lowhand_mike Posted August 23, 2007 Share Posted August 23, 2007 (edited) like the title says how do you break the news, do you tell them, yourself, get a band mate to do it, bribe someone at a gig to let em down gently? is it easier to ditch a particular part of the band? singer, guitar drummer etc. whats your views, not like i need to know or anything oh quick edit or do you leave taking the parts of the band with you that you like and start fresh, or lump it and carry on? Edited August 23, 2007 by lowhand_mike Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Funk Posted August 23, 2007 Share Posted August 23, 2007 (edited) Well, it depends on a lot. Never get someone else to do your dirty work. How did this crap musician end up in the band in the first place? EDIT: I always vote for leaving together with the good parts of the band and starting again. Edited August 23, 2007 by The Funk Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
E_MaN Posted August 23, 2007 Share Posted August 23, 2007 tell them honestly. Best way. But don't say 'your crap' that just sounds bitchy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Johngh Posted August 23, 2007 Share Posted August 23, 2007 (edited) In the last band that I helped put together, everyone left me to try to get the other musicians though adds on Musofinder, mainly because they couldn't be arsed. They then started moaning when they thought they were not up to scratch, and left it to me to break the bad news. This is one of the reasons I luuuuuurve bands so much !! I'm in the process of putting another together at the moment, and I'm not looking forward to it at all. Decent keyboard players are difficult to find though in my experience, if you get a half decent one, hold on with all your might ! Edited August 23, 2007 by Johngh Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Musky Posted August 23, 2007 Share Posted August 23, 2007 I wouldn't actually bother telling them they suck, just that they're not in the band anymore. Depending on the circumstances I'd qualify that with something like 'we don't things have worked out', or 'you're standard of playing hasn't kept up with he rest of the band'. Whether you want to carry on with the band, or leave with the other members you like and start afresh really depends on the position the band is in - if you've got little or no fanbase, there's nothing to lose by starting over. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mikey D Posted August 23, 2007 Share Posted August 23, 2007 You just have to be be upfront and specific to the reason. Don't just say "you're crap" if there is something they need to work on, let them know and if they are willing to work on it, give them a chance maybe. If there is no way of it working you just have to man up and tell them. It's hard when it is a friend though, but personally I haven't known people to stop being friends if they are honest and upfront, rather than just bitchin about them and not being honest. That is where friendships are lost. Best to do it sooner rather than later as it can be bad for the band as a whole if one person is bringing it down. I have known bands to rehearse minus the offending member, then eventually get a replacement without telling the original guy, thinking that they are still in the band etc. Not good and it can cause a lot of s**t if you aren't upfront in the first place. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tylerlangan Posted August 23, 2007 Share Posted August 23, 2007 I think honesty is really the best policy when it comes to this sort of thing, but then as was mentioned above 'you're crap' isnt really that much of a positive thing to say. I guess it's like most things, the key is in being assertive and not aggresive; maybe a 'this could be better' rather than 'this is sh*t' approach? I for one have suffered this many times in both my current band and the band I was in previously due to mainly being in bands with friends which I'm beggining to think is a pretty bad idea. Good luck in letting said person know anywho! (and on a last note +1 on the not letting others do your dirty work for you point!) Take care all. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cetera Posted August 23, 2007 Share Posted August 23, 2007 You could always quietly find a replacement for the 'weak link', then tell the 'weak link' that the band are splitting up. A couple of weeks later you can then 'reform' with the new member.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paul_C Posted August 23, 2007 Share Posted August 23, 2007 [quote name='cetera' post='49657' date='Aug 23 2007, 04:38 PM']You could always quietly find a replacement for the 'weak link', then tell the 'weak link' that the band are splitting up. A couple of weeks later you can then 'reform' with the new member.... [/quote] I had that happen to me, which is why I don't sing in public any more Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
misrule Posted August 23, 2007 Share Posted August 23, 2007 I have a slightly different situation, in that I have to tell other people they suck. A friend of mine is a band manager who asks my opinion on various acts he has dealings with. The latest one is dull and devoid of emotion, and that's what I told him. The same goes for anybody else I have to criticise -- I'm polite but honest. I wouldn't slag off my current band, which was set up purely for fun, but people in a serious project would know what I felt. And I'd expect the same if I wasn't pulling my weight. Cheers Mark Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lowhand_mike Posted August 23, 2007 Author Share Posted August 23, 2007 (edited) and what to do if the band has built up quite a bit of equipment? Edited August 23, 2007 by lowhand_mike Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bassboy115 Posted August 23, 2007 Share Posted August 23, 2007 turn off your mobile, dont answer the door, change practise room, tell the doorman to ban them from every gig you play! if that doesnt work +1 on taking the good parts of the band with you to a new project! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Funk Posted August 23, 2007 Share Posted August 23, 2007 An old friend of mine said this to me after he came to see us for the first time: "I only have 15 suggestions - but I wouldn't have any if you guys were crap". Don't know how that might help you but this discussion did bring that to mind. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
