Those 'train wreck' moments

[EBS_freak]

Got a dep percussionist on a gig who'd been recommended to me.

 

Historically he was a bit of a druggie but I'd been told he was clean now.

 

Playing at a wedding gig, he was talking really loudly about his visit to Amsterdam where he'd stumbled upon a case of cocaine in the most prestige case. Apparently had all the various tools and stuff all in this nice presentation case. He stated that if somebody had spent that much time and money on the case, the contents must be the best s**t that he could ever dream of trying.

 

No matter how often I told him shut up, he never did.

 

Funny, he hasn't played with us since.

 

I suspect when he disappeared just before the second set, he'd been partaking in some substance or another with the groomsmen with something in one of the venues toilet cubicles.

[EBS_freak]

That time when the band van was reversed into the father of the brides brand new Maserati... before we'd played.

 

Awkward.

[EBS_freak]

That time I was depping on a gig. It was for a corporate gig at Alton Towers.

 

The bandleader, well... she got the date wrong and we arrived 24 hours early. I couldn't do the next day as I'd already got a gig.

 

At least I was pretty local. The rest of them were travelling to and from London.

Edited January 25, 2022 by EBS_freak

[Dan Dare]

Played a wedding at which everyone - guests, not the band - got absolutely rat faced. Come the end of the evening and we were looking for the best man, who was supposed to pay us. He was nowhere to be found. Someone said they'd seen him in the gents, so off we went to find him. He was lying on the floor, semi conscious and with vomit all down him. We couldn't get any sense out of him, so went through his jacket pockets and found an envelope of money with "band" written on it. All good, it seemed. At that moment, the door opened and in came several of his mates, who decided (unsurprisingly) that we were mugging him. Things got a bit lively, but fortunately, there were five of us and three of them and we were sober. 

Edited January 25, 2022 by Dan Dare

[yorks5stringer]

We had a guitarist who turned up a day early for a gig at a pub and also at another time went to the wrong pub on the right day.

However the best was the dep drummer who on one occasion forgot his snare drum (get-roundable) and on another occasion forgot his drum stool. Needless to say he was a graduate of Leeds College of Music and never stopped telling us how superior he was......

My first instance was 35/40 years ago going to an audition night at a club ( we were on audition too) and the first act on was a guitarist who worked with backing tapes and could not get his guitar in tune to the tapes. It may have been before digital and his machine was playing up with variable speeds meaning he could get get the right pitch wherever he tuned to.

[Boodang]

I was in a band for a while that was like a train wreck in slow motion. A reggae outfit complete with backing singers and brass. Rehearsing in London week after week, we all had high hopes as the people involved were 'connected'! Eventually though, rehearsals took on a pattern that never varied... waiting for everyone to arrive the brass section would neck red stripe, then the rest of the band would start on the weed, this would continue for hours while the singer and band leader would nicpic over arrangements and playing nuances. When it came time for the singer to do his thing he was always too far gone. In 6 months I never heard him sing a note! I still can't believe I lasted that long before moving on. For all I know they're still rehearsing. 

[Lozz196]

1 hour ago, EBS_freak said:

That time when the band van was reversed into the father of the brides brand new Maserati... before we'd played.

 

Awkward.

Ouch!

[JapanAxe]

4 hours ago, Boodang said:

My current method of dealing with this issue... I possess the worlds worst bass, a Jedson tele bass with a 24" scale (!), the only way it can be tuned is A,D,G,C, and intonation is impossible above the 10th fret. I hand them this bass.

I had one of these and I can confirm they are utter Barry White.

[Boodang]

20 minutes ago, JapanAxe said:

I had one of these and I can confirm they are utter Barry White.

Yep, got mine for a bit of a laugh as it's so bonkers. Worth it, as now I have a laugh everytime someone asks to borrow a bass of mine. There's the look of relief when I say of course, then a look of incredulity as I hand them the Jedson instead of the custom bass I was playing!

Edited January 25, 2022 by Boodang

[musicbassman]

A repeat of an old post of mine - but worth it, I think. My toes still curl when I remember this.

 

[Skin Lewis]

Back in 1981, when I was doing backline for a new wave band, we were in a small cinema gig in Verona, Italy. Us four crew had done the set up, all ready for the band to arrive for soundcheck. At this point, two things happened:

Firstly, the band, who had been arguing for weeks, finally descended into all out violence and started a serious fight in the hotel foyer. Blood was spilled, police were involved, arrests were made.

Simultaneously, 2 miles away a fire started behind the stage at the venue, which very rapidly spread, and the four of us crew just got out of the building before it was engulfed in flames and burnt to the ground, including PA, backline, lights, the lot. The next day I shovelled the charred remains of the gear into the ten tonner and headed home. At Dover, UK customs wanted to check the gear against the carnet, which was interesting to say the least.

[WinterMute]

Late 80's I took up as bass player/BV/programmer with a brother and sister who'd had some success in the late 70's and with various projects in the 80's and they knew plenty of names, they had some decent original songs and we found a good young drummer and set too arranging and learning the set, recording some demos, looking to gig. It became apparent that the gig side of things would just never happen, constant reviews of tiny details, endless rehearsals and demands for better gear, more effort...

