Things That Get My Capra Hircus

[Jason Karloff]

( So Capra is latin for goat. That explains Capricorn. Everyday I become less of a brainless Womble......this is good)

 

Anyway , I just wanted to release the things that annoy me in the World of bassdom over the last 38 years back into the wild.

 

I don't expect anyone to agree with any of it and my opinion has no more worth than anyone else's. I'm just lancing the boil so to speak.

It's not even worth commenting on really. Just me wiping myself down.

 

So in no particular order:

 

1: Fender's Sunburst.

 

Some would use the words "classic" or "vintage" or "traditional". Personally I would go for "staid", "brown" and "dull".

I want to love looking at you. I don't want to think of my grandmothers living room circa 1925.

I have seen the Sun. Not at close quarters I grant you, but it's not this. It really isn't.

 

which leads me on to

 

2. Fender Multi Stringed Instruments.

Stick with the four string thing. You are good at it.

 

3. People calling pick ups "pups".

It sounds ugly and stupid. You don't sound like you have more familiarity than the average person does with a pick up. You just come across as someone who calls his mate Gary "Gazza" and his friend Wayne "Wazza".

Oh and Chocolate is "Choccy".

Come on. Do better.

 

4.  99% of all top end basses for sale in Mainland Europe.

Natural finish? Oh yes. Wood. Wood and more wood in your face. More wood than Sherwood forest. It's ok to deploy paint over the top. 

I will trust that which lies beneath is not an Ikea Billy Bookcase.

Which leads me on to:

 

5. Wood Pickups.

I'm all for innovation. Pushing the envelope. Rah-Rah-Rah and all. But no.

My bass is made of predominately wood. I don't need these visual reminders.

 

and most controversial of all

 

6. Fret Dots

 

I had been playing for 35 years when I suddenly had a moment of epiphany. All the instruments I have been drooling over for all this time have either a clean fretless neck, or inlays.

Wow. Like Rod Stewart suddenly realising yesterday that he likes blonde haired women.

Why did it take so long for the penny to drop?

I think it stems from I don't like being told what to do and fret dots say "hey put your fingers here!"

Screw you. I will put my fingers where I want.

 

 

 

I feel better now. Try it.

 

 

 

 

 

[dclaassen]

Nice list…

1. respectfully disagree….A 1960’s vintage sunburst makes my heart flutter.
 

2 yup

 

3. Yup

 

4. Don’t want a bass that looks like a 60’s single guy’s coffee table. Big solid slab of ash or maple….yes please!

 

5. yup…dumbest thing since my biggest pet peeve…tba

 

6. Any kind of marker, or none, is fine with me…got a handmade bass with dots.

 

my own #1…(let’s call it #7)…”distressed” or “road worn” finishes. Any battle scars on a bass should be EARNED….ex. See that gouge…that’s where I knocked the singer’s teeth out….(no singers were hurt in the making of this post) You want a player’s bass…play it. 

Edited March 27, 2022 by dclaassen

[fleabag]

33 minutes ago, Jason Karloff said:

I feel better now. Try it.

 

 

No. Too dull.

[Nail Soup]

2 hours ago, Jason Karloff said:

6. Fret Dots

I'm all for 'em. Anything that gets my indelicate fingers to the right place on the fretboard without burdening my cloth ears is OK with me.

Hell, they could even be numbered .

 

What does get my renal output to the point of rapid vaporisation is instructional Youtube vids where there are no fret dots visible .

[Seashell2]

Love the original post here, but honestly I gotta have fret dots!! To the extent that I've actually put my own extra dot on the 10th fret. 😄 It's just something to help me hit a G on the A string in dim light without my glasses on. I just thought, why struggle? And nobody else ever notice it. 

 

 

[paul_5]

Shell’s right though (ymmv), to the untrained eye my unlined fretless has an entirely unmarked board, but along the binding I’ve marked off the feet positions with a small file, and filled the tiny grooves in with silver paint. 
 

Ultimately I think punters (and I) would rather have a bass that’s in the same key as the rest of the band than something nice to look at.

[Velarian]

Like @dclaassen I’m more or less on board with everything on that list but I have developed a nostalgic fondness for sunburst. My first (second hand) Precision around 1980 was a sunburst as it was the only one I could get my hands on. I wasn’t that keen on it TBH, so much so that when it was eventually nicked I don’t recall being massively upset because it gave me an excuse to go and get a black/maple one; far more badass for the early 80s. Looking back now I really wish I still had that original sunburst. 😕

I’m definitely on board with the idea that “battle scars on a bass should be EARNED”

One thing I’m not keen on is the whole boutique bass thing; very expensive instruments made from exotic wood, especially the ones with dozens of strings and aircraft carrier-like fretboards. The vibe is almost like you’re not a real bass player unless it has at least 6 strings and definitely not something agricultural like a P Bass.

