gjones Posted October 19, 2021 Share Posted October 19, 2021 I joined a band before the pandemic, we had a few rehearsals, then lockdown happened. After the lockdown I decided that I was going to push things along, get a set rehearsed and get everybody organised for gigging. Then the drummer told me he was vulnerable to covid as he had diabetes and had diabetes heart issues. He told me he didn't want to gig until 2022 at the earliest. This put a spanner in the works, as I was planning to get us gigging by the start of winter at the latest. So, although I'm still organising rehearsals, I'm not putting the same effort in to get us up to speed. After all we won't be gigging with our current drummer, until some time in 2022. So far I haven't told the two guitarists, as I'm afraid they'll either want to kick him out, or quit the band. Should I tell the guitarists or not? I'd like to know your opinions. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ezbass Posted October 19, 2021 Share Posted October 19, 2021 (edited) 2022 at the earliest could mean autumn/winter 2022 or even later, your drummer has solid reasons for being apprehensive, but the timescale is too vague and he could decide not to gig at all, potentially resulting in a lot of wasted time. Best to be upfront about it IMO, have a way forward and a change in personnel if required. Edited October 19, 2021 by ezbass 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fretmeister Posted October 19, 2021 Share Posted October 19, 2021 He should be telling them. 10 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ezbass Posted October 19, 2021 Share Posted October 19, 2021 Just now, fretmeister said: He should be telling them. Indeed. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
toneknob Posted October 19, 2021 Share Posted October 19, 2021 Tell him to tell them. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jus Lukin Posted October 19, 2021 Share Posted October 19, 2021 (edited) - Edited March 15, 2022 by Jus Lukin 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bassfinger Posted October 19, 2021 Share Posted October 19, 2021 Why nother rehearsing at all as a band if you can't get out and play? Either fire him, or leave yourself and seek out a band that is actually playing, or give him a polite ultimatum to go gigging (Im sure he leaves the house for other reasons when it suits him). Hes not the only medically vulnerable person out there, and the rest of us are getting on with itm,going to work, shopping, wherever. We're all double jabbed in our outfit and being sensible with distancing and cleanliness, and that's all any of us can do anywhere anyway. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gjones Posted October 19, 2021 Author Share Posted October 19, 2021 22 minutes ago, Bassfinger said: Why nother rehearsing at all as a band if you can't get out and play? Either fire him, or leave yourself and seek out a band that is actually playing, or give him a polite ultimatum to go gigging (Im sure he leaves the house for other reasons when it suits him). Hes not the only medically vulnerable person out there, and the rest of us are getting on with itm,going to work, shopping, wherever. We're all double jabbed in our outfit and being sensible with distancing and cleanliness, and that's all any of us can do anywhere anyway. I like the guy but you're right, I don't like him enough to allow him to hold us back from gigging. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
police squad Posted October 19, 2021 Share Posted October 19, 2021 yep, be honest, tell em and see what they want to do 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chris_b Posted October 19, 2021 Share Posted October 19, 2021 He should tell them and offer to step aside. Have a band vote and if the outcome is to find another drummer then that's what you do. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fretmeister Posted October 19, 2021 Share Posted October 19, 2021 Be kind. Ask him to tell the others within say, a week, or you will have to because it's getting in the way of making arrangements. He might actually want to back out but finds it easier to tell you as the new guy than his long standing mates. He might even be expecting you to tell them and might be surprised you haven't. Doesn't have to be an aggressive conversation - ask him in a way that doesn't close any doors in the future. 9 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mr4stringz Posted October 19, 2021 Share Posted October 19, 2021 1 hour ago, fretmeister said: Be kind. Ask him to tell the others within say, a week, or you will have to because it's getting in the way of making arrangements. He might actually want to back out but finds it easier to tell you as the new guy than his long standing mates. He might even be expecting you to tell them and might be surprised you haven't. Doesn't have to be an aggressive conversation - ask him in a way that doesn't close any doors in the future. 100% this. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bobthedog Posted October 19, 2021 Share Posted October 19, 2021 What do the two guitarists want to do? If they want to gig sooner, then the drummer should step down. If they are happy to rehearse / jam for some time, perhaps you should step down. Get the band together at the next rehearsal and lead a discussion. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gjones Posted October 19, 2021 Author Share Posted October 19, 2021 8 minutes ago, Bobthedog said: What do the two guitarists want to do? If they want to gig sooner, then the drummer should step down. If they are happy to rehearse / jam for some time, perhaps you should step down. Get the band together at the next rehearsal and lead a discussion. I'm happy to attend rehearsals until the drummer is ready to return to gigging in hot sweaty dives, if that's what the rest of the band want to do. I'm also happy to think about recruiting another drummer if they want to get gigging sooner. I think I'll break it to them after the next rehearsal on Thursday. The drummer usually shoots off pretty sharpish, so that will give me and the singer (who already knows about the situation) some time to discuss things with the guitarists. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bobthedog Posted October 19, 2021 Share Posted October 19, 2021 1 hour ago, gjones said: I'm happy to attend rehearsals until the drummer is ready to return to gigging in hot sweaty dives, if that's what the rest of the band want to do. I'm also happy to think about recruiting another drummer if they want to get gigging sooner. I think I'll break it to them after the next rehearsal on Thursday. The drummer usually shoots off pretty sharpish, so that will give me and the singer (who already knows about the situation) some time to discuss things with the guitarists. Don’t wait for the drummer to leave, start the conversation with the whole band there asking what they want to do. If they say they want to gig now, it will sound the drummer out to make a decisions. No confrontation needed. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SteveXFR Posted October 19, 2021 Share Posted October 19, 2021 Definitely tell them, they deserve to know. The problem is that goof drummers are hard to find so it might take you a while to find a replacement and you may not actually get out and gig any sooner than waiting for your current drummer. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Downunderwonder Posted October 19, 2021 Share Posted October 19, 2021 9 hours ago, gjones said: After the lockdown I decided that I was going to push things along, get a set rehearsed and get everybody organised for gigging. So you made yourself the leader? Sorta, kinda, not really? Band meeting time. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gjones Posted October 19, 2021 Author Share Posted October 19, 2021 2 hours ago, Bobthedog said: Don’t wait for the drummer to leave, start the conversation with the whole band there asking what they want to do. If they say they want to gig now, it will sound the drummer out to make a decisions. No confrontation needed. The guitarists, although no spring chickens and probably pretty vulnerable themselves, are no fans of lockdowns and I suspect have sympathies with the ant vax/plandemic brigade. I suspect they would poo poo his worries about catching covid and I want to avoid confrontation if I can. Best to not have the drummer present, so that things can be discussed in a cool and thoughtful manner. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Woodinblack Posted October 20, 2021 Share Posted October 20, 2021 I am not sure what not letting everyone know the bands plans is going to help. Surely those things need to be discussed as a band so everyone knows? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
christhammer666 Posted October 20, 2021 Share Posted October 20, 2021 he should tell them. your all in it together there should be complete honesty all round 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gerryc Posted October 20, 2021 Share Posted October 20, 2021 They have got to know and he should be the one telling them. He should also do the decent thing and volunteer to step down. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gjones Posted October 24, 2021 Author Share Posted October 24, 2021 Well we have a band meeting tomorrow, where the drummers reluctance to gig will be discussed. He's already said he'll be happy to sit in at rehearsals until a new drummer is recruited. Now all we need is to find a decent drummer who is as committed to gigging as the rest of the band is. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
peteb Posted October 24, 2021 Share Posted October 24, 2021 It's nearly 2022 already and the chances are you wouldn't be gigging much this year (or even the beginning of next year) even if you wanted to. Give the guy a break... 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fretmeister Posted October 24, 2021 Share Posted October 24, 2021 On 19/10/2021 at 22:05, gjones said: The guitarists, although no spring chickens and probably pretty vulnerable themselves, are no fans of lockdowns and I suspect have sympathies with the ant vax/plandemic brigade. I suspect they would poo poo his worries about catching covid and I want to avoid confrontation if I can. Best to not have the drummer present, so that things can be discussed in a cool and thoughtful manner. If they are antivax conspiracy idiots I’d be quitting the band on principle. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
peteb Posted October 24, 2021 Share Posted October 24, 2021 I would just leave well alone and see where you are at the beginning of next year. Personally, I would be more worried about the attitude of the guitarists and if I was a drummer there was no way that I would play with them in the current situation. TBH the band sounds like a goner. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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