Losing the Passion

[Linus27]

Has anyone else ever got to the point where they lose the passion or the fire in their belly, certainly for playing but also for music? I’m fast approaching 50 next June and I’ve played bass since the age of 18. That will be 32 years next year and it’s all I have done and known. I’ve been very lucky with my bass playing, from playing in some amazing bands, with incredible experiences and made a healthy sum of money over the years. I’ve been on TV and Radio, had a record deal, released albums, been on tour with some big names and played at some amazing venues. I’m currently in a great band, earning a nice little chunk of money that helps pay for niceties whilst the full time job pays for the bills etc.

 

The thing is, I’m just not feeling it and have little to no passion to keep doing it. The band members are fine and we meet up for regular socials and the music is good as well (50’s/60’s rock n roll) but I just don’t enjoy getting up in front of people and performing any more. It’s not that the gigs are rubbish either, we play mostly clubs and always have an audience up singing and dancing and go down a storm. We did 119 gigs last year, about 100 this year and could easily match that next year but we’ve consciously cut back to about 40 for next year. Even with just those few, I’m struggling to get any enthusiasm to continue. Then there’s the time spent loading the car, going to the venue, setting everything up, playing set 1, entertaining, break, playing set 2, entertaining, packing up, driving home and unloading. Plus all the time to update Lemonrock, Facebook, making posters, replying to emails and all the other things associated with a band.

 

I know I am in a very fortunate position to be in such a great band and earning good money but I’m no longer excited about going out to play a gig, entertaining people or playing bass. I think I’m just feeling old a little, or maybe feeling my age, feeling conscious and uncomfortable being up in front of people. Playing in a club band you have to provide some entertainment and being visual and I much prefer to be the bass player in the back grooving away in the shadows. Another alarm bell for me is I have a new bass being built and on its way and I’m not even that remotely excited about it, wish I hadn’t decided to get it and already considering selling it and I’ve not even seen or played it yet. Normally I would be bursting with excitement.

 

This is also going to sound very arrogant maybe but playing bass and music doesn’t even challenge me anymore. Playing in my current band was out of my comfort zone but within a few months I was on it to the point of actually getting some dep. work with similar groups which has never happened to me before. So to challenge myself further I decided I would play fretless which I’ve done in the past but even that wasn’t a challenge and I was doing it after the first gig. I’m no virtuoso, far from it but I am solid and can hold my own.

 

What I’m worried about is if I stop, then what do I do with myself. I don’t want to be bored, mope about and get fat. I like to throw myself into something and to live it which is what I have done with music and playing bass for the last 32 years. I’ve been amateur, pro and I guess semi-pro right now so to stop is going to leave quite a hole to fill. However, fast approaching 50, I’m no youngster so can’t just go and take up surfing or kick boxing. I’m considering getting a double bass and spending the time to learn to play it to a good standard but then I’m worried that if I have lost the passion for music and playing, is it just going to be a waste of time. I guess nobody knows the answer to that until I try.

 

Has anyone else been in a similar position and called it a day and hung up their bass and not looked back? In my head I would like to try and do next year's gigs as that would at least get me to 50. Plus it gives me another year to see how I feel but right now and for the last 3 months, I've struggled to find the motivation and interest to keep going.

Edited October 2, 2019 by Linus27

[chris_b]

Find a good teacher and have some bass lessons designed to push you in new directions. A breath of fresh air and being pushed to achieve by someone else can jump start your interest.

I did that last year and while it hasn't dramatically changed me, I play better lines and with more confidence as a result.

[odysseus]

28 minutes ago, Linus27 said:

 However, fast approaching 50, I’m no youngster so can’t just go and take up surfing...

Yeah you can... get a longboard or a large mini-mal.  I'm pushing 50 and I surf. 😀

 

I would say just have a break for a few months. Don't sell your gear.  See how you feel after that... whether it is music in general, bass, bands, gigs, or whatever that is causing you to lose your passion.  See which , if any, you miss and take it from there.  

I think many of us need to take a break once in a while.  I don't know many people that keep hammering away at it and still enjoy it. 

[DaveFry]

Don't fear that getting a double bass would be a waste of time .
I started with one at 50 , wish I had started at 15 .

[mikel]

If you are not enjoying gigging and its not your main source of income then give it up. Its a no brainer. If you do something mainly for fun, but its no longer fun then don't do it. Who knows, after a while you might crave it again. Give it a rest and see what happens.

