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Is it time to quit the band, or not?


Storky

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I play upright bass in an acoustic band. It was formed by the guitarist and I was 2nd one in. Guitarist is very limited so I recruited fiddle player to add some lead. We also have drums/percussion. Female vocals have recently changed; guitarist chose her without consultation with rest of band and in my opinion she is also limited. Fiddle player loves it and is getting loads of gigs, guitarist loves that fiddle has improved the sound and is getting gigs. They are now getting gigs when I’m not available (I’ve missed last three) and it seems they are quite happy to go ahead without me. Guitarist has admitted she can’t hear the bass anyway, so I don’t think I’m much valued. So question is should I stay, or should I go? Waste of time, or worth sticking with it?

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Thanks everyone for the comments. The guitarist and the singer can’t hear the bass, or at least their ears are not developed enough to know that what they’re hearing is bass. The drummer and fiddle player hear it fine. It wouldn’t occur to them that bass players had their own forum, so not much chance of them seeing this.

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3 hours ago, Storky said:

I play upright bass in an acoustic band. It was formed by the guitarist and I was 2nd one in. Guitarist is very limited so I recruited fiddle player to add some lead. We also have drums/percussion. Female vocals have recently changed; guitarist chose her without consultation with rest of band and in my opinion she is also limited. Fiddle player loves it and is getting loads of gigs, guitarist loves that fiddle has improved the sound and is getting gigs. They are now getting gigs when I’m not available (I’ve missed last three) and it seems they are quite happy to go ahead without me. Guitarist has admitted she can’t hear the bass anyway, so I don’t think I’m much valued. So question is should I stay, or should I go? Waste of time, or worth sticking with it?

If you were not available for said gigs its hardly their fault. Acoustic bands seem to get away with almost anyone missing, except vocals. If you enjoy the music then stay, if you don't enjoy the music, leave. It's all about the music for me, as long as the other band mates are not complete idiots.

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5 minutes ago, mikel said:

If you were not available for said gigs its hardly their fault. Acoustic bands seem to get away with almost anyone missing, except vocals. If you enjoy the music then stay, if you don't enjoy the music, leave. It's all about the music for me, as long as the other band mates are not complete idiots.

Yes, we had a couple of gigs offered. The last one was whilst I was out of the country for just 6 days on a holiday booked months ago. I asked if they would be prepared to ask for an alternative date; the answer I got was that they didn’t want to miss the opportunity so they went ahead

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6 minutes ago, zero9 said:

Sounds to me like there is a mutual ‘not fussed it’s not about the bass’ in the band. Wouldn’t work for me...

I think the guitarist feels that way; drums and vocals go a along with it and fiddle just wants something to solo over. All a bit unsatisfactory. The thing that makes me hesitate is the band is a bit different to other bands and I like the material, but it’s nice to feel that you make a worthwhile contribution and I don’t. I think it’s similar for drummer, but she doesn’t seem bothered, so should I?

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2 hours ago, chris_b said:

What can't the band hear you? If they can't hear you, why should they care whether you are there or not!!

 

Sort your gear out and make the bass integral to the sound of the band.

 

Absolutely this ^.

 

If you're the entire rhythm section and they can't hear you, then something is seriously wrong with the way the band sets up at gigs. 

 

I'm not convinced that you can blame their defective hearing or lack of musical experience! 😂

 

If I were you (and of course I'm not) I'd be suggesting the band goes out for a drink and a chat.

 

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1 hour ago, Storky said:

Yes, we had a couple of gigs offered. The last one was whilst I was out of the country for just 6 days on a holiday booked months ago. I asked if they would be prepared to ask for an alternative date; the answer I got was that they didn’t want to miss the opportunity so they went ahead

 

I've been in a couple of bands where they could gig without me, although they preferred not to. I preferred them to take the gigs if they could rather than miss out on them, although I think they would have asked about alternative dates (something you can't really do for weddings, birthdays, or saints' days, of course).

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26 minutes ago, Happy Jack said:

 

Absolutely this ^.

 

If you're the entire rhythm section and they can't hear you, then something is seriously wrong with the way the band sets up at gigs. 

 

I'm not convinced that you can blame their defective hearing or lack of musical experience! 😂

 

If I were you (and of course I'm not) I'd be suggesting the band goes out for a drink and a chat.

 

A drink and a chat is always a good idea; although I’m not the entire rhythm section as we have a drummer and a rhythm guitarist as well! And to be fair, it’s only 2 of the 4 others that don’t hear the bass, the trouble is the guitarist thinks as she can’t hear it, the same must hold true for the rest.

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1 hour ago, Storky said:

Yes, we had a couple of gigs offered. The last one was whilst I was out of the country for just 6 days on a holiday booked months ago. I asked if they would be prepared to ask for an alternative date; the answer I got was that they didn’t want to miss the opportunity so they went ahead

 

If everyone bar one can do a date, it has to be greatest good for the greatest number. The one who can't make it isn't really in a position to expect the others to miss out. 

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Next rehearsal: let them listen to a few songs without bass 
they are easily found on YouTube (keywords : name of the song + bass backing track, …)

if they like the songs: then they are deaf. Or worse : they have no groove…in either case : quit 🙂 

Edited by chris7273
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1 minute ago, chris7273 said:

Next rehearsal: let them listen to a few songs without bass 
they are easily found on YouTube (keywords : bass backing track, baseless…)

if they like the songs: then they are deaf. Or worse : they have no groove…in either case : quit 🙂 

That’s a great idea, although I think I know the outcome - I’d bet no one would notice there is no bass. ☹️ It’s a sad state of affairs that they place so little stock on the bass. Maybe I should look out a rockabilly band or something where bass is essential. 🤔

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