God loves a quitter…

[AndyTravis]

Well. Absolutely lost my head and binned the band off.

 

If I’d been earning a wage from it I probably would’ve stuck it out.

 

I can’t say I’m 100% happy with the idea of all that hard work going down the toilet.

 

But life is too short to be unhappy in certain peoples company.

 

Nothing specifically wrong with person in question, just a clash of personality.

 

The drummer felt the same apparently and announced his departure 34 seconds after me.

 

So - we go again.

 

Apparently - singer and guitarist plan to continue.

 

Judging by the speed the singer put the adverts on Join My Band…😂

 

 

[uk_lefty]

I know your pain. Music should be fun and you need to be around people you can disagree with and still get the job done. It takes a long time to get a band of like -minded people together, and unfortunately music is full of dreamers, weirdos, and people who can dish out criticism but can't take constructive suggestions. Stick at it, you'll get there!

[Doctor J]

Ah that sucks balls, but we've all been there. Take a breather and go again. Time to reform the 602 with the drummer?

[AndyTravis]

2 minutes ago, Doctor J said:

Ah that sucks balls, but we've all been there. Take a breather and go again. Time to reform the 602 with the drummer?

No. The 602 is deffo dead.

 

singer was in both.

 

Drummer and I plan to move on together. Meeting some people next week.

[AndyTravis]

22 minutes ago, uk_lefty said:

people who can dish out criticism but can't take constructive suggestions. 

This was a deciding factor…

[Woodinblack]

If you have a bass and drums, all you need is the novelty acts to top it off!

[steantval]

2 hours ago, AndyTravis said:

No. The 602 is deffo dead.

 

singer was in both.

 

Drummer and I plan to move on together. Meeting some people next week.

When I first read it, I thought it said you and the drummer were moving in together 😜😜😜😜😜

[AndyTravis]

5 minutes ago, steantval said:

When I first read it, I thought it said you and the drummer were moving in together 😜😜😜😜😜

I’d be alright with Maximus, he’s a clean and tidy fella.

[Supernaut]

Don't want to sound rude but the problem may be a little closer to home? 
 

If band members come and go all the time...

[AndyTravis]

3 minutes ago, Supernaut said:

Don't want to sound rude but the problem may be a little closer to home? 
 

If band members come and go all the time...

i absolutely see your point; I will counter it though.

 

Band 1 - 1997-2000

youngsters playing, people went off to Uni etc. was best man for drummer and guitarist.

Band 2 - 2000-2007

Remaining members plus new guy, did 2 albums. Was best man at new guys wedding.

Band 3 - 2007-2013

Invited to join, 1 album, 1 EP - I left to be a dad, get married etc. Still talk to people from this band regularly.

(break in playing)

Band 4 - 2014-2017

Covers band - not really my thing, but did 3 years of it as we all got on (guitarist changed once - drummer changed once; neither enjoyed pub gigs) still talk to all members.

Band 5 - 2017

Attempt at big Motown band. Met singer from last band here…he disliked the female vocalist - you know the scene in “The Commitments” when Deco has to play tambourine…? That. Still talk to 6 of the 7 members, the female singer moved to Spain.

Band 6 - The 602

Original drummer cited mental health issues. Replaced with drummer who I’m still with.

Guitarist relocated to Birmingham for work…

Replaced with a chap who stayed into next iteration.

Singer decided he wanted to stop.

Covid etc occurs…

Band 7 - Flying Oceans

a rebranded 602, which I didn’t really understand the point of…singer returns.

 

So…without an in depth life story of each band and other side projects - I’m not sure the problem is that close to home.

 

As mentioned before, it’s not always going to be an easy ride.

 

I’ve been really vague/polite about the circumstances - just so it doesn’t come across as a whinge.

