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Told a punter to 'get to f...' for the time last night!


geoham

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When I was depping with the lads back a while we had a tit who would not leave us alone coming on stage , wanting to sing etc, the singer and guitar looked lost at how to handle it when he went for a guitar on a stand , so I just stopped playing , got in his way. The rest of the band then stopped and I took the mic to announce if it happened again we would be away .

To be fair to the punters , they all came and apologised for the tit at the end , but we were expecting an interesting load out !

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We play metal so naturally it's loud, we were playing a hometown gig a couple of years ago and some blokes walked in mid song, pushed their way through the assembled crowd who had actually come to see us, in this local known rock/metal pub, and went to the bar... 

When we'd finished the song one of them comes over and says, "Turn it down!", I looked at our guitarist and laughed as did he, and replied, "You best f**k off while we play the next song, because your night isn't going to end well if you're still here when we finish it." Job done.

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1 hour ago, Woodinblack said:

Maybe explains it then. My wife hadn't heard it either

Funny, I never considered this could be lost in translation. The punter was Irish, hopefully took the message how it was intended!

I speak to English folk all day long for work. Countless other nationalities too. I suppose this one doesn’t slip particularly well in to day to day corporate chat!

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13 minutes ago, geoham said:

I speak to English folk all day long for work. Countless other nationalities too. I suppose this one doesn’t slip particularly well in to day to day corporate chat!

I guess it depends where you work!

But if someone had said it to me, I wouldn't have been offended, I would have just wondered what they were talking about!

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25 minutes ago, geoham said:

Funny, I never considered this could be lost in translation. The punter was Irish, hopefully took the message how it was intended!

I speak to English folk all day long for work. Countless other nationalities too. I suppose this one doesn’t slip particularly well in to day to day corporate chat!

I lived in Edinburgh and Glasgow for only a decade before moving down south about seven years ago. I’m still saying things and getting blank looks. As a non Scot It’s amazing how much Scots you just pick up! 

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5 hours ago, kevin_lindsay said:

I did a gig in Glasgow bar where one of the audience stood to the side of us while we were playing our first set, while nodding along with a serious look on his face. He did this for another couple of numbers, the sauntered off. 

Two songs into our second set, he reappeared, this time with a black padded holdall type thing. He then unzipped it and produced.. a saxophone!!! He then proceeded to parp along with us on the number we were playing, while us in the band were looking at each other quizzically. Turns out we all thought he must be a friend of someone in our band. 

Wghen the song finished, he put his saxophone bag into his holdall thing, and then disappeared out of the bar! 

All very odd!! 

That really is kinda weird but that's Glesga punters for you :laugh1:

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I was born in the Northern Isles but spent most of my adult life in England, so can switch in an out of either accent at will.  Obviously I love the Scots, but a tiny minority of mainland Scots have a real chip on their shoulder, so on the rare occasion one gets smug with me thinking I'm English I break into Orkneyjar and remind them who the soft southerner really is.

Edited by Bassfinger
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6 hours ago, kevin_lindsay said:

I did a gig in Glasgow bar where one of the audience stood to the side of us while we were playing our first set, while nodding along with a serious look on his face. He did this for another couple of numbers, the sauntered off. 

Two songs into our second set, he reappeared, this time with a black padded holdall type thing. He then unzipped it and produced.. a saxophone!!! He then proceeded to parp along with us on the number we were playing, while us in the band were looking at each other quizzically. Turns out we all thought he must be a friend of someone in our band. 

Wghen the song finished, he put his saxophone bag into his holdall thing, and then disappeared out of the bar! 

All very odd!! 

Was he any good?

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2 hours ago, Woodinblack said:

I guess it depends where you work!

But if someone had said it to me, I wouldn't have been offended, I would have just wondered what they were talking about!

The body language would be a dead give away when being told to GTF. 

Facial expressions and hand gestures usually support the vocal anger :laugh1: 

  Dave

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12 hours ago, odysseus said:

And beware the drunken old fart who comes lurching towards the stage clutching a harmonica.... 

Had that at a gig in Shoreditch. Turned out to be the mildly amusing cheeky girl fiddling inconsequential lib dem MP lembit opek.

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10 minutes ago, MacDaddy said:

After Saturday's gig, during which I had stopped midsong to save the PA speaker going over after whizzed punter fell on to the speaker stand, the barman said "sorry about that whizzed up woman. Unfortunately she's a member of staff".

now what the profanity filter has done here, is make it seem like I'm talking about someone who has been sniffing amphetamine sulphate! 😱

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