Losing the Passion

[police squad]

17 hours ago, Linus27 said:

Has anyone else ever got to the point where they lose the passion or the fire in their belly, certainly for playing but also for music? I’m fast approaching 50 next June and I’ve played bass since the age of 18. That will be 32 years next year and it’s all I have done and known. I’ve been very lucky with my bass playing, from playing in some amazing bands, with incredible experiences and made a healthy sum of money over the years. I’ve been on TV and Radio, had a record deal, released albums, been on tour with some big names and played at some amazing venues. I’m currently in a great band, earning a nice little chunk of money that helps pay for niceties whilst the full time job pays for the bills etc.

 

The thing is, I’m just not feeling it and have little to no passion to keep doing it. The band members are fine and we meet up for regular socials and the music is good as well (50’s/60’s rock n roll) but I just don’t enjoy getting up in front of people and performing any more. It’s not that the gigs are rubbish either, we play mostly clubs and always have an audience up singing and dancing and go down a storm. We did 119 gigs last year, about 100 this year and could easily match that next year but we’ve consciously cut back to about 40 for next year. Even with just those few, I’m struggling to get any enthusiasm to continue. Then there’s the time spent loading the car, going to the venue, setting everything up, playing set 1, entertaining, break, playing set 2, entertaining, packing up, driving home and unloading. Plus all the time to update Lemonrock, Facebook, making posters, replying to emails and all the other things associated with a band.

 

I know I am in a very fortunate position to be in such a great band and earning good money but I’m no longer excited about going out to play a gig, entertaining people or playing bass. I think I’m just feeling old a little, or maybe feeling my age, feeling conscious and uncomfortable being up in front of people. Playing in a club band you have to provide some entertainment and being visual and I much prefer to be the bass player in the back grooving away in the shadows. Another alarm bell for me is I have a new bass being built and on its way and I’m not even that remotely excited about it, wish I hadn’t decided to get it and already considering selling it and I’ve not even seen or played it yet. Normally I would be bursting with excitement.

 

This is also going to sound very arrogant maybe but playing bass and music doesn’t even challenge me anymore. Playing in my current band was out of my comfort zone but within a few months I was on it to the point of actually getting some dep. work with similar groups which has never happened to me before. So to challenge myself further I decided I would play fretless which I’ve done in the past but even that wasn’t a challenge and I was doing it after the first gig. I’m no virtuoso, far from it but I am solid and can hold my own.

 

What I’m worried about is if I stop, then what do I do with myself. I don’t want to be bored, mope about and get fat. I like to throw myself into something and to live it which is what I have done with music and playing bass for the last 32 years. I’ve been amateur, pro and I guess semi-pro right now so to stop is going to leave quite a hole to fill. However, fast approaching 50, I’m no youngster so can’t just go and take up surfing or kick boxing. I’m considering getting a double bass and spending the time to learn to play it to a good standard but then I’m worried that if I have lost the passion for music and playing, is it just going to be a waste of time. I guess nobody knows the answer to that until I try.

 

Has anyone else been in a similar position and called it a day and hung up their bass and not looked back? In my head I would like to try and do next year's gigs as that would at least get me to 50. Plus it gives me another year to see how I feel but right now and for the last 3 months, I've struggled to find the motivation and interest to keep going.

This is exactly how I feel about it these days. I've cut right back atm and only play where and when I want. It may be an age thing but I was sick and tired of playing to and for dickheads, this includes some landlords and band members.

I've just turned 51 and have gigging since I was 17. I have virtually no interest in equipment any more. No GAS whatsoever.

But my passion for cooking curry is getting bigger!!!

Have a break mate and see how feel

[Unknown_User]

Maybe the reduced load of 40 gigs next year will feel like much less of a hassle?  Do you know what you'd do with all the time you'd free up without all those gigs?

A change can be as good as a rest, so perhaps changing to a different band doing a different style of music?  Or if you're on the cabaret circuit then maybe try joining an originals band or even writing some songs and starting your own?

[chris_b]

I'd suggest that you get a second band. A change is as good as a rest etc. And give me a call if you want to dep any gigs out.

[Linus27]

15 hours ago, 4000 said:

The last time I really felt like that I called time on my band; however I fell on my feet and was immediately asked by some friends to join a very interesting band that was light years away from what I had been doing, and it reignited the passion.

