Getting sacked. How do you deal with it.?

[bubinga5]

Ok so I had a phone call from the so called band leader. He's found a new bassist ( a pro). Bit of a bummer but you have got to take these rejections on the chin. I think if you do this with a good attitude. It makes it easy for them and im one for , if you have someone better that works for the music, forget about my playing, just go with what works regardless of my feelings or playing. That is how great music is created.

 

But the whole situation is a bit bitter sweet for me though. On the one side, I found the drummer and on a practical level we agreed to do soul/funk cover's. The audience recognises them etc etc. 

Then comes in a new guitarist, and he recommends Dan. A vocalist who plays guitar and has all original music. He takes charge fairly quickly because they are his songs.(change your playing here/there blah blah Fair enough to fit the song). The rehearsals go on week after week. I think there are some funny fags involved, which im not into. 

Its not my music of choice, that being a mix of rocky acoustic soul stuff, but of course you have to adapt to the genre.  Im a funky soul bass player wether that be good or bad, its the music I've listened to since I was 5 years old and thats my style.

The thing is you always think its your fault, and that in a nutshell is my conundrum. Im a very very sensitive person so these situations make me Uber introspective. 

I guess my ramblings are about a question.. How do you deal with rejection from a band. Move on quickly, ? Find another band quickly?. Im currently having drumming lessons to broaden my rhythm section knowledge. 

 

end of rambling. 

[daveybass]

First and foremost I don't think it's about you - they've moved to a different style from what you like so you'd probably never be really into it. I had the same scenario and just started my own band doing what we as a band enjoyed playing - it's not worth sacrificing your enjoyment just for some steady gig

[Oopsdabassist]

Luckily I've not been in that position, but I would say, stay in touch with the drummer, if you and he click, maybe start again, playing what you want.

[DoubleOhStephan]

Is there any chance you and the drummer can do a side project? Sounds like you're on the same page and have clicked. That'll mean as much to him as you, worth trying to keep that going. 

[ambient]

I remember you recently saying how happy you were with them, so it’s very sad how it has turned out.

Pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and start again. You know what it is you want to do, so stick to that. Contact the drummer if he’s someone you get on with, see if he’s interested in continuing playing with you and a new project. I’d have thought playing covers was more likely to be successful than playing original songs.

[lou24d53]

Sorry to hear that, as others say, sounds like you're in tune with the drummer and its definitely worth a phone call or meet up at least to see if there's anything there to build on.

I joined a three piece a number of years ago, both guys had been with each other for 10 years at least, and I quickly build up a strong playing relationship as well as a general rapport with the drummer.

In not too dissimilar circumstances to your story above, the singer soon proved himself to be an egotistical rusty bullethole...and it's safe to say I don't work well in dictator-led projects...so we both ended up bolting and have been in every band with each other since.

Point being, for all you know the drummer might not be overly happy himself with the way things have panned out and might be happy to resurrect what you had not so long ago.

[Lozz196]

I was once sacked for not having the right look and direction that the band wanted. It actually boiled down to the fact that I wasn’t willing to hand over £6000 to help set up a rehearsal studio. 

The band in question got their studio, haven’t ever gigged and never released any material.

Bovvered?????

Edited July 21, 2019 by Lozz196

[musicbassman]

Hi bubinga5,

I feel sorry for you, and you're taking this rejection like a champ.

But there's a few things that don't quite stack up - you joined a band doing soul/funk covers - presumably because (a) you enjoy playing these and (b) you know you're going to get regular paid work because the band are playing this material - bums on seats etc

 - and then along comes your new singer, and all this goes out the window because the guitarist and singer want to do the singer's own material ???   WTF ???  Surely the singers own material should be a side project - you don't sacrifice a perfectly good gigging set up just to appease some guy with his own material, and just because he wants to get off on this.

And then you say the new bass player is a 'pro' - what, in terms of ability?  Because if the band's suddenly going to start doing original material then they'll be joining the other 10,000 original bands in the UK scraping for any work at all, so your new bassist won't be able to give up the day job any day soon.

