Things that you've learned from gigging... that you feel should be passed on

[odysseus]

I keep a viagra tab in the wallet with the condom these days. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Yep, that condom has been with me as long as I've been gigging.. 

[tauzero]

1 hour ago, oldslapper said:

Other than back line and basses, I always pack the following:
 

A torch

A towel

 

I read that as "trowel" and thought "shouldn't you have bogroll too then?"

[garyt]

Don’t fart on stage.  Yes, it may be funny gassing your band mates, but the risk of a follow through is not worth it … especially if you’ve just started a 1-hour set! 

[Clarky]

Don't expect anyone who has said they are "definitely" coming to watch your gig to actually do so. At least you may be pleasantly surprised

[Frank Blank]

31 minutes ago, Clarky said:

Don't expect anyone who has said they are "definitely" coming to watch your gig to actually do so. At least you may be pleasantly surprised

This is very true. I am definitely attending a gig tonight despite being in bed with the TV on.

[chris_b]

If you are the last one to arrive don't be surprised if the rest of the band has only left you 1 square foot of stage to set up in!

 

Once I was late getting to a gig and discovered the guys had not left me any room to set up. I got blank looks when I asked where I was supposed to put my gear!  Then angry grumbling when I said I was going home if no one budged up and gave me room. What a bunch of Richards!

[paul_c2]

On 09/03/2022 at 18:14, chris_b said:

Always check your route.

 

I once arrived for a gig at Blues At The Farm, Billericay when I should have been pulling up at Blues On The Farm, Chichester!!

 

So I was 100 miles and 3 counties away from where I needed to be!! I was 3 hours late for the gig. Fortunately it was a festival and the other bands agreed to change the running order!

 

Don't get Bude and (Isle of) Bute mixed up, if you're planning travel nationally in the UK. 

[joeystrange]

Don’t be precious about the sound on stage. If it seems like the stage sound won’t be great then as long as you can hear what you want to hear that’s enough. Don’t spend hours in sound check chasing the unattainable. It will probably sound different when you play anyway.

 

Don’t concern yourself with FOH sound. 99% of people won’t care and won’t notice that special pedal you used on the middle 8 of the fourth song. You won’t hear the FOH sound anyway. Unless you’re doing your own sound.

 

ALWAYS change your clothes before playing. Even if it’s just a different t-shirt. At least look like you’re making an effort and haven’t just walked in off the street.

 

Take spare shoes. If it’s hammering down during load-in you don’t want wet feet al night.

 

Make sure all of your gear is working before the gig.

 

Always stretch before you play. Hands are most important but arms, legs, neck, anything else is also important if you do anything more than stand still. Especially as you get older.

[tauzero]

14 hours ago, chris_b said:

If you are the last one to arrive don't be surprised if the rest of the band has only left you 1 square foot of stage to set up in!

 

If you are the first to arrive and set up your gear, and, of course, the PA, don't expect to still have your bit of stage once the others arrive.

[Beedster]

My top ten from 40 years of gigging

1. Don't wander too close to the edge of the stage/never wear sunglasses on small stages with big drops
2. If the crowd suddenly start pointing at you hair it doesn't mean it suddenly looks cool, it means the keyboard player flicked a cigarette across the stage that ignited the Elnett holding your 80's Alarm-style mohawk in place and your hair is on fire
3. Don't let your keyboard player smoke on stage. In fact generally don't have a keyboard player in your band. 
4. Know how long your cables are. Try not to go farther away than that distance from your amp, especially if you have put the 90-degree jack in amp-end not bass-end
5. Don't play DB at jazz clubs, every member of the audience knows more about DB than you do and most can play better than you can
6. Careful what you say about the sound guy near a microphone
7. Careful what you say about the audience near a microphone
8. If you need to fart and it might waft into the audience, wander over to the guitarist, wander back and then 30 seconds later hit him with a really dirty look
9. Never let the singer drink more than two pints before the gig, especially if it's his first gig with you, especially if he shotguns them
10. Never agree to play a wedding gig because you're the only band the bride and groom could agree on

[theplumber]

17 hours ago, chris_b said:

If you are the last one to arrive don't be surprised if the rest of the band has only left you 1 square foot of stage to set up in!

 

Once I was late getting to a gig and discovered the guys had not left me any room to set up. I got blank looks when I asked where I was supposed to put my gear!  Then angry grumbling when I said I was going home if no one budged up and gave me room. What a bunch of Richards!

I played with a band years back who did this. It was due to the massive effects box's that both guitarists had.One also had an effects unit that made the guitar sound like an organ.In fact the singer was an organ!! I spent most of the night standing in the corner looking at the back of a PA speaker on a stand....Fun times indeed!

[AScheck9]

Don't be a hero. Get someone else to give you a hand with the yamaha DSX18s or Ampeg 810s. They're heavy as hell, and you don't need the injuries. 

 

 

When you help the drummer by bringing in his drums and stupidly heavy hardware bag, don't put them EXACTLY where he wants to set up. He gets grumpy that he'll have to move them a metre to the left, regardless that you just lugged the lot out of his van for him. 

 

 

Stop eyeing up the girl in the audience that's clearly dating The Incredible Bulk stood behind her. 

 

 

Did you turn your mute off? It's worth checking before you start playing!

 

 

This one may not be for all: play hot. And by that I mean, have your amp turned up loud so that the volume is coming from the amp and not you having to pluck heavily ALL gig. If you're finding you have to pluck hard to be heard, you're going to get some tired fingers, quick. 

 

 

In ear monitors get plugged in BEFORE you put your guitar strap over your head. This way, when you change guitar quickly, you don't vacuum-suck your ear canal and almost slice your lobes off. 

 

 

Don't use untested gear on a gig. 