For me though, I simply have to write and play original music. I don’t know whether this is what you do, but I wouldn’t last a week playing covers, at least without also having an original outlet, because the creativity part is the only thing that really interests me; I have no interest whatsoever in playing for the sake of playing. I consider myself a writer first and a bassist a distant second. Luckily my band of the last few years generally pulls in decent crowds, and age ceased to be a factor as a lucky coincidence of deciding to go “unplugged” and being embraced by the folk (in the broader sense) fraternity, which in turn opened me up to all kinds of new music and artists, thereby further igniting my interest.

I still struggle with anxiety when playing (and when not!) and I struggle physically sometimes - I’m 55 with numerous physical issues - but I’ll continue to play whilst I’m/we’re still being creative, unless the physical problems finally get the better of me. There is one other thing though; I think without the creative outlet my personal finish line would become rather too imminent, if you get my drift, as I hate most other aspects of my life.

Originals is mostly what I have always done and had my success in although the covers band I am doing is a different type of success. From 1988 to 2012 I was in originals bands. Then I did some original studio projects in 2012 onwards including my own solo stuff and then in 2017 I joined my first cover band which is where I am right now. I certainly do miss the creativity, be it the song writing or bass line creating. There is certainly an enormous buzz and satisfaction in crafting an original piece of music and seeing it take on a life of its own.

I don't mind the originals stuff, its fun to play although very easy and it feels soulless. It feels like playing by numbers and a disconnect compared to playing your own bass lines. There's no emotional connection unlike playing your own music. Its just a totally different mindset playing in an originals band compared to a covers band, especially one that primarily plays clubs. 

[Stofferson]

Hi,

Probably about 18 years off where you are now, i'm 32 I've been playing for 18 years,

It's only the past 4/5 years it's become a lifestyle, 100+ gigs a year with our Originals band, moderate success and still chasing the "dream"

Earn enough to cover costs e.g. fuel, merch stock up etc.  day job pays for everything else.

Love what i do but i know it's not sustainable at this level, realistically would we make it? not in this day and age haha, I do have amazing memories, experiences and plenty off the bucket list, I totally understand what you mean though. Maybe try something completely different? 

Perhaps something to get your teeth into to reignite any flames? teaching? band management or advice? certainly taking up Upright would be great, or perhaps studio work, take all the things you enjoy from creating music and remove the things you don't? i know a fair few musicians who just do studio stuff only, barely gig it live. Anyway, I hope you find what you're looking for 😎

[Linus27]

14 hours ago, odysseus said:

Having read that, it occurs to me that it is quite important to have more than one hobby, so you don't put all your eggs in one basket, so to speak.  I guess one reason I don't get too down on the bass is because I do other things too... weights, mountain biking, surfing, a bit of classical guitar.  Could that be an issue?  I don't know if the OP'er has any hobbies apart from bass.... 

My other hobbies are track days but because I have been so busy for the last two years, I've not had the time to go and do any. Plus, I was so absorbed in music, I didn't have the energy to start thinking about getting the car set up to track again. However, next year, I will be getting out and doing some track days. Its quite weird but doing track days is very much like playing in a band. You usually go with some mates, staying in a hotel the night before having a few drinks and something to eat. Usually some banter and chatting about cars etc. This is not too dissimilar to going on tour and gigging with a band and hanging out between sets etc. Then on the day you do the track day, talking about all things related like how to take certain corners, how the car is handling, how its going. Very similar to talking about how the gig is going, the songs, performing etc. At the end of the day you pack up like you do at the end of a gig.

[Linus27]

14 hours ago, KingPrawn said:

Hey Linus27

Refreshing to read your post. I can’t help but think is it really your music that is the issue?  On the surface it sounds like your in a great place. You’ve experienced lots of different stages musically. If you took away your music would you see things differently? What would you replace it with? You mention heading towards 50. Is this what’s driving your current state of mind. Is it triggering some sort of  negative response?  

Quite possibly, I do sometimes think I'm a 50 year old male doing this (even though I don't look it) and feel quite conscious and uncomfortable at this situation but then I look around at other bands and they generally much older. We are actually a young band in terms of our ages but yes, maybe approaching 50 is having a negative affect. I hated hitting 30 and felt very aware of that milestone but totally loved hitting my 40's. Maybe hitting 50 is having a similar vibe to when I was hitting my 30's.

There's certainly something not right in the mix though because I don't feel 50 in terms of physically, nor do I look it and I'm know as a bit of a joker, never taking anything too seriously. Maybe it is the music, the lack of being challenged and the work load that has zapped my passion and motivation for what I'm doing. Maybe less gigs and taking up double bass will be the start of something new. 