 

And I prefer brunettes BTW 😉

[Rich]

Normally this sort of thread goes like this. Here's hoping this one is an exception...

 

I hate this, this and this.

What? They're all brilliant.

No they aren't.

Yes they are.

No they aren't.

Yes they are.

No they aren't.

Yes they are. 

No they aren't. You must be really thick if you think they're any good.

Actually they are great and you're the thick one here.

Oh fck off.

No, you fck off.

No, YOU fck off.

etc.

*lock*

[SH73]

I need my frets, everything else 👍

[dclaassen]

8 minutes ago, Rich said:

Normally this sort of thread goes like this. Here's hoping this one is an exception...

 

I hate this, this and this.

What? They're all brilliant.

No they aren't.

Yes they are.

No they aren't.

Yes they are.

No they aren't.

Yes they are. 

No they aren't. You must be really thick if you think they're any good.

Actually they are great and you're the thick one here.

Oh fck off.

No, you fck off.

No, YOU fck off.

etc.

*lock*

Awww…this one is just for fun, right?

[neepheid]

6 hours ago, Jason Karloff said:

Wow. Like Rod Stewart suddenly realising yesterday that he likes blonde haired women.

Why did it take so long for the penny to drop?

 

I see what you did there.

[Bolo]

Don't buy a bass you dislike. How difficult is that?

I hate the droopy lump on the fender headstock. Solution: I own zero fenders.

[Nail Soup]

7 hours ago, Jason Karloff said:

You just come across as someone who calls his mate Gary "Gazza" and his friend Wayne "Wazza".

Yeah, I hate that too Jazza.

[Bleat]

Jazz bass pickups: I want meat, thud, thump, and heft, not pop, twang, fizzle and whimper.

 

Ibanez necks: If I pay £500 for a bass, I want my woods worth thanks.

 

Basses that would make much better coffee tables.

 

Woefully unbalanced basses: bodies made from balsa wood with necks made from Kryptonite.

 

Fender copies that cost twice as much as the real thing... If I want a traditional "P-Bass"  I'll just buy the real thing by Fender with all its quirks, and save some money thanks.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Edited March 27, 2022 by Bleat

[Newfoundfreedom]

One thing that's a real deal breaker for me is elephant ear tuners. I just can't stand the look of em. Which rules out pretty much all Fenders. 

 

For the most part, I can't stand painted basses. I can just about live with a colour wash as long as the grain still shows through, but a gloss paint job is an absolute no no. 

[police squad]

i did used to feel that way about sunburst, long ago. I dont really care now but I dont have any sunburst basses.

I do have a cherry sunburst Les Paul though, which is really nice

Dots, no problem but lined fretless? Not for me 😀

[rushbo]

20 hours ago, Jason Karloff said:

( So Capra is latin for goat. That explains Capricorn. Everyday I become less of a brainless Womble......this is good)

 

Anyway , I just wanted to release the things that annoy me in the World of bassdom over the last 38 years back into the wild.

 

I don't expect anyone to agree with any of it and my opinion has no more worth than anyone else's. I'm just lancing the boil so to speak.

It's not even worth commenting on really. Just me wiping myself down.

 

So in no particular order:

 

1: Fender's Sunburst.

 

Some would use the words "classic" or "vintage" or "traditional". Personally I would go for "staid", "brown" and "dull".

I want to love looking at you. I don't want to think of my grandmothers living room circa 1925.

I have seen the Sun. Not at close quarters I grant you, but it's not this. It really isn't.

 

which leads me on to

 

2. Fender Multi Stringed Instruments.

Stick with the four string thing. You are good at it.

 

3. People calling pick ups "pups".

It sounds ugly and stupid. You don't sound like you have more familiarity than the average person does with a pick up. You just come across as someone who calls his mate Gary "Gazza" and his friend Wayne "Wazza".

Oh and Chocolate is "Choccy".

Come on. Do better.

 

4.  99% of all top end basses for sale in Mainland Europe.

Natural finish? Oh yes. Wood. Wood and more wood in your face. More wood than Sherwood forest. It's ok to deploy paint over the top. 

I will trust that which lies beneath is not an Ikea Billy Bookcase.

Which leads me on to:

 

5. Wood Pickups.

I'm all for innovation. Pushing the envelope. Rah-Rah-Rah and all. But no.

My bass is made of predominately wood. I don't need these visual reminders.