[mr4stringz]

I’ve canned it a few times, sometimes for a few years. It’s always worked well for me. Alternatively, have you considered (while a little left field) learning a different instrument? I did this with the uke a few years back and, maybe because I wasn’t putting any time or effort into bass, it got my love for playing bass back.

 

 

[Woodinblack]

I think honestly if I was doing 115 gigs a year I would hate it too. On those months where we do 5-8 gigs I start disliking it, and the annoyances of the band build up. But I haven't got a gig for 3 weeks now so I am going to be really crawling the walls by then. Just cut down, or even stop. I stopped for a while.

Or try a different style. If you are doing a 50s rnr thing, learn a double bass. Or something else.

[Monkey Steve]

My reaction to your post is that you sound like you need a new challenge. Do you actively like the music you’re playing? Cos it sounds like you’re a bit bored of it.  Time to look for something new, especially if you’re not depending on the income so it might not matter if you find a different band that is less busy or not as well paid, if you enjoy the playing more?

ive just hit 50, and while I would t say my enthusiasm for playing is any less when I’m actually playing, over the last few years I’m  not so bothered about periods where I’m not in bands or playing gigs. I tend to think it’ll pick up at some point and it usually does, at least enough to keep my hand in. Haven’t played a gig since Easter... just been asked to do some stuff i the New Year...brilliant

a drummer mate of a similar vintage had a couple of years of not playing, for family reasons, but coming back to it now has a real passion, playing a couple of gigs most weekends in a. couple of bands.  Perhaps you just need some time off so that you start missing it

[lownote]

55 minutes ago, mikel said:

If you are not enjoying gigging and its not your main source of income then give it up. Its a no brainer. If you do something mainly for fun, but its no longer fun then don't do it. Who knows, after a while you might crave it again. Give it a rest and see what happens.

... this.  I regularly fall out of love with bass.  I just lock it away for a while and I'm soon back.  32 years is a long while.

Any road, what's all this twaddle about being 'almost 50', like it's end of t'road?   I haven't seen 50 for 15 years and still strut my stuff - if a little forgetfully at times.   

Edited October 2, 2019 by lownote12

[CamdenRob]

I don’t think I’ve ever had a fire in the belly passion for it to be honest... Music is very much one of several hobbies for me 😊

I suspect that alongside a lack of the required talent, a possible blocker to my never having “made it” is that given a straight up choice between music and silence, I prefer silence 😐

[Linus27]

Thanks guys for the replies, really appreciate it. What I've got from what you've said is that maybe a break is what's needed so maybe see the year out. Find a new challenge and the double bass is still a good idea so maybe bang the gigging on the head and spend 2020 focussing on that. 

[Linus27]

15 minutes ago, CamdenRob said:

I don’t think I’ve ever had a fire in the belly passion for it to be honest... Music is very much one of several hobbies for me 😊

I suspect that alongside a lack of the required talent, a possible blocker to my never having “made it” is that given a straight up choice between music and silence, I prefer silence 😐

For me it's been the opposite, I even get some days where I just want to hold a bass and feel the neck in my hands. It's been my passion  and energy from day 1.

[4000]

2 hours ago, Linus27 said:

Has anyone else ever got to the point where they lose the passion or the fire in their belly, certainly for playing but also for music? I’m fast approaching 50 next June and I’ve played bass since the age of 18. That will be 32 years next year and it’s all I have done and known. I’ve been very lucky with my bass playing, from playing in some amazing bands, with incredible experiences and made a healthy sum of money over the years. I’ve been on TV and Radio, had a record deal, released albums, been on tour with some big names and played at some amazing venues. I’m currently in a great band, earning a nice little chunk of money that helps pay for niceties whilst the full time job pays for the bills etc.

 

The thing is, I’m just not feeling it and have little to no passion to keep doing it. The band members are fine and we meet up for regular socials and the music is good as well (50’s/60’s rock n roll) but I just don’t enjoy getting up in front of people and performing any more. It’s not that the gigs are rubbish either, we play mostly clubs and always have an audience up singing and dancing and go down a storm. We did 119 gigs last year, about 100 this year and could easily match that next year but we’ve consciously cut back to about 40 for next year. Even with just those few, I’m struggling to get any enthusiasm to continue. Then there’s the time spent loading the car, going to the venue, setting everything up, playing set 1, entertaining, break, playing set 2, entertaining, packing up, driving home and unloading. Plus all the time to update Lemonrock, Facebook, making posters, replying to emails and all the other things associated with a band.