[Linus27]

10 hours ago, tinyd said:

Another vote for double bass. I personally find it much more satisfying when played solo than bass guitar. The sound of each note, and the effort to make them not sound crap, makes it more rewarding somehow. Also, you'll find that the economy needed to play DB will probably help your BG playing. Finally, once you reach a certain level you'll probably find yourself playing different kinds of music and maybe getting gigs in those genres.

The double bass is definitely a go, especially now that my Kala SUB bass will sell over the weekend. Kind of know what double bass to go for unless a good second hand one pops up but either way, a double bass will be incoming shortly. You've actually got me excited about it from simply saying, "The sound of each note, and the effort to make them not sound crap". I love the sound anyway but having to focus, concentrate and develop the actual technique I'm really excited about.

[Linus27]

10 hours ago, TimR said:

What else do you do apart from play bass and work? 

Can you off-load the associated activities; lemon rock, Facebook, posters and emails? What are you unloading after a gig that’s such a chore? 

Yes, this is what's on the cards, to offload some of the admin stuff to other band members. Its just getting them to be more proactive.

As for the unloading, its just my bass gear (2 x basses, speaker, amp, bag) plus one of the 15" PA speakers, desk, speaker stands, mics and multicore bag. Its just the loading the car up, driving to the venue, unloading, setting the gear up, doing the gig, packing it all down, loading the car, getting home about 1am and unlading the car. Just getting a bit tiring but I'm planning on offloading some of it to other band members. The singer does have the other PA speakers and the box of all the leads and cables.

[Linus27]

1 hour ago, police squad said:

This is exactly how I feel about it these days. I've cut right back atm and only play where and when I want. It may be an age thing but I was sick and tired of playing to and for dickheads, this includes some landlords and band members.

I've just turned 51 and have gigging since I was 17. I have virtually no interest in equipment any more. No GAS whatsoever.

But my passion for cooking curry is getting bigger!!!

Have a break mate and see how feel

I've noticed a total lack of gas over the last 3 months as well. I used to drive my wife mad looking and wanted new basses all the time but something has clicked and now my current 3 basses are perfectly good enough and tick all the boxes. Its even to the point of looking at it sensibly and convincing myself I don't need any other basses.

[Linus27]

1 hour ago, chris_b said:

I'd suggest that you get a second band. A change is as good as a rest etc. And give me a call if you want to dep any gigs out.

Cheers Chris, that's really handy to know as it did cross my mind when pondering what to do.

[Linus27]

50 minutes ago, Stofferson said:

Hi,

Probably about 18 years off where you are now, i'm 32 I've been playing for 18 years,

It's only the past 4/5 years it's become a lifestyle, 100+ gigs a year with our Originals band, moderate success and still chasing the "dream"

Earn enough to cover costs e.g. fuel, merch stock up etc.  day job pays for everything else.

Love what i do but i know it's not sustainable at this level, realistically would we make it? not in this day and age haha, I do have amazing memories, experiences and plenty off the bucket list, I totally understand what you mean though. Maybe try something completely different? 

Perhaps something to get your teeth into to reignite any flames? teaching? band management or advice? certainly taking up Upright would be great, or perhaps studio work, take all the things you enjoy from creating music and remove the things you don't? i know a fair few musicians who just do studio stuff only, barely gig it live. Anyway, I hope you find what you're looking for 😎

Thanks bud and sounds like your situation is where I was 20 years ago. If you want any advise, whilst you are still young, make the most of it but make sure you keep enjoying it and capture those memories. Keep chasing that dream though, we are dead if we have no dreams and I can honestly say, all my dreams have come true, just takes hard work and sacrifice but its possible. Be persistent, ruthless but realistic. Good luck to you as well.

[Marc S]

Hi @Linus27

As others have said, we all lose a bit of that old "fire in the belly" from time to time. Others have also suggested taking a little break from bass duties for a while.
I think that may be a useful approach. Perhaps just mention this to the rest of the band. Tell them you have other things that need your attention...
Maybe even help them find a dep player for the meantime?

I'm slightly older than you, and I'm more fired up than ever - mainly because I realise I don't have too many years of active gigging left, and mostly because I had a near 25 year break from playing - so when I came back to bass playing and to gigging, I had more lust for it than I ever did as a young 'un. Also, I have a day job that is very very different from music, and one that can be stressful - so music is my outlet.

That said, there are sometimes other band members who wind me up a bit, and I feel like moving on..... Fortunately, I'm involved with several bands and duos / trios etc - so I wouldn't have time to miss any particular one of them. I sometimes wonder how I find time to fit all the gigs, learning + rehearsals in - but I realise now, I wouldn't want to be without my music ever again. Of course, when music is our hobby, it's a different thing to it being our main income source, and that may have a part to play in the way you're feeling?