So, tough as it may seem, you might be well out of this, and you can then find a band that has much clearer goals and objectives from day one.

Best of luck !

[Ricky 4000]

^^^^^ All of That.

 

[paul_c2]

How long were you in the band for?

[pst62]

It could've been worse. You could've been sacked for something utterly pathetic, like not dropping everything you were doing at the time, to rush off and help your band's derrière of a guitarist pick up the pieces (literally) when he totalled a recording studios massive overhead all-spangly and neony advertising sign with his van, as he was lining his pockets ferrying another bands gear to and from said studio. 

[chris_b]

2 hours ago, bubinga5 said:

. . . .  How do you deal with rejection from a band.

So, you got fired. If it was your fault recognise the fact, learn from the experience and don't do it again. If it wasn't your fault just say flip 'em, they were a bunch of tossers anyway.

I got fired once because the drummer decided he wanted to play with someone else. So he quit and his price for coming back was that I was kicked out. The band leader was pretty weak and gave in. Apparently this was exactly the same trick this drummer played on the previous bass player in order to get me into the band!

Unless you have no social skills, no personal hygiene or have no ability, getting fired is probably not going to be your fault, so move on. There are many better bands out there.

[skankdelvar]

Classic example of mission creep brought on by personnel turnover. The band has clearly descended into a vortex of ego, narcotics and procrastination so you're better off out of it.

Now go find another band, gig yer ar$e off and trouser some wedge.

[uk_lefty]

I think you can deal with it very easily. You found a drummer to form a funk/ soul band. The guitarist joined that band but brought in a mate who took everything in a completely different direction that you didn't want to go in. These guys have basically taken a shortcut to forming their own ego trip band by hijacking you and your concept. I'd chalk it up to bad experience/ sh!t happens. Maybe see of the drummer wants to keep going on the original track with you?

[Ricky 4000]

It's probably a bit like packing in a girl / being packed in by a girl.

Sometimes folks tell the truth, other times they don't.

Sometimes they might regret it.

Sometimes they might be sorry in the long run.

I was once packed in by a girl because I was 'a bit boring'.

She was clearly wrong, or deranged, but I bear the SWB no ill will... and it was like, 40 years ago... 😬

[chris_b]

Take overs happen.

That's always the risk when "mates" are asked to join. You're in good company with Brian Jones, Denny Dias and Syd Barrett.

[Jazzmaster62]

4 hours ago, bubinga5 said:

Ok so I had a phone call from the so called band leader. He's found a new bassist ( a pro). Bit of a bummer but you have got to take these rejections on the chin. I think if you do this with a good attitude. It makes it easy for them and im one for , if you have someone better that works for the music, forget about my playing, just go with what works regardless of my feelings or playing. That is how great music is created.

 

But the whole situation is a bit bitter sweet for me though. On the one side, I found the drummer and on a practical level we agreed to do soul/funk cover's. The audience recognises them etc etc. 

Then comes in a new guitarist, and he recommends Dan. A vocalist who plays guitar and has all original music. He takes charge fairly quickly because they are his songs.(change your playing here/there blah blah Fair enough to fit the song). The rehearsals go on week after week. I think there are some funny fags involved, which im not into. 

Its not my music of choice, that being a mix of rocky acoustic soul stuff, but of course you have to adapt to the genre.  Im a funky soul bass player wether that be good or bad, its the music I've listened to since I was 5 years old and thats my style.

The thing is you always think its your fault, and that in a nutshell is my conundrum. Im a very very sensitive person so these situations make me Uber introspective. 

I guess my ramblings are about a question.. How do you deal with rejection from a band. Move on quickly, ? Find another band quickly?. Im currently having drumming lessons to broaden my rhythm section knowledge. 

 

end of rambling. 

