Annoying things people say to musicians

[mcnach]

17 hours ago, juliusmonk said:

Guy very close to the stage standing still with absolutely no expression, beer in hand. He doesn’t even drink, just holds the beer. Nothing is said, but still... 

 

after what seems a very long time, you casually turn around, and he’s gone. I think they are ghosts from Xmas past

 

He was the previous bass player in the band...

[mcnach]

4 hours ago, Woodinblack said:

Yeh, either it is in the next set or if they have just come in 'oh sorry, you missed it, we have already done that one'

 

Or introduce the next song as the one requested, but play something else.

We got a group of guys asking for Wonderwall, we are a ska/reggae/funk band playing originals. Singer would nod, then introduce the next song as Wonderwall to the joy of those guys... and watching their disappointed faces was hilarious, because he did that at least 4 times

 

[mcnach]

4 hours ago, ClassicVibes said:

See, playing originals, you rarely get this sort of thing and we stopped playing pubs a long time ago. I mean you still get drunk punters but that's about it. We never play a gig we won't be paid for and agree the fee beforehand.

You have to remember that these 'music experts' are blokes who have been going to the same pub, having the same drink, the same conversation for the last 30 years.

 

Playing originals... a girl told me I didn't play it like in the record.

.

.

.

She was right too! That song was on our first album and I had since changed the bassline. It turned out she was learning to play bass and learning our songs!

We've been together 5 years now

[mcnach]

4 hours ago, yorks5stringer said:

I used to get "I see you play a 5 string bass......(punter leaves  pause to see if their diligence in spotting an extra string is rewarded with a witty come-back from said Bassist). If non forthcoming then usually followed up with "So why do you have an extra string?"

 

reply with a horrified face "oh my gawd!!! It's true!!! how did it happen???"

[Ricky 4000]

15 minutes ago, mcnach said:

 

He was the previous bass player in the band...

Carl !!!? 😮

[lownote]

15 hours ago, mcnach said:

 

He was the previous bass player in the band...

Oooh, don't.  That was ME when I turned up to haunt the band I'd left.  Stand, judgementally and very still with drink, then slide away early as if I've seen enough.

Edited August 23, 2020 by lownote12

[drTStingray]

1 hour ago, mcnach said:

 

Or introduce the next song as the one requested, but play something else. 

I recall this type of thing happening - the band I was playing in played at a sports bar which was populated by a range of largely middle aged people getting more and more drunk - having already played Signed Sealed Delivered a rather noisy chap kept shouting play some Tamla Motown so our singer (who was probably as drunk as some of the audience and didn't take fools lightly) introduced the next song as for him and we played Blockbuster by the Sweet. The guy who kept requesting Tamla shouted thanks after it (it actually went down a storm with the audience)!! 😂

Another example of stupid things said by people to musicians - a drummer asked me why I don't play a Precision - I suggested he should take care of his own playing as when he came to my house the previous night, I knew it was him knocking at the door as the knocking slowed down 😬👍 😂

and anyway where are his roto toms and synth drum (we were playing late 70s/early 80s disco)!! 

This is all v tongue in cheek btw 😏 I have come across drummers who've complained of other musicians not considering them to be fellow musicians and have been quite sympathetic (however this may relate to occasionally people coming across drummers who appear to be practising building a flat pack shed 😂)

Edited August 22, 2020 by drTStingray

[JapanAxe]

6 hours ago, yorks5stringer said:

I used to get "I see you play a 5 string bass......(punter leaves  pause to see if their diligence in spotting an extra string is rewarded with a witty come-back from said Bassist). If non forthcoming then usually followed up with "So why do you have an extra string?"

Sadly I once had a guitarist I was playing with query why 4 strings were ‘not enough’ for me. Yes, a guitarist, with his 6 strings. He was less than half my age, so I guess it was ok to let him off for that one.