Either way, a short break may be a good thing - give you time to think, and to step back from it all. Another way, may be to join another band / duo or trio - just for "fun" and occasional jamming / noodling? Just wondering whether playing for a different reason, and playing different genres might help you feel in less of a "rut". Don't sell your gear just yet in any case.

most of all - best of luck with whatever you decide. And lastly, I'm sure you're aware that you won't be alone in feeling the way you are.

[Linus27]

Just want to say a massive thanks to you all for your input and for listening to my ramblings. Some great advice and it has been a massive help, getting me thinking about a lot of things and certainly thinking about some things that I had not considered.

Where I am right now is to get through 2020 doing the gigs we have, reviewing how I feel about what I am doing musically and if I want to continue into 2021. I am suspecting not as I think a lot of you have banged the nail on the head by pointing out that a change would be a good thing, maybe even with a break but certainly a change musically would be good. It would of been 3 years and close to 250 gigs so not a bad run. I will certainly be taking up the double bass and see how that grabs me as well. I will also make the most of some time back and enjoy some track days and perhaps look at other interests, perhaps some travel. I will also look at what I want to do next musically. In fact I know what I would like to do but its an area that is totally alien to me, not that it worries me but I need to see what the possibilities are.

Thanks again guys, has been a great thread and I really appreciate being able to talk to you all and for you all for listening.

[TimR]

1 hour ago, Linus27 said:

Yes, this is what's on the cards, to offload some of the admin stuff to other band members. Its just getting them to be more proactive.

As for the unloading, its just my bass gear (2 x basses, speaker, amp, bag) plus one of the 15" PA speakers, desk, speaker stands, mics and multicore bag. Its just the loading the car up, driving to the venue, unloading, setting the gear up, doing the gig, packing it all down, loading the car, getting home about 1am and unlading the car. Just getting a bit tiring but I'm planning on offloading some of it to other band members. The singer does have the other PA speakers and the box of all the leads and cables.

Sounds like a plan. Doesn’t sound a lot more than I take although I take lights and smoke machine rather than any PA gear. 

I used to be in a band where I owned all the PA, that was a lot of carrying and setting up. And all I generally got was certain members of the band wanting to sound like <insert music hero>. Getting to bed at 3am knowing that the singer had already been home asleep for two hours got old fairly quickly. 

Find a hobby away from music and work that you can do that takes your mind off all those things. 

[uk_lefty]

I lost my passion for sport quite a few years back, and I treat sport and music very similarly. I played at a good level but retired at 29 having reached as far as my ability would take me. I always thought I'd be the guy in the clubhouse all day Saturday forever and ever. Actually having been near the top and retired, lost my fitness and enthusiasm I have no interest in playing to a level my current state of fitness and enthusiasm allows. And I don't miss it. Must be similar for you as a musician if you're churning out the same old same old when you have been more enthused and achieving more in the past. Having said that I watch the odd game online and read about results and for a moment I want to get back out there, maybe when I qualify for over 40's, etc. And I've had long enough off to get interested again. 

I sometimes lose my passion for music but I think that's not just down to boredom of the set list, no gigs for a month, it's usually playing bass along to CDs bores me senseless, even if its learning something new. I like playing guitar but I don't have enough time to be as good at it as I'd like. I've got an idea on my head for a band I want to set up next year but with work and family commitments I have no idea whether this will take off. It's hard to keep enthusiastic if you've got nothing to aim for. 

[javi_bassist]

On 02/10/2019 at 17:04, chris_b said:

Find a good teacher and have some bass lessons designed to push you in new directions. A breath of fresh air and being pushed to achieve by someone else can jump start your interest.

I did that last year and while it hasn't dramatically changed me, I play better lines and with more confidence as a result.

Actually I think that's a really good piece of advise! My bass teacher is incredibly good and he does that from time to time.

 

Maybe you need some time out of the music world. Like long vacations. Then you find the passion again. And if you don't, it's fine too. You had an awesome time and maybe it's time to move on (I don't think it would be the case but who knows)

[mcnach]

I find that staying away for a bit helps reigniting the flame.

My main band had a kind of... 'hiatus' forced on us due to circumstances beyond our control. We were a little... bored, at the time too. 

I thought that was it.

But when we had the chance to come back we did, and the fire is starting to come back. 

 

It's not the first time I experience this. Sometimes we all need a vacation, I think.

[Barking Spiders]

19 hours ago, javi_bassist said:

Actually I think that's a really good piece of advise! My bass teacher is incredibly good and he does that from time to time.

