Bass Myths, share ones you've heard

[Frank Blank]

It is a myth that anyone who refers to their bass as 'she' isn't a complete w4nk3r. 

[Bleat]

All those slap bass players on YouTube are in Kajagoogoo tribute bands...

Not true. They are all lonely, have no friends, too much time on their hands, and no one wants to be in a band with them.

[oldslapper]

Sharpie on the headstock = + £££‘S 🤑

[LukeFRC]

American brand/maker everyone likes on Talkbass this month is infinitely better than the equivalent brand/maker from the UK

[MoJoKe]

6 hours ago, miles'tone said:

The magic ingredient to Jaco's sound was the chicken grease he rubbed into his strings.

I heard he used to rub his nose, which is actually something I do myself during a gig if my fingers are feeling sore...  Disgusting maybe, but it does actually work!! 

[LukeFRC]

"You just need to play the root notes, and only four times per bar." 

[4000]

11 hours ago, Old Man Riva said:

“You only need to buy one set of strings in your life, as long as you regularly boil them”.

I tried it once and it was like cooking angry spaghetti, boiling hot strings flying everywhere on the stove.

Sounded like spaghetti, too...

I boil my strings when I can’t afford new ones, always have. I spent 2 and a half years on the dole and the next 2 on £45 a week; you do what you have to.

It works though. You’re obviously not doing it right. 

[Barking Spiders]

10 minutes ago, LukeFRC said:

"You just need to play the root notes, and only four times per bar." 

you mean to tell me that's not bass playing?

[Geek99]

6 hours ago, miles'tone said:

The magic ingredient to Jaco's sound was the chicken grease he rubbed into his strings.

That was probably some sugar honey iced tea he dreamed up for a laugh...

it was pork grease ... duh 

[Jean-Luc Pickguard]

My missus came out with a good one, she said "you don't need another bass"

Actually she says that quite often.

[joeystrange]

1 hour ago, Bobthedog said:

 

I have to say that for me having a lined fretless is pointless (although my fretless is lined) as I simply cannot see the lines on the fretboard at all. I can only see the side of the neck. 

Tony Franklin’s basses are unlined with side dots. Probably for that reason.

[fretmeister]

1 hour ago, Richard R said:

What??? Has someone really said that? Maybe the other way round, at a push. 

At a show at the Derngate Theatre!

[SICbass]

9 hours ago, Jean-Luc Pickguard said:

My missus came out with a good one, she said "you don't need another bass"

Actually she says that quite often.

🤦‍♂️🤷‍♂️ Maaaaadness!

[Geek99]

9 hours ago, Jean-Luc Pickguard said:

My missus came out with a good one, she said "you don't need another bass"

Actually she says that quite often.

I’d heard that that kind of thought pattern was grounds for divorce - I mean totally unreasonable 

[Jus Lukin]

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Edited March 5, 2022 by Jus Lukin

[Paul S]

Combine the two and say 'she is decked out in black nylons' for full effect.

[Old Man Riva]

11 hours ago, 4000 said:

I boil my strings when I can’t afford new ones, always have. I spent 2 and a half years on the dole and the next 2 on £45 a week; you do what you have to.

It works though. You’re obviously not doing it right. 

I know what you mean. In the late 70s I left school and started an apprenticeship and shortly after, in the early 80s, joined my first ‘proper’ band - who were all slightly older than me, had good jobs and had significantly more experience and money.

The two guitarists were fastidious about their gear, and always seemed to have new sets of strings - or at least changed them regularly. I (naively) asked how often I should change my strings - I genuinely had no idea! - and they both said, “same as us!”. This was at a time when the only strings I knew about (Rotosound Swing Bass) cost half of what I earned in a week.

I was obsessed with music/bass playing and any spare money went that way - no going out with mates, no going to the football; music was all that mattered, but changing my strings on a weekly basis? No way!

After a few weeks I told them I couldn’t afford the strings and they (amazingly) bought me a set out of the band kitty (that I’d not contributed to at this point, as I’d not gigged with them) but gave me strict instructions to boil them once a week.

After being chased around my mum’s kitchen by a Swing Bass G-string I only ever tried it once.

And I agree... I obviously wasn’t doing it right!

[ubit]

On 28/06/2020 at 08:17, Nail Soup said:

Not a gear myth, but on the role of bass:

"Bass should be felt and not heard"

I actually thought this had been consigned to the history books, but it has it's own modern day realization when live sound engineers give the bass a kind of sub-sonic feel and you can't hear the note choice.

My mate who is our guitar player actually said that to me once. I was aghast!

[Pseudonym]

7 minutes ago, ubit said:

My mate who is our guitar player actually said that to me once. I was aghast!

I feel you, brother.

[6feet7]

11 hours ago, LukeFRC said:

"You just need to play the root notes, and only four times per bar." 

Whats wrong with that??? Perfectly reasonable to me

[oldslapper]

8 minutes ago, 6feet7 said:

Whats wrong with that??? Perfectly reasonable to me

Quite.

Along with “the more notes I play, the more (I will finally gain my dads approval) people will like me”

And

“I’m not bitter that Adam Clayton is filthy rich” (see above)

Also see

”Small droplets of theory brings on COVID 19” 

🤦🏻‍♂️🥳🤡

[Frank Blank]

1 hour ago, Jus Lukin said:

'Wearing' strings creeps me out a bit, too. 🤔

*shudder*

[LukeFRC]

28 minutes ago, 6feet7 said:

Whats wrong with that??? Perfectly reasonable to me

I had come from a indie pop band and had the shocking idea of playing quavers with the odd passing note. That church’s band was not Prepared for that...

[Jus Lukin]

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Edited March 5, 2022 by Jus Lukin

[chris_b]

You mean like:

I don't get on with a 5 string. . . . . . . . means I'm not going to put the effort in to make this work.

D Class amps and Neo cabs don't sound good. . . . . . . . means I've never understood my EQ.

Jaco only needed 4. . . . . . . . means I am trying to justify my lack of ambition.

Wood makes no difference. . . . . . . . means I don't understand physics.

The sound in my head. . . . . . . . means I'm more worried about how I sound than how I play.

I'm getting the hang of this. . . . . .

I'm here to make the guitarist sound good. . . . . . . . means. . . . . . . .  hey, that one actually is true.