Going to see your old band

[radiophonic]

I'm not usually one to look back but I ended up catching my old band twice this weekend. We never used to hang out - we were just bandmates.  This is the first time in 30 odd years of playing that I've been in this position. I think they've been through about 3 bass players since I left a year ago, and there had been other significant changes too, meaning that it wasn't simply like 'bumping into your ex'. Still an odd experience though and I did detect a little bit of, not tension exactly but definitely a vibe. It was the new bass players first and second gig too, so no pressure. FWIW, I thought the old songs from the EP we did, sounded less convincing but the new song fitted their new style really well. Hard to say that diplomatically though but I did find myself willing them on a bit. Any similar experiences. How did you feel about it?

[FinnDave]

I'm depping next Saturday with the band I left a year ago. That should be an interesting experience!

Edited September 16, 2019 by FinnDave

[EliasMooseblaster]

I've only been able to do it once - usually when I've left a band, it's because something's been a bit off, and sure enough, I've bumped into one of them later on to find that the band ran out of steam and eventually folded.

But one group kept on going, and found another bassist, and so I was able to go and watch them with their new lineup. We'd parted on good terms (I just didn't have enough time to spare to keep playing with them), so it wasn't awkward - quite the opposite, it was nice to catch up with them all, and the new lineup (and new material) sounded good.

And by curious concidence, a few years later, I started a new job and was welcomed into the office on my first day by...their new bass player. Small world...

[Stylon Pilson]

I've only left a band twice. The first time was in 2010. The band got a replacement bass player, and kept going, but I never went to one of their gigs. They haven't gigged in over a year so I guess they might have run out of steam.

The last time was about a year ago. It was one of those bands that never seemed to really pick up much momentum. They've done two gigs since then, and I went to the second one, where I discovered that the lead guitarist was also leaving them. If I were a betting man, I'd say that it's probably the final nail in the coffin for them.

Every other band I've been in has either stopped through consensus, or just faded away into the mists.

S.P.

[Newfoundfreedom]

Although I haven't seen them play yet, I regularly socialise with all my ex band mates, two of whom have gone out as a duo whilst looking for new members. The remaining four of us plan on doing something together soon, and 5 out of the 6 of us have a gig on Friday which we committed to before the band broke up. So all very amicable. 

[Lozz196]

I’ve been to see my old band a few times. I left as I was no longer enjoying it and didn’t want to hang around and be the one who drags it all down. Was great seeing them and both hearing the old songs I played on, and the newer ones showing their new direction.

[Monkey Steve]

Like @Stylon Pilson my bands tend to break up at the point I leave, but I have had a couple of experiences from the  other side, having the former band member that I had replaced come to see the band.

Where the exit was on good terms, it wasn't an issue - my predecessor was perfectly nice to me, mentioned that having seen us play made him realise that he was missing being in a band, but didn't expect to return (and the band made a point of telling me that this wasn't on the cards, in fact I'd suggested that he could get up and play a couple of songs and they wouldn't have it). 

I was playing guitar in that band, and we had something similar with the bass player - left on good terms, was replaced, and came to see us a couple of time, and was no bother at all.  But the difference was that on realising how much he missed being in the band he then asked about coming back...and being a founder member and a much better bass player than his replacement, he got his wish

I depped for a band and had two previous bass players at two different gigs, both of whom had left under less than good circumstances.  One was in the main support band.  He basically ignored me all night, while being little more than civil with the rest of the band.  They finished, packed up and left, so I'm not sure how much (if any) of us he saw. 

The next night the immediate bass predecessor was at the gig (having spat out his dummy and quit at short notice, hence me depping).  I knew him reasonably well and there were no hard feelings whatsoever, although he did admit to missing being in the band and wanting them to ask him to come back, which I passed on to the band but they'd already decided on his permanent replacement.

[12stringbassist]

To a large extent, I try to avoid going watching people I've played with in the past, unless they are great mates of mine. I expect what they are doing to sound at least something like it used to, if they are doing the same stuff we did. My problem not theirs.

I got dragged (a while ago) to watch a guy who used to sing with a band I was in years ago, when I was first in bands. His new band are doing quite well, but I don't think, from what I have seen on video and from my brief viewing of them in person, that they are actually that good. They have a brilliant set list, but they are carried by goodwill, rather than a great sound. People have said it to me, which made me look at their videos after seeing a few songs played by them in person.

Another guy I used to play with has lazily surrounded himself with his mates, rather than players at his brilliant level of ability, and it really irks me that he isn't playing to his potential and has a rather scrappy band around him. I've seen him wince onstage a few times at mistakes.

I did once travel to see a band in Horwich, (only a short distance from me, that I was actually on sick leave from following a serious life-saving operation). I only stayed for the first half, as I really didn't like the venue at all and was glad to get out. I also listened to what the dep bass player was doing to the songs and naturally it set off some sort of an OCD that I didn't know that I had. It sounded WRONG because he was a very different bass player. He made some utter howlers that the band either didn't notice or care about and I was so put off by this mess that I made concrete plans to give my notice in to leave in a few months. Best thing I did in the last ten years.

[NancyJohnson]

Never had any desire to go and see my old band...it took a while to get over everything that happened, so why bother?  I've moved on.  I understand that, without me as primary writer, it's taken two years for them to expunge my material from their set and I'm advised the new songs sound like someone throwing scrap metal down a concrete stairwell.

Interestingly, from a Rock Family Tree perspective, the current line up of that band doesn't have a single member from the original line up, but past members have spawned other bands, so that's a good thing.  My current project (Lutz) contains three ex-members and interestingly myself and three other ex-members are having a beery evening shortly to discuss throwing something together. 

