How to deal with talkers at gigs

[Nail Soup]

 

 

[StickyDBRmf]

Shut up you wombler! And get ready for the...

[StickyDBRmf]

I have to try this again. You can't say "wombler"?

[StickyDBRmf]

I guess not! Well, if that's not a curdled pudding I don't know what is.

[fleabag]

Nothing less than the disrespecting w@nkers deserve.  Nice work mr Moore.

[bigthumb]

He could go whack 'em with his shovel, unless he's forgotten it. 

[Downunderwonder]

A joker doing a concert in a live music bar did it the best.

 

Dude takes the stage. ''Good evening''....silence.... crowd settles down....silence.... crowd settles down some more...... silence... just one table still jibber jabbering.......................... actual silence. ''You done yet?'' Round of applause. Gig starts.

[TheGreek]

"Sorry...my performance isn't interrupting your conversation is it? I'll just wait till you've finished..."

[funkgod]

Screaming at the top of his voice with his face red with rage..

STOP Z band,  Stop Z band,,,,, OYYY, YOU !... I AM ZE TANK COMMANDEEERRRR ! NOT YOU, OK?..... RIGHT,  EINS, ZWEI, DREI, VIER,

seen that from Good ol george from the hex men.

worked a treat 🙂

Edited December 1, 2021 by funkgod

[SteveXFR]

I was watching Rage Against The Machine at Reading surrounded by a bunch of teenagers who wouldn't shut up and wouldn't give me the space to move and get away from them. In the end I decided if they wouldn't move, I'd just go through them which upset them quite a lot. 

[Doctor J]

You raged against the loud teens?

[SteveXFR]

I raged through the loud teens. 

[bagsieblue]

13 minutes ago, Doctor J said:

You raged against the loud teens?

Hahah   - Thats a great pun.  Genuine belly laugh at that one!

[Doctor J]

Thanks, I'm thinking of turning pro.

[bartelby]

I went to a gig by Ministry of Wolves. One of the members is Alexander Hacke from Einstürzende Neubauten, he's not a small guy. During a quiet part of a song you could hear a guy talking in the crowd. Whilst still playing the guitar Alex got off the stage, walked over to the guy and told him to STFU and calmly walked back. For most of the rest of the show he just stared at the guy in the crowd, almost daring him to talk again.

[Supernaut]

You are not allowed to talk at my gig... oh dear. 

[fleabag]

At Moore's gig, there were mics positioned up there and they were stood next to the mics rabbiting away so the whole place heard them
 

Edited December 2, 2021 by fleabag

[Bunion]

If you can hear them talking your not playing loud enough to make peoples ears bleed…

[Jack]

We were at a comedy club in Newcastle once. If you've never been to a comedy club, you're really not allowed to talk.

 

A guy is taking all the way through this comedian's set so the bouncer goes over to him. It's quiet, right, so the whole room can hear, even the comedian has stopped. 

 

"You're gonna have to stop or I'm going to ask you to leave"

"But he's stinky poo!"

"I know, but rules are rules"

Edited December 3, 2021 by Jack

[theplumber]

No one can hear a thing when we play,so it's not an issue.And I can't hear for a week afterwards...

[EssentialTension]

On 01/12/2021 at 11:15, Supernaut said:

You are not allowed to talk at my gig... oh dear. 

You can talk but there may be consequnces, such as you looking like a tw@t.

[EssentialTension]

I was in a flamenco club in Sevilla. A British visitor (no relation) was clapping along to the show.

He was quietly asked to cease & desist.

[Nail Soup]

I went to a folk festival a couple of years ago and there was a couple of incidents of parent allowing, nay, encouraging kids to play along to the act on percussion instruments. In one case a woman in front of the kid (it was a sit on the floor kind of thing - must have been right in her ear) leant back and asked him to stop. Kid was about 4 and stopped. Kid’s mum taps him on the shoulder and tells him that he doesn’t have to stop . He didn’t start again. 
Well done that woman it sounded bloody awful.