Behringer criticism of journo stunt goes wrong

[skankdelvar]

32 minutes ago, Captain Bassman said:

In my experience this particular “menu item” commonly occurred after an extended “light lunch” (as described by young Mr Del Var), usually on a Friday evening, somewhere against a wall around the back of Waterloo or London Bridge station, involving some amateur wrestling followed by a degree of knee trembling.

That or a 'hot pork lunch', as we were accustomed to say at that time.

One afternoon about five o'clock I left the pub and worked my way along the Strand buying and eating a burger from each of the major chains and from a couple of independents. I think I must have had about 6 burgers and after all that salt I needed a drink, so, back to the pub.

This is what young people are missing out on. Please give generously to my crowdfunding effort.

Edited March 4, 2020 by skankdelvar

[tauzero]

3 hours ago, skankdelvar said:

They're all stressed out of their tiny minds so no wonder they're doing weird shít like mocking up fake synths and pedals to annoy some dweeb 'journalist' who shouldn't even be on their radar and even if he was, just pay a couple of guys to break his fingers.

BoJo didn't know his address so they couldn't.

[ambient]

Behringer’s idea of investing in research and development is buying a new photocopier.

[skankdelvar]

32 minutes ago, tauzero said:

BoJo didn't know his address so they couldn't.

Seamless pivot, there 

22 minutes ago, ambient said:

Behringer’s idea of investing in research and development is buying a new photocopier.

Idle curiosity: Do people still use photocopiers? I'd have thought Behringer would use a scanner and / or a printer 

Edited March 4, 2020 by skankdelvar

[Sibob]

If anyone wants a great read, go and have a gander at Behringer and Music Tribes (parent company) Glassdoor reviews. For those not aware, Glassdoor is a website that allows employees, current and previous, to anonymously review companies they’ve worked at.

Si

[uk_lefty]

14 hours ago, skankdelvar said:

For all their so-called freedom and open-mindedness many young people today are little more than bowing, scraping sararimen which is why I am launching an outreach mentoring project where old industry hands such as myself and @FinnDave teach our shining-faced youth such valuable lessons as how to successfully function in the workplace after a lunch comprising four pints, two bottles of wine, a large brandy and a pork pie.

Ah a skillset that takes a minute to learn and a lifetime to master! I remember coming back to my desk two hrs after leaving for a "quick lunch" stinking of bitter and smoke and with a tesco meal deal in a carrier bag... Then trying not to fall asleep at my desk. Should have topped off those four pints with a double vodka red bull, as a seasoned Pro would have to power through the afternoon. 

Other vital skills such as staring out the window with a pen in your mouth (looks deep in thought, not trying to remember the words to ABC album tracks), and getting the photocopier to punt out blank sheets of warm paper, when someone comes and sees they're blank you have to comment "f#cking IT, eh?" so you can both maintain the pretence. 

[lozkerr]

19 minutes ago, uk_lefty said:

Ah a skillset that takes a minute to learn and a lifetime to master! I remember coming back to my desk two hrs after leaving for a "quick lunch" stinking of bitter and smoke and with a tesco meal deal in a carrier bag... Then trying not to fall asleep at my desk. Should have topped off those four pints with a double vodka red bull, as a seasoned Pro would have to power through the afternoon. 

Other vital skills such as staring out the window with a pen in your mouth (looks deep in thought, not trying to remember the words to ABC album tracks), and getting the photocopier to punt out blank sheets of warm paper, when someone comes and sees they're blank you have to comment "f#cking IT, eh?" so you can both maintain the pretence. 

And of course, coping with the hot-desking fad. Not the electric-heater-under-the-office-tw@'s-paper-trays that was popular around the turn of the century, but the ability to locate a desk among a group of people whose work is entirely different to your own. If you're a software developer, you either work on your own projects or have a wee kip while seemingly concentrating hard on a screen full of code that will just be gobbledegook to the admin people around you - or if you're in PR, you plonk yourself among the geeks and play on YouFaceTwit all day.

