Creating a monster (lead singer problem)

[dieseldalziel]

I think you probably know what needs to happen next.

 

The communication issues would definitely be very irritating, but not wanting to be part of bedding in a new band member, not wanting to make an effort to create a working unit I find bizarre.

He's on a power trip.

 

[Phil Starr]

You say we but how many band members are there? Have you spoken to them, what do they think? Do they have your back? 

 

Sounds like there are at least two of you from the original band and the new drummer who may be keeping out of it or just wondering what is going on.

 

It seems to me your decision is already made though, you can't work with this guy and he won't change, none of us fancy working with him either however good he is. Most of us have been there before, most of have tried both routes, stick or twist. Sticking doesn't really work, all the band politics creeps in and sooner or later the unsaid things are said and it is over anyway. 

 

Check the rest of the band are with you first but start looking for another singer. Maybe look for deps so you can hang on to your gigs.

[Norris]

On 18/11/2022 at 16:55, jezzaboy said:

Life is too short to work with a bell end.

#nutshell

[leroydiamond]

Been there, done that. He has got to go and IMO a music stand is completely unacceptable for a lead vocalist

[FinnDave]

On 18/11/2022 at 16:55, jezzaboy said:

Life is too short to work with a bell end.

 

Which reminds me - I have a rehearsal this afternoon and if the guitarist gets moody (not an uncommon occurrence), then will be my last with that band. I've quit before but the nice guys come and talk me out of it.

[jezzaboy]

33 minutes ago, FinnDave said:

 

Which reminds me - I have a rehearsal this afternoon and if the guitarist gets moody (not an uncommon occurrence), then will be my last with that band. I've quit before but the nice guys come and talk me out of it.

Cant be annoyed with moody band mates, it just sucks the life out of it for me.

[FinnDave]

32 minutes ago, jezzaboy said:

Cant be annoyed with moody band mates, it just sucks the life out of it for me.

Me too, one wobbly this afternoon and I'm packing and leaving. My main band (Wirebirds) is pure joy, the other one is good in parts, but the one bad apple turns me right off.

Edited November 20, 2022 by FinnDave

[Angelus]

1 hour ago, FinnDave said:

 

Which reminds me - I have a rehearsal this afternoon and if the guitarist gets moody (not an uncommon occurrence), then will be my last with that band. I've quit before but the nice guys come and talk me out of it.

I will need closure on this, this evening, or I won’t be able to sleep thinking about how it went. 🤣 But been there and done that, next thing the nice guys are phoning and talking me round and I stayed, although with a different attitude to some of horse sh*t that goes on. 🙄

[steantval]

A prime example - Boy George 

 

If anyone has seen his attitude on Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here, he comes across as a nasty spiteful old drama queen, not a nice person.

[FinnDave]

4 hours ago, Angelus said:

I will need closure on this, this evening, or I won’t be able to sleep thinking about how it went. 🤣 But been there and done that, next thing the nice guys are phoning and talking me round and I stayed, although with a different attitude to some of horse sh*t that goes on. 🙄

They kind of wrong footed me by deciding that the set for next week's gig would start with one of my favourite songs - as soon as we started playing, I was  happy again! Guitarist was fairly sociable and good natured and I completely forgot why I wanted to quit! And the nice guys were just being themselves but that was enough - I enjoy their company and the music, it's just the guitarist… For the sake of being able to play some great songs that I love, I'll put up with him a while longer.

[Mickeyboro]

3 hours ago, FinnDave said:

They kind of wrong footed me by deciding that the set for next week's gig would start with one of my favourite songs - as soon as we started playing, I was  happy again! Guitarist was fairly sociable and good natured and I completely forgot why I wanted to quit! And the nice guys were just being themselves but that was enough - I enjoy their company and the music, it's just the guitarist… For the sake of being able to play some great songs that I love, I'll put up with him a while longer.

Any chance of a trade? 😈

[FinnDave]

9 hours ago, Mickeyboro said:

Any chance of a trade? 😈

Could do, I was born in Bournemouth!

