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How to deal with talkers at gigs


Nail Soup
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A joker doing a concert in a live music bar did it the best.

 

Dude takes the stage. ''Good evening''....silence.... crowd settles down....silence.... crowd settles down some more...... silence... just one table still jibber jabbering.......................... actual silence. ''You done yet?'' Round of applause. Gig starts.

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Screaming at the top of his voice with his face red with rage..

STOP Z band,  Stop Z band,,,,, OYYY, YOU !... I AM ZE TANK COMMANDEEERRRR ! NOT YOU, OK?..... RIGHT,  EINS, ZWEI, DREI, VIER,

seen that from Good ol george from the hex men.

worked a treat 🙂

Edited by funkgod
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I went to a gig by Ministry of Wolves. One of the members is Alexander Hacke from Einstürzende Neubauten, he's not a small guy. During a quiet part of a song you could hear a guy talking in the crowd. Whilst still playing the guitar Alex got off the stage, walked over to the guy and told him to STFU and calmly walked back. For most of the rest of the show he just stared at the guy in the crowd, almost daring him to talk again.

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We were at a comedy club in Newcastle once. If you've never been to a comedy club, you're really not allowed to talk.

 

A guy is taking all the way through this comedian's set so the bouncer goes over to him. It's quiet, right, so the whole room can hear, even the comedian has stopped. 

 

"You're gonna have to stop or I'm going to ask you to leave"

"But he's stinky poo!"

"I know, but rules are rules"

Edited by Jack
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I went to a folk festival a couple of years ago and there was a couple of incidents of parent allowing, nay, encouraging kids to play along to the act on percussion instruments. In one case a woman in front of the kid (it was a sit on the floor kind of thing - must have been right in her ear) leant back and asked him to stop. Kid was about 4 and stopped. Kid’s mum taps him on the shoulder and tells him that he doesn’t have to stop . He didn’t start again. 
Well done that woman it sounded bloody awful.

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