold them to your bosom like the cherished pearls they truly are - but be prepared to accept that, regrettably, The Hat may be for others to bear and not for you....

[Ricky 4000]

Fluffy Mullet, cowboy shirt, headband = Job done.

And even then he didn't look as much of a tool as the bass player (sorry, John Illsley). 😬

[skankdelvar]

29 minutes ago, DoubleOhStephan said:

@skankdelvar I'm going to have to insist that you start writing a blog. Do it. Do it now. 

Did that when BC had a blog site a few years ago. It was about 10,000 words in 6 instalments and entitled 'I Was Hitler's Bassist'.

It was a bit sh!t, actually 

 

Edited July 5, 2019 by skankdelvar

[Teebs]

2 minutes ago, Skinnyman said:

So, listen to Del Var's sagacity and wisdom, heed his advice, take his words and hold them to your bosom like the cherished pearls they truly are - but be prepared to accept that, regrettably, The Hat may be for others to bear and not for you....

Wise words, my leetul Lincolnshire leprechaun!

[Teebs]

1 minute ago, skankdelvar said:

Did that when BC had a blog site a few years ago. It was about 10,000 words in 6 instalments and entitled 'I Was Hitler's Bass Player'.

It was a bit sh!t, actually 

 

Bet it wasn't!

Reprise it!!!!!!!

[Frank Blank]

If you want to get ahead, get a hat.

[Teebs]

3 minutes ago, Frank Blank said:

If you want to get ahead, get a hat.

Thanks Frank, but I fear that the LeanHombré is correct, and I am not one of those blessed enough to wear a hat with style.

Fortunately, I make up for this by having bags of style in other areas!

[hooky_lowdown]

4 minutes ago, Frank Blank said:

If you want to get ahead, get a hat.

Yeah, but what colour?

[Ricky 4000]

John Illsley used to move around like he was on the moon (zero gravity*) - probably because he didn't wear a hat.

 

 

* If anybody has knowledge that the surface of the moon isn't actually zero gravity - I for one don't want to hear it. Others may,but I don't.

[ped]

9 minutes ago, skankdelvar said:

Did that when BC had a blog site a few years ago. It was about 10,000 words in 6 instalments and entitled 'I Was Hitler's Bass Player'.

It was a bit sh!t, actually 

 

It wasn’t, it was excellent! Actually we do have the ability to have blogs as a section on the site, how about we use your blog as a test to see how (and if) it all works? Do you have it all? If not I may be able to locate some episodes. 

[Teebs]

1 minute ago, ped said:

It wasn’t, it was excellent! Actually we do have the ability to have blogs as a section on the site, how about we use your blog as a test to see how (and if) it all works? Do you have it all? If not I may be able to locate some episodes. 

THIS ^^^^^^^^^^^^

[Ricky 4000]

What does BLOG actually stand for? I've never been able to find that out.

[DoubleOhStephan]

13 minutes ago, skankdelvar said:

Did that when BC had a blog site a few years ago. It was about 10,000 words in 6 instalments and entitled 'I Was Hitler's Bassist'.

It was a bit sh!t, actually 

 

I'll bet it wasn't mate 👍🏻

4 minutes ago, ped said:

It wasn’t, it was excellent! Actually we do have the ability to have blogs as a section on the site, how about we use your blog as a test to see how (and if) it all works? Do you have it all? If not I may be able to locate some episodes. 

Let's have it!!! 

[DoubleOhStephan]

4 minutes ago, Ricky 4000 said:

What does BLOG actually stand for? I've never been able to find that out.

Apparently it short for Web Log..?! 🤷🏻‍♂️

[Ricky 4000]

1 minute ago, DoubleOhStephan said:

Apparently it short for Web Log..?! 🤷🏻‍♂️

Oooooh... thank you. 👍

[Teebs]

3 minutes ago, Ricky 4000 said:

Oooooh... thank you. 👍

See!

That's one of the many things I like about BassChat - there's always something to learn!

[skankdelvar]

4 minutes ago, ped said:

It wasn’t, it was excellent! Actually we do have the ability to have blogs as a section on the site, how about we use your blog as a test to see how (and if) it all works? Do you have it all? If not I may be able to locate some episodes. 

Oh, please don't... 

[Teebs]

1 minute ago, skankdelvar said:

Oh, please don't... 

[redbandit599]

I can only get away with self-deprecating, unstylish hats e.g. the black woolen skull cap, the flowery floppy hat (hated by my daughters.)

Any stylish hat instantly makes me look a knob probably due to my big, round head .....I may well be a knob but don't need to advertise it 🙄

Hats indoors as well is a tricky one, can only pull them off outside myself 🙂

 

[MrCrane]

Says it all