And of course, you always use the printer that's furthest away from where you are. That lets you master the art of carrying a piece of paper while walking briskly, thus making you seem Big and Important.

When it's time for a brew, you pull out that elderly phone stuffed full of MP3s, plug in your earphones and conduct an intense but one-wordy conversation with Iron Maiden. Need to watch the volume, though. For added points, start a detailed reply as you walk out the room.

Plus, when printing stuff for home, make sure you submit it in a batch and make the final document something to do with work. Make sure there's no-one near the printer before you send it. Then, as your set lists and charts are printing, if anyone approaches you, you take it off the printer looking really annoyed, make some comment about 'don't some people focus on their business objectives' when your own document finally appears and flounce off with your home stuff while making some comment about reporting misuse of resources. That's so no-one can reasonably ask you to chuck it straight in the recycling bin.

There we are, kids. Laura's Thursday Tips for a more satisfying working day. Tune in next week for tips on how to leave boring meetings and still look good, how to deal with food thieves and how to provide your odious manager with a managed exit. Book and motivational speaking tour coming soon!

Edited March 5, 2020 by lozkerr
Added value :-)

[Teebs]

16 hours ago, Stub Mandrel said:

I have a suspicion that the Coronavirus was genetically engineered by Millennial and Gen-Xers specifically to target Baby Boomers...

AGE		DEATH RATE all cases
80+ years old		14.8%
70-79 years old		8.0%
60-69 years old		3.6%
50-59 years old		1.3%
40-49 years old		0.4%
30-39 years old		0.2%
20-29 years old		0.2%
10-19 years old		0.2%
0-9 years old		no fatalities

 

Nothing to see here - please go about your business as normal.

[Teebs]

1 hour ago, lozkerr said:

And of course, coping with the hot-desking fad. Not the electric-heater-under-the-office-tw@'s-paper-trays that was popular around the turn of the century, but the ability to locate a desk among a group of people whose work is entirely different to your own. If you're a software developer, you either work on your own projects or have a wee kip while seemingly concentrating hard on a screen full of code that will just be gobbledegook to the admin people around you - or if you're in PR, you plonk yourself among the geeks and play on YouFaceTwit all day.

And of course, you always use the printer that's furthest away from where you are. That lets you master the art of carrying a piece of paper while walking briskly, thus making you seem Big and Important.

When it's time for a brew, you pull out that elderly phone stuffed full of MP3s, plug in your earphones and conduct an intense but one-wordy conversation with Iron Maiden. Need to watch the volume, though. For added points, start a detailed reply as you walk out the room.

Plus, when printing stuff for home, make sure you submit it in a batch and make the final document something to do with work. Make sure there's no-one near the printer before you send it. Then, as your set lists and charts are printing, if anyone approaches you, you take it off the printer looking really annoyed, make some comment about 'don't some people focus on their business objectives' when your own document finally appears and flounce off with your home stuff while making some comment about reporting misuse of resources. That's so no-one can reasonably ask you to chuck it straight in the recycling bin.

There we are, kids. Laura's Thursday Tips for a more satisfying working day. Tune in next week for tips on how to leave boring meetings and still look good, how to deal with food thieves and how to provide your odious manager with a managed exit. Book and motivational speaking tour coming soon!

I'm subscribing to 'Laura's Thursday Tips' 

[oldslapper]

17 hours ago, Captain Bassman said:

involving some amateur wrestling followed by a degree of knee trembling.

Oh happy days indeed...he never called (sigh)

[oldslapper]

3 hours ago, uk_lefty said:

 

Other vital skills such as staring out the window with a pen in your mouth 

Indeed, but never before lunch!

....you must have something to do in the afternoon 

[skankdelvar]

9 hours ago, lozkerr said:

Laura's Thursday Tips for a more satisfying working day.

An essential vade-mecum for today's young people. I not only doff my hat but execute a bow while so doing.

Edit for clarification: A bit like this ↓ only a bit lower, probably

Edited March 5, 2020 by skankdelvar