Combed20 Posted December 30, 2022 Share Posted December 30, 2022 Going out socially with the band tonight. Trip to the pub to welcome our new drummer. The members all get on really well, but we don't go out together often as with rehearsing once a week, gigging roughly once a month, work and a young family I find it hard to find any more time. Just wondering, how many people here meet up with band members socially? If not why not, etc etc 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dad3353 Posted December 30, 2022 Share Posted December 30, 2022 (edited) We are all, in our own ways, somewhat asocial, but we do indulge, sporadically, in a group event. One such event tomorrow evening, where we are all (five of us in the group...) invited to 2nd Guitar's cottage for an evening. We'll (drums, bass, 1st guitar...) do the main course, another (singist..?) will bring starters, and our host will provide dessert and drinks. It's a modest get-together, with some singing and guitar-playing; no party hats or crackers, though. These little occasions are all the more enjoyable for being spontaneous and rare. Edit : I should maybe have mentioned that I'm the drummer, Bass and 1st Guitar are our two sons; we all share the same cottage. Despite this, we have little social interactivity, having each our 'quarters' and occupations. Odd meals, a few (very few...) TV programmes, crossed paths in the kitchen area, or for shopping, is our daily/weekly modus operandi. As I wrote at the start : somewhat asocial. Edited December 30, 2022 by Dad3353 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Newfoundfreedom Posted December 30, 2022 Share Posted December 30, 2022 The only reason I'm in a band is for the social aspect. It's first and foremost a social gathering for me. Always has been, always will be. I could never be in a band with someone who I didn't get along with socially. Life's too short. We almost always go out for a meal and / or a drink after rehearsals, and do lots of other things together. We're actually meeting up tomorrow afternoon for a NYE jam just for the pleasure of it. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Len_derby Posted December 30, 2022 Share Posted December 30, 2022 No, it’s not for me. I don’t want my band mates to be my drinking buddies, or my drinking buddies to be my band mates. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Combed20 Posted December 30, 2022 Author Share Posted December 30, 2022 Rehearsal and gigging is my social life! Like you, I have to enjoy the company of the other members. If rehearsing and gigging isn't fun, it's time for me to move on.... 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Len_derby Posted December 30, 2022 Share Posted December 30, 2022 1 hour ago, Combed20 said: Rehearsal and gigging is my social life! Like you, I have to enjoy the company of the other members. If rehearsing and gigging isn't fun, it's time for me to move on.... Just to put a bit more meat on the bone of my previous reply, I have lots of fun gigging, rehearsing and songwriting without having to be chums with my band mates. I fully subscribe to the ‘the most fun you can have with your clothes on’ school of thought about playing live music. For me, a bit of social distancing makes for better music. I’m fully committed to the bands I’m in. I’m told I’m easy to work with, affable and I hardly ever miss a gig or band meet. But, outside those musical activities I’m not interested. I’ve got more than enough friends and family I struggle to find time for already. It depends on what you want to get out of it, and probably where you are in terms of family, job, age etc. But my stance is that if you only want to play music with people you are friends with your horizons will be limited. A case in point, I play with a guy who’s a committed Christian of the Evangelical Holy Spirit type. I find a lot of his beliefs totally barking and he thinks I’m doomed but, it’s not an issue. We only meet to play music, and he’s a great guitarist. But we’re all different. Which is great. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kitsto Posted December 30, 2022 Share Posted December 30, 2022 In my last band it was a rule that we go to the pub after rehearsal. We rehearsed every Tuesday 6-9pm then went to the pub till 10.30 (and usually gigged 2-3 times a month). I thought it was a great idea (even though I'd stopped drinking by then) because we got to know and like each other. But I've also played perfectly happily in bands where we met to play and didn't socialise at all outside the band. On balance I'd always prefer to be in a band where the others are mates. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paul S Posted December 30, 2022 Share Posted December 30, 2022 This band, no. We live a fair distance from each other - a sort of triangle that is 55miles, 35 miles, 35 miles - and all have different lives outside of the band. Its a funny old mix, really - we are such different people, different ages - I'm 65, guitarist is 50, drummer is 40. But the music is amazing, such a great buzz about it when we play. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lemmywinks Posted December 30, 2022 Share Posted December 30, 2022 Keyboard player is a mate I've known since Primary School so we socialise a lot outside band stuff, singer has been with us for about 6 years and we do socialise with her as well. Guitarist and drummer are both quite new and live in a different area so not so much there, nice lads though and just a logistics thing really. Our old guitarist is also a mate I've known for years as well, plenty of shared pub time between us! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lozz196 Posted December 30, 2022 Share Posted December 30, 2022 In my current gigging band no, we don’t socialise as we all live a fair way apart from each other. In my other band, the one that doesn’t gig yes we socialise, we’ve all been mates for years. In fact in this one the being in a band/rehearsals thing is more socialising than being in a band really. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mudpup Posted December 30, 2022 Share Posted December 30, 2022 (edited) Gigging together almost every weekend means we don't feel the need to mingle further. We've been trying to arrange a band Xmas curry for the last 6 or 7 years and finally managed to get everyone together last year for one - then 2 of them caught C19 that night and we missed the NYE gig as a result 🤣 Edited December 30, 2022 by Mudpup 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bassfinger Posted December 30, 2022 Share Posted December 30, 2022 We have band meetings in the con club in the village mqybe 3 or 4 times a year to discuss set lists, gear purchases etc. These inevitably end up as lengthy social knee's up. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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