"I really wanted to play your guitar" (tanked up punters)

[Guest MoJo]

Played two gigs at the weekend. The first was awesome and a great send-off for the landlady/landlord who were off to pastures new a couple of days later.

The gig the following evening wasn't so good (for me). I spent the best half of the second set being pestered by a couple of the younger audience members (mid twenties). The first kept pointing at my backup bass and mouthing the words 'Can I play your guitar?', to which I repeatedly replied 'No!'. The second guy mistook the band for a live karaoke and kept squeezing himself between me and my mic to sing along tunelessly to the band, treading on my Zoom B1on every time he did, changing patches. Thankfully, I'd taken the B1 out of the effects loop otherwise the audience would have been treated to a demo of all the different patches stored therein. Eventually the Pub Manager stepped in and took him away.

As we loaded out at the end of the night, the first guy stopped me in the doorway. "I really wanted to play your guitar." he said, smiling. I smiled back and answered, "I know you did."

The joys of the pub gig, eh?

Edited December 2, 2019 by MoJo

[Teebs]

People can be pretty ignorant at times

I have the opposite problem at open mic night - no-one wants to get up and sing / play 'til they're tanked. Even then, no-one has got up to play the bass (my playing is obviously sooo awesome that they're intimidated...or something ).

Overheard last night at open mic night during a break:

60ish woman to her friend...

"What time does the karaoke start back up?"

 

 

[Muzz]

3 hours ago, MoJo said:

The second guy mistook the band for a live karaoke and kept squeezing himself between me and my mic to sing along tunelessly to the band, treading on my Zoom B1on every time he did, changing patches.

Anyone encroaching in the band area gets firmly and immediately directed back where they came. I stop playing to do it if necessary.

Having said that, we were mid-packdown on Satdy night when we had two idiots at the mic; "Switch it back on, we want to do song." Singer put down the half-coiled XLR, walked up to the stand, disconnected the mic and put it in the case... 🙂

[lemonstar]

I sang 3 songs at an open mic on acoustic - I was nervous and messed up a few times. As I came off a guy I didn't know asked if he could borrow my guitar for a couple of songs - I didn't want to be unfriendly so I handed it to him and he hopped up, tripping slightly - he put a dent in the front of the guitar - not terrible tbh - but he then made me look and feel even worse by singing, playing and performing brilliantly... even did a Nick Drake song! - cheers mate - every time I look at that dent I think of that night.

Edited December 2, 2019 by lemonstar

[Teebs]

2 minutes ago, lemonstar said:

As I came off a guy I didn't know asked if he could borrow my guitar for a couple of songs - I didn't want to be unfriendly so I handed it to him and he hopped up, tripping slightly - he put a dent in the front of the guitar - not terrible tbh - but he then made me look and feel even worse by singing, playing and performing brilliantly... even did a Nick Drake song! - cheers mate - every time I look at that dent I think of that night.

What a B*stard!

[KevB]

As we get closer to xmas the chances of  encountering someone from a p*ssed up works party that wants to show off in front of that person they've been pestering in the office for months goes up exponentially. Be careful out there people.

[Jakester]

I was playing yesterday afternoon/evening in the local shopping centre with the orchestra I play with - playing Christmas tunes and more uptempo stuff. Owing to the way we were set up, I was out on the left wing and so open to the tender mercies of punters as they ran for shop to shop.
 

First was a lady with what looked like a mummified corpse in a wheelchair, but turned out to be her elderly chain smoking mother. “Do you have a drummer?” She asked. “Only, I play the drums.” “Yes,” I replied, gesturing to the actual drummer sat behind his kit, as well as the full section of percussionists. “Oh,” she said - “I can sing as well.” Rapidly changing tack (having realised her dreams of stardom were fading), she asked “what make of bass is that?”, and then answered herself, most unexpectedly - “ah, its a Warwick Streamer. Nice. I’ve got one of those.” She then took her mum off for a wheel, leaving me nonplussed. 
 

