Ugly Basses

[Rib13Bass]

Fresh out of the oven

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3K86-a9X9DQ&t

Edited September 21, 2022 by Rib13Bass

[Barking Spiders]

Ye gods, that is one parade of fugly basses to which Id add Mayones Cali range of mini basses

[Cato]

I've never seen a bass so ugly that I didn't eventually end up gassing for one.

 

Even those Foderas that look like a whale swallowing a ladder, I want to play one just to see why they built them like that, I'm imagining some sort of supreme ergonomic experience that makes perfect sense of the questionable aethetic.

[NancyJohnson]

There's hundreds of them. 

 

Noted author Mark Phillips aside, I saw these on eBay a while back and they were so awful it was worth taking screengrabs.  No idea who made them.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Lest we forget...

 

[NancyJohnson]

I found two more.  

 

The maker is Hart Guitars...England.  Credit to the guy for having a go, but damn.

 

 

[Cosmo Valdemar]

1 hour ago, NancyJohnson said:

Lest we forget...

 

Ideal for large-handed scaffolders, farm workers and mature students. 

[Osiris]

Not the design but the finish. Sunburst and/or tort are disgusting enough on their own, but when combined they are truly hideous 🤢🤮

Just add gold hardware for the holy trinity of awful bass aesthetics! 

 

[LeftyJ]

Beautifully crafted, but em... I'll let the pictures speak for themselves. 

https://www.notreble.com/buzz/2022/07/25/bass-of-the-week-kio-extraordinary-string-instruments-design-waldeinsamkeit/ 

 

 

[Crusoe]

22 minutes ago, Osiris said:

Not the design but the finish. Sunburst and/or tort are disgusting enough on their own, but when combined they are truly hideous 🤢🤮

Just add gold hardware for the holy trinity of awful bass aesthetics! 

 

You are going straight to hell

[Greg Edwards69]

This is one of the reasons I love Basschat.  Discussing "ugly basses" is prohibited on Talkbass, just in case it offends someone.

[cetera]

1 hour ago, NancyJohnson said:

The maker is Hart Guitars...England.  Credit to the guy for having a go, but damn.

 

 

I quite like this, to be fair...

[lemmywinks]

1 hour ago, NancyJohnson said:

I found two more.  

 

The maker is Hart Guitars...England.  Credit to the guy for having a go, but damn.

 

 

 

I always find it weird when someone can have the expertise to build a neck, shape a body and achieve a decent standard of finish but just have zero eye for what looks good in the most basic sense. That bottom one looks like it's half way there - has some lines that flow nicely across the centre line but then the builder ruins it with that bottom horn and the odd choice of how the upper horn joins the body.

[NancyJohnson]

4 minutes ago, lemmywinks said:

 

I always find it weird when someone can have the expertise to build a neck, shape a body and achieve a decent standard of finish but just have zero eye for what looks good in the most basic sense. That bottom one looks like it's half way there - has some lines that flow nicely across the centre line but then the builder ruins it with that bottom horn and the odd choice of how the upper horn joins the body.

 

When I first saw these (see my first post with the two flowery inlays), my first thought was that the fretboards may have been bought-in and perhaps CNC'd in China (or somewhere).  Maybe the necks look as lumpy as the fronts.

[TheGreek]

3 hours ago, Barking Spiders said:

Ye gods, that is one parade of fugly basses to which Id add Mayones Cali range of mini basses

 

I really like these (isn't there one for sale here currently??) Waiting for them to come down in price to grab one at bargain basement price.

[Woodinblack]

3 hours ago, Barking Spiders said:

Ye gods, that is one parade of fugly basses to which Id add Mayones Cali range of mini basses

 

I wouldn't say ugly on those but there is something wrong with the proportions

 

 

2 hours ago, Osiris said:

Not the design but the finish. Sunburst and/or tort are disgusting enough on their own, but when combined they are truly hideous 🤢

Just add gold hardware for the holy trinity of awful bass aesthetics! 

 

I like gold hardware but once you have gone sunburst and tort there is no way you can go up, so I would agree in that specific case. However, I would say if that was on a P, it would be uglier.

[msb]

Walked into the little vintage shop we used to have and saw a Wishbass hanging on the wall. I was familiar with them but had never seen one in the flesh. It did not disappoint. Dog ugly. 
It had the crudest finish I’ve seen on any instrument , the neck was enormous , everything about it was primitive.

And this was one of the uglier ones.

Oh , I’ve seen tons of bad lutherie , and questionable design over the years , but nothing could hold a candle to that thing.

[hiram.k.hackenbacker]

2 hours ago, Greg Edwards69 said:

This is one of the reasons I love Basschat.  Discussing "ugly basses" is prohibited on Talkbass, just in case it offends someone.

I did not know that. I very rarely go on TB to be fair, but that seems ridiculous. 

[Rib13Bass]

some of those are true eye sores...i think im going to make a Part 2 video...........

Edited September 22, 2022 by Rib13Bass

[Rib13Bass]

22 minutes ago, msb said:

Walked into the little vintage shop we used to have and saw a Wishbass hanging on the wall. I was familiar with them but had never seen one in the flesh. It did not disappoint. Dog ugly. 
It had the crudest finish I’ve seen on any instrument , the neck was enormous , everything about it was primitive.

And this was one of the uglier ones.

Oh , I’ve seen tons of bad lutherie , and questionable design over the years , but nothing could hold a candle to that thing.

 

a few years ago i was playing keyboards in a band with a bass player that owned a Wishbass that sat in a stand and never used.....it is fugly and was part of my inspiration for the video (although it isnt in it)....however, unlike your experience, the neck on this one (a fretless - are Wishbasses all fretless?) was decent and it didnt sound too bad (in all fairness, it didnt sound great either)

[itu]

There's one brand that has highest end basses but their designs have always been a question mark for me: Alembic. I am not to say they are ugly, but not all of them are pretty.

 

During 1980's several brands produced heavy metal basses that were not only ugly but also ridiculous. On the other hand ABBA and Bootsy were not so serious...

[dclaassen]

I had one of these in the '80's...great bass, fantastic sound and tone...just really heavy and uuugggglllllyyyyyyy

 

[BigRedX]

Far better to have an ugly bass than a boring one.

[Dad3353]

7 minutes ago, BigRedX said:

Far better to have an ugly bass than a boring one.

 

Far better to have a boring one than a leg missing. 

[Leonard Smalls]

Lovin' my ugly 'un! Parker...

 

[ZilchWoolham]

1 hour ago, itu said:

There's one brand that has highest end basses but their designs have always been a question mark for me: Alembic. I am not to say they are ugly, but not all of them are pretty.

 

Alembic were definitely pioneers of the furniture bass, but in comparison the the increasingly large, increasingly amorphous blobs made in the decades since by the likes of Fodera, Mayones etc. I think the early symmetric Alembics are actually quite stylish.