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Effects annoyances in general


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41 minutes ago, Thunderbird said:

Maybe not the greatest choice of words but it was a bit funny and it's oh so true lol

Yeah, maybe I should lighten up! Slap bass noodling in music shops is a bit of a cliche. Still, not the choicest use of words.

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17 hours ago, TheLowDown said:

@Quatschmacher@paul_5@Boodang

I thought I emphasised the point about the backend of the music. Effects may be useful for things like slap and other circus exhibits that are key part of idle home noodlings, showing off in record shops, and the w#*kery section in some bands, but are much less effective for the rhythm section.

Janek is more known for his solo stuff which is very much in the foreground. 
 

 

You'll have to forgive me if I laugh my arrse off at this.

 

 

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Anyway, moving away from asinine comments about w@nkery and circus exhibits -- one of my pet peeves in the past with some pedals has been their dismally small and dim status LEDs. I had a Boss Bass Chorus at one time and I ended up performing surgery on it to replace the tiny red 3mm LED that totally disappeared under stage lighting with a big bright green 5mm one with a wide viewing angle. Worked a treat but it was annoying that I needed to do it.

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9 minutes ago, ped said:

I don’t like it when pedals have ‘bass’ in the name like it’s some poor relation to the primary guitar version. Also not a fan of screen printed graphics (like illustrations) and really clicky foot switches

I don't think it makes them seem like a poor relation. It's generally just an easy way to show that the pedal has been tuned to lose less low end.

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1 hour ago, ped said:

I don’t like it when pedals have ‘bass’ in the name like it’s some poor relation to the primary guitar version. Also not a fan of screen printed graphics (like illustrations) and really clicky foot switches

When the pedal has 'bass' in it's name it means it's the superior version.... or it could be you've walked into the wrong shop and it's fishing supplies.

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On 13/01/2022 at 20:02, KingBollock said:

You’d hate some of my home made pedals then, they have really pretentious names.
Such as: Dank And Fetid Earth Beneath A Doom Coloured Sun, which is two different modded Big Muffs (a Musket and a ‘73 Ram’s Head. Both further modified by me) in one box.

And: The Scent Of Red Ruin Borne Upon A Mourning Breeze, which is a heavily modified Body Rot II.

 

Half the fun is coming up with names for them!

I respect a strong DIY theme. Most of my DIY stuff doesn't have a name but I tie the pedal to a theme through logic that only usually makes sense to me but is entirely dependable in my own head.

 

The one decorated with Londo Mollari, ambassador of the Centauri from Babylon 5? That's the klon centaur clone.

 

The one decorated with the black metal cat? The katzenkonig clone, obviously.

 

The one with Julio from the Simpsons? Naturally the walrus Julia clone.

 

What is life without convoluted inside jokes?

 

Edited by bobbass4k
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1 hour ago, paul_5 said:

indeed - I struggled to source 3 MXR style (and size) knobs in a garish purple. 
 

They were to go on my equally offensive Yellow pedal.

 

How else would you decorate a ‘Prunes and Custard’ clone?

 

@paul_5 your old 00Funk has now been defaced, I'm pretty sure it's put the resale value into negative equity. 

 

20220116_202434.thumb.jpg.ee106e789ed1be3b317e953b9a9b7680.jpg

 

 

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Boutique pedals are like craft beer. People get drawn in by the names/graphics/exclusivity. Often they are virtually indistinguishable from each other, or downright unpleasant. 

 

I find it annoying how on the other bass forum, most requests for pedal recommendations are met with, "try the Tuba Bazooka Goat's Balls", or whatever other blink-and-you-miss-it snake oil is the flavour of the day, soon to be defunct.

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How to make a "boutique" pedal.

 

1. Find a design from the 60s or 70s and copy it. Make sure that your version uses at least one germanium transistor even if the original pedal didn't have any.

 

2. Make sure that one of the controls and one socket is in a completely ridiculous place. Say they need to be there in order to improve signal cross-talk from the original design.

 

3. Give the pedal a name that only a 13 year old boy will find amusing - ideally some kind of knob joke.

 

4. Give all the controls unintuitive descriptions like "spatter" or "fragrance" and write them on in a barely legible scrawl. Do not put any other markings on the controls, and if you're not using chicken head knobs then have ones without any position markers on them.

