Band joining/leaving shenanigans. Update - The Decision...

[solo4652]

Just spoke to Dave, to make sure I understood what the situation was. "Carl has always been sort of associated with the band, without ever playing with us. We were simply trying to help out a good friend", he said. I asked if Carl would be at future rehearsals. "He may well be - he's a good friend of ours. He sits at the back and doesn't usually say anything. Is that a problem?". Not really the answers I was wanting to hear. I wouldn't want Carl to be at rehearsal, but the band can't quite see that. I can't think of any other band I've been in that starts with me stipulating who can/can't be at rehearsal. And, furthermore, what happens if he does turn up? I flounce off?!

I said to Dave that I don't think the whole situation was handled well and that, on reflection, this isn't the right band for me long-term. I've offered to dep for them while they keep looking for a permanent bassist. "So, will you be OK attending our regular rehearsals?" asks Dave. "No", I said.

[Teebs]

4 minutes ago, solo4652 said:

I said to Dave that I don't think the whole situation was handled well and that, on reflection, this isn't the right band for me long-term. I've offered to dep for them while they keep looking for a permanent bassist. "So, will you be OK attending our regular rehearsals?" asks Dave. "No", I said.

Probably for the best.

Shame though

'Carl' sounds weird!

[oldslapper]

He’s invited you to attend rehearsals with Caaaarl, even though you’ve turned the job down? 

Do you think Dave likes bass players “watching”? 
Eeeeww 🙀

[Beedster]

N’owt stranger than folk

[oldslapper]

52 minutes ago, hiram.k.hackenbacker said:

You’ve done the right thing and also done it the right way 👏 

This 👆🏻

[phil.c60]

It's bizarre. A guy who want's to be the bass player, but isn't up to it (with this band -  let's be generous and say he's OK - ish but not quite good enough) and is good friends with everyone except you (at the moment - he might grow on you. Like mould.) is going to be sitting at the back during most rehearsals watching and listening and wishing he was you.  Telling his old friends (when you're not around) what he thinks of how you play, what he thinks is good, and what he thinks (in his humble opinion) is a bit "meh". I'm not suggesting that anything you play is in any way a bit "meh", just that that's his opinion (as a nearly good enough but not quite good enough player for the band: He may not be able to do it, (yet) but he knows how it should be done).Then probably trying really really hard at home to practice whatever it is he's managed to pick up from watching and listening to you until he feels able to say "I'm  much better now, I think I've cracked it, pretty please old friends can we have a private little rehearsal/get together/jam thingy and see if I'm good enough yet? And if I am maybe we can think again........? And if not,  pretty please can try again in 3/6/9 months? Until you finally get the "Dear John, Caaaarl is so much better now, he's worked really hard on his playing (my, my, how did that happen) and we always kinda did really sorta want him in the band as he's our mate, so thanks for the time, effort, blood, sweat and tears but adios, relatively new amigo. Hope you understand and no hard feelings. 

Like you, the moment Dave said "Oh yeah, he always be there! On our shoulder just like Jiminy Cricket!  It would have been a "No" (or some other imaginative phrase ending on "off") from me too. Aren't some folks strange - Dave is probably still trying to understand why you don't want to join them.

Hopefully, anyone who goes to an audition and finds Caaaarl lurking will have read this thread and instantly realise what they are letting themselves in for followed by a polite "I'm sorry, I think I'm in the wrong room. Goodbye".

[Storky]

A bit odd imho. He should understand your position and make sure Carl isn’t around at rehearsals; it’s nothing to do with him after all. Especially as everyone knows he want the bass gig!

looks like you’ve had no alternative but to come to this decision. Unless they suddenly understand your position, cut your losses and look elsewhere.

[PatrickJ]

CAAAARL

[Woodinblack]

2 hours ago, Teebs said:

Probably for the best.

Shame though

'Carl' sounds weird!

Just because he eats peoples hands doesn't make him weird.

