Getting sacked. How do you deal with it.?

[Hobbayne]

I have been sacked from several bands in my lifetime but it never really bothered me.

the first sacking (circa 1988) when I was 24, was from a band who's lead singer/guitarist thought he was Paul Weller.

We were playing the Mean Fiddler in Harlesden when I turned up in a Fleetwood Mac 'Tango In The Night' T shirt.

(That album had only just recently came out IIRC)

He said that was not the image they were trying to convey. 😂

The second sacking was from a function band who wanted to play Sunday lunchtime gigs as well as the regular gigs.

I couldn't do it as I worked shifts, and had to jiggle things around so as I could do the main gigs, but could not guarantee I could be free on Sundays too.

It was quite amicable and I used to get the occasional phone call asking if I could dep when they where stuck.

 

[Phil Starr]

Don't feel bad, you haven't done anything wrong at all and like everyone else I think it's more about fit and the new direction than the so called 'pro' bassist's skills. I don't think that if they had stuck with the soul/funk thing that they would have gone there. You are looking at everything straight in the face and are coping with it well it seems to me. I've only been sacked once and it isn't nice, even though I'd pretty much decided I was going anyway it wasn't handled well. 

Musicians probably ought to be more loyal to each other. Bands that stay together do better IME and we shouldn't forget our bandmates are people worth caring about. That said look after yourself. It's not worth saying all the things you are feeling to them. Part on as good terms as you can, stay friends with the drummer and make sure he/she knows you rate and like them. Then if a project comes up you have a rhythm section good to go.

As a bassist who plays soul/funk you have really marketable skills. Start looking around when you are ready. In the end tis is just a blip.

[bazzbass]

it's done, move on

[Monkey Steve]

I tend to agree with @Ricky 4000 that it's a bit/lot like breaking up with a girlfriend - it does feel very personal, both the sacking and the being sacked.  I've certainly had people react badly to being sacked and then spent a lot of time slagging me off and avoiding me.

In my example, it wasn't the sacking itself that was a big issue, it was more that I thought that the band would be on my side of the argument, after all we'd all come from another band together, so it was a bit of a kick to the plums to be told that no, actually they'd rather stick with this other bloke's very different/dull music.

There's a lot to be said for making it less personal, that it's purely about being a good fit for the band...though that's not half as much fun as telling the annoying band member exactly what you think of him as you swing the axe. 

But the best band I was ever in from that point of view was the one that sorted all of the music stuff out very loudly and rudely in the studio: don't like something, tell the rest of the band exactly why, argue over it as and when it occurs and get it sorted out rather than stewing over it - that's when it becomes personal.  We always left the studio as good mates, ready to go to the pub together.

In the OP's case, the fact that they already have a replacement says that they've been stewing over it for a while, rather than trying to fix it by discussing it like grown ups.

[Jimothey]

I agree with most of the other posts you’ve done nothing wrong so don’t feel bad try and try and do a side project with the drummer 

I’ve only been sacked once from the only band I was in it was completely my own fault the lead guitarist/lead vocalist tried throwing his weight about with the other band members trying to intimidate them into doing what he wanted so after a very heated argument at one of the rehearsals I really lost my rag and chinned him (but he had it coming to him) a while later I saw the other band members and they said his attitude had changed completely so my actions helped the rest of the band but not me.............😕

[NancyJohnson]

18 hours ago, Jazzmaster62 said:

Lead singer came in. Took over the band.

It's funny, this lead singer syndrome. 

The guy that I bought in to sing was already playing in a Dr Feelgood style RnB band, but he left them as he clearly felt my band (alternative/punky) were better suited to his remit.  Prior to his arrival, we were a more fun unit; it was more about having a hoot and doing the odd gig rather than being too serious about things, but gradually he just took over, like an invasive species.  The whole band became more confrontational, there were times when no one spoke to each other and the absolute testicles that we had to put up with individually made rehearsals and gigs a chore rather than a joy; thing is, while I would never question his commitment, he was an unmovable object and the rules of the band didn't seem to apply to him.  Better out of it.  Life's too short.

As an aside, last week the old band played a radio show and they were terrible, truly terrible.  I took a bit of joy out of that.

[pintspiller]

 Don't let it bother you. The other bassist is probably a mate of the vocalist or something.

My last sacking wasn't a sacking as such. I was in a blues band and our rehearsal room was closing for the Christmas break and unsure when/if they would reopen. I was told a new rehearsal venue would be found soon, but a month and a half later the band played a gig without me! The bassist was a friend who lived in the country. So no need for me.