Taking myself by scruff of neck

[lownote]

Six months into (premature) retirement and two weeks into lockdown 2 I found myself running out of things to do and also drifting towards depression. I had given myself five things to do - bass practice, sax prax, getting better at watercolour portraits, riding bicycles and writing my maiden novel. The trouble is I am irredeemably shite at the first three things, it's winter,  and the novel will never happen - and it's miserable being made aware of this (again). Realising depression is not a good place to go, I took stock and realised that one way of putting off re-realisation of the shite threshold is to pretend I'm starting from scratch. So today I dusted off the Ed Friedland walking bass course, Scott Devine's technique accelerator course and started Scott Paddock's excellent sax course right from the start. So far so good. I am posting this primarily as a motivational pressure on myself to avoid back sliding.   YMMV.

[Nail Soup]

Great to have those 5 targets. I think the most liberating this is to stop caring if you are 'good' or not (and how can you decide that anyway) and just enjoy the process of learning and doing.

Keep going and stay well.

[Dad3353]

9 minutes ago, lownote12 said:

Six months into (premature) retirement...

Make daily notes, in diary form or whatever you wish, as a way into writing. The thing about novels is that they don't just spring from the blank pages. Get writing, at least about your day, and start making notes, while you're at it, on the novel. It'll come together, along with the rest. You can do it, that's certain. 

Edited November 18, 2020 by Dad3353

[Newfoundfreedom]

Well done for pulling yourself up by the boot straps and starting this thread to keep you going. I know all too well how difficult it is to motivate yourself to do anything when the black dog is biting. 

[ezbass]

It’s good news that you’ve found something else to keep the black dog at bay, I had a similar experience when I retired, I thought when I was working I was just occasionally a miserable bugger, but it turns out I have cyclothymia (or bi-polar lite as it’s sometimes called). I have found that keeping my zinc levels up helps with the extremes of the mood swings and that it also helps keep colds at bay is an extra bonus.

Anyway, that backstory aside, I was struck by your comment about being shite at some of your new pastimes because I read this just the other day from the genius that is Kurt Vonnegut:

”When I was 15, I spent a month working on an archeological dig.  I was talking to one of the archeologists one day during our lunch break and he asked those kinds of “getting to know you” questions you ask young people: Do you play sports?  What’s your favorite subject?   And I told him, no I don’t play any sports.  I do theater, I’m in choir, I play the violin and piano, I used to take art classes.
And he went WOW.  That’s amazing!  And I said, “Oh no, but I’m not any good at ANY of them.”
And he said something then that I will never forget and which absolutely blew my mind because no one had ever said anything like it to me before: “I don’t think being good at things is the point of doing them.  I think you’ve got all these wonderful experiences with different skills, and that all teaches you things and makes you an interesting person, no matter how well you do them.”
And that honestly changed my life.  Because I went from a failure, someone who hadn’t been talented enough at anything to excel, to someone who did things because I enjoyed them.  I had been raised in such an achievement-oriented environment, so inundated with the myth of Talent, that I thought it was only worth doing things if you could “Win” at them.”

I hope that helps a bit.

[Newfoundfreedom]

2 minutes ago, ezbass said:

It’s good news that you’ve found something else to keep the black dog at bay, I had a similar experience when I retired, I thought when I was working I was just occasionally a miserable bugger, but it turns out I have cyclothymia (or bi-polar lite as it’s sometimes called). I have found that keeping my zinc levels up helps with the extremes of the mood swings and that it also helps keep colds at bay is an extra bonus.

Anyway, that backstory aside, I was struck by your comment about being shite at some of your new pastimes because I read this just the other day from the genius that is Kurt Vonnegut:

”When I was 15, I spent a month working on an archeological dig.  I was talking to one of the archeologists one day during our lunch break and he asked those kinds of “getting to know you” questions you ask young people: Do you play sports?  What’s your favorite subject?   And I told him, no I don’t play any sports.  I do theater, I’m in choir, I play the violin and piano, I used to take art classes.
And he went WOW.  That’s amazing!  And I said, “Oh no, but I’m not any good at ANY of them.”
And he said something then that I will never forget and which absolutely blew my mind because no one had ever said anything like it to me before: “I don’t think being good at things is the point of doing them.  I think you’ve got all these wonderful experiences with different skills, and that all teaches you things and makes you an interesting person, no matter how well you do them.”
And that honestly changed my life.  Because I went from a failure, someone who hadn’t been talented enough at anything to excel, to someone who did things because I enjoyed them.  I had been raised in such an achievement-oriented environment, so inundated with the myth of Talent, that I thought it was only worth doing things if you could “Win” at them.”

I hope that helps a bit.

Superb way to look at things. 

[Teebs]

What a great way to approach the situation!

I wish you every success & am sure you'll persevere and succeed.

I look forward to reading your novel, or seeing some of your paintings on Basschat in the future.

Best wishes

[TheLowDown]

If you're considering writing a novel or embarking on some other project, it's  often a good idea to do "stream of consciousness" journaling where you just write whatever is on your mind. No matter what you start with - the weather, the lockdown, grandma's cooking - it always leads onto more interesting and productive subjects, and quite often you can end up solving many personal problems  and generating creative ideas just by expressing yourself. It's a great stress reliever and allows you to reoganise things in your mind so that they don't seem so scary or complicated.

Good luck! And take things one at a time.

Edited November 18, 2020 by TheLowDown

[pbasspecial]

The family motto/maxim/whatever it’s called I used to say to my son on his way into primary school every morning was ‘do YOUR best and have fun!’  
 

 

 

[Crawford13]

Posting something like this to hold yourself accountable is exactly what I do when I'm scared I will give up when some gets hard. Great job. 

The other thing is being "shite" is subjective, the fact that you can approach walking bass lines and understand what Scott is talking about is his courses means you are not shite by any strech of the imagination. Give yourself some credit, you deserve it 

[uk_lefty]

Fair play to you! Two massive lessons in this thread:

Enjoy the process of learning, rather than fixate on the outcome. 

Stoke your enthusiasm by putting yourself in the mindset of a complete beginner. I really like this one and will take it with me in to work and leisure.