[lowregisterhead]

39 minutes ago, NancyJohnson said:

 I'm advised the new songs sound like someone throwing scrap metal down a concrete stairwell.

What a fantastic description!!

[Stylon Pilson]

7 hours ago, 12stringbassist said:

He made some utter howlers that the band either didn't notice or care about

Or perhaps they both noticed and cared about them, but they were being professionals about it. It's generally considered poor form to respond to a mistake by instantly turning and glaring at the person who made it.

S.P.

[NikNik]

Done that several times over the decades. And every time it was a 'meh' experience. Probably because I had left through a major disagreement. But always, to me, the songs sounded different with another bassist. Not saying I did any better, but they just weren't the same. Always left early, too.

[12stringbassist]

59 minutes ago, Stylon Pilson said:

Or perhaps they both noticed and cared about them, but they were being professionals about it. It's generally considered poor form to respond to a mistake by instantly turning and glaring at the person who made it.

S.P.

The band's general sloppiness and lack of musicality was the main reason I wanted to leave them (they played a lot of howlers themselves) as well as an OCD drummer who offered me outside for a fight once, when I asked for a turn on the mp3 player thru the PA. 

[NikNik]

3 minutes ago, 12stringbassist said:

The band's general sloppiness and lack of musicality was the main reason I wanted to leave them (they played a lot of howlers themselves) as well as an OCD drummer who offered me outside for a fight once, when I asked for a turn on the mp3 player thru the PA. 

?? What's all that about??

[Monkey Steve]

This does seem to be coming down to the personalities involved and the terms on which people left

Reminds me of a singer who left one of my bands - completely his decision, although one that was welcomed by most of the band because he really couldn't sing.  We replaced him with someone who was much better, and on the face of it singist #1 took it all OK, came to quite a few of our gigs and seemed generally supportive.  But it was noticeable that he kept trying to get himself invited on stage and singist #2, out of politeness would let him, very much the lowlight of the evening.  The invites were withdrawn and he then stopped coming to the gigs, and started becoming less than complimentary about the band.

This was about 25 years ago, and he's never had a good word to say about any of the subsequent musical ventures of any of the band members, usually being quite dismissive - he flat out refused to come and see one band that i was in with the drummer on the basis that he'd seen up play before and didn't need to see us again

[radiophonic]

I didn't fall out with my former band, but they were mighty whizzed off when I left. I think they understood my reasons though, A major issue was the seriously bad attitude of one particular band member, which in my view was holding back the music. In the end they fired her and changed musical direction, so I think I was on the right side of history. It was just a bit unfortunate that they had bad luck with the bass players that followed. I figured I'd be fairly replaceable in a big city, but there finding the right player does seem to be a problem for them. Hence the slight tension.

[Cat Burrito]

I've done it a few times and it doesn't phase me. I think I'm usually in a place where I acknowledge all aspects of what has happened (& why) so just go and enjoy it. I can't think of an occasion where I haven't enjoyed the performance. A different story seeing my old Sixth Form band after I got kicked out. We're all older and wiser now :)

[Teebs]

5 hours ago, NancyJohnson said:

...the new songs sound like someone throwing scrap metal down a concrete stairwell.

Fabulous description!

And also good for metal, presumably?

[Hobbayne]

1 hour ago, NikNik said:

?? What's all that about??

I assume the drummer has dibs on what music is played in the breaks.

 

[Monkey Steve]

10 hours ago, 12stringbassist said:

Another guy I used to play with has lazily surrounded himself with his mates, rather than players at his brilliant level of ability, and it really irks me that he isn't playing to his potential and has a rather scrappy band around him. I've seen him wince onstage a few times at mistakes.
 

There's a former band mate of mine who does something very similar.  While he has some limitations, and I've played with much better guitarists, he's got an excellent tone for solos and is very good for the local pub covers scene.  But he seems to deliberately pick bands with not very good rhythm guitarists, who he's happy to keep around.  In fact despite the fact that he spent half his time complaining about how bad the rhythm guitarist was in our band (and he had a point), he then recruited him when starting his next band. In fact as i recall he was the one who invited the rhythm guitarist to be in our band as he'd played with him before, so that's at least three bands he's been in with a guitarist that he knows isn't very good

Seems to me to be an ego thing, that he wants everybody to see that he's the best musician on stage, rather than wanting the band to be the best it can be

[12stringbassist]

1 hour ago, NikNik said:

?? What's all that about??

I was talking about going to watch my (un-named) old band while on sick leave from them after cancer surgery. They had a dep who was fumbling his way through the set and at that point, I realised how lacking my band mates were and made up my mind to wait a while, then give in my notice and leave them. The mention of the drummer's personality disorder about various things (I've never seen anybody cry at a soundcheck before and never want to again) and their sloppiness was a continuation and justification of why I decided I was leaving them at that point.

Edited September 17, 2019 by 12stringbassist

[Nicko]

Ive seen a band I used to play with - although they re-branded following the origial band split the set list is largely the same and vox and guitar are the same people.  I also depped for them on one occaision.

Ironically the band split up over a disagreement between the guitarist and drummer on gig bookings which led to toys being hurled so far out of the pram they really needed export paperwork.  I was caught in the middle and chose not to take sides. The band is now doing a lot more gigging and to be honest I would probably have left diue to them requiring too much commitment.

They're no better or worse than they were when I was with them, but when I played with them I got the impression they weren't actually enjoying it as much as they used to.

They've also been to see my new band play (and lent me their PA) which shows its never a good idea to burn your bridges.