misrule Posted August 23, 2007 Share Posted August 23, 2007 [quote name='lowhand_mike' post='49670' date='Aug 23 2007, 05:01 PM']and what to do if the band has built up quite a bit of equipment?[/quote] You've got the same situation as a relationship. You either buy them out or sell it. It's probably best to have demarcation lines from the beginning. Let individuals buy different things and take them when you split. Cheers Mark Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lowhand_mike Posted August 23, 2007 Author Share Posted August 23, 2007 (edited) [quote name='cetera' post='49657' date='Aug 23 2007, 04:38 PM']You could always quietly find a replacement for the 'weak link', then tell the 'weak link' that the band are splitting up. A couple of weeks later you can then 'reform' with the new member.... [/quote] hehe, slight problem is that the rythmn guitarist is the singers brother and as its the singer i think it could cause problems. to be honest the band is kind of a fun thing, well thats how it started out but between the lead drums and me we want to do a bit better. might just have to bite it and go down the new band route. though i feel a bit bad as they gave me the chance to start playing again in the first place. oh the humanity! Edited August 23, 2007 by lowhand_mike Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MB1 Posted August 23, 2007 Share Posted August 23, 2007 MB1. Honesty is the best policy,tact should be the order of the day,you need to move on as quickly as possible......."Mr...(fill in the blank)...we no longer require your services"...NOT...." You couldnt carry a tune in a bucket,your crap, F**K O*F. The latter may cause damage to you,members of your band,your instruments,your car,friends,family,relatives,unborn children etc! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Funk Posted August 23, 2007 Share Posted August 23, 2007 [quote name='lowhand_mike' post='49670' date='Aug 23 2007, 05:01 PM']and what to do if the band has built up quite a bit of equipment?[/quote] Pay him for his contributions. If you didn't keep great records on who paid for what just give him an equal share. If you can't get that kind of money together quickly, then negotiate with him and let him take one piece of equipment - preferably an item that's most specific to what he does. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lowhand_mike Posted August 23, 2007 Author Share Posted August 23, 2007 [quote name='The Funk' post='49673' date='Aug 23 2007, 05:06 PM']An old friend of mine said this to me after he came to see us for the first time: "I only have 15 suggestions - but I wouldn't have any if you guys were crap". Don't know how that might help you but this discussion did bring that to mind.[/quote] we had a simlar thing at a recent gig "you guys were brilliant, just one suggestion loose the singer" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Funk Posted August 23, 2007 Share Posted August 23, 2007 Do you like the singer's work or not? Fork what everyone else thinks. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cantdosleepy Posted August 23, 2007 Share Posted August 23, 2007 It depends a lot on your responsibility towards the person. If you're at a jam night and there's some guy there who is genuinely terrible, but loud and playing in all the songs and being an obnoxious chump on top, you can just tell him that he's spoiling everyone's evening, and could he please sit a few songs out. If you're trying to let go of your nervous and generally timid keyboard player who you've known since he was a bullied primary-schooler, you have to be more gentle. The better you know someone, however, the more likely you are to know what's wrong with their playing, so the more constructive you can be... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lowhand_mike Posted August 23, 2007 Author Share Posted August 23, 2007 [quote name='The Funk' post='49681' date='Aug 23 2007, 05:11 PM']Do you like the singer's work or not? Fork what everyone else thinks.[/quote] erm... its ok i guess i was looking for some magical solution and as i suspected there aint one. but it's not my band so i figure i have no clout in that decision. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chris_b Posted August 23, 2007 Share Posted August 23, 2007 [quote name='lowhand_mike' post='49693' date='Aug 23 2007, 05:24 PM']erm... its ok i guess i was looking for some magical solution and as i suspected there aint one. but it's not my band so i figure i have no clout in that decision.[/quote] No magic.... you just have to be honest, to the point, pleasant and do not criticise or get personal. Works every time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
guitarnbass Posted August 23, 2007 Share Posted August 23, 2007 Yeah, like chris_b said, don't criticize, or you'll make an enemy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lowhand_mike Posted August 23, 2007 Author Share Posted August 23, 2007 can't think of any way of doing something like that without it sounding like a critisism. though i did forget to say thanks for the ideas so far, keep em coming. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bassboy115 Posted August 23, 2007 Share Posted August 23, 2007 i had the same problem in my old band...rhythm guitarist was crap but he was goin out with the singer and the drummer was crap and fancied the pants off the singer! In the end me n the lead guitarist just started a new band and didnt say anything as we had kinda fell apart anyway! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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