Just knew I shouldn't have said yes to a band.

[Monkey Steve]

On 14/09/2019 at 16:09, Dan Dare said:

True. If a band is merely a group of people who do it for fun, with no aim or goal (gigs, fame and fortune, sex, drugs, etc), then one cannot (and should not) attempt to crack the whip at them. They are paying to be there, after all. It's different if there is paid work at stake, of course. 

I don't really agree with this.  Regardless of the pay, the band has to share a certain level of shared goals and ambitions.  Even if the aim is to get together once a week and run through some songs, if one band member is stopping the others being able to do that because of their attitude then that's a problem that should be sorted out.

Perhaps it's showing, but I'm sick of the odd band member (usually the lead guitarist, but that's just my experience) who uses the "I'm only doing this for fun so I'm not doing anything that I don't want to do" excuse while expecting all of the other band members to do exactly what they want to do regardless of whether they are enjoying it.

Of course, if you're the only one who finds it annoying, then, like the OP, maybe it's you that needs to leave

[Bluewine]

9 hours ago, Monkey Steve said:

I don't really agree with this.  Regardless of the pay, the band has to share a certain level of shared goals and ambitions.  Even if the aim is to get together once a week and run through some songs, if one band member is stopping the others being able to do that because of their attitude then that's a problem that should be sorted out.

Perhaps it's showing, but I'm sick of the odd band member (usually the lead guitarist, but that's just my experience) who uses the "I'm only doing this for fun so I'm not doing anything that I don't want to do" excuse while expecting all of the other band members to do exactly what they want to do regardless of whether they are enjoying it.

Of course, if you're the only one who finds it annoying, then, like the OP, maybe it's you that needs to leave

That's an acceptable argument , however finding guys with shared goals and ambition could be a challenge paid or unpaid.

I don't share all the same goals and ambitions of my band members but I'm a hired hand and they're paying me. So I always show up and I show up prepared for all gigs and rehearsals.

Blue

[Rich]

On 12/09/2019 at 08:24, BrunoBass said:

Makes me realise how lucky I am to be in a band with people I actually quite like, who learn the songs they’re supposed to learn, turn up on time, don’t miss rehearsals etc.

This, this, this, this, and this. I'm very lucky.

[Bluewine]

1 hour ago, Rich said:

This, this, this, this, and this. I'm very lucky.

I'm also lucky to work with good smart people in my band. Very lucky.

Blue

[Bluewine]

On 15/09/2019 at 12:47, T-Bay said:

It’s more than that though, one of my bands looks to be winding down. It was started with an agreement on the sort of music we were going to be playing but after 6 months the vocalist started vetoing songs that fitted perfectly with the original genres and suggesting stuff that didn’t (70s disco songs for a band formed to play 80s-90s alternative rock) and the drummer is happy to go along. Everyone in the band is sober reliable and I love rehearsals but the music being suggested is stuff that I hate. A case of the classic ‘musical differences’ I suppose. It’s frustrating as it’s a band full of people I really enjoy being in a band with but can’t see a way to find enough music to fit in a common ground. It would be fair to say that the vocalist was perhaps a little reticent to say what she really wanted to be doing at the start, it would have saved a lot of time if she had though as you need to be honest so people are all comfortable with a project.

 

It sounds like what type of material you play is a priority. How you find that depends on a lot of variables.

We're all different, I don't hate anything we play , however I play a lot of stuff that's not my favorite. I'm in this for the money, gigs and the attention. Fun is a given, I always have fun.

Thing is your playing with good people, what if you found a band that played all the sort of material you enjoy but they were jerks?

I say " good people" trumps all.

Blue

Edited September 17, 2019 by Bluewine

[T-Bay]

5 hours ago, Bluewine said:

It sounds like what type of material you play is a priority. How you find that depends on a lot of variables.

We're all different, I don't hate anything we play , however I play a lot of stuff that's not my favorite. I'm in this for the money, gigs and the attention. Fun is a given, I always have fun.

Thing is your playing with good people, what if you found a band that played all the sort of material you enjoy but they were jerks?

