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Things that you've learned from gigging... that you feel should be passed on


EBS_freak

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15 minutes ago, Boodang said:

Do you bring a dustpan and brush along with you to gigs and present them to your female colleagues? Maybe you could gift wrap them.

That really is uncanny. I did indeed present her with the dustpan and brush from the boot of my car (kept for sweeping out the detritus from the dog when Ive been shooting) and she used it to sweep up the bits that had broken off her MX5..

 

I didn't gift wrap it. While I am a fan of preparedness, I never foresaw the need to carry wrapping paper, tape and scissors just to satisfy you.

 

You can feign as much indignation as you like. It has actually happened, and to the one female member of my band.  When the topic comes up it's usually her the first to take the rise out of herself.  

 

 

Edited by Bassfinger
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4 minutes ago, Bassfinger said:

 

That really is uncanny. I did indeed present her with the dustpan and brush from the boot of my car (kept for sweeping out the detritus from the dog when Ive been shooting) and she used it to sweep up the bits that had broken off her MX5..

 

I didn't gift wrap it. While I am a fan of preparedness, I never foresaw the need to carry wrapping paper, tape and scissors just to satisfy you.

 

You can feign as much indignation as you like. It has actually happened, and to the one female member of my band.  When the topic comes up it's usually her the first to take the rise out of herself.  

 

 

I would not be brave enough to do this...I don't think I could drive home with these items placed where she would put them...:)

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2 hours ago, PaulWarning said:

use different coloured cables or coloured tape on both ends of the cable (different colours for different cables) so it's clear which cables at the PA are connected to which microphones etc

I tried to get this done in an old band I was in, the guitarist/PA guy wouldn`t do it, so stressed enormously at each gig as a result. We just left him with the stress.

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27 minutes ago, Bassfinger said:

 

That really is uncanny. I did indeed present her with the dustpan and brush from the boot of my car (kept for sweeping out the detritus from the dog when Ive been shooting) and she used it to sweep up the bits that had broken off her MX5..

 

I didn't gift wrap it. While I am a fan of preparedness, I never foresaw the need to carry wrapping paper, tape and scissors just to satisfy you.

 

You can feign as much indignation as you like. It has actually happened, and to the one female member of my band.  When the topic comes up it's usually her the first to take the rise out of herself.  

 

 

 

She drives a MX5 - now that is a stereotype girl's car 🙂 

 

Everyone in a band has to get used to a certain amount of banter. It seems that the girl in your band handles it perfectly well. IME the real toxic 'banter' happens because of rivalries, insecurities and jealousies between members of the same sex (usually male, but could just as well be girls). 

 

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I always remember the lovely Allan's@niceguyhomer advice he once offered up (and I paraphrase):
 

When turning in for the night after a post-gig wind down at home, always remember to move the TV off the Babestation channel so the first person who turns the TV on in the morning doesn't rumble you 😂

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6 hours ago, Bassfinger said:

You can feign as much indignation as you like. 

Feign?! Did you really think a sexist joke wouldn't offend someone? Or is it something you just don't think about... it's just banter after all, not antiquated stereotyping. 

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6 hours ago, peteb said:

Everyone in a band has to get used to a certain amount of banter.

Really? Glad to say that the bands I've been in don't suffer from banter. We don't feel the need to take the p*ss out of each because we're, what's the word... adults.

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31 minutes ago, Boodang said:

Really? Glad to say that the bands I've been in don't suffer from banter. We don't feel the need to take the p*ss out of each because we're, what's the word... adults.

 

The thing is that I’ve been gigging for more than 40 years and played in a lot of bands, most of which have been pretty good and quite often gigged all over the country (I’m currently in a tribute band that is based all over Yorkshire & Lancashire and plays all over the place). In every band there has been an element of taking the p*ss out of each. It can be quite brutal occasionally, but is generally better natured and not as bad as the ‘banter’ that you get in football teams and on building sites, etc.

 

If you can’t hack it then it doesn’t matter how good a player you might potentially be, you are not going to last in a working band.