 

I know I am in a very fortunate position to be in such a great band and earning good money but I’m no longer excited about going out to play a gig, entertaining people or playing bass. I think I’m just feeling old a little, or maybe feeling my age, feeling conscious and uncomfortable being up in front of people. Playing in a club band you have to provide some entertainment and being visual and I much prefer to be the bass player in the back grooving away in the shadows. Another alarm bell for me is I have a new bass being built and on its way and I’m not even that remotely excited about it, wish I hadn’t decided to get it and already considering selling it and I’ve not even seen or played it yet. Normally I would be bursting with excitement.

 

This is also going to sound very arrogant maybe but playing bass and music doesn’t even challenge me anymore. Playing in my current band was out of my comfort zone but within a few months I was on it to the point of actually getting some dep. work with similar groups which has never happened to me before. So to challenge myself further I decided I would play fretless which I’ve done in the past but even that wasn’t a challenge and I was doing it after the first gig. I’m no virtuoso, far from it but I am solid and can hold my own.

 

What I’m worried about is if I stop, then what do I do with myself. I don’t want to be bored, mope about and get fat. I like to throw myself into something and to live it which is what I have done with music and playing bass for the last 32 years. I’ve been amateur, pro and I guess semi-pro right now so to stop is going to leave quite a hole to fill. However, fast approaching 50, I’m no youngster so can’t just go and take up surfing or kick boxing. I’m considering getting a double bass and spending the time to learn to play it to a good standard but then I’m worried that if I have lost the passion for music and playing, is it just going to be a waste of time. I guess nobody knows the answer to that until I try.

 

Has anyone else been in a similar position and called it a day and hung up their bass and not looked back? In my head I would like to try and do next year's gigs as that would at least get me to 50. Plus it gives me another year to see how I feel but right now and for the last 3 months, I've struggled to find the motivation and interest to keep going.

The last time I really felt like that I called time on my band; however I fell on my feet and was immediately asked by some friends to join a very interesting band that was light years away from what I had been doing, and it reignited the passion.

For me though, I simply have to write and play original music. I don’t know whether this is what you do, but I wouldn’t last a week playing covers, at least without also having an original outlet, because the creativity part is the only thing that really interests me; I have no interest whatsoever in playing for the sake of playing. I consider myself a writer first and a bassist a distant second. Luckily my band of the last few years generally pulls in decent crowds, and age ceased to be a factor as a lucky coincidence of deciding to go “unplugged” and being embraced by the folk (in the broader sense) fraternity, which in turn opened me up to all kinds of new music and artists, thereby further igniting my interest.

I still struggle with anxiety when playing (and when not!) and I struggle physically sometimes - I’m 55 with numerous physical issues - but I’ll continue to play whilst I’m/we’re still being creative, unless the physical problems finally get the better of me. There is one other thing though; I think without the creative outlet my personal finish line would become rather too imminent, if you get my drift, as I hate most other aspects of my life.

[CamdenRob]

50 minutes ago, Linus27 said:

For me it's been the opposite, I even get some days where I just want to hold a bass and feel the neck in my hands. It's been my passion  and energy from day 1.

That’s awesome... sorry you feel you’ve fallen out of love with it. It’s always rough to feel you’ve lost something that’s a part of your identity.

Who knows what’s round the corner though... you could be back here next week with a “I’m loving the bass again” thread 😊

[TheGreek]

I think we all suffer from the ups and downs of our enthusiasm for playing from time to time. In fact there are many threads just like this one. If you're not enjoying playing, of course you're going to want to throw the towel in...

Take a break, try another instrument, take up golf....DON'T sell your gear. There's a pretty good chance that in a few weeks/months/years your passion and inspiration will return and you'll kick yourself for selling your prized possessions (for what will seem like a pittance) and find that it will cost significantly more than you got to replace them.

[sykilz]

I turned 50 this year and decided , for reasons not dissimilar to yourself Linus, that I was done. I wasn't lucky enough to play at the level you did, I played in a few (IMO) decent originals bands, then latterly a good rock covers band, but there just came a day when the passion wasn't there, also playing the covers was spoiling the enjoyment of listening to music for me.