 

5. Pedals with three or fewer controls on them should be in huge chunky metal cases, with the controls positioned at random and in an order not consistent with the signal flow. Pedals with lots of controls should be in a case so tiny that it is virtually impossible to adjust one without inadvertently moving at least one other (also see point 2).

 

6. Get a five year old to do the graphics. Ideally every pedal should have a different "graphical design" even though the electronics inside are identical.

 

7. Charge at least £200 for it even though the parts and labour cost to make them is a fraction of that.

 

 

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In the days when I used multiple pedals, my annoyance with my set-up was driven by my overwhelming desire to fiddle with stuff. I was never satisfied with the functionality of my board, which even at the height of my madness, was never more than 8 or 9 stompboxes nailed to a plank. I was frustrated with the lack of uniformity, which meant that every time I did attempt to find the "perfect" combination and signal path, I had to prepare myself for a long and dreary game of techno-Tetris, which I never seemed to win. I love the idea of having a board full of weird and wonderful novelty boxes, but in practice, it was detrimental to my mental health. And my bank balance.

 

I now use a modified Zoom B3* which ticks all the boxes that I need to be ticked. I can tweak it on the fly if I want to. But I've never wanted or needed to. And the fact that I can't shuffle gizmos about on a daily basis is incredibly liberating. Your Mileage May Vary as they say on the internet.

 

Sadly, my DIY patch changing pedal seems to contravene a lot of rules and regulations outlined in this thread. Do I have to pay a fine?

 

20220126_114339.thumb.jpg.2f50a3cd56da28bbadd52e5e4c2b029b.jpg

 

* And a Behringer BDI21. Sorry.

 

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9 hours ago, BigRedX said:

How to make a "boutique" pedal.

 

1. Find a design from the 60s or 70s and copy it. Make sure that your version uses at least one germanium transistor even if the original pedal didn't have any.

 

2. Make sure that one of the controls and one socket is in a completely ridiculous place. Say they need to be there in order to improve signal cross-talk from the original design.

 

3. Give the pedal a name that only a 13 year old boy will find amusing - ideally some kind of knob joke.

 

4. Give all the controls unintuitive descriptions like "spatter" or "fragrance" and write them on in a barely legible scrawl. Do not put any other markings on the controls, and if you're not using chicken head knobs then have ones without any position markers on them.

 

5. Pedals with three or fewer controls on them should be in huge chunky metal cases, with the controls positioned at random and in an order not consistent with the signal flow. Pedals with lots of controls should be in a case so tiny that it is virtually impossible to adjust one without inadvertently moving at least one other (also see point 2).

 

6. Get a five year old to do the graphics. Ideally every pedal should have a different "graphical design" even though the electronics inside are identical.

 

7. Charge at least £200 for it even though the parts and labour cost to make them is a fraction of that.

 

 

But - and this is very important, even if original users in the 60s and 70s didn't do this - no matter that the pedal was put together with the fervent urgency and foolishness of a GCSE Design Tech student - it must be TRUE BYPASS.

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It should also not take batteries, because you're going to plaster it with velcro and use this with a humungous pedalboard right, and batteries are for old guys. Oh wait let's say it for the EnvIroMenT! Actually let's make it need 18v for 'headroom'

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15 minutes ago, ped said:

It should also not take batteries, because you're going to plaster it with velcro and use this with a humungous pedalboard right, and batteries are for old guys. Oh wait let's say it for the EnvIroMenT! Actually let's make it need 18v for 'headroom'

 

Maybe I'm too deep in the hole but all those things seem very reasonable to me.

Edited by bobbass4k
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I forgot...

 

It should also include one additional control which supposedly allows the pedal to sound both like the original version and any other variations on that design that existed during the production runs.

 

In reality this control either only has one useful position (the others all producing a horrible unmusical racket) or the variations are so subtle that no-one can really hear any difference between them.

Edited by BigRedX
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Don't forget to also slightly tweak the circuit each year, but keep the name/design the same. Then enthusiasts can argue for years over how the pre-2018 versions had a warmer sound and go for 2x the price, and how the 2019 versions with serial numbers between 234786 and 765866 should be avoided like the plague.

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