 

But the drummer wanting to carry on, and leaving “with” me…probably suggests i’m alright…

 

 

[uk_lefty]

There's a difference between enjoying a drink and a jam with some friends and trying to put a band together that has everyone pulling in the same direction. What works for me on the new band is we are all on a similar page in terms of age, family circumstances and work circumstances. So we all understand that if the guitarist has a work trip to France we can't rehearse, that's ok. We all have jobs that mean we don't rely on the gig money, so we don't end up traveling to sh*tholes to play for thirty quid each and we can protect the band image and our family time. If my kids are sick on the day of rehearsal we cancel with nobody whining because it can happen with any of the other guys too. And most crucially we all want the same thing for the band in terms of what type of venue we play, how far we will travel, what we want to charge, and how many gigs we can take on. I've never found another band with that type of cooperation and understanding and I don't think I ever will again until I'm in my late fifties or whatever with a load of other retired people!

[mowf]

14 hours ago, uk_lefty said:

unfortunately music is full of dreamers, weirdos, and people who can dish out criticism but can't take constructive suggestions. Stick at it, you'll get there!

I initially misread this as “unfortunately music is full of DRUMMERS, weirdos etc…”

[Downunderwonder]

11 hours ago, AndyTravis said:

I’d be alright with Maximus, he’s a clean and tidy fella.

You mean his Mum does his laundry and makes sure he washes behind his ears?

[neepheid]

Been there, done that. It sucks, but for the sake of sanity it is best to leave it all behind.

 

The fact that the singer emailed me after I quit (in person, band meeting) and called it a "futile and theatrical gesture" says more about the toxicity than I ever could.

[odysseus]

Yeah, I hear that!

 

  I just quit my band too. Singer turning up to less than 25% of rehearsals... can't make Saturday rehearsal cos she's out on the p!ss... can't make Thursdays coz she's still on a comedown from all the other sh!t she took at the weekend.  40 years old, considerably overweight, crap diet, no exercise, still trying to live the life of a 20 year old.  Ergo we can't gig short-notice as we're under-rehearsed, can't do full 2-set gigs for the same reason and constantly have to get support bands in.   Can't book recording time either.   Drummer is unwilling to do anything about it, as he rents a room off her.  Guitarist is in self-inflicted ill health too, so would rather coast along doing bugger-all.  People can live life however they see fit, but why be in a band if you don't want to put the effort in?

[AndyTravis]

6 minutes ago, Downunderwonder said:

You mean his Mum does his laundry and makes sure he washes behind his ears?

No no, he’s fully housetrained 😂

[CJPJ]

4 hours ago, uk_lefty said:

There's a difference between enjoying a drink and a jam with some friends and trying to put a band together that has everyone pulling in the same direction. What works for me on the new band is we are all on a similar page in terms of age, family circumstances and work circumstances. So we all understand that if the guitarist has a work trip to France we can't rehearse, that's ok. We all have jobs that mean we don't rely on the gig money, so we don't end up traveling to sh*tholes to play for thirty quid each and we can protect the band image and our family time. If my kids are sick on the day of rehearsal we cancel with nobody whining because it can happen with any of the other guys too. And most crucially we all want the same thing for the band in terms of what type of venue we play, how far we will travel, what we want to charge, and how many gigs we can take on. I've never found another band with that type of cooperation and understanding and I don't think I ever will again until I'm in my late fifties or whatever with a load of other retired people!

 

^this 100%. We formed the band at a PTA event and had kids at the same school. 15 years later we are still together with a new singer is similar position, still have our family and jobs as no.1 priority and understand these come first. We are fortunate that this is a hobby for us and whilst that is not the ideal motivation to be the best version version of ourselves, it does mean that we can choose what we do and enjoy doing it. 

[Happy Jack]

5 hours ago, odysseus said:

I just quit my band too. Singer turning up to less than 25% of rehearsals... can't make Saturday rehearsal cos she's out on the p!ss... can't make Thursdays coz she's still on a comedown from all the other sh!t she took at the weekend.  40 years old, considerably overweight, crap diet, no exercise, still trying to live the life of a 20 year old.  Ergo we can't gig short-notice as we're under-rehearsed, can't do full 2-set gigs for the same reason and constantly have to get support bands in.   Can't book recording time either.   Drummer is unwilling to do anything about it, as he rents a room off her.  Guitarist is in self-inflicted ill health too, so would rather coast along doing bugger-all.  People can live life however they see fit, but why be in a band if you don't want to put the effort in?