[peteb]

On 19/11/2022 at 10:10, Mickeyboro said:

There haven’t been many who think he could be rehabilitated. I’d like to hear anyone who thinks we could go down that route. (We did have a band meeting a while back to democratise choosing new material, but this seems to have been forgotten about).

 

Of course he can be, if he actually wants to stay in the band. He seems to have issues about the new material other band members are coming up with and that the old drummer (who he seems to have liked) has been replaced by someone he either doesn't like or rate. He seems to be dealing with this by sulking and making himself difficult to talk to. 

 

Why not get one or two of you who he gets on with to meet up and have a chat with him over a beer. You might be able to clear the air and move forward. I always have a little chuckle when the first thought of people on here is always to leave a band or kick out a key member as soon as there is a problem. It is always pretty difficult to replace a decent LV / frontman, so it's worth at least having a chat with him about what his issues actually are... 

 

Edited November 21, 2022 by peteb

[Mickeyboro]

Just now, peteb said:

 

Of course he can be, if he actually wants to stay in the band. He seems to have issues about the new material other band members are coming up with and that the old drummer (who he seems to have liked) has been replaced by someone he either doesn't like or rate. He seems to be dealing with this by sulking and making himself difficult to talk to. 

 

Why not get one or two of you who het gets on with to meet up and have a chat with him over a beer. You might be able to clear the air and move forward. I always have a little chuckle when the first thought of people on here is always to leave a band or kick out a key member as soon as there is a problem. It is always pretty difficult to replace a decent LV / frontman, so it's worth at least having a chat with him about what he's issues actually are... 

 

Thanks for this. It’s difficult, as we did have ‘this meeting’ over material a while ago and he seems to have erased it from his memory. The drummer issue is kind of separate from the repertoire, but may be the sticking point - esp if he fancies putting something together with the first guy. Suspect that would last two minutes, though! 
 

We shall see - three gigs to get through yet.

[peteb]

12 minutes ago, Mickeyboro said:

Thanks for this. It’s difficult, as we did have ‘this meeting’ over material a while ago and he seems to have erased it from his memory. The drummer issue is kind of separate from the repertoire, but may be the sticking point - esp if he fancies putting something together with the first guy. Suspect that would last two minutes, though! 
 

We shall see - three gigs to get through yet.

 

The trouble with having a 'band meeting' to discuss material is that he is going to feel that he is outnumbered, whereas if its a chat with just one or two of you he may feel more able to discuss things properly. 

 

The other issue is, why did the old drummer leave? Are there any unresolved problems there? 

 

[Mickeyboro]

52 minutes ago, peteb said:

The other issue is, why did the old drummer leave? Are there any unresolved problems there? 

 

He just didn’t get on with me! Quite unreasonable😁

 

But they were pals - or at least musical allies. So maybe he does feel threatened.

 

Do you have to be a blues fanatic, to the exception of all else, to be in a blues band. I’m not, and I am!

[tauzero]

On 19/11/2022 at 13:04, Dr.Dave said:

As some of you will know my solution to singer problems was to become one ! Clearly this isn't for everybody but I would say this about it.

 

 Don't ever tell me you can't sing. What you mean is you don't sing. Because of that you haven't learned how to use your voice - what suits it etc etc. When you started playing bass how good were you ? Gigging standard 5 mins after you first picked one up ??? Of course not - you took time to practise and learn new skills and your competence grew. Same with singing. 

 

I've been singing for 50 years, including being lead vocalist with one band for a while, and no, I can't sing beyond a few slightly dodgy backing vocals. I was, however, gigging standard with a bass in a month or two.

[Geek99]

On 20/11/2022 at 01:37, Norris said:

#nutshell

But didn’t you used to also work at a certain place at a certain time ? Surely we both that no such people exist ? 🧐🤔🤔🤔

[miles'tone]

10 hours ago, Mickeyboro said:

He just didn’t get on with me! Quite unreasonable😁

 

But they were pals - or at least musical allies. So maybe he does feel threatened.

