Bull & bollox. Lies you have been told...

[AndyTravis]

“It’s illegal to put barcodes on guitars”

an area manager for a guitar shop I worked at.

[casapete]

‘That standard Fender Precision bridge is rubbish - you need this heavy brass one, will make it sustain forever.....’

’Look at this cable - really thick and with gold plated plugs. You’ll hear the difference straight away....’

’Can’t you play a few more songs? The best man will bung the band some more dosh....’

[Pseudonym]

"I only indulge at weekends."

[jezzaboy]

3 hours ago, Paul S said:

I get extremely grumpy if I don't eat regularly.  All small mammals have to eat regularly, is how I rationalise it.

'We can help ourselves to the birthday buffet' said the singer.

Nope.  I got hungry and grumpy.

'you said we could eat at the buffet'

'No I didn't'

'Yes, you did, I have the email'

'No I didn't'

And so on.  A rather embarrassing finger pointing session just before we started the gig.  Which was my last with the band  

Thats a new one on me that is.

I can just see the advert on Gumtree.

 

"New bass player required. Last one left due to non availability of buffet!" 

[jezzaboy]

We turned up at a pub in Prestwick Ayrshire, 2 valve Marshalls, Ashdown stack, pa and I think we had lights that night as well.

The landlord showed us where to set up and the 1 plug socket available to us. He explained that the band the previous night had blown the other sockets and it would be fine to plug all the gear into said socket.

He found it quite amusing that we are an ac/dc tribute and he had a problem with the electrics. Plonker.

[BrunoBass]

3 hours ago, paul_5 said:

Sure, we’ve all *said* that...

For sure.

I’ve never done it again. My caveat was that I was never going to play far flung gigs that involved ‘approximate’ details ever again. It was a laugh when I was 19, less so when you’re knocking 50. Probably one of reasons they sacked me haha 😂 

[oldslapper]

“These machine heads are much better at the wrong angle”

”The nut is meant to be cut this low”

”The new headstock logo in Sharpie will enhance the value fo’ Sho’. “

All turned out to be lies, can’t believe it...😢

[DaveFry]

" If you come and work for us we will Propose and Second your application to join the A.C.C.S and then if you get in we will pay you Union Rates . "

Still waiting on the getting paid part .

[BassTractor]

On 10/03/2020 at 21:01, DaveFry said:

Still waiting on the getting paid part .

Well, that U and that M seem to have a good time...
and they're getting a lot of exposure too!

Edited March 12, 2020 by BassTractor

[mep]

42 minutes ago, oldslapper said:

“These machine heads are much better at the wrong angle”

”The nut is meant to be cut this low”

”The new headstock logo in Sharpie will enhance the value fo’ Sho’. “

All turned out to be lies, can’t believe it...😢

You didn't buy one of MDP's eBay seller refurbished basses did you?😧

[Dan Dare]

7 hours ago, BrunoBass said:

Taking a booking for a wedding gig where we were the second band of two, with a DJ set in between. 

Wedding planner: ‘You can use the first band’s PA, mics and shell kit, I’ve checked with them and it’s ok. They’re happy to stay, have a drink and pack up later.’

Arrive during the DJ set at the appointed time to find the first band fully packed down and already loading out.

The flip side of this is that you turn up with your high quality PA and backline to find the other band/bands have been told they can use it by the organiser. Takes a complete lack of compassion/sympathy to refuse as they look at you pleadingly, but I'm a miserable heartless bugger.

Edited March 10, 2020 by Dan Dare

[Newfoundfreedom]

1 hour ago, oldslapper said:

“These machine heads are much better at the wrong angle”

”The nut is meant to be cut this low”

”The new headstock logo in Sharpie will enhance the value fo’ Sho’. “

All turned out to be lies, can’t believe it...😢

I think we all know the ebayer you're talking about. 😉

[chaypup]

8 hours ago, skankdelvar said:

 You won't mind if Carl watches the rehearsal. He's just a friend of the band'.

Is Carl a friend of TIM?

[SH73]

Every Saturday the drummer had to leave half way through the rehearsal saying he needed to attend a family gathering.

[Dom in Dorset]

"There will be full backline and drum kit, just bring guitars and breakables"
 

[Stub Mandrel]

8 hours ago, chaypup said:

Is Carl a friend of TIM?

He's a psychopathic Jama.

[bassace]

Do you know, in sixty years of gigs- in the thousands - I can’t remember any fibs, carve ups, rollovers, whatever. Sure, there was one gig in the early days when our skiffle group didn’t get the £2.10 (pre dec) fee but that was because I didn’t have the balls to ask for it. I’ve waited months to be paid by a well known Berkshire worthy and there’s the relatively insignificant hall acoustics thing. But I have always been treated fairly and honourably by clients and fellow musicians alike.

Is it because they’re jazzers, I wonder

[cheddatom]

The first ever paying customer to my recording studio, an old dude from Stoke, told me that he wrote Purple Rain and he had proof, but didn't want to sue Prince because he seems nice

[rushbo]

1 hour ago, cheddatom said:

The first ever paying customer to my recording studio, an old dude from Stoke, told me that he wrote Purple Rain and he had proof, but didn't want to sue Prince because he seems nice

This may be the greatest, single sentence to ever appear in Basschat. Kudos sir. 

[spectoremg]

On 10/03/2020 at 19:56, oldslapper said:

“These machine heads are much better at the wrong angle”

”The nut is meant to be cut this low”

”The new headstock logo in Sharpie will enhance the value fo’ Sho’. “

All turned out to be lies, can’t believe it...😢

Was that our friend MDP?

[Owen]

On 10/03/2020 at 18:55, TheRev said:

but to us it was like having a fifth member who never helped carry the PA.

That is the very worst thing. 

[steantval]

I was the guitarist in Iron Maiden, but I left before they made it big time.

[cybertect]

On 10/03/2020 at 16:23, scalpy said:

‘I was in thunderclap newman’

’I sang backing vocals on Rocket Man’

’I played guitar Everyone’s Kung Fu Fighting’

All from one guitarist. 

Pete Goodall, by any chance?

[scalpy]

1 minute ago, cybertect said:

Pete Goodall, by any chance?

I did wonder when I posted if anybody else would have been affected...

Edited March 12, 2020 by scalpy
missing word

[Woodinblack]

On 10/03/2020 at 18:55, TheRev said:

It would have been peanuts to him, but to us it was like having a fifth member who never helped carry the PA.

That would be bad - we already have one of those!