 

Don't get me wrong, it was working musically, but the siblings couldn't seem to agree on anything and bickered a lot, we learned to ignore them but it eventually got to that inevitable moment when they came to blows, a proper punch up in the street, over who was going to sit in the front seat of the van...

 

The drummer and I sat and watched a years worth of hard work disappear in about 5 minutes.

 

I recorded an album for a later incarnation of that band 15 years later, no sister this time, same drama, his bands always fall apart and it's never his fault.

 

[EBS_freak]

I’ve just remembered a really good one… I’ll type it out tomorrow!

[SPHDS]

I was in a previous band with our current guitarist and we were playing his wife's 50th.......

The Singer (with a history drug and alcohol problems) turned up and decided to get absolutely spifflicated on the Punch made for the party.... to the point he could barely stand up, spends most the evening stumbling around swearing and generally being a complete twonk...... (the other's guitarist's daughters (and several other guests left at this point......))

Come the actual gig he gets about two songs in before smashes his guitar on the floor, rips the Floyd Rose bridge off, stamps on the guitar then wanders off and disappears, we ended up getting a friend up to finish singing the set......

Needless to say he didn't last long after that......!

(I also managed to fall in the pond, but that's another story......)

[LukeFRC]

I played a wedding once, the church bit not the party but.

there was a hastily put together trying quartet - decent cello player, very very good violin player playing viola, rusty violin player who played by knowing where to fret and a ok violin player who played by ear.

Bride enters to adagio for strings or something - sounds great. Bride gets to front of church … song keeps going for ages! 
anyway wedding, church type song happen with our band… 

bride and groom go to leave to what was supposed to be (randomly) a non vocal version of verve’s bittersweet symphony- odd choice but had sounded amazing in rehearsal.

 

string instruments- a church that’s got a lot hotter since the opening… everything’s out of tune… one violin player puts her fingers in the right places even though she’s no longer in tune, the other guy corrects to play the notes I tune and the viola player forgets she’s playing the viola and starts reading the violin line. 
nightmare.

It didn’t sound much better when bass drums and guitars launched in.

 

 

 

Marriage didn’t last either 

[Doctor J]

All this guitar smashing reminds me of my numb-handed friend, though in a different band. He had been having trouble with the signal cutting out and, for this gig, had bought a new lead. During the gig, however, the problem came back, intermittently at first but with the guitar eventually going entirely silent. Realising the problem was the guitar all along, not the lead, he lost his temper and threw the guitar hard onto the stage a few times, then fired it into the audience. He must have suddenly copped-on to what he was doing because he then dived in after the guitar to try to get it back 😂

[chris_b]

6 hours ago, Trueno said:

We drove halfway across the country for a fairly standard club gig. We opened the back doors of the van and the BL’s cat shot out and promptly disappeared into the nearby industrial estate.

 

I've had that. The cat must have been asleep inside my Mesa Boogie 118 when I loaded up the car. At the gig I put the cab down on the pavement and was surprised to see our tabby fly out and freeze!!

 

I managed to get a hold on a back leg and throw it into the car. No gentleness or niceties, we were on a very busy road and by that time the bloody thing had scratched my arm and hand to pieces!

[Dom in Dorset]

Many years ago I was playing in a covers band. We had a gig at a caravan park.

During the gig someone came up and asked the singer if we could dedicate a song to his father as it was his birthday.

The singer duly obliges "this next one is for Joe Bloggs, happy birthday"

We launch into the next song on the list.

Half way through our rendition of knocking on heaven's door we notice a guy in a wheelchair being pushed up the front wearing a large home made badge with the number 80 on it.

[Muzz]

I know it's fairly early in the thread, but I think we have a winner already:

 

' The resulting gig was a train wreck saved only by the didgeridoo solo at the end.'

 

😁

[EBS_freak]

OK, so now I'm back at a keyboard...

 

I was depping for a pub band - nice bunch of folk that alway seemed to go down well and get some great gigs. Anyway, I get the call and I ask for the details. 30th birthday party. I duly get the name of the pub - The Red Lion - (Main Rd Brereton), Rugeley way. No problem. Get the set list, business as usual, I'll meet them there.

 

As it happens, I got there pretty early and parked up. I remember parking up next to a battered Astra and as I went to scope out the venue, I remember a rather large black police lady leaving the venue and getting into said battered Astra and then driving off at speed. Nothing too untoward - but I did think the car was either some cover or the budget in Staffordshire constabulary needed a cash injection to improve their cars.

 

Anyway, I went into the venue, which seemed quite busy. A guy came up to me, quite flustered and asked who I was. I introduced myself and said I'm with the band. It was a this point I realised that something didn't feel quite right. Everybody was dressed in suits and me, being in a jeans and polo shirt, suddenly felt very undressed. Turns out that it was a wake. << Oh. Awkward. >> I apologised as I had clearly got the wrong venue and made a quick sharp exit.

