When BVs Go Bad

[Rich]

1 hour ago, tegs07 said:

I believe this is a drunk and uninvited Jim Morrison “contributing” to Jimi Hendrix 

 

Ye gods, as if a sober and invited one wasn't bad enough.

[Nail Soup]

1 hour ago, tegs07 said:

I believe this is a drunk and uninvited Jim Morrison “contributing” to Jimi Hendrix 

 

I wonder if, ahem, ‘little Jim’ made an appearance?

[SteveXFR]

4 hours ago, ubit said:

Man this brings back some memories for me. Why do drunk people think that everyone in the bar wants to hear them sing rather than the band? It happened to us so many times. Then there was the can I sing? Every time they were rotten and if you refused they got shirty.

 

Is that a Gibson Telecaster? (Pointing at Rickenbacker bass) Can I play it for a song? I once stood in for Keith Moon on guitar with Aerosmith on the slipery when wet tour. 

[Happy Jack]

My favorite was the teenaged girl who pproached me between songs, asked if I'd ever heard of Keith Moon and told me that he'd been the Lead Drummer for a famous pop group ...

 

[ubit]

I have been playing and singing (I'm the vocalist so I am singing pretty much all of the time) and people have come up to me and said how's it going? What are you up to?  I mean seriously?

[Roger2611]

We were "lucky" enough to be joined on stage by a rather drunk young lady who managed to knock the fan over and promptly stand over it, skirt around her neck, knickers on show, we tried to get the older lady she was with to recover her from the stage and were proudly told "that's my daughter!"

[FinnDave]

We once had the police come in to a gig to attend to a chap who had wandered onto the stage and tried to talk to each of us in turn before tripping over the edge of the stage, banging his head on the PA and knocking himself out cold. 

Police asked us to keep laying until the ambulance arrived, then we stopped. Bloke was hospitalised with concussion.

Turned out he was trying to buy us each a drink! 

[Lozz196]

We had the Chief of Antwerp Police come on stage, hand on gun, hollering at us in Flemish. I’m not particularly fluent (as in I speak none) but I could tell he didn’t want to help on BVs.

[FinnDave]

10 minutes ago, Lozz196 said:

We had the Chief of Antwerp Police come on stage, hand on gun, hollering at us in Flemish. I’m not particularly fluent (as in I speak none) but I could tell he didn’t want to help on BVs.

Maybe he had a request he really wanted you to play!

The bit you didn't understand was probably Flemish for  Freebird.

[SPHDS]

Had a couple of those myself!
- Was playing a gig and some drunk yobbo tries to grab my mic, I wrestle it back, he goes again, etc.......afterwards have the band going 'you should have just let him have the mic.....' Thing was, they didn't spot the fact that due to the tiny stage, and the rat's nest of cables, every time he went for the mic, the PA speaker on its tripod lurched forward, had he got it off stage, the whole thing would have gone...
- Playing a rather 'interesting' Pub, a punter kept on shuffling up and trying to stroke/poke various members of the band.....!
- Watching a band in my local, a drunken woman kept on stumbling on stage, until the singer changed the chorus of 'Hard to Handle' to 'Hey Can Someone Get Her Off The (BLEEP) Stage Right Now'

[Bunion]

Would have been better if she’d tried stage diving….

[Count Bassy]

13 hours ago, Happy Jack said:

I wouldn't mind so much, but just two hours earlier I'd asked @gary mac if there was anything to watch out for at this pub and did he warn me?

 

😂

 

 

Well, I didn't know that Johnny Vegas played drums!

[ubit]

9 hours ago, Bunion said:

Would have been better if she’d tried stage diving….

 

 

And crowd surfed

[cetera]

12 hours ago, Lozz196 said:

We had the Chief of Antwerp Police come on stage, hand on gun, hollering at us in Flemish. I’m not particularly fluent (as in I speak none) but I could tell he didn’t want to help on BVs.

Maybe he was commanding you to "Play something you know!!" ?