I've got myself a little Marshall and an Epiphone Les Paul, and enjoy strangling a sound out of that at home, and occasionally still play my bass at home too, but the thought of gigging leaves me cold now. I've got back into photography too, which was always a passion and still remains fun, for me.

I find that I'm enjoying listening to music a lot more now.Do what makes you happy, and enjoy it.

[Linus27]

8 minutes ago, TheGreek said:

I think we all suffer from the ups and downs of our enthusiasm for playing from time to time. In fact there are many threads just like this one. If you're not enjoying playing, of course you're going to want to throw the towel in...

Take a break, try another instrument, take up golf....DON'T sell your gear. There's a pretty good chance that in a few weeks/months/years your passion and inspiration will return and you'll kick yourself for selling your prized possessions (for what will seem like a pittance) and find that it will cost significantly more than you got to replace them.

Absolutely not selling my gear. I have the best basses and rig I have had in 32 years of playing so its all staying. Apart from the Kala SUB bass which is going towards funding the double bass ..wink, wink .. 😁

[odysseus]

2 hours ago, CamdenRob said:

 Music is very much one of several hobbies for me 😊

 

Having read that, it occurs to me that it is quite important to have more than one hobby, so you don't put all your eggs in one basket, so to speak.  I guess one reason I don't get too down on the bass is because I do other things too... weights, mountain biking, surfing, a bit of classical guitar.  Could that be an issue?  I don't know if the OP'er has any hobbies apart from bass.... 

[KingPrawn]

Hey Linus27

Refreshing to read your post. I can’t help but think is it really your music that is the issue?  On the surface it sounds like your in a great place. You’ve experienced lots of different stages musically. If you took away your music would you see things differently? What would you replace it with? You mention heading towards 50. Is this what’s driving your current state of mind. Is it triggering some sort of  negative response?  

[Roger2611]

I, like many probably read the original post and thought, "living the dream" I guess it is what most of us could only dream of achieving, I can understand getting down about the constant repetitiveness of loading, travelling, setting up etc. But would you swap it for a target based sales role or fixing ex hire cars and arguing with those that damaged it why they should pay to repair it......I thought not!

I was chatting with Gary Numan's bassist the other year and he was telling me how physically punishing it was to actually tour and how hard it was to come home from a tour and pretend to be normal for a while! I said "Tim, you own a music shop, you sell that dream to every little, and not so little kid that walks through the door and buys a bass or a guitar, to them you are living the dream that they so want" his reply was "yeah, i get what you are saying"

I can't really advise as to how to change things for the better when what you describe as your day to day existence would still be what I would call my dream job but then again, never having had that dream job I probably have no comprehension of the realities of actually living that dream!

[kusee pee]

2 hours ago, 4000 said:

 There is one other thing though; I think without the creative outlet my personal finish line would become rather too imminent, if you get my drift, as I hate most other aspects of my life.

Hey man, really sorry to hear you saying that.  I'm glad you've got the creative outlet but I hope you can find other things to keep you positive. 

[BrunoBass]

As others have said, perhaps a break is what you need. I started playing bass in bands in 1991 and continued until about 2003. I never pinpointed why but I just got bored with it, I stopped enjoying it when the hassle started to outweigh the joy. I sold my stuff and never looked back. In the intervening years I concentrated on songwriting, solo acoustic gigs and home recording, which I continue to do to this day. Then, in 2015 I suddenly had an urge to play bass again, find a band and start doing the pubs again. I bought the gear and started back on the bass path. I joined a band and four years later I’m still here, still gigging and thoroughly enjoying myself. It’s good to back.

[Burns-bass]

I would thoroughly recommend getting a double bass. I gave up playing for a few years and it help to reignite my passion for it all.

[tinyd]

Another vote for double bass. I personally find it much more satisfying when played solo than bass guitar. The sound of each note, and the effort to make them not sound crap, makes it more rewarding somehow. Also, you'll find that the economy needed to play DB will probably help your BG playing. Finally, once you reach a certain level you'll probably find yourself playing different kinds of music and maybe getting gigs in those genres.

[TimR]

What else do you do apart from play bass and work? 

Can you off-load the associated activities; lemon rock, Facebook, posters and emails? What are you unloading after a gig that’s such a chore?