Band's name stolen 'legally' - Crowdfunding campaign to get it back

[skankdelvar]

10 hours ago, lozkerr said:

Or perhaps Mr Del Var could be persuaded out of retirement again? I'll drive.

From a quick search of Mr Carruthers' name I suspect there are any number of people who might relish a face-to-face encounter with him.

If you're going to drive I'd recommend you hire a minibus. In any event, let's hope the legal beagles can resolve matters to our satisfaction.

[lozkerr]

1 hour ago, skankdelvar said:

If you're going to drive I'd recommend you hire a minibus.

Great minds think alike... I was planning to source a big tour bus from the fleet parked outside Edinburgh Castle. Plenty of seats, full air-con and tinted windows, so you can get tooled up without worrying about being seen. Foreign plates too, so no risk of being detected by ANPR. And they burn well.

[skankdelvar]

16 hours ago, lozkerr said:

Great minds think alike... I was planning to source a big tour bus from the fleet parked outside Edinburgh Castle. Plenty of seats, full air-con and tinted windows, so you can get tooled up without worrying about being seen. Foreign plates too, so no risk of being detected by ANPR. And they burn well.

I detect the hand of a seasoned professional in these proposed arrangements. Although I'm now retired please don't hesitate to send me your details so I can pass them on to an Albanian of my acquaintance who's got something lined up. Arian's a lovely chap but try not to stare at his hair hairy lip. He's a bit touchy about it.

Edited July 27, 2019 by skankdelvar
edit for typo

[phil.c60]

Hair Lip ? His moustache?? or Hare Lip, a cleft palate? I'm intrigued......

Edited July 27, 2019 by phil.c60

[skankdelvar]

6 hours ago, phil.c60 said:

Hair Lip ? His moustache?? or Hare Lip, a cleft palate? I'm intrigued......

My apologies for the typo in my post above. My friend and former business associate Mr Arian (redacted) is neither moustachioed nor possessed of a cleft palate. It is simply the case that those who hail from his particular mountain village of Kukësa exhibit a localised genetic abnormality which causes excessive hair growth on the lower lip. Not below the lip, like an inverted moustache or a goatee beard, but actually upon the lip. Hence, poor Arian has a hairy lip - which is what my original post should have made clear and to which end I have corrected my error.

Mr (redacted) is sensitive about this abnormality in part because neighbouring villages have traditionally cast scorn upon 'the Kukësa lip' and oft-times joke about Kukësaians fellating the mountain Ibex indigenous to that part of Albania. To this day Arian feels the whiplash of shame and is not unnaturally prey to sudden outbreaks of extreme violence should he feel he is in any way being disrespected.

In drawing @lozkerr's attention to Arian's chief visual characteristic I was animadverting her to the potentially catastrophic outcome of even appearing to notice his lip-beard. The last chap to do so ended up with a K-Bar knife in his eye. 

Edited July 27, 2019 by skankdelvar

[lozkerr]

3 hours ago, skankdelvar said:

In drawing @lozkerr's attention to Arian's chief visual characteristic I was animadverting her to the potentially catastrophic outcome of even appearing to notice his lip-beard. The last chap to do so ended up with a K-Bar knife in his eye. 

I would like to proffer my profound thanks for that timely and sage advice. While it would never occur to me to comment on a colleague's physical peculiarities, it would not do to display an involuntary reaction. Particularly as I have just been contacted by a 'Mr A' inquiring about a bus. Speedy work, Mr Del Var. I trust he pays promptly?

[skankdelvar]

32 minutes ago, lozkerr said:

Speedy work, Mr Del Var. I trust he pays promptly?

Arian's a lovely chap, a rotund little ball of fun when he's not stabbing Triad envoys in the eye; but it's his older brother Fatbardh who takes care of the money. 50% upfront, 50% within 28 days is the deal, all expenses must be receipted, so pretty much industry standard.

Thankfully, Fatbardh doesn't have the Kukësa lip, but try not to notice his missing ear, nose, hand and foot, his twitch, his shrill, high-pitched voice and his inability to pronounce the letters R, W and Y. Other than that it's a cakewalk.