[MichaelDean]

If you're using them, test the level of any pedals/patches during soundcheck. Neither you, the rest of the band or the sound guy want the surprise enormous synth! Well, maybe you do, but no-one else does!

 

Plus you may need to tweak the effect slightly to fit the room. It's not just amps that suffer from a bad sounding room or a boomy stage. 

 

On tour, need to pay for parking and can't rely on apps? Get a band change kitty together. Don't be the only sucker that cares and then get a ticket when you can't get enough together because everyone else is asleep and you're uncertain of the availability of a cash point/somewhere to get change. 

 

If you're on tour and driving an unfamiliar vehicle, make sure you know what type of fuel to put in it. A drummer once put petrol in my diesel car while I was driving the van that he couldn't drive because he didn't bring both parts of his driving licence to the rental place. Same tour as the parking issue 🤬

 

I may be a little bitter about a couple of things!

[Bunion]

Drink more beer, you sound better and don’t care so much when you hit a bum note 

[Guest gazzatriumph]

On 18/03/2022 at 13:48, tauzero said:

Help other band members with their gear.

 

Make sure you're not always the first to the gig, otherwise you'll be forever helping other band members with their gear.

Our guitarist has perfected that technique 

[Woodinblack]

On 18/03/2022 at 13:48, tauzero said:

Make sure you're not always the first to the gig, otherwise you'll be forever helping other band members with their gear.

 

Not true, our guitarist normally turns up when everyone else does, but he successfully manages to provide no help with any gear. He just sits in the way.

[Dr.Dave]

Use a mic stand drinks holder ( drum accessory ) because if you don't I guarantee it'll go on top of your amp at some point.

 

If you make a mistake , don't react. Folk will think it was deliberate , so do it again in the next verse to make sure !

 

Take no notice of praise from punters. If you do you'll take notice of criticism too. They are nought but ants designed to dance to your tune. You are the creator - they the lowly consumer - entertain them for your own amusement then disregard them.

 

If you've run a 20ft cable , the 12 ft cable in your bag is not a spare.

 

Find an exit sign or clock or something on the far wall. Perform to it like it's a person. Every one in the audience will think they're getting a low level of eye contact but none will find it threatening - particularly the pond dwelling worthy with more kids than teeth that'll otherwise accuse you of staring at his  creature's thre'pennies.

 

Always carry a chip fork.

Edited April 14, 2022 by Dr.Dave

[skidder652003]

20 hours ago, Woodinblack said:

 

Not true, our guitarist normally turns up when everyone else does, but he successfully manages to provide no help with any gear. He just sits in the way.

ours holds a coiled lead in his hand, looks left and right and a bit confused them walks away back to his rig.

[ubit]

21 minutes ago, Dr.Dave said:

If you make a mistake , don't react. Folk will think it was deliberate

 

This is so true. I was the singer in our band so had to deal with playing bass and vocals. On occasion I would be known to make a mistake, hard to believe I know but it did happen now and again. Our guitarist used to glare at me and shake his head. It used to drive me up the wall because I knew that 99% of the audience hadn't even noticed until he did that. He was a hypocrite anyway because he was guilty of Les Dawsonesque playing sometimes and I used to cringe but wouldn't react. Drunk punters don't care unless the song falls to bits, which never happened. Under all circumstances the show must go on.

 

Edited April 14, 2022 by ubit

[PaulWarning]

3 hours ago, ubit said:

 

 Drunk punters don't care unless the song falls to bits, which never happened. Under all circumstances the show must go on.

 

some punters actually find the mistakes amusing, as long as it doesn't happen too often, how may of us have completely messed up the start of a song and had to start again to a huge roar from the crowd and than cheering at the end because we got it right?

[ubit]

I had an occasion once where we started with a song we had been playing for years and I knew back to front. I completely forgot how it went. Couldn't remember the notes, the melody, nothing. Total blank. I quickly said do something else and off we went.

The next gig the same thing happened and the next after that. I had to sit down and re learn the song as I had some kind of memory block about a song we had been playing for years. I don't know if it was subconsciously happening after the first time but it was a strange indeed.

[skankdelvar]

8 hours ago, ubit said:

Under all circumstances the show must go on.

 

One time I was playing in a meat and veg covers band. The drummer hated Folsom Prison Blues with a passion so one night we said 'OK, we won't play it tonight', We all (or so I thought) scribbled it off our set lists.

 

Second set, front man says 'Old Nat King Cole song, Route 66 ', we all boot off and the drummer's forgotten and he's playing his two-step country drum part for Folsom Prison Blues.

 

 We just kept going and played the whole of Route 66 like that. No one in the audience seemed to notice and it actually worked quite well, in an odd sort of way.
 

Edited April 14, 2022 by skankdelvar
clarification

[Stub Mandrel]

On 09/03/2022 at 12:21, LeftyJ said:

 

And make sure you know your titles 

I was in a band that wrote its own original music, but until the songs had a lyric and an actual title, we would number them. All good, until the singer made the setlists and only put titles on it. I was completely lost, after having worked on these songs for such a long time and only ever using the number to refer to them. I've since learned all titles by heart but we also kept putting both the number and the title on the list.

 

Still, I'm sure there must also have been some fans who have been extremely puzzled when they took home a handwritten setlist that only said 17 - 24 - 21 - 5 - 23 in sharpie 

 

That is true mathcore.

[Stub Mandrel]

Make sure your frontman never talks you down, but instead tells everyone what a great time they are having.

[Geek99]

On 13/04/2022 at 12:28, Woodinblack said:

 

Not true, our guitarist normally turns up when everyone else does, but he successfully manages to provide no help with any gear. He just sits in the way.

Just kill him. No court in the land will convict you