krispn Posted March 15, 2021 Share Posted March 15, 2021 53 minutes ago, Wolverinebass said: I think what demos are missing is Patrick Hunter. Without his presence demos will sound different which will lead to bass players all over the world scratching their heads like confused plumbers. Soon, Patrick Hunter will be doing all effect pedal demos. Everything will sound the same. One clip of him gurning like a hyena with a particularly unpleasant rectal problem will become interchangeable with another. All pedals will sound like Darkglass. Later, a sub culture of bass players who could remember the days before Patrick Hunter gather together round outdoor fires trying to pass on knowledge that bass doesn't always have to sound hyper distorted and played like a seal having a stroke. After elderly bassists try to teach the next generation how to use a chorus pedal properly, all bass pedal companies are bought over by Darkglass with Doug Castro selling a range of pedals which are all B7k Ultra pedals with stickers over them that say "flanger," "delay," or even "ring modulator." Patrick Hunter is brought in to ensure reviews are conducted in their usual "dog chasing it's tail" way. Soon Patrick Hunter becomes revered as a bass playing god by the younger generation. Any review causes Darkglass shares to increase by 10% in value so much that Doug Castro is able to buy Amazon and turn it into a bass pedal shipping company. The population's needs are soon insatiable for more reviews and pedals. Dissent from anyone not playing a Dingwall/Darkglass combination is crushed mercilessly by Getgood stormtroopers. Anyone over 40 playing "Mr. Pink" on a Status Kingbass is executed immediately as an enemy of the state. Patrick Hunter is elected as Secretary General of the UN which by this point is nothing more than an extension of the Darkglass empire. All music is now controlled with Patrick Hunter limiting it to only songs which have Darkglass products used on them. Djent and Metalcore experience a resurgence in popularity. However, underground, a small group of p bass players using flats have managed to survive. Classified as terrorists, these bass players have avoided the Getgood kill squads and are now trying to bring down the system, by exposing the population to Jaco Pastorius and Kajagoogoo. Despite information being tightly controlled, they plot furtively in the shadows for the end of the Darkglass/Hunter hegemony imposed now by Getgood stormtroopers. As part of their published manifesto, they insist that all "Youtubers" will be prosecuted for crimes against humanity with trials being held in Silicon Valley. With these revolutionary ideas gaining traction, the one pedal state is planning a crackdown.... Superb! 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cuzzie Posted March 15, 2021 Share Posted March 15, 2021 1 hour ago, Wolverinebass said: I think what demos are missing is Patrick Hunter. Without his presence demos will sound different which will lead to bass players all over the world scratching their heads like confused plumbers. Soon, Patrick Hunter will be doing all effect pedal demos. Everything will sound the same. One clip of him gurning like a hyena with a particularly unpleasant rectal problem will become interchangeable with another. All pedals will sound like Darkglass. Later, a sub culture of bass players who could remember the days before Patrick Hunter gather together round outdoor fires trying to pass on knowledge that bass doesn't always have to sound hyper distorted and played like a seal having a stroke. After elderly bassists try to teach the next generation how to use a chorus pedal properly, all bass pedal companies are bought over by Darkglass with Doug Castro selling a range of pedals which are all B7k Ultra pedals with stickers over them that say "flanger," "delay," or even "ring modulator." Patrick Hunter is brought in to ensure reviews are conducted in their usual "dog chasing it's tail" way. Soon Patrick Hunter becomes revered as a bass playing god by the younger generation. Any review causes Darkglass shares to increase by 10% in value so much that Doug Castro is able to buy Amazon and turn it into a bass pedal shipping company. The population's needs are soon insatiable for more reviews and pedals. Dissent from anyone not playing a Dingwall/Darkglass combination is crushed mercilessly by Getgood stormtroopers. Anyone over 40 playing "Mr. Pink" on a Status Kingbass is executed immediately as an enemy of the state. Patrick Hunter is elected as Secretary General of the UN which by this point is nothing more than an extension of the Darkglass empire. All music is now controlled with Patrick Hunter limiting it to only songs which have Darkglass products used on them. Djent and Metalcore experience a resurgence in popularity. However, underground, a small group of p bass players using flats have managed to survive. Classified as terrorists, these bass players have avoided the Getgood kill squads and are now trying to bring down the system, by exposing the population to Jaco Pastorius and Kajagoogoo. Despite information being tightly controlled, they plot furtively in the shadows for the end of the Darkglass/Hunter hegemony imposed now by Getgood stormtroopers. As part of their published manifesto, they insist that all "Youtubers" will be prosecuted for crimes against humanity with trials being held in Silicon Valley. With these revolutionary ideas gaining traction, the one pedal state is planning a crackdown.... I am just happy someone managed to get Mr Pink and Ring modulator in a fantastic piece of prose. Will these Getgood Stormtroopers be just as crap at shooting and not hit a cows bum with a banjo Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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