 

[Woodinblack]

13 hours ago, Lozz196 said:

We had the Chief of Antwerp Police come on stage, hand on gun, hollering at us in Flemish. I’m not particularly fluent (as in I speak none) but I could tell he didn’t want to help on BVs.

 

There is something you don't expect in Hemel Hempstead!

[Newfoundfreedom]

I think the bloke in the white shirt must have been her carer. 

[Muzz]

I mentioned this sat the time, but a couple of weeks ago we had a gig in a bar-above-a-bar for a 40th, full of, let's say nasally-imbibed punters, and three songs into the second set one hero just stood right in front (like, a foot in front - there was no room for him to get round in between us, or I'm sure he would have tried) of the singer repeating 'I'll sing the next one' over and over as we were playing. Security were apparently busy downstairs in the public bar. Singer stopped the band, we packed up, got paid, and were back in the cars by 9:45.

 

After so many idiots at so many gigs, we have zero tolerance for them these days. Sadly, the huge increase in the aforementioned nasal stimulants as the core of a night out means there's even more of them about...

[Rich]

Playing with my old jazz trio, in a jazz venue, on a jazz night, I had an irritating student type ask me if we could play Iron Man by Black Sabbath. The first time, it was amusing and I laughed. After the eighth or ninth time of being told 'oh come on, surely you must know it, play it', I snapped and invited him in no uncertain terms to sex-and-travel.

[SteveXFR]

Just now, Rich said:

Playing with my old jazz trio, in a jazz venue, on a jazz night, I had an irritating student type ask me if we could play Iron Man by Black Sabbath. The first time, it was amusing and I laughed. After the eighth or ninth time of being told 'oh come on, surely you must know it, play it', I snapped and invited him in no uncertain terms to sex-and-travel.

 

It is a great song though. You should have played it.

[neepheid]

Is "we're not a f'n jukebox" the wrong answer?

[Happy Jack]

Playing with the Dynamites last month at a big WMC (bear in mind that we are strictly rock'n'roll & rockabilly) the table nearest the band spent the entire evening requesting Mustang Sally, over and over again.

 

They weren't trying to be funny, or even post-ironic, they were just ignorant bubble-heads.

 

We kept telling them that it would be "in the next set".

 

[Woodinblack]

At the wedding that we did recently some lady wanted us to play that one that goes 'la la la la la' by the red hot chilli peppers, oh come on everyone knows that one, its easy. Apparently.

[ubit]

1 hour ago, Muzz said:

one hero just stood right in front (like, a foot in front - there was no room for him to get round in between 

 

 

This happened to me many years ago. We were playing in a pub with a very small stage only about 12 inches high. Just enough to lift the band above the punters. This ignorant girl came and stood right in front of me on the stage with her back to me. It was clearly meant to wind me up as she came from a hard family and was friends with an ex of mine. The security moved her off and she waited until he moved away and stood there again. I was singing and playing and had to suffer this until she got bored with her stupid little game. I had the last laugh when we got a good reception right enough.

[ubit]

56 minutes ago, Happy Jack said:

They weren't trying to be funny, or even post-ironic

 

 

What kind of a band are you? Every one knows that any band should be able to do any song at the drop of a hat.

 

We were actually asked this frequently when we said we didn't know particular songs. 

[Muzz]

I thought we'd had a lot of this at all sorts of gigs until we started playing regularly at a 'proper' Irish bar in the city centre. The requests for obscure Irish songs* are pretty constant (think Father Ted's Mrs Doyle), as is the look of affronted amazement when you tell them you don't know the song in question...then they forget and just enjoy themselves anyway...

 

* Including the Irish classic Dirty Old Town...you know, the one written by a bloke from Salford about Salford (we do do that one, tho)...one of the bouncers told me he wins twenty or thirty quid in bets every week from hammered punters convinced it's Irish. He has the Wiki page as a shortcut on his phone for proof and everything... 🙂