Jump to content
Why become a member? ×

Recommended Posts

Posted (edited)
  On 05/07/2019 at 21:01, skankdelvar said:

talented Mr Skinnyman takes his rightful place as our national poetaster.

Expand  

Alas, i fear I'll be grazing my nuckles on the inside of my coffin lid by the time the post becomes vacant. Plus, I suspect that in these more enlightened times the Powers That Be would prefer to appoint someone more relevant to today's society than an ageing reprobate like myself.

My guess is that it will be that Diseased Rascal chappy (I may have misheard his name but you'll know the one i mean. Stocky cove, fond of hats, appropriately enough....)

Edited by Skinnyman
  • Like 2
Posted
  On 05/07/2019 at 21:01, skankdelvar said:

North of England, a bleak and charmless locale where no fashionable gentleman would venture even on a bet. 

Expand  

Ooh, Young Teebs won't care for that.

Unless, of course, you consider Manchester to be just the top bit of the Midlands and the North to start properly somewhere around Newcastle, ha-way the lads, like, why-aye pet, hinny-man, na-thin....?

 

  • Like 1
Posted

I love hats. On stage off stage, all the same to me. 

Always loved hats. Caps, beanies, bobbles, pith and other helmets, pork pies, trilbies, sun hats and fedoras. Love them all. 

Anyone who tells you hats are bad...... Well, they just have a different opinion from me that's all. No less valid than mine. 

  • Like 4
Posted
  On 05/07/2019 at 15:23, DoubleOhStephan said:

Apparently it short for Web Log..?! 🤷🏻‍♂️

Expand  

Correct. It's an Americanism, because they're a bit thick and forget the first bits of words. Hence "neighbourhood" becomes "hood" (after becoming "neighborhood" because they can't spell either), "parent" becomes "rent", "suburbs" becomes "burbs", and "magazine" becomes "zine". American independence was actually a way of increasing the average IQ of the British Empire.

  • Like 3
  • Haha 2
Posted

Anyway, back to the issue at hand. There's nothing wrong with wearing hats.

image.png.232e048ff81bb5afa305811b48fbc6a9.png

Though our dulcimer player later decided to go for a bowler hat instead. And then Mrs Zero (not in picture) suggested that we make sashes for dancers who were being the gender that they weren't originally made, without the benefit of chemical treatments or surgery, and her and the melodeon player decided that orange would be a good colour. The English can be remarkably ignorant of cultural matters. Happily, we were never booked to play at any Irish club.

  • Like 2
Posted
  On 05/07/2019 at 21:25, Skinnyman said:

Ooh, Young Teebs won't care for that.

Unless, of course, you consider Manchester to be just the top bit of the Midlands and the North to start properly somewhere around Newcastle, ha-way the lads, like, why-aye pet, hinny-man, na-thin....?

Expand  

For the avoidance of confusion I lay before you a map which indicates the location of the North of England.

367537570_DELVARMAPOFENGLAND.jpg.4eb90185ad4130d9d1b15b9ff3a68450.jpg

  • Haha 4
  • Confused 1
Posted

Mrs Deedee bought me a Peaky Blinders style titfer a while ago which I may well decide to model at some gigs in the future. This decision will ultimately hinge on the position of my ever receding hairline weighed against the odds of the band turning into a northern Village People  tribute band as a result of my selfish hat wearing. 🤔

  • Like 3
Posted (edited)

Whilst we're on the subject of geography & hats, my guide to headwear of the British Isles...

SCOTTISH HAT

redcheckedbalmoralhatside.jpg

IRISH HAT

checkered-guinness-jeff-cap.jpg

WELSH HAT

 

fotor0729222523_thumbh_600.jpg

NORTHERN HAT

 

326bb869-522e-4b05-887d-cad7c3238b4f.jpg

PEAKY BLINDERS HAT

 

Cap_Herringbone_Black_Front.jpg

SOUTHERN TW*T IN A HAT

 

66e3e216-91a7-4324-a956-47212db9bfe8.jpg

:D

Edited by Teebs
  • Haha 4
Posted
  On 06/07/2019 at 08:21, Skinnyman said:

"Fwar, fwar. All right, Teebs, mate. You can let me down now......Hey, Ricky, I can see your house from here, fwar, fwar."

Expand  

Teebs - "Die, you feckin' posh-boy twunt!"

:D

  • Haha 1
Posted
  On 06/07/2019 at 10:00, Skinnyman said:

Now then, Young Teebs. No politics, remember....

Tsk, tsk.

Expand  

It's got nowt to do with his political affiliations, and more to do with the fact that as a human being, he's a miserable failure! :D

No politics involved! 👍

  • Like 1
Posted
  On 06/07/2019 at 10:03, Teebs said:

It's got nowt to do with his political affiliations, and more to do with the fact that as a human being, he's a miserable failure! :D

No politics involved! 👍

Expand  

And yet he speaks so highly of you.

We were chatting in bed the other morning and he said "Fwar, fwar, er, that Teebs, fine chap, Victor Ludorum, semper wotsit, no a little higher, yes, Teebs, sound fellah, fwar, fwar"

Honest, not a word of a lie....

  • Haha 1
Posted
  On 05/07/2019 at 21:01, skankdelvar said:

When the egregiously drab Carol Anne Duffy handed in her badge I had high hopes for the next incumbent of the office of Poet Laureate.

Of course, we ended up with Simon Armitage, a specimen of extreme loathesomeness whose poetic output is limited to a meagre few published collections, these propped up by occasional dribs and drabs of semi-literate doggerel condescendingly lobbed at his fawning adulants rather as a chimpanzee might hurl his fecal matter at a coach party of mouth breathing schoolchildren.

That Mr Armitage has stooped to write librettos for modern opera merely compounds rather than alleviates the crushing ennui that befalls me when I hear his name or - worse - his ghastly, nasal voice droning away on Radio Four about inclusion, compassion and his (feigned) affinity for the North of England, a bleak and charmless locale where no fashionable gentleman would venture even on a bet.

The repellent Armitage will probably remain in post for some time and it will be with the greatest difficulty that I shall suppress my feverish anticipation for the day when his inglorious tenancy comes to an ignominious and preferably painful end, and the talented Mr Skinnyman takes his rightful place as our national poetaster.

Sic transit Gloria Gaynor, as my old pal and drinking buddy Alf Tennyson was wont to say. He knew whereof he spoke.

Expand  

Now *that* is what I call a blog post. Sort of Mr Abusing after anger management. Probably just wants something about bass in there — can we shoehorn in something about Alfred-Lord’s secret double life as a gypsy punk single-bassist? Or maybe Armitage plays cajon?

  • Like 2

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Restore formatting

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
×
×
  • Create New...