 

Granted that we're all on some sort of spectrum, and I'm far nearer the control-freak get-it-done-now-and-get-it-right end of that spectrum myself, but I'm forever astonished at how many of the people I've played with over the last 15 years have either had substance issues (usually booze or dope or both, of course) or self-worth issues or were just perfectly feckless in how they lived their lives.

 

I'm only talking about people I've actually played with here, so a sample size of perhaps a hundred musos. If I were to include all the musos I've met but haven't played with (i.e. a group largely comprising flakes and fantasists) my sample size gets quite respectable. 

 

To me it's clear that a "career in music" (bwahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!) frequently attracts a certain personality type - along with plenty of perfectly sensible, hard-working folk of course - and that a lot of them work really hard to live down to the image of what a rock musician is supposed to be.

 

One of the saddest things I ever hear is when some desperate Keef Richard wannabe sees me doing something he wouldn't do, and says "not very rock'n'roll, is it?" like there's a rule book which he memorised as a 14-year-old and can't let go of.

 

[Old Horse Murphy]

You're passionate and you're trying to find an outlet for your passion Andy. Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't. Add that type of passion to creativity and of course you're likely to have clashes: it happens in all walks of life. 
 

Give yourself a break mate. Your self-preservation kicked in at the right time and you left before you fell out of love with music and being in a band. Something will come along, it just wasn't this thing. 

[AndyTravis]

52 minutes ago, Old Horse Murphy said:

You're passionate and you're trying to find an outlet for your passion Andy. Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't. Add that type of passion to creativity and of course you're likely to have clashes: it happens in all walks of life. 
 

Give yourself a break mate. Your self-preservation kicked in at the right time and you left before you fell out of love with music and being in a band. Something will come along, it just wasn't this thing. 

Absolutely J, I want to enjoy what I’m doing.

 

When the fun stops…stop.

 

It’s not affecting my enjoyment of playing, actually had my rig set up and enjoying playing my J bass the last couple of days - I’ve had it years and I forget how much I love it because shiny things get in the way.

 

 

[Eldon Tyrell]

Andy, God loves you, if you are a quitter or not. Now that you have seen the light, you may want to ask these bands if they need a great bass player like you, brother. Hallelujah 👼

 

    

 

 

 

 

[AndyTravis]

I think I spontaneously combust if I cross the threshold of a church without 48hr prior notice @Eldon Tyrell

[Burns-bass]

Good for you Andy. Sounds like a toxic setup. I’m thankfully in a band with people who all share the drive and commitment to do things properly. Rehearsals are booked, paid for and attended. Equipment is well maintained and songs learned. 
 

The difference is we’re a “dry” band - no boozing before, during or after gigs and rehearsals, but we all get together for a blow out when we can. Works so much better. 
 

[AndyTravis]

46 minutes ago, Burns-bass said:

Good for you Andy. Sounds like a toxic setup. I’m thankfully in a band with people who all share the drive and commitment to do things properly. Rehearsals are booked, paid for and attended. Equipment is well maintained and songs learned. 
 

The difference is we’re a “dry” band - no boozing before, during or after gigs and rehearsals, but we all get together for a blow out when we can. Works so much better. 
 

Yeah - we rehearse dry and at gigs have a strict 2 pint limit, which - if I’m driving turns me into a zero pint bass player.

 

Substance issues didn’t exist in this band - I’ve been there with another band and a singer I worked with for a bit - I stuck it out but found it borderline intolerable.

 

This is just a “life’s too short to bite your lip through every 10 minutes…” and “How many times can you offer ideas and constructive criticism only to be ignored or the complete opposite thing be done?”

 

kind of vibe.

 

It is what it is; anyhow - just dealing with releases of last studio bits. 
 

Think singer and guitarist will continue as the band.

 

best of luck to them.

[leroydiamond]

23 hours ago, AndyTravis said:

Absolutely J, I want to enjoy what I’m doing.

 

When the fun stops…stop.

 

It’s not affecting my enjoyment of playing, actually had my rig set up and enjoying playing my J bass the last couple of days - I’ve had it years and I forget how much I love it because shiny things get in the way.

 

 

Lovely J bass. What make and model is it?