[phil.c60]

Thanks for clearing that up. A thousand apologies for even casting a shadow of an infinitesimal doubt upon your lexicographical excellence. He sounds like a lovely man when unless he is riled. A bit like a certain Ronnie from days gone by, although I must point out that I am in no way making any suggestions regarding his personal persuasions - I don't think I would want to be on his bad side due to  a misunderstanding (or at all, come to that). You nay, however, have inadvertently given away a clue as to the gentleman's surname: as his brothers name is Fatbardh, I suspect it may be Stadt?

Edited July 28, 2019 by phil.c60

[3below]

45 minutes ago, phil.c60 said:

Thanks for clearing that up. A thousand apologies for even casting a shadow of an infinitesimal doubt upon your lexicographical excellence. He sounds like a lovely man when unless he is riled. A bit like a certain Ronnie from days gone by, although I must point out that I am in no way making any suggestions regarding his personal persuasions - I don't think I would want to be on his bad side due to  a misunderstanding (or at all, come to that). You nay, however, have inadvertently given away a clue as to the gentleman's surname: as his brothers name is Fatdardh, I suspect it may be Stadt?

Not wishing to worry you, but In the interests of personal safety, you may wish to redact your last sentence.  Publicly identifying (or even appertaining to) such personas has given some strange and seemingly inexplicable occurrences.  One can only wonder how Raoul came to swallow two golfing 9 irons and a boule de Pétanque whilst roof riding a TGV. Why a gentleman would require two 9 irons is beyond reason.

Edited July 28, 2019 by 3below

[Skinnyman]

2 hours ago, 3below said:

Why a gentleman would require two 9 irons is beyond reason. 

It is the height of vulgarity.

But then again, no gentleman would ride the TGV, within or atop.

I think we can all agree that, whatever other qualities he may have possessed, the late, unlamented Raoul was no gentleman.

[Teebs]

5 minutes ago, Skinnyman said:

It is the height of vulgarity.

But then again, no gentleman would ride the TGV, within or atop.

I think we can all agree that, whatever other qualities he may have possessed, the late, unlamented Raoul was no gentleman.

A veritable cad, sir!

And probably a bounder to boot!

Certainly no gentleman, and worse...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

... a golfer!

*shudders with horror*

[3below]

4 hours ago, Skinnyman said:

It is the height of vulgarity.

But then again, no gentleman would ride the TGV, within or atop.

I think we can all agree that, whatever other qualities he may have possessed, the late, unlamented Raoul was no gentleman.

Whilst I personally would not cast doubt on the late Raoul's status (since I value my long term well-being), the TGV roof riding incident raises many unanswered questions and few answers about his standing.  Clearly Raoul could afford the TGV fare, in fact if the Marseille commérage is only half true, he could have purchased a TGV. So why did Raoul feel the need to wear handcuffs on each hand attached to the pantograph? What was the significance of the ample amounts of foie gras on the soles of his shoes? Why was he unshaven at that time of day? One might suspect foul play by other parties.

Edited July 28, 2019 by 3below

[Skinnyman]

23 minutes ago, 3below said:

Whilst I personally would not cast doubt on the late Raoul's status (since I value my long term well-being), the TGV roof riding incident raises many unanswered questions and few answers about his standing.  Clearly Raoul could afford the TGV fare, in fact if the Marseille commérage is only half true, he could have purchased a TGV. So why did Raoul feel the need to wear handcuffs on each hand attached to the pantograph? What was the significance of the ample amounts of foie gras on the soles of his shoes? Why was he unshaven at that time of day? One might suspect foul play by other parties.

You pose a number of intriguing questions. If Raoul had been travelling on Southern trains there would have been no mystery. Indeed, the only question would have been whether he'd paid for the first class ticket.

But on the TGV? One's curiosity is quite rightly picqued.

But, as you say, it may be best not to dig too deep. The executives of Southern trains can be a prickly bunch....

[bazzbass]

and to think lawyers got involved in the music biz to help stop artists from being ripped off......