Second was the little old lady who came up mid-tune, rapped her watch, and asked if we were going to be much longer?

 

Finally, an honourable mention to the chap who let his labrador off it’s lead to run into the orchestra as we were playing, nearly knocking me over, as “it just wanted to see what was going on...”  

[paul_c2]

Do you measure the success of a band on the quantity, or the quality, of its followers?

[CamdenRob]

There is zero chance of anyone having a go on my bass... They inevitably think it’s a guitar and will inevitably attempt to play wonderwall on it... 😐

Edited December 3, 2019 by CamdenRob

[Lozz196]

I read all of this and thank my lucky stars I’m in an originals band. The only people we get on stage are the ones who’ve been thrown there by the rest of the audience.

[CamdenRob]

1 minute ago, Lozz196 said:

I read all of this and thank my lucky stars I’m in an originals band. The only people we get on stage are the ones who’ve been thrown there by the rest of the audience.

I also play originals and we don’t get people on stage either, but to be honest that’s mostly because there are often more people in the band than the audience... 😐

[mcnach]

46 minutes ago, paul_c2 said:

Do you measure the success of a band on the quantity, or the quality, of its followers?

 

their girth

[KevB]

Bands can only be measured by the ridiculousness of their backstage rider.

[Si600]

I had a go on a six string after a gig, but I had been watching him as a bassist rather than a punter and asked sensible questions, to wit, how had he tuned it. He offered, I didn't ask.

[lownote]

I wonder if other nations have a similar level of cretinous whizzed up low life as the default audience 

Edited December 3, 2019 by lownote12

[paul_c2]

Its a bit like kids playing guitar in music shops on Saturday morning. If you don't own a guitar, then that prospect is filled with excitement and wonder. If you do own a guitar (and amp etc), then you can sit down and play it at any time at home, right? So the mystique is gone. Therefore, anyone who asks to play something at a gig, almost by definition, can't.

[Monkey Steve]

For my old covers lot, at the end of the gig I'd always switch off the amp, unplug the bass and put it into it's case,  Drummer starts packing away his kit.  I'd also switch off the PA

Because we knew that this meant that those wanting to have a go on something would have to bother the guitarists

[Count Bassy]

3 hours ago, Teebs said:

 (my playing is obviously sooo awesome that they're intimidated...or something ).

Joking apart; this can happen. THere have certainly been times when I was going to play something, but chicken out thinking 'I can't follow that!'

[Bassfinger]

"I really want to play your guitar."

"I really want to give you four stiff fingers in the throat.  It's probably best that we both go home disappointed."

[Teebs]

15 minutes ago, Count Bassy said:

Joking apart; this can happen. THere have certainly been times when I was going to play something, but chicken out thinking 'I can't follow that!'

Yep - but you really haven't heard me play!

[Dan Dare]

My standard reply to the "Can I play your instrument?" question is "Can I have the keys to your car?" They both probably cost about the same when you factor in my rig.

Edited December 2, 2019 by Dan Dare

[AngelDeVille]

Too many cameras around nowadays, for my usual response...

[lozkerr]

1 hour ago, Count Bassy said:

Joking apart; this can happen. THere have certainly been times when I was going to play something, but chicken out thinking 'I can't follow that!'

My other half and I have been toying with mastering Canon Rock and trotting along to an open mic, just to do exactly that 😉

 

[odysseus]

The singer in one local band is a powerlifter and ex-doorman. On more than one occasion, a tanked-up stage invader has been launched back over the monitors... great to see, and greeted with a roar of approval by other punters. Life in Penzance!

[Woodinblack]

3 hours ago, Muzz said:

Having said that, we were mid-packdown on Satdy night when we had two idiots at the mic; "Switch it back on, we want to do song." Singer put down the half-coiled XLR, walked up to the stand, disconnected the mic and put it in the case... 🙂

I always mute the PA at everytime that we aren't using it, half time and as soon as we stop. 

We often get the drunk person who gets up to sing but there isn't much distance between me and the singer, and if they try coming up there, they are going to get a bass to the back of the head.