I say " good people" trumps all.

Blue

Within reason I agree, my other band plays stuff I don’t mind with three or four songs I love in and I’m fine with that. This one is different, she is trying to put stuff like disco songs, Whitney Houston and George Michael in with hard rock/ alternative. I am a punk at heart and that is stuff I grew up despising and in my late 40s haven’t changed. If it comes on the radio it’s an instant channel change. So why would I spend my valuable spare time listening to it to learn it? As a comparison, last night I learnt I believe in a thing called love for a friend’s wedding, a song I have no time for really buts it’s not offensive so could happily play it anyway. If paying the bills relied on playing George Michael and Whitney Houston I would be a miserable individual to say the least.

[Newfoundfreedom]

1 hour ago, T-Bay said:

Within reason I agree, my other band plays stuff I don’t mind with three or four songs I love in and I’m fine with that. This one is different, she is trying to put stuff like disco songs, Whitney Houston and George Michael in with hard rock/ alternative. I am a punk at heart and that is stuff I grew up despising and in my late 40s haven’t changed. If it comes on the radio it’s an instant channel change. So why would I spend my valuable spare time listening to it to learn it? As a comparison, last night I learnt I believe in a thing called love for a friend’s wedding, a song I have no time for really buts it’s not offensive so could happily play it anyway. If paying the bills relied on playing George Michael and Whitney Houston I would be a miserable individual to say the least.

I grew up listening to, and loving, Rock and Metal. The guitarist in my former band constantly wanted to do The Shadows. There were definitely early warning signs it wasn't going to end well. 

[Monkey Steve]

14 hours ago, Bluewine said:

That's an acceptable argument , however finding guys with shared goals and ambition could be a challenge paid or unpaid.

I don't share all the same goals and ambitions of my band members but I'm a hired hand and they're paying me. So I always show up and I show up prepared for all gigs and rehearsals.

Blue

In these terms, what I mean by goals and ambitions can be both micro (learning all these songs for the next rehearsal) and macro (we want to be playing paying gigs every weekend).  Sounds to me that you are aligned to the rest of the band in those terms - perhaps because they are paying you, but as long as you are ready and able to do all that is required by the other band members, i don't see a conflict

[Bluewine]

2 hours ago, Monkey Steve said:

In these terms, what I mean by goals and ambitions can be both micro (learning all these songs for the next rehearsal) and macro (we want to be playing paying gigs every weekend).  Sounds to me that you are aligned to the rest of the band in those terms - perhaps because they are paying you, but as long as you are ready and able to do all that is required by the other band members, i don't see a conflict

True, there's really no conflict.

I have issues with certain song choices , I have issues with not being able to make song suggestions , but I never complain or broach these issues with any of the other band members,. No complaints means no conglict.

Keep in mind none of these issues were sprung on me out of nowhere. I knew what I was getting into when I joined the band 8 years ago. I think it's different for guys that sign on for one thing and get something else, which seems to be the case with the OP.

 

Blue

[MrDaveTheBass]

12 hours ago, Bluewine said:

What if you found a band that played all the sort of material you enjoy but they were jerks?

I did exactly this, and it was a terrible, terrible experience. They sucked all of the joy out of playing for me. ☹️

Now, I'll only ever play with decent human beings. You can always improve someone's musical skills, and play to their strengths and talents, but you can never fix an rusty bullethole's bad attitude.

[Monkey Steve]

1 hour ago, Bluewine said:

True, there's really no conflict.

I have issues with certain song choices , I have issues with not being able to make song suggestions , but I never complain or broach these issues with any of the other band members,. No complaints means no conglict.

Keep in mind none of these issues were sprung on me out of nowhere. I knew what I was getting into when I joined the band 8 years ago. I think it's different for guys that sign on for one thing and get something else, which seems to be the case with the OP.

 

Blue

have you just never brought it up? or have you made suggestions before and been knocked back?

I've made a couple of friendly suggestion while depping for an originals band that were dismissed, but no conflict as it was always their show and their choice. 

