musicbassman Posted August 21, 2020 Share Posted August 21, 2020 2 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stewblack Posted August 21, 2020 Share Posted August 21, 2020 Oh my, this brings back memories. The guy who wants to discuss my equipment with me while I am actually playing 🤦🏼♂️ 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Woodinblack Posted August 21, 2020 Share Posted August 21, 2020 11 minutes ago, stewblack said: Oh my, this brings back memories. The guy who wants to discuss my equipment with me while I am actually playing 🤦🏼♂️ Well, at least they want to discuss your equipment not some other totally random thing, that is sort of a bonus. He missed out the person who wants to have a discussion with you while you are singing, and the person who wants to shake your hand while you are playing 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pete.young Posted August 21, 2020 Share Posted August 21, 2020 "That's a big fiddle mate, will it fit under your chin?" 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dom in Dorset Posted August 21, 2020 Share Posted August 21, 2020 I used to deliver pianos for a living and every time we unloaded one from the back of the van a witty passer by would say "Give us a tune mate!" If we weren't trying to man handle an extremely heavy and awkward object we would have collapsed with laughter every time we heard this . NOT. 2 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pete.young Posted August 21, 2020 Share Posted August 21, 2020 2 hours ago, Dom in Dorset said: I used to deliver pianos for a living and every time we unloaded one from the back of the van a witty passer by would say "Give us a tune mate!" If we weren't trying to man handle an extremely heavy and awkward object we would have collapsed with laughter every time we heard this . NOT. "Dad, do you know the piano's on my foot?" "You hum it son, I'll play it!" 1 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bassman68 Posted August 21, 2020 Share Posted August 21, 2020 "Why do you have five strings, when bass should be one note at a time?" "Oi Ringo (Macca/Lennon etc.)" "Are you all miming, what with all those blinking lights in those boxes?" 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Painy Posted August 21, 2020 Share Posted August 21, 2020 Me checking my mic level: "1 2, 1 2". Punter at the back of the room yells: "3 4"! Punter then laughs hysterically at his own 'joke' and attempts to high-five his nearest mate who just stares at him blankly. Over the past 24 years that I have been gigging I have played a little over 1500 gigs. In that time I have witnessed this happening a little over 1500 times. 🙄 6 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Black Coffee Posted August 21, 2020 Share Posted August 21, 2020 ”the bass is too loud” do people not understand that its all about me 🤨 3 1 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MacDaddy Posted August 21, 2020 Share Posted August 21, 2020 "you won't get paid but it will be good exposure" 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
acidbass Posted August 21, 2020 Share Posted August 21, 2020 (edited) "Play me the intro to Sweet Child o Mine/Sweet Home Alabama/Smoke on the Water" "I can't, this is a bass guitar" "What's the difference?" Proceed to explain for 5 seconds the differences before punter stares blankly and walks away Edited August 21, 2020 by acidbass 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PaulWarning Posted August 21, 2020 Share Posted August 21, 2020 you ought to do a cover of (insert name of a song here) 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
40hz Posted August 21, 2020 Share Posted August 21, 2020 (edited) Engineers in the studio - "Can't you just use a Fender?" The response is usually along the lines of "No" with varying severity. Edited August 21, 2020 by 40hz 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Woodinblack Posted August 21, 2020 Share Posted August 21, 2020 9 minutes ago, 40hz said: Engineers in the studio - "Can't you just use a Fender?" Sorry, I didn't realise you only knew how to use presets! 2 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Greg Edwards69 Posted August 21, 2020 Share Posted August 21, 2020 Actually had this from a punter (I paraphrase). "Why have you got all those pedals, you're a bass player, you don't need any? Norman Wattroy doesn't need them." "I'm not Norman Wattroy, and he doesn't play Muse songs in his set" PS, All those pedals - about 6 stomp boxes on a pedal train jnr! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
oldslapper Posted August 21, 2020 Share Posted August 21, 2020 (edited) “I’m going now, it’s ok I’ve packed up my mic” ”I’m going to the bar now, it’s ok I’ll pack up my mic later” ”No it’s fine, these guys have got it covered, ....so your name’s Estelle? Well “Estelle”, let me show you my mic” “Thanks for letting me use your mic bass player person, I’ll let you pack it up, as I overheard you say earlier that you know where you’d like to put it” Obviously I don’t count singers as musicians.... General public generally don’t approach me at gigs. 🥳 Edited August 21, 2020 by oldslapper Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dan Dare Posted August 21, 2020 Share Posted August 21, 2020 16 minutes ago, Greg Edwards69 said: Actually had this from a punter (I paraphrase). "Why have you got all those pedals, you're a bass player, you don't need any? Norman Wattroy doesn't need them." "I'm not Norman Wattroy, and he doesn't play Muse songs in his set" PS, All those pedals - about 6 stomp boxes on a pedal train jnr! At least he cited an actual bass player. Could have been worse. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Delberthot Posted August 21, 2020 Share Posted August 21, 2020 Every gig ever "I used to play in a band, you know" really? How does flip off sound? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gjones Posted August 21, 2020 Share Posted August 21, 2020 I have been told TWICE!!!!!! to turn down because I was causing FEEDBACK!!!!!!. Not on the same night of course. feedback from a bass......at low volume......with the tone turned down to zero? The second time I was going straight into the desk, with no monitors or amps onstage. Were they INSANE!!!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dan Dare Posted August 21, 2020 Share Posted August 21, 2020 On being offered the loan instrument (not garbage, but a no name/bitsa) at a weekly jam I'm in the house band at - "No, no. I'll play yours". Oh will you indeed, sunshine... "So what job do you do during the day?" "My mate's a really good singer/guitar player/etc. Call him up for a song". "Can you play Xxx?" "Sorry, don't know it". "You must". "No really. We don't". "It goes ner ner na na, etc, etc". 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
juliusmonk Posted August 21, 2020 Share Posted August 21, 2020 “What kind of piano is that?” 😁 should be followed, without waiting for an answer, by “I have a 2 million dollar hand-made Barbinsky from the 18th century with pure ebony pedals, but this sounds good for what it is” also the kind of girl that starts passionately dancing to your music telling you you’re great (“hey, we’re onto something here” one thinks), then you discover she’s totally drunk and does exactly the same routine with ANY kind of band/music... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fleabag Posted August 21, 2020 Share Posted August 21, 2020 Me testing my mic during set-up.. " 1-2-1-2 " Comedian in the audience ... " Drummer's IQ " Stern look from our drummer 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jezzaboy Posted August 21, 2020 Share Posted August 21, 2020 (edited) Someone always says "you should hear my mate singing, she`s great!" Usually a drunk woman. I blame X factor, Mickie Most and Hughie Green. All Ba*tards! Edited August 21, 2020 by jezzaboy 2 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Len_derby Posted August 21, 2020 Share Posted August 21, 2020 ‘You’ll have to pay for your own drinks’. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dan Dare Posted August 21, 2020 Share Posted August 21, 2020 (edited) "What do you mean, you want to be paid? You enjoy it". Edited August 21, 2020 by Dan Dare 3 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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