 

Do you have to be a blues fanatic, to the exception of all else, to be in a blues band. I’m not, and I am!

Sorry to play devil's advocate here, but have you considered that maybe you're the problem?

For blues covers the new drummer should be able to get up to speed in his own time by playing along to the original recordings I would have thought...

[Munurmunuh]

On 17/11/2022 at 19:29, Mickeyboro said:

We are now at the stage of widening our repertoire

 

Who decided this, and when?

[Mickeyboro]

3 hours ago, miles'tone said:

Sorry to play devil's advocate here, but have you considered that maybe you're the problem?

For blues covers the new drummer should be able to get up to speed in his own time by playing along to the original recordings I would have thought...

We have played two gigs with him and wanted to iron out the mistakes. Not quite as easy as playing to the record, as intros and such are often changed. The singer should surely think of the band, not just himself?

 

1 hour ago, Ricky Rioli said:

 

Who decided this, and when?

We have played the same songs (ie 90 percent his old repertoire) all thi# year so need new ones. The issue is who chooses…

[Munurmunuh]

19 minutes ago, Mickeyboro said:

We have played the same songs (ie 90 percent his old repertoire) all thi# year so need new ones. The issue is who chooses…

 

That doesn't answer my question of who made that decision, but the fact you skipped on to defending the decision indicates which direction the answer lies in.

 

You've got a singer who is making a success of singing songs he wants to sing, and you're now wondering why he's not delighted that you're trying to oblige him to sing new stuff? 

 

Since you don't like the singer or his songs, why not just leave, and find a singer to play with who is more to your taste? You don't seem to doing a good job of manoeuvring this one into becoming what you want.

[Ralf1e]

On 18/11/2022 at 15:25, yorks5stringer said:

So you want me to go ahead with the horses head?

No waste of a good horse 🤣

[Chienmortbb]

2 hours ago, Ricky Rioli said:

 

That doesn't answer my question of who made that decision, but the fact you skipped on to defending the decision indicates which direction the answer lies in.

 

You've got a singer who is making a success of singing songs he wants to sing, and you're now wondering why he's not delighted that you're trying to oblige him to sing new stuff? 

 

Since you don't like the singer or his songs, why not just leave, and find a singer to play with who is more to your taste? You don't seem to doing a good job of manoeuvring this one into becoming what you want.

 When your audience starts singing the next song, before you have announced or started playing it, you need to change your set list. In saying that, you have to be aware that the singer cannot play up the dusty end or drop tune, so some accommodation is needed in a band. In the end, the singer has to have a veto on songs, but that should not mean that they have a veto on change. The set list has to evolve, or the band will stagnate.

[Ralf1e]

On 19/11/2022 at 08:38, FinnDave said:

We had a 'difficult' singer in the band for a couple of years. We persevered with her as she was a former name and we got better gigs on the strength of that, Trouble was, she knew that and started making demands about new material in the set - modern electro pop/disco that didn't exactly suit the 4 not so young guys who though we were a blues band! 

We asked her to go, eventually, which she managed to turn around on social media to her deciding to leave. The gigs didn't dry up we never played any of her choices again and got back to enjoying what we play.

She was a 'real professional', but still used a music stand for her lyric sheets. She also liked to talk to the audience between songs - only problem was that her speaking voice was very quite whereas her singing voice could fill a room even without the PA - so when she was mumbling into the mic about whatever she mumbled about, no one could hear a word she said. 

I remember her introducing one song as 'her favourite song ever' and then pulling a crumpled sheet of paper out of her pocket so she could read the lyrics as she sang.

We are now a happy three piece, no lyric sheets, not even a set list - the guitarist starts playing whatever he feels will go down well and bass & drums join in. Much more fun!

Dave Great stuff.  Who took over the singing? How far are you from Oxford. Don't generally go to gigs nowadays but wouldn't mind venturing out for a listen sometime as I cant be that far away he says not being sure how far west Oxon stretches

Edited November 22, 2022 by Ralf1e
spelling