Friends or colleagues?

[BrunoBass]

Those of you in bands, how would you describe your relationship with your bandmates? One of the bands on our local circuit are always posting photos of themselves out together, drinking, socialising. Nice situation to be in I suppose, where you’re all close friends as well as bandmates. 

Personally I don’t see my bandmates unless we’re rehearsing or gigging. Not to say I don’t like them, we all get on well (most of the time), I just have my own circle of friends that are totally separate and a busy life away from the band. I have nothing in common with my bandmates other than the fact that we’re bandmates. I don’t feel any need to socialise with them. In fact if ever I left the band our paths probably wouldn’t cross much. I like them as people and I enjoy the camerarderie of being in a band but they’re definitely colleagues rather than friends.

[Bassfinger]

Chums.

[ambient]

People I know.

[Nicko]

I'm not feeling the love for my current bandmates in the same way I have with previous bands.  I don't dislike them, just haven't that much in common and they don't share my sense of humour. This lot are strictly colleagues.

[Teebs]

3 minutes ago, ambient said:

People I know.

This 

[Skinnyman]

22 minutes ago, Nicko said:

I'm not feeling the love for my current bandmates in the same way I have with previous bands.  I don't dislike them, just haven't that much in common and they don't share my sense of humour. This lot are strictly colleagues.

This.......

Last band were definitely mates. This band? Colleagues for sure

[Monkey Steve]

typically quite good mates when I'm in the band, and there are some current and ex-band members that I would consider my closest friends, but equally there are some that I haven't seen since the band finished

However, that's probably largely because I've never joined a band full of strangers, it's always been with at least one mate that I know, and I love the gang mentality of being in the band.  While I don't have an issue with band members who don't want to be my bestie outside of the rehearsal studio (as long as they are not obnoxious) I do enjoy the whole hanging out part of rehearsals and gigs, going for a beer afterwards, etc

[oldslapper]

Lovers.
 

 

 

 

Actually......

We all get on great, massive laugh together and supportive. But I only socialise with keyboardist and one of the techs outside of musical ventures. So very friendly colleagues on the whole. 

[NikNik]

In my early days they quickly became friends. After some time, some still were. Others became long-term acquaintances. One or two became enemies; several were to avoided forever. 

[dmccombe7]

Band mates. See them at rehearsals and gigs. 

Occasional meet for coffee usually at my house cause it seems to be most central for everyone. We all live in different parts of Central belt Scotland. Wanlockhead, Thankerton, Cumbernauld, Boness and Glasgow. 

Get on really well with these guys. Personally i don't really drink and drummer is much the same. Guitarist and singer like a beer but not when gigging. Keys guy has only just started with us a few weeks ago but i knew him from another band few yrs back.

Dave

[Roger2611]

Friends, in all my bands both past and present we used to get together socially (and still do in some cases) to me, a band works better if the members can socialise outside the band environment?

[jazzmanb]

Band mates ,two are good for a bit crack at gigs ,two aren't . Band wise there's no friction,if there was i'd look for another band 

[FinnDave]

In the case of the blues band I was in for five years (left a year ago) I would count them as friends, especially the guitarist and drummer. I still see socially and play with them. With the band I'm in now, it is harder to get to know the rest of them as we are spread out around the country and only get together for rehearsals and gigs. Perfectly nice people, just haven't had many social opportunities yet. We all got on well when we were in Germany, so it's not about the people, just the lack of time to get to know each other better.

[odysseus]

Mates in this band. We don't often go out as a bunch as we've all got lives separate from the overlap of mutual friends.  Other bands, not so much... more colleagues, I guess...

[Cat Burrito]

Mates. Unless I'm earning as much as Mick Jagger, I don't want to waste time on negativity. 

[4000]

2 hours ago, BrunoBass said:

Those of you in bands, how would you describe your relationship with your bandmates? One of the bands on our local circuit are always posting photos of themselves out together, drinking, socialising. Nice situation to be in I suppose, where you’re all close friends as well as bandmates. 

Personally I don’t see my bandmates unless we’re rehearsing or gigging. Not to say I don’t like them, we all get on well (most of the time), I just have my own circle of friends that are totally separate and a busy life away from the band. I have nothing in common with my bandmates other than the fact that we’re bandmates. I don’t feel any need to socialise with them. In fact if ever I left the band our paths probably wouldn’t cross much. I like them as people and I enjoy the camerarderie of being in a band but they’re definitely colleagues rather than friends.

My band mates are some of my best friends. In fact we’ve been in bands together, of all types, since 1993, mainly because we are friends. I can’t imagine it being any other way anymore. 

[colleya]

Well, I thought they were good mates but then the buggers gave me an early birthday present at rehearsal last night! 

[AndyTravis]

Well, it’s weird. 

we joke about stuff and there’s rapport, and there’s a feeling of camaraderie...but we’re a diverse bunch.

I feel the strongest connection with the drummer - he’s a lovely bloke. 

We’re talking about a band night out, I must admit I’m not 100% sure it’s a good idea - after our last gig we had the gear stored and went out. 

Very different socialising styles. 

Not as bad as a previous band who had a crazy Drug habit - not into that, made me uneasy.

 

[CamdenRob]

I don’t really like other people so try to avoid socialising wherever possible. 😐

[AndyTravis]

3 minutes ago, CamdenRob said:

I don’t really like other people so try to avoid socialising wherever possible. 😐

Yeah. I’m in that camp.

[CamdenRob]

1 minute ago, AndyTravis said:

Yeah. I’m in that camp.

We should go out together and bond over it 😐

[AndyTravis]

2 minutes ago, CamdenRob said:

We should go out together and bond over it 😐

Nah. Mutual online appreciation of each other’s awkwardness is enough socialising for this week.

[PaulWarning]

it's hard to stay real friends with band mates because band politics gets in the way, when you start off everybody's up for it and really pally, but the longer it goes on the more arguments happen, the Beatles, Jagger and Richards, extreme examples but you should get the idea

[dmccombe7]

That's kinda Sad guys @CamdenRob @AndyTravis

Edited December 3, 2019 by dmccombe7

[AndyTravis]

7 minutes ago, dmccombe7 said:

That's kinda Sad guys @CamdenRob @AndyTravis

Maybe from the outside looking in.

Happiest in my own company. Rarely happens so I generally spend my days being a bit spiky and miserable.

It’s not so bad with my wife and kids, but people I don’t know, it’s like scraping sandpaper across my soul.