 

Maybe you need some time out of the music world. Like long vacations. Then you find the passion again. And if you don't, it's fine too. You had an awesome time and maybe it's time to move on (I don't think it would be the case but who knows)

Not to worry .There'll soon come a time when you'll get bitten by the allotment bug and prefer to be propagating tomatoes and chillis than playing music 😊.  I speak from experience and I'm not 50 till January.

[Staggering on]

Plus one for the DB.👍

I have been playing guitar, banjo and bass and have been gigging at various levels from six nights a week to just few gigs a year since I was 16.I was playing EB in a little jazz quartet about 5 or 6 years ago when I decided to get an EUB and that was the start of a whole new world. I upgraded to a better EUB and then finally got a DB about 18 months ago and use it in two bands and I love it. As has been said it is a whole new instrument and different technique and will make you really work. If you get some lessons and are a decent reader everything from classical to jazz and rockabilly and many other things are open to you and it is FUN to play the beast. At 73 I'm in two bands that both rehearse weekly but I now only play 20 to 40 gigs a year and spend lots of time practicing and informal jamming with friends. I have also played in some pit bands/orchestras to add some more variety. You will find that even if you continue with originals the DB will surprise you and you will find yourself doing things that you would not have thought of on DB.

Good luck and keep us posted as things unfold.

 

Edited October 4, 2019 by Staggering on

[Skybone]

It might be a case of trying to find a band that does original stuff rather than a covers band.

Whether you stay with the covers band is up to you, but it does sound like you're missing the creativity you get from playing original material.

Yes, it's a limited market place these days, especially if you're "older". But on the other hand, there must be other people like yourself, of a similar age group who have played original material over the years, and who have ended up playing covers, which they don't particularly enjoy.

Also, yes, being in an originals band takes time, a lot of time. Time to write, time to get a stable line up, time to build a reputation etc., and it is very frustrating, especially if other members are trying to push forward or hold things back.

Being of a "similar vintage" to Linus27, and having been in numerous originals bands, I personally can't abide playing covers. I don't have the patience, and I don't find it enjoyable. Plus the experience has been spoiled by various other former band members commenting on my performance of the cover in question (You're not playing it right, you missed that pause, but I need to play this F# minor Sus 9 chord, and you're breathing is putting me off, etc.).

 

[dave_bass5]

On 02/10/2019 at 18:23, Linus27 said:

Thanks guys for the replies, really appreciate it. What I've got from what you've said is that maybe a break is what's needed so maybe see the year out. Find a new challenge and the double bass is still a good idea so maybe bang the gigging on the head and spend 2020 focussing on that. 

We were gigging too much. Same set (more or less, week in, week out). Morale in the band started getting low and members left. Me and the drummer kept going for a while but he had enough after about a year. If im honest i wasn't enjoying it either, but knew i would miss it if i gave up so kept going. Had good moments still, but the spark was gone. We ended up splitting up and i really, really enjoyed the 6-8 months where i didn't feel i wanted to play. I brought a guitar and started to learn that. I really loved the weekends where on a Sat i didnt have to worry about getting home to go out to the gigs etc.

My other passion is photography so that gets me out and about. I did start to miss playing though, and now im back full swing, feeling much more motivated, and i play at least an hour or so almost every night at home. I dont care about gigs as such, we have a few, and thats more than enough now.

Bottom line, give yourself a break until you feel you are missing it. Dont force it. It will come back, and as others have said, you need a new challenge.

[Woodinblack]

1 hour ago, Skybone said:

Being of a "similar vintage" to Linus27, and having been in numerous originals bands, I personally can't abide playing covers. I don't have the patience, and I don't find it enjoyable.

Not universal though. I always played originals, and now I am really enjoying doing covers, I like making money and people knowing the songs. And frankly, unless you have exceptional songwriting which most people don't, most people came out with a couple of good songs and many dull ones, so you don't have to play your own dull ones!

All things make up a world.

[dave_bass5]

Just now, Woodinblack said:

Not universal though. I always played originals, and now I am really enjoying doing covers, I like making money and people knowing the songs. And frankly, unless you have exceptional songwriting which most people don't, most people came out with a couple of good songs and many dull ones, so you don't have to play your own dull ones!

All things make up a world.

Agreed. Growing up we would look on those of the same age as us and doing covers as sell outs, but having played only covers for the past 20+ years i can see why people do enjoy it (other than the money of course). Ive never had lessons, but have learnt different styles of playing over the years, due to having to learn a wide variety of songs.

Must admit id like to play some originals now, but dont have the time to write them.