Lead singer came in. Took over the band. Ousted you to get his mate in. So basically, do as I say, not as I do. Bands like that never work out and eventually implode. Not your fault at all. Find another band that plays the music you want to play. 

[jezzaboy]

I have never been sacked but the band dynamics always change when a strong personality comes into a already set up band. Thats if they get away with it of course!

My band had 2 passive members who never really opened their mouth and me who didn`t like the way that the new member managed to weasel his way in and basically take over through time. So I left before it got nasty.

You have to move on and get back to playing the kind of music you like, it might take a while as I don`t know what the scene is like round your way but it`s got to be better than being unhappy, playing music that isn`t your bag and isn`t the band that you started. 

Good luck in whatever you choose to do.

 

[4000]

Never been sacked, although to be fair as one of the main writers in most of the bands I’ve been in - I’ve always played original music - I’ve been too indispensable to sack. That, plus all the others members would have been too terrified of the consequences. 😉😂(when I was younger - and had more hair! - I used to get mistaken for Henry Rollins, so much so that most people knew me as “Henry”, or occasionally “Rollins”😁).

My advice would be to get your own band together. Find people who want to play the same music you do, be it originals or covers. There must be plenty out there. And try and make sure they’re people you get along with, and that there are no huge egos, because that’s always just an accident waiting to happen. I play original music with some of my best friends, all of whom are pretty humble and self-deprecating. I wouldn’t have it any other way.

 

[mikel]

My take? Its their loss, I move on to bigger and better things.

[Graham]

I've been sacked, it wasn't a nice feeling, particularly as the reason basically boiled down to me not being good enough.

But, when I got over the initial feelings and looked at it dispassionately, they were right - I wasn't good enough. So, I worked hard and got better, which stood my in good stead for future bands.

I'm on good terms with those guys now and have just heard the debut album for their current project, which is great - in my top five albums of the year so far.

[NancyJohnson]

Never been sacked, but left the band I started about eight years previously after the new singer pretty much took over and things became intolerable. 

I guess sacking or leaving, just try to rise above it, irrespective of how much it hurts now.  Whatever you're feeling now will pass and you can move forward and take some pleasure in the failings of the unit that felt they no longer needed you.  I certainly know that my current project (Lutz) if a country mile better and more challenging than the old one.

 

[Doctor J]

It’s not what you started out trying to create and a form of music you’re not really into? If you saw what it is now on an ad, would you consider applying if you were never involved in the first place?

It sounds like you might have lost interest anyway, sooner or later, and these guys just saved you a load of time. Chin up. Believe in yourself and your abilities and focus on what it is you really want to do. Put your energies into chasing that. You’re the right man for that gig.

[fretmeister]

Never been fired, but I quit several. 

 

For some I tried to find something new quite quickly, for others I had some time off. Depending on what the reason for quitting was.

[Monkey Steve]

The one time I got sacked was something very similar.  me, drummer and vox had left another band to form a new one, the singist had a mate who played guitar...who promptly took the band in a completely different direction. 

He didn't like the stuff I wrote (that was kind of Killing Joke play thrash metal), I certainly didn't like the very dull stuff he wrote (that was more Dire Straits play Chris Rea) and in general I thought he was a bit of a bellend who treated us as his backing band and dismissed anything that the rest of the band suggested.  Especially my "over-complicated bass playing".  It very clearly wasn't working...

The sacking itself couldn't have been better handled.  Vocalist comes round to my house, explains that it's clear that the band isn't working, so they're going to carry on without me.  The vocalist could also play a bit of bass, so I assume that it was intended that he would take over.

What made everything much easier was that they had failed to discuss this with the drummer prior to sacking me, and, not being a fan of the guitarist's either, he declined to continue.  So they never got as far as having another rehearsal, whereas before too long another guitarist mate of mine contacted me and suggested forming a new band now that i was at a loose end...

So, take it on the chin, count yourself lucky to be out of a band that wasn't what you'd been sold to begin with, and carry on with something new.