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Kill them with fire now ....


Angel

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DAVE: Route the bodies correctly, HAL.

HAL: I’m sorry, Dave. I’m afraid I can’t do that.

DAVE: What’s the problem?

HAL: I think you know what the problem just as well as I do.

DAVE: What are you talking about, HAL?

Edited by Doctor J
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13 hours ago, Doctor J said:

Just what the world needs, another Jazz clo... wait a minute... what the hell is going on there? They look like they’re in pain!

There's a significant scoliosis evident that suggest either traumatic birth, undetected childhood spinal injury, or possibly degenerative neuromuscular disease :) 

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Design team initial conversation:

We need a new design that will set us aside from the rest of the bass market but we're struggling for ideas. 

How about taking an existing, well established design and just making a few subtle improvements to make it our own? 

Nah, it's been done a million times already and besides, coming up with improvements sounds like a lot of work. 

Okay then, thinking outside the box - how about taking an existing, well established design and instead of making a few subtle improvements, we make one large and completely pointless change that intentionally makes it immeasurably worse instead? I'll bet nobody's tried that before. 

Perfect! Just make sure it turns out to be a complete horror show - if we actually sell any we could find ourselves on the receiving end of a lawsuit! 

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Thought they'd turned up here before.

https://www.basschat.co.uk/topic/221028-artisan-bass-works/

https://www.basschat.co.uk/topic/292340-you-want-ugly-ill-give-you-ugly/

Mercifully both links pre-date the forum update so there are no images attached. Their website seems to no longer exist so presumably this was not a succesful re-imagining of classic designs. Plenty of stuff turns up when Googled, including the fact that this appears to be a design philosophy to create an instrument that "holds the neck in the playing position with no effort on the part of the player" Hmm.

There were also original(ish) designs, but these aren't a great deal less aesthetically challenged than their Wonk Fenders (hidden for the sake of the sensitive):
 

Spoiler


C5hdYjoUYAAASxC.jpg

 

 

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They could have at least put the headstock on a slant too so it lines up with the body. Then it would look even bett... oh, hold on, it’d still be awful!

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It’s the sort of bass that someone might buy to naively help make some sort of statement that they (and/or their band) “push the bounds“.

But that will either simply fail abysmally and just look silly, or (much less likely); these basses will become so popular among a certain demographic that they become part of the establishment and don’t push any bounds at all.

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