 

Edited by peteb
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44 minutes ago, Boodang said:

Really? Glad to say that the bands I've been in don't suffer from banter. We don't feel the need to take the p*ss out of each because we're, what's the word... adults.

 

banter was the word, some of things I’ve seen and done would be classed as horrifying now but back then it was good times, different times but looked back on fondly 

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banter is a tricky one, it's nasty if it's too near the truth and the people it's aimed at are lacking in self confidence, it's a thin dividing line between a bit of a pi55 take and bullying, getting a feel for when people are getting upset is important. Something that is difficult when written down in a post.

I walked in the pub tonight where I'd done open mic on Friday, a couple of the blokes said "hope you've not bought your guitar again" but it was said in such a way that I took it as a compliment, they'd actually enjoyed my little set, if I'd been shite they wouldn't have said it, hopefully I read it right 😂

Edited by PaulWarning
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15 hours ago, peteb said:

 

She drives a MX5 - now that is a stereotype girl's car 🙂 

 

Everyone in a band has to get used to a certain amount of banter. It seems that the girl in your band handles it perfectly well. IME the real toxic 'banter' happens because of rivalries, insecurities and jealousies between members of the same sex (usually male, but could just as well be girls). 

 

I've owned two, but I am definitely not a girl...

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8 hours ago, Woodinblack said:

 

Mine was the newest car I had ever had and was pretty immaculate!

Drummer drove into the back of my old Astra estate. Had to claim on the insurance, and it was written off as the parts needed for the tailgate/ bumper etc came to more than the value of the car. They let me keep it, so sourced the parts from a breakers yard for around £150 IIRC ( was in the 90’s) and got it sorted for less than £300 in total. Nice man from the insurance company valued the car at £800 so for once I was ahead on the deal. About the only favour that particular drummer ever did for me too.

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18 hours ago, Bassfinger said:

 

That really is uncanny. I did indeed present her with the dustpan and brush from the boot of my car (kept for sweeping out the detritus from the dog when Ive been shooting) and she used it to sweep up the bits that had broken off her MX5..

 

I didn't gift wrap it. While I am a fan of preparedness, I never foresaw the need to carry wrapping paper, tape and scissors just to satisfy you.

 

You can feign as much indignation as you like. It has actually happened, and to the one female member of my band.  When the topic comes up it's usually her the first to take the rise out of herself.  

 

 

You shoot your dog????? Then heartlessly sweep the bits up? I am contacting the RSPCA and the Police.

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16 hours ago, Boodang said:

It's just banter after all, not antiquated stereotyping. 

I never once used the word banter. You have, I have not.

 

My comment was in relation to a real incident where our female co-vocalist drove into my car. 

 

It was not my intention to offend anyone so deleted it. And still you moan.

 

Get over it.

 

 

Edited by Bassfinger
Poor grammer and spelinng
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16 hours ago, Boodang said:

Feign?! Did you really think a sexist joke wouldn't offend someone? Or is it something you just don't think about... it's just banter after all, not antiquated stereotyping. 

 

4 minutes ago, Bassfinger said:

I never once used the word banter. You have, I have not.

 

My comment was in relation to a real incident where our female co-vocalist drive into my car. Get over it.

 

 

There's only one way to resolve this.

 

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Things that you've learned from gigging... that you feel should be passed on.

 

In addition to the practical replies above - I have the following 'aide- memoire' handwritten at the top of my set list.

 

 

There Is An Audience Out There.

These People Have Made The Effort To Come And See/Hear You.  Be Conscious Of Them And Treat Them With Respect.

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24 minutes ago, Bassfinger said:

I never once used the word banter. You have, I have not.

 

My comment was in relation to a real incident where our female co-vocalist drove into my car. 

 

It was not my intention to offend anyone so deleted it. And still you moan.

 

Get over it.

 

 

Didn't realised you had deleted the comment and also, as I said, it made more sense when in context, of which there wasn't any originally. 

Also, this dragged on way more than intended, so definitely over it... apologies. And apologies to @MacDaddyfor no fight!

Interesting that the thread that I started so as not to hijack this one got shut down so quickly... well not that surprising I guess!

Phew... I need to sit down and get some zen time with my new bass.

 

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