[Doctor J]

On 21/08/2020 at 16:34, gjones said:

I  have been told TWICE!!!!!! to turn down because I was causing FEEDBACK!!!!!!.

Not on the same night of course.

feedback from a bass......at low volume......with the tone turned down to zero?

The second time I was going straight into the desk, with no monitors or amps onstage. 

Were they INSANE!!!!!!

 

If you play BASS!!!!! like you TYPE!!!!! then I think I UNDERSTAND!!!!! why.

[StickyDBRmf]

I was in a band with a 5 piece horn section and we did Chicago, BS&T, Zappa, Stanley Clarke, other stuff w/ horns, and originals. Someone kept asking for Stairway To Heaven. I kept telling him we don't do that. Next set he's screaming Stairway To Heaven!!! so our guitarist starts Stairway, and we go into "My Guitar Wants To Kill Your Mama". He gave us the finger I couldn't stop laughing.

I now play the Chapman Stick...be prepared for LOTS of questions. But when someone asks "How do you tune it?" I like to say "With these little thingys up here..."

[Lozz196]

Punk covers band 

Drunk bird says “play some Bon Jovi“

I play some BonJovi

Drunk bird says “no, play some Bon Jovi”

I diplomatically yell through the mic “I just ferkin did”

Rest of pub laugh, drunk bird decides she can’t work out what’s going on, but that we're obviously rubbish so leaves the pub
 

 

[Lozz196]

Oh and my pet hate, from a promoter or stage manager:

“The headliners won’t move their drums so you’ll have to set up around them.“

This makes me want to urinate or defecate over said immovable kit.

[Doctor J]

Add tools who leave their pedalboards on the stage and I’m with you.

[uk_lefty]

I rarely tell people I work with that I play music. Because it's usually followed by:

Snorts of derision at doing anything creative

"I played in a band at school..." followed by some bull story about being really good but not having x, y, z and then giving up. Turns out they had a my first guitar book and gave up after a week. 

I know someone in a band, they play all the Oasis songs... Yawn, boring story about someone you don't know and will never meet being in a band. 

We should have a Finance Department/ Marketing Department/ whatever department band at the end of year do, it will be great! (it won't) 

Did you play this weekend?! With excited mouth open expression followed by air guitar action, very loud so the entire office can hear and thinks you and the lunatic are rock music buddies. 

 

[uk_lefty]

One of our last gigs we kept hearing "PLAY AC DC!!!" At the end of each song. So the guitars plays the opening riff of back in black, hecklers get excited and without any prior rehearsal the three of us with mics all said "nah, we don't know it" couldn't have done it better if we tried. Never got asked for it again. 

[Krysbass]

I learned in my youth that there are other, non-musical equivalents of this.  Back when I left school, I did some work experience helping a surveyor at Lime Street station in Liverpool.  Armed with a theodolite and taking various readings over a couple of days; I lost count of the number of people compelled to pose for the “camera” in what, to them at least, was a display of epic and inventive comic genius.

So in my gigging exploits over the decades since then not much surprises me.  And I’m also aware that in any case; it’s mostly the singer and/or guitarist who are the main focus of weird, unwarranted or plain unwanted attention from punters at gigs.  I think many non-musical types still struggle to understand what bassists do.

[PaulWarning]

17 minutes ago, Krysbass said:

 

 And I’m also aware that in any case; it’s mostly the singer and/or guitarist who are the main focus of weird, unwarranted or plain unwanted attention from punters at gigs.  I think many non-musical types still struggle to understand what bassists do.

which is why I'm ok with the singer leaving setting up/ tearing down the PA to me and the drummer while he handles the 'networking' , he loves it though, like all good frontmen he likes all the attention

[Woodinblack]

18 hours ago, mcnach said:

 

He was the previous bass player in the band...

Carl? Is that you??

- edit

18 hours ago, Ricky 4000 said:

Carl !!!? 😮

Ha, beat me to it!

Edited August 23, 2020 by Woodinblack