Guest MoJo Posted February 13, 2020 Share Posted February 13, 2020 Change the venue where you rehearse. Everyone burn their mobile phones. Delete your online social media profiles and move house. That should avoid that awkward moment having to tell him he's been dumped Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DoubleOhStephan Posted February 13, 2020 Share Posted February 13, 2020 Simple... 😁 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dave_bass5 Posted February 13, 2020 Share Posted February 13, 2020 9 minutes ago, MoJo said: Change the venue where you rehearse. Everyone burn their mobile phones. Delete your online social media profiles and move house. That should avoid that awkward moment having to tell him he's been dumped must admit when we dumped our last drummer we got the new one to start booking rehearsals under his name so we couldn't be tracked down. Old drummer was a dangerous man. During today ive since found out our guitarsist has booked himself as not available for a lot of the spring and summer weekends. partly because of the football, and the rest he is just going away with his wife etc I will not pull my punches when he gets the chop. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trueno Posted February 13, 2020 Share Posted February 13, 2020 "I've had a word with the guys and we agreed that you're not currently up to speed with the rest of us. To be honest, we don't think you'll catch us up" ... or summat like that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dave_bass5 Posted February 13, 2020 Share Posted February 13, 2020 1 hour ago, la bam said: Which ever way you do it, I wouldnt stay in that line up if he turns up every practice saying that. Been there, done that several times. All it does is continually boil up inside and drive you mad, whilst holding the band back, until it will eventually come to a head maybe even years down the line. Then you'll wonder why you put up with it. If hes 'too busy at work' to put in the effort like everyone else, then he shouldnt be there with you. Couldn't agree more, it is making it hard to enjoy the band, but its my band so why wouldn't the first step be to get rid of him? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jakester Posted February 13, 2020 Author Share Posted February 13, 2020 46 minutes ago, dave_bass5 said: Couldn't agree more, it is making it hard to enjoy the band, but its my band so why wouldn't the first step be to get rid of him? Sorry, I think there's a conflation of two separate occurrences here! New band - jury's out. Other band's singing - deffo gone (just, no-one's actually told him yet....😳) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dave_bass5 Posted February 13, 2020 Share Posted February 13, 2020 12 minutes ago, Jakester said: Sorry, I think there's a conflation of two separate occurrences here! New band - jury's out. Other band's singing - deffo gone (just, no-one's actually told him yet....😳) No, i was replying to the post that quoted my post about drummer turning up and saying he hadn't had time. probably worth reading my post to get this in context. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
taunton-hobbit Posted February 13, 2020 Share Posted February 13, 2020 I think I'd give it a second go - give the guy a setlist so he can do some work upfront (or not), and keep it simple, no jamming, no freakin', no 10 min solos, no Mustang Sally (unless it's a must do) - see how he gets on with that. If not, it's a nice 'we're not yet on the same page' type conversation......... that way no-one gets bruised (hopefully). 😎 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fleabag Posted February 13, 2020 Share Posted February 13, 2020 I agree with the ' give it to him straight ' posts. You're not a social worker and he doesn't need the gentle approach, as if he were a child. He isnt gonna hurl himself off a cliff because he's not on a level playing field with everyone else. Just be straight, but not nasty. Thats it He may even go away and practice more. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gjones Posted February 13, 2020 Share Posted February 13, 2020 If he's 12 years old, then I'd give him a break and assume he'll spend the next few weeks in his bedroom, obsessively going over the songs night after night, until he's better than everybody else and goes off to join Eric Clapton's band. But if he's a grown adult and he's had years to get half decent (but didn't bother), it's unlikely he's going to get any better than he is already. So giving him a chance to get better is probably a waste of time. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phil Starr Posted February 14, 2020 Share Posted February 14, 2020 I can't say I'd be happy with options b or c. If he's not good enough or simply hasn't the time available for personal practice then don't go with him. Let's face it if you can't be bothered for the first session it's not likely to change later. Having decided that, if you have, then just be kind, and be quick. My wife was headteacher at a big secondary school her philosophy if she had to say something difficult to someone, teacher or pupil was to be straightforward and not to drag it out. The more you say the more likely it is you'll say something which will eat up at him later on. All you really need to say is I'm sorry you aren't what I'm looking for, thanks for trying out with us' He's already acknowledged that he was underprepared so you don't need to tell him and that leaves him some dignity and if he wants something to work on next time. The only other thing is; are you sure? If you want another look before making up your mind then tell him that. 'You were underprepared last time but we really liked you and if you are up for it we'd like to give it another go and see what you can really do' If he doesn't come better prepared then he never will. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Iacopo San Posted February 14, 2020 Share Posted February 14, 2020 You can be honest without being too brutally honest. Explain that despite he is a nice guy, you don't think he fits in the band. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jus Lukin Posted February 14, 2020 Share Posted February 14, 2020 (edited) - Edited March 4, 2022 by Jus Lukin 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
naxos10 Posted February 14, 2020 Share Posted February 14, 2020 Did you discuss what you were planing to play at the next rehearsal before you left the first one? If you did and the band member in question doesn't show any signs of have do anything or any improvement, then a gentle let down is probably the way to go. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ambient Posted February 14, 2020 Share Posted February 14, 2020 It’s only a band. It doesn’t sound like he came across as being a potential axe murderer. So just explain to him. Good points, bad points, then finish off with a good point, and tell him that you’ll keep him in mind if you hear of anyone looking for someone. Make the last good point musical too, he probably already knows he’s a nice guy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jakester Posted February 14, 2020 Author Share Posted February 14, 2020 Well, the deed is done. I just explained that I had concerns that some of the stuff we were looking to play might be a bit challenging, and he was very gracious and we parted on (hopefully) good terms - at least I think we did (wait until I find the head of a Precision in my bed!) Now, anyone know any good bass players? 😉 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PatrickJ Posted February 14, 2020 Share Posted February 14, 2020 58 minutes ago, Jakester said: Well, the deed is done. I just explained that I had concerns that some of the stuff we were looking to play might be a bit challenging, and he was very gracious and we parted on (hopefully) good terms - at least I think we did (wait until I find the head of a Precision in my bed!) Now, anyone know any good bass players? 😉 I suspect he knew himself which way it was going to go. Unless he was blissfully unaware of how things went he was probably expecting it. He may even be motivated to get back to the shed and practice some more so he nails it next time. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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