Oh hang on, I might be mixing up realities here...

[skidder652003]

2 hours ago, hiram.k.hackenbacker said:

I think Dave has just blown his last with you. You’ve done the right thing and also done it the right way 👏 

easy tiger...

 

[la bam]

Well...... you gave them a chance. And they STILL cant see it's an issue. 

Just move on, before you become Carl's bass teacher. Then get binned off as he eventually eases you out of the band.

[Ricky 4000]

Lucky escape.

Before long it'd be: "Great first set mate... You don't mind if Carl steps in for a couple of songs in the second half do ya?"

[skankdelvar]

I move the following motion:

That any band follower or random 'friend' who sits in on rehearsals be henceforth referred to as a 'Carl', this irrespective of their gender.

Example: 'There this Carl who keeps turning up every week. She's quite cute but between every f*cking song she asks us if she can get us some tea from the machine and frankly it's a bit off-putting'.

 

Edited February 7, 2020 by skankdelvar

[Trueno]

... or maybe, stand behind this curtain and play the bass while Carl is on stage miming along.

The whole band sound like a bunch of knobs to me.

[skankdelvar]

Just now, hiram.k.hackenbacker said:

Seconded. Every Carl I have ever known has been a monumental tw@t. (Apologies to any Carl’s that are on BC. I’m sure you are lo lovely).

I've only ever known two Carls. One Carl was a 'monumental tw@t' but, to be fair,  it was primary school and he was only six years old. The other Carl was a really nice guy and got me a job somewhere.

[Trueno]

I, also, have only ever known two Carls. One was, unsurprisingly, a monumental tw@t... the other was German (and a good laugh actually).

[Si600]

24 minutes ago, Trueno said:

I, also, have only ever known two Carls. One was, unsurprisingly, a monumental tw@t... the other was German (and a good laugh actually).

He was probably a Karl, and as such, different from a Carl.

[mep]

1 minute ago, Si600 said:

He was probably a Karl, and as such, different from a Carl.

I'd like to stand up for all Carl's as its my name, except for 'Dark Cloud Carl' as he sounds like a total tool. I can confirm that Karl's are very different from Carl's and the proof is our singer!

[skankdelvar]

4 minutes ago, Si600 said:

He was probably a Karl, and as such, different from a Carl.

Karl on here (Karlfer) is a good bloke but I don't think he's German.

Two up for the Karl's, then.

[skankdelvar]

The Carl Swingometer

* All the monumental Carl's @Trueno has ever known + Dark Cloud Carl + the six year-old Carl minus the Carl who got me a job and @mep

* German Karl + Karlfer minus @mep's singer

Still not looking good for Carl's on a pro-rata basis.

 

Edited February 8, 2020 by skankdelvar

[Si600]

I used to do Taekwondo with a Carl. His heart is in the right place (just left of center) but he's also really annoying. He's one on the list of people I wouldn't choose to go drinking with.

[Frank Blank]

1 hour ago, Trueno said:

... or maybe, stand behind this curtain and play the bass while Carl is on stage miming along.

The whole band sound like a bunch of knobs to me.

The whole band sound like a bunch of Carls to me.

Fixed.

[oldslapper]

30 minutes ago, skankdelvar said:

The Carl Swingometer

* Not looking good for Carl's on a pro-rata basis.

 

[Teebs]

8 hours ago, skankdelvar said:

The Carl Swingometer

* All the monumental Carl's @Trueno has ever known + Dark Cloud Carl + the six year-old Carl minus the Carl who got me a job and @mep

* German Karl + Karlfer minus @mep's singer

Still not looking good for Carl's on a pro-rata basis.

 

I used to work with a Karl.

Complete and utter tool!

Haven't seen him in over 10 years, but would still rather eat my own hands with a rusty knife and fork ( @Woodinblack reference )  than be within 100 yards of him!

 

 

[dmccombe7]

I met a Carol once at Xmas..........good singer.

Does that count ?