For covers bands I've always taken the view that I'm OK playing a few songs that aren't my favourites or wouldn't be my choice, but you need to compromise to keep everybody happy.  But then I've never been the hired hand or relied on the gigs for my income, and would happily have left if the band started playing a lot of material that I actively disliked

 

[HengistPod]

I'm currently in a similar space to the OP ... I put an awful lot of effort into the last band I was in (photos, videos, designed logos, made the backdrop by hand, thanking gigs on FB, creating and sending out posters, buying lights and PA, and investing in new gear for myself) only to be kicked out on the say-so of one little strumpet who pulled all our gigs at her pub because I had a disagreement with her (non-band, and not in the context of the band at all).

The guys sided with the ratbag landlady rather than telling her to stick her (half fee) gigs. This shocked me somewhat, having thought that they were among my best and most trusty mates- and I've kind of lost faith in the whole thing now.

But I do have a couple of guys who've asked me to contribute to originals, so we'll see how that goes. Not retired entirely just yet ... but I can't see me getting involved in the local covers band scene again.

[Bluewine]

1 hour ago, Monkey Steve said:

have you just never brought it up? or have you made suggestions before and been knocked back?

I've made a couple of friendly suggestion while depping for an originals band that were dismissed, but no conflict as it was always their show and their choice. 

For covers bands I've always taken the view that I'm OK playing a few songs that aren't my favourites or wouldn't be my choice, but you need to compromise to keep everybody happy.  But then I've never been the hired hand or relied on the gigs for my income, and would happily have left if the band started playing a lot of material that I actively disliked

 

Yes, on occasion I have suggested songs and been rejected. Who knows, maybe my suggestions were not that good. As long as the bookings stay strong everybody is happy. I really don't mind at all.

I really think most band discussions and issues are different when your delendent on the income from gigging. 

At 66 I'm very lucky to be gigging consistently and having fun. Material, not really a big deal for me.

Blue

Edited September 17, 2019 by Bluewine

[Guest MoJo]

On 12/09/2019 at 09:37, LewisK1975 said:

MY biggest annoyance too - Turn up for a rehearsal and it's clear when someone hasn't been learning their parts individually.

'Have you learned the song mate?'

'Yeah I had a quick listen'

I hate this too

[Monkey Steve]

1 minute ago, Bluewine said:

Yes, on occasion I have suggested songs and been rejected. As long as the bookings stay strong everybody is happy. I really don't mind at all.

I really think most band discussions and issues are different when your delendent on the income from gigging. 

Blue

There's also something to be said for a strong band leader who keeps the band on message rather than letting band members make choices that the audience would not appreciate.  It's sometimes a mistake to play your favourite songs rather than the audience's favourites, and I've been in bands which have learned something that one of the band members has insisted we do, only to see it greeted with complete silence by the crowd because it's not what they've come to hear

Equally I've seen strong BL's ruin a set by making the band play all of their favourite songs rather than putting any thought into making it appealing to the audience, so i guess it doesn't really matter who picks the songs as long as they are the right ones

[Bluewine]

6 hours ago, Monkey Steve said:

There's also something to be said for a strong band leader who keeps the band on message rather than letting band members make choices that the audience would not appreciate.  It's sometimes a mistake to play your favourite songs rather than the audience's favourites, and I've been in bands which have learned something that one of the band members has insisted we do, only to see it greeted with complete silence by the crowd because it's not what they've come to hear

Equally I've seen strong BL's ruin a set by making the band play all of their favourite songs rather than putting any thought into making it appealing to the audience, so i guess it doesn't really matter who picks the songs as long as they are the right ones

Agreed. 100%.

We have a young,  strong, smart female BL who is a big picture thinker.

The band really doesnt need any dated ideas from a 66 year old thats been in the biz since 1966. What was cool for my generation is probably not worth much today.

Blue

[Bluewine]

6 hours ago, MoJo said:

I hate this too

And there's not much you can do about it. I have a rehearsal tonight where we're going to play 2 new songs. I know both inside out. I'm arriving prepared. If you show up unprepared there's nothing I can do about. I'm only responsible for me.

Blue