metaphorically, what does your bass sound like?

[SteveXFR]

On 05/04/2022 at 16:15, binky_bass said:

Like a DeLorean shaped stack of hot flapjacks topped by a knob of slowly melting butter utop the heaving chest of the cover girl of the March 1979 edition of Playboy. 

 

I had to look this one up. It seems that the lady on the cover of that particular edition is missing an upper body. Just a head floating above some legs. Maybe she's wearinga top the same colour as the background but that seems unlikely. I won't post the image here, I'm not sure of the rules around images of attractive women's behinds.

[binky_bass]

1 hour ago, SteveXFR said:

 

I had to look this one up. It seems that the lady on the cover of that particular edition is missing an upper body. Just a head floating above some legs. Maybe she's wearinga top the same colour as the background but that seems unlikely. I won't post the image here, I'm not sure of the rules around images of attractive women's behinds.

When you say 'look this one up' you really mean you had to flick through your laminated stack of vintage 'gentleman' magazines to find this particular edition... 

[SteveXFR]

15 minutes ago, binky_bass said:

When you say 'look this one up' you really mean you had to flick through your laminated stack of vintage 'gentleman' magazines to find this particular edition... 

 

I can't enjoy gentleman's art pamphlets from before I was born. Those ladies, lovely as they were back then are in their late 60's now and probably someone's sweet old grandmother. 

[Rich]

Like having your brains smashed out by a slice of lemon, wrapped round a large gold brick.

Edited April 15, 2022 by Rich

[ead]

On 07/04/2022 at 09:34, Rich said:

Like having your brains smashed out by a slice of lemon, wrapped round a large gold brick.

 

Isn't that a Pan Galactic Gargle Baster?

Edited April 15, 2022 by Rich

[Rich]

[theyellowcar]

A sack of springs set loose in a washing machine on “spin” 

[NasalFloss]

My Player P sounds like a fine wood when played an inch from the neck

[leschirons]

My sound is akin to having spent £1600 more than I needed to as it's the same sound as the one that was £1600 less.

[Lfalex v1.1]

Like trying to bake a cake with lead shot.

 

It always ends up too low in the mix.

[Newfoundfreedom]

A moose being beaten to death with a clarinet. 

[Marvin]

A wet rubber band

[ubit]

On 07/04/2022 at 09:11, binky_bass said:

When you say 'look this one up' you really mean you had to peel the pages apart of your laminated stack of vintage 'gentleman' magazines to find this particular edition... 

 

 

There, fixed it for ya.

[Rich]

On 14/04/2022 at 03:47, Lfalex v1.1 said:

Like trying to bake a cake with lead shot.

 

It always ends up too low in the mix.

[Old Horse Murphy]

Barry White Sharting in a deep sided warm bath with eucalyptus scented Radox in it. 

[nilorius]

Brain from God and some deamons in seamens.

[Rich]

8 hours ago, Newfoundfreedom said:

A moose being beaten to death with a clarinet. 

/[thread] 

[Vin Venal]

Both of the basses I'm using at the moment - a player series p-bass, and a vintage modified jaguar - sound, depending on where I have the tone knob, like either a woolly mammoth, or a woolly mammoth covered in spikes.

 

There's a marked difference in the size of the mammoth, cuz the Squier is in D-Standard tuning.

[D.I. Joe]

Buffalo Fart

[Bunion]

Depends on which one I plug in.

The “beater” flea jazz road worn with flats though. 
like I’ve been dipped in honey and chocolate and licked clean by giraffes 

 

 

[ribbetingfrog]

Mines a carefully aimed sledgehammer 

[Lfalex v1.1]

Which is infinitely better than sledgehammering a carefully placed  (land) mine..

[Pseudonym]

 

On 05/04/2022 at 08:15, binky_bass said:

Like a DeLorean shaped stack of hot flapjacks topped by a knob of slowly melting butter utop the heaving chest of the cover girl of the March 1979 edition of Playboy. 

 

On 07/04/2022 at 00:07, SteveXFR said:

I had to look this one up. It seems that the lady on the cover of that particular edition is missing an upper body. Just a head floating above some legs. Maybe she's wearinga top the same colour as the background but that seems unlikely.

 

Thanks to Abebooks, I can clarify that the model on the cover is wearing a black blouse and that she is standing with one foot on the keyboard of a grand piano. So, veering towards the musical but admissible because it isn't expressed in words. Her heaving chest is in no way visible but -- pace Steve -- we can safely assume that she has a chest.

 

This is a good metaphor for a bass sound. That issue of Playboy apparently had an article by Alex Haley about his problems with Roots.

[gafbass02]

Like the snow in a Victorian Christmas scene: deep and crisp and even. 

[Lord Sausage]

Mine's a prick so I don't listen to it!