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gallowayphantom
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Cut the body off and fit a teachest 🙂

Sorry!

Nearest you'll get is flatwound strings, ideally several years old (not a joke), bridge pickup, tone right down and some foam tucked under the strings near the bridge to kill the sustain (not a joke either - some basses have mutes - especially old ones).

 

My late mum's story was that when her brother and his friends used to play jazz, the first job was to smoke cigars to fill the room with dense smoke... probably why she got into skiffle.

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