 

I went back to my car and got on the phone to the rest of the band who were still on their way. I explained that we needed to figure out what had gone wrong as I didn't want any rest of the band to go in and make the same mistake as I. Anyway, the band leader did some phoning around and got to speak to the client. Apparently, the band leader had just taken the "Red Lion" in Rugeley and said he knew where it was. Anyway, turns out that there is another "Red Lion"... that being one at Longdon Green, Rugeley. Still being the closest, I said I would meet them there.

 

So off I drive to the Red Lion 2 and duly park up in the carpark... next to a familiar Astra.

 

I get out car... and so does the policewoman.

 

She comes over to me and asks me - did I just see you at the other Red Lion? I confirmed that yes, I had been there. She then asks me if she knows if this is the venue for a birthday party? I confirmed that it was - to the best of my knowledge. At this point, the penny begins to drop. She then goes, "Oh my God, you would not believe... I just stormed into the other pub, asking for the birthday boy before I pulled out my t1ts..."

 

"Oh... so you're a.... right...."

 

We both started feeling a bit uncomfortable before laughing. "Ah well, I'm sure the old boy would have appreciated your stripping if he was there to see it".

 

Anyway, the band arrived, got inside, setup and started to play the first set. I had spoken to said police lady that a good opportunity would be to let us play for twenty minutes before coming in to investigate a noise complaint.

 

Needless to say, it was a memorable night. Now, I'm no prude - but I learned quite a lot that night. This wasn't stripping per se... it went far, far, far beyond that. Lets just say the birthday boy got very lucky... in public.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Edited January 31, 2022 by EBS_freak

[EBS_freak]

Anybody want any more?

 

I've just remembered a couple more - "Gap Year", "Trying to avoid getting arrested in Oxford", "Nice day for a red wedding".... "Inappropriate TV stings"

Edited January 26, 2022 by EBS_freak

[LeftyJ]

No musical train wreck as such, but it could have ended up as one: we played a youth center once, but their guy who had organised the gig had taken time off for a couple of weeks because he was moving house. And he had neglected to hand over his tasks to another coworker or volunteer... Like renting a PA system, and booking a sound guy. There was none. Just an empty stage. Our keyboardist's father in law had a small PA rental company, we were able to get him to deliver a small PA set capable of amplifying the vocals and keys. Naturally we billed the venue for this. The drums went unmicced, and we ran guitars and bass just through our own amps. It turned out the electrical system of the venue was way underpowered, and operating on the verge of crapping out... We feared for the safety of our equipment, but didn't want to call it off for all the people and the other band or the evening who braved the worst snow we had seen in years to come see us.

 

The other band had travelled all the way cross-country through terrible snow, and it turned out they didn't even get paid for the gig. What's worse was the venue didn't even offer them dinner. They just got everyone French fries and snacks, but not the other band. We decided to pay for their food from our pay, because it didn't sit right with us. 

 

It was probably the gig we hated the most of all the ones we played, but we still made the best of it and tried not to let it show.

[TimR]

Far too many.

 

The one that sticks in my mind was a function band doing a 50 birthday party/wedding anniversary. Big posh meal, black tie and the band had been given a table with wine and food.

 

The first dance was Moon River, which had been the couples first dance. A waltz in 3/4. Drummer had really struggled to learn with 3/4 as he was from a rock background (don't ask).

 

After he and the guitarist had drunk plenty of wine. We took to the stage and he counted in 1,2,3,4 and launched into a straight 4, which somehow the guitarist managed to stay in time with. 

 

The singer struggled to get any lyrics to fit in any bar. How the couple managed to dance I'll never know. 

 

 

Later on we played a song that had a bass intro, there had been various emails rattling around in the week where the singer had asked if we could play it in a different key as she was really struggling. No firm consensus was made. Needless to say I came in in the key that we'd been playing it in for about 3 years, slowly joined by the keys player, prodding around looking for the right notes and then the guitarist (still under the effects of wine came crashing in on some random key. Note to others, play as rehearsed and don't make untested changes via a long email trail, that not everyone may have read...

 

We finished the night on New York New York. At about 180bpm... 😆

[Boodang]

2 hours ago, EBS_freak said:

Anybody want any more?

 

I've just remembered a couple more - "Gap Year", "Trying to avoid getting arrested in Oxford", "Nice day for a red wedding".... "Inappropriate TV stings"

Always want more stories!

[mowf]

Not sure it qualifies as a "train wreck" as such, but we played a wedding gig on the day the Queen Mother passed away. The happy couple (now divorced) had asked a friend of mine to put a band together, and she in turn asked me. The easiest thing to do was do the gig with my own covers band rather than put something together from scratch, so they ended up getting us for free. I was feeling a little hard done by because of this and perhaps not in the most charitable frame of mind during the gig when I said, "This next one's dedicated to the Queen Mother. It's an instrumental number called All Wrapped Up".

 

Two things happened. One, I could literally see the shockwave of disapproval go through the (older members of the) audience from front to back and Two, I turned around at the end of the song and the drummer was still laughing.