 

and most controversial of all

 

6. Fret Dots

 

I had been playing for 35 years when I suddenly had a moment of epiphany. All the instruments I have been drooling over for all this time have either a clean fretless neck, or inlays.

Wow. Like Rod Stewart suddenly realising yesterday that he likes blonde haired women.

Why did it take so long for the penny to drop?

I think it stems from I don't like being told what to do and fret dots say "hey put your fingers here!"

Screw you. I will put my fingers where I want.

 

 

 

I feel better now. Try it.

 

 

 

 

 

 

I would disagree with almost everything here, but when expressed with such passion and eloquence, I could almost be persuaded. Almost. 

 

Regarding fret dots, when they come up with some midi/bluetooth/magical device that connects your fretboard  to some discreet earbuds which scream the chord changes into your ear whilst playing, I'll be first in the queue. Whenever I see one of those clever fretless players, nimbly navigating an unlined fingerboard I feel jealous and a little nauseous. I still need a few signposts, even after the best part of forty years of playing in pop groups. 

 

I'm pretty laissez faire about whatever a bassist chooses to twang upon. However:

Pointy headstocks on anything other than a Flying V; and
More than four control knobs on the body of an instrument should really be punishable by a fine, a slapped wrist and an ASBO. If you need a Haynes manual to work out why your bass sounds like a dinosaur with sinus issues, rather than, for example, James Jamerson, I'd consider downsizing. 

[Cato]

I'm a bit inconsistent with regards to sunbusrts.

 

I don't really like it on a bass but I think it can look good on Strat or Tele style guitars.

 

 

[Cato]

Just now, Cato said:

I'm a bit inconsistent with regards to sunbusrts.

 

I don't really like it on a bass but I think it can look good on skinny stringers, particularly Strats , Les Pauls and 335 style guitars.

 

 

 

[Happy Jack]

21 hours ago, Jason Karloff said:

You just come across as someone who calls his mate Gary "Gazza" and his friend Wayne "Wazza".

 

I was once (briefly) in an originals band with a pianist called Barry ("just call me 'Bazza' - everyone does") and a drummer called Gareth ("actually at school they called me 'Gazza'"). We needed a guitarist. Barry found an Australian called Wayne. Welcome aboard Wayne, we all said. "Nah mates, call me "Wazza", OK?".

 

Seriously.

 

[Chezz55]

Nothing really gets me wound-up but my own thoughts on Jason Karloff's list are:

 

1: Fender's Sunburst.  I have no problem with this at all.

 

2. Fender Multi Stringed Instruments.  I'm a convert to the  "Stick with the four string thing", (From a personal perspective, I'm not so sure about the "You are good at it" bit though !).  I went back to 4 string Basses about 4 years ago, I tried my 5 string Bass at a recent rehearsal and decided fairly quickly that I preferred the sound and feel of a 4-string Bass.

 

3. People calling pick ups "pups".  Agree 100% with the OP, they're 'Pick-Ups' 

 

4.  99% of all top end basses for sale in Mainland Europe.  Agree 100% with the OP, especially in terms of visual aesthetics. I find most of the 'Boutique' basses extremely ugly - in particular Single Cut basses.  Some of the woods and finishes are stunning but, the geometries of some designer guitar bodies are just wrong.  I have no problem with painted bodies.

 

5. Wood Pickups.  Agree 100% with the OP, they don't do anything for me.

 

6. Fret Dots.  I'd be lost without them ! !

 

 

My deal breaker would be ................. Coloured Headstock - just looks wrong to me.

 

 

 

[Downunderwonder]

11 hours ago, rushbo said:

Whenever I see one of those clever fretless players, nimbly navigating an unlined fingerboard I feel jealous and a little nauseous

You shouldn't. I mainly play fretless unlined and don't feel particularly clever about the parlour trick that it is. There's dots up the side for if I get lost, which does happen. Intonation is something you either get or you don't.

[Lozz196]

19 hours ago, Chezz55 said:

 

My deal breaker would be ................. Coloured Headstock - just looks wrong to me.

 

Agree, no idea why this gets my goat so much but it just does.

[tegs07]

Nope none of it bothers me. Only thing I can’t be dealing with is complicated instruments with levers, switches and knobs everywhere. That’s mainly because I’m a buffoon that has enough trouble getting a decent sound from a Precision.

[Steve Browning]

1 hour ago, Lozz196 said:

Agree, no idea why this gets my goat so much but it just does.

 

This my Achilles heel. I am such a sucker for candy apple red and a matching headstock, that I own a Jazz bass with that finish, and I don't even like Jazz basses.

 

Now I adore sunburst but admit that the Fender version has the colours wrong, according to an actual sunrise.